Getting older-How do you keep your self esteem up?

[mickeyfan1]

Originally posted by pnelson
I've noticed as I've grown older that my self esteem seems to be suffering in terms of looks, attractibility, self worth, etc. Now, I'm married, so it shouldn't matter, but somehow, it does. What methods do you use to feel good about yourself?

First off, you seem to have some serious issues that a ggod councelor could help with. Since you are married and you are concerned with attactability, is your husband verbally telling you that you no longer look good? If you looked good when you got married, and you have let yourself go, maybe he is concerned for your health. I am probably a lot older than you, and I get more and more self assured with each passing day. I have a very stable marraige, I live with in my means, I have a brand new house to look forward to. Yesterday I got my hair trimmed and a tattoo. I am enjoying life.

I have read a lot of your others replies to people. You seem to be not only mean, but relish in putting other people "in their place" which of course is a place of your detirmination. Being nice can be a major esteem booster. Smiling at people, offering to help a stranger, being less judgemental. ALl of those things might make you feel better. Your post remind me of the Grinch. He found out that by being less selfish he became a better person. Remember, it isn't how others treat you, it's how you treat others.

 

[helenk]

I have never worried about getting older, nobody else is getting younger. If they were then I would be upset.
I turned 50 this year and I feel great! I have lost about 50 pounds which helps me, but I did not do it for my self esteem, I decided to get healthy.
And I agree with other posters, my self esteem has nothing to do with being married, I like myself I am happy with the way I am, and I do what I do for me.
Everyone ages, but if you let that get to you, you are in for a long unhappy life.

 

[Sandy V.]

Amen to Hentob and the subsequent posters!!!

The whole part about that other thread that really bothered me was the clear insinuation that "I'm a good person because I'm thin. Those who aren't the proper weight are gross and pathetic." Mastering weight control doesn't necessarily equate to a happy life; hence the reason this thread was created in the first place.

Being slender (in the generic - NOT specific to pnelson) doesn't mean that you DON'T . . . abuse alcohol or drugs, beat your kids/spouse/pet, shoplift, embezzle, commit adultry, cheat on your taxes, gossip, lie, treat others unkindly, etc. Everybody has "issues" and the size jeans you can wear has nothing to do with most of them.

I agree with Mickeyfan1 - self esteem has nothing to do with how others treat you; it's how you treat others.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that self esteem must come from within and isn't helped (at least not much) by how a person looks. Not being overweight is only one small part of who a person is and then is not that important IMO except often for health reasons and maybe a bit for sense of self. The person who is kind and fun and so on stands out in a crowd, not the mean person.

I boost my self esteem by getting things done. Even doing small tasks give me a sense of purpose.

 

[olena]

I exercise and I started singing again. Both have been a big help.

 

[wishuponastarforever]

I think if you expect someone else to be responsible for happiness, self esteem, etc - you never learn how to be happy on your own.

It's wonderful to surround yourself with upbeat people who love you - but true happiness comes from within. The way you treat other people rubs off and you can't help but treat yourself with kindness.

On a lighter note, I just read a quote from Betty Davis - it went something like this

Growing Old is not for Sissies.

I thought it was pretty funny.

Being able to laugh at anything keeps you young and happier too!!

 

[Kitty 34]

I just turned 50 and I exercise a ton, go to physical therapy to keep my neck and back from reminding me that I'm exercising a ton and I listen to a lot of "upbeat" music. I also try to laugh a lot.

 

[tkyes]

Here's a question I've wondered about recently - is there a magic age when you finally begin to accept who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin?

When do you just learn to live with your flaws and stop thinking about them?

When and how do you learn to accept the things you can't change?

 

[snoopy]

Growing Old is not for Sissies.

LOL! I love it! That pretty much says it all for me.....

Oh, and tamie - I'm thinking that magic age might be whatever age you find yourself six feet under.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I am enjoying reading this thread and people's outlooks. To bolster self-esteem, I would sit down and identify some core values to me, such as being a courteous person, a happy person. Then I would set down some goals in these areas. The process of reaching those goals should help with your self-esteem.
I'm home during the day, so it is tricky to keep up self-esteem!

 

[tkyes]

Oh, and tamie - I'm thinking that magic age might be whatever age you find yourself six feet under.

Oh great, something to look forward too! lol!

That is not what I wanted to hear though, I wanted to hear that eventually I will learn to live with the things I dislike about myself. The next 60 years should be a hoot!

 

[Brer_Papa]

I have no problem with self esteem..one loo at our kids and I think "we done good...."

look at the grandkids and think..."the kids are doin' good and we help.."

i look in a mirror an i like what i see...i look inward and like that even better...

I keep my sense of humor and i still love a spirited debate...

I'd argure with the devil himself and if i make him laugh so much the better...

looking ahead to what may lie in the future excites me...

so....remember...the only person with you all the time is you...make the most of you....

 

[faithinkarma]

Here's a question I've wondered about recently - is there a magic age when you finally begin to accept who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin?

Every decade has been a new adventure for me. I have to say I only really hit my stride after 50 though. And that just makes me look forward to the next decade.


Brer_Papa,

great post !

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm pretty pleased with the "kind" of person I am, so my self-esteem is not based on shallower things such as looks ar attractability.

 

[Kallison]

Omigoodness, I work with a bunch of teachers fresh out of college. I don't think about it much anymore, I defintely don't feel attractive although my DH thinks I'm so hot - lol. So I guess that is all that matters. I would LOVE to lose 20 lbs. and work out and look like Demi but it ain't happening. I kid about my age a lot and most people seem surprised that I"m that old (42ish). I'm just happy to be alive, have three healthy kids and really as I get older I don't give much of a dingity dong what people think about me. That is very liberating, I'm losing the disease to please.

 

[Lanshark]

Definition

self-es·teem (slf-stm)
n.
Pride in oneself; self-respect.


Respect is a key word.

I have found that those that respect themselves also respect others. The correlation also works the other way around. Those that don't respect themselves often don't show respect to others.

Do you respect the person you are? If so it shouldn't matter if you're 30 and hot, or 80 and wrinkled. It truely comes from within.

 

[ripleysmom]

By liking what I see in the mirror.

 

[pw2pp]

Originally posted by pnelson (in another thread):

Fine, I'm rude and downright mean. Honestly, I'd rather be mean than FAT anyday. There, I said it. And I mean it.

Gee, I don't know how in the world I keep my self-esteem up (being that I am "over a size 12" and all).
Hmmm..... Maybe it's because I derive my self-esteem from being a decent, caring person who sees people for who they are on the INSIDE.

If looks are what's important to you, you are setting yourself up for disappointment since it is all downhill from here. Try working on the INSIDE instead.

 

[nativetxn]

My self esteem has never been based on my physical body, so that's how I do it

 

[BHFan25]

For me, keeping my self esteem up has nothing to do with how I look, what I weigh, how I'm dressed etc. (although those things might make me feel better).

It has everything to do with who I am in Christ--my faith in God.

Getting older is just a fact of life and no matter what you do to the outside of your body, the inside is growing old. We won't live forever. That is when I ask myself "what is next?"

Having faith in God tells me that I am loved by my Creator no matter how fat or wrinkly I get. Having faith in God helps me remember to read my Bible and try to do those things such as "Be Kind to one another". Now there is a self esteem booster. Treating others the way YOU want to be treated! I think you should try it and see how being kind to others really effects you MORE than the person receiving the kindness.