Getting a cat

[1GoldenSun]

I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I've always had a weird "thing" about indoor pets. It's not a phobia--I'm not afraid of cats or dogs. I honestly don't know what to call it. I sort of overthink the cleanliness factor regarding pets. I love animals but the idea of one living in my house grosses me out. We lived on what can best be described as a "hobby farm" when I was a kid and we always had a dog and a few barn cats running loose outside. We lived in a temperate region, and the few nights a year it got really cold my mom would let them into our foyer to sleep; otherwise they slept on the porch or in the barn. That was the closest to indoors our pets ever got. I had one horrible experience with a roommate who adopted a cat and it scratched everything it could get to shreds and sprayed the entire apartment before she was able to get it neutered. The quilt my great-grandmother made for my father when he was born was in tatters.

My daughter really, really wants a cat. We don't live in an area where an outdoor cat would be acceptable and I don't like the idea of that anyway. I said no for years but I think I'm finally going to give in for Christmas this year. Before I tell her she can get the cat, I want to figure out some ground rules--regarding what type of cat we'll get and how it needs to be cared for-- and I'd like some advice from experienced cat owners.

I'm sure she'd probably prefer a kitten but I think a grown cat would be better. Do adult cats scratch the furniture and the curtains? I'd definitely get it spayed/neutered right away if it wasn't already--does that make a difference? Do males or females do more damage? I don't want the curtains climbed. Can they be taught not to do this? How?

I'm also very apprehensive about the cat getting on the kitchen counters and our dining table. I've been at friends'/relatives' homes where the cats just jump up anywhere and everywhere. Can they be trained not to do this? The thought of a cat scratching around in the litter box and then walking around where I prepare food makes my skin crawl.

That brings me to the biggest turn-off to me: the litter box. I would expect my daughter to remove the "clumps" on at least a daily basis and optimally every time she sees that it has been pooped in, but how often do the entire contents of the box need to be emptied and replaced? I have a really strong sense of smell and don't want even a hint of cat pee odor in the house.

I'm afraid that some of you are going to read this and think that I shouldn't get a cat. Even to myself I sound rigid and uptight and like I don't really want a cat. My home may not sound welcoming to a cat. While it may be true that I don't truly "want" a cat myself, it is important to me that my children be happy. This year hasn't been an easy one and I think it would be helpful for them to have a kitty to snuggle and love. If I open my home to a cat, I'm going to be the best cat owner I can possibly be. It will not only be well cared for physically but will be made to be part of the family. I will pet the cat and talk to the cat and love the cat. I'm absolutely sure; if I didn't believe this I wouldn't consider getting one. I just need to get over the idea that cats don't wipe their buts or wear pants, but sit on the furniture. And lick themselves. A lot.

So anyway, I would appreciate any advice you may have, about ground rules to establish before we bring the car home regarding its care, as well as what type of cat to choose and how to go about getting one. I'd prefer to adopt one since that seems more responsible but would be open to buying one if there's a particular breed that would best suit our needs.

I have no reason to believe that any of us are allergic; we have no known allergies at all. My kids are 16 and 12, so will both be out of the house within 6 years. I understand that it's likely that my husband and I will have this cat for many years after the children are gone. This doesn't bother me; I hope the cat lives a long and happy life. I look at it this way--if my daughter (my more independent child) might not come home to visit me as often as I'd probably like, she may be more likely to if she would also be visiting her cat!

 

[kymom99]

First of all I would not get a cat at Christmas. Maybe give a certificate for a cat in the months to come. There are a lot of dangers around during the holidays and animals are stressed enough being brought into a new home. I adopted my current cat in mid January. He was a left over from a rescue. About 6 months old. He’s the best cat ever.

As far as your concerns go, a scratching post and frequent nail trims should help prevent scratching around the house. My cat scratches a little but hasn’t ruined anything. You can keep it off the table while you are home but no way you can control him while you are out. You will find little kitty foot prints everywhere. My cat will not stay off the mantle no matter what I do. So I just don’t put anything breakable up there anymore.

I grew up like you. Pets belonged outside. It’s an adjustment but hopefully one that will be easy for you once you see that sweet little face.

 

[nw6675]

I can relate. Grew up in an absolutely pet free home. Never ever thought I or my sister would EVER have indoor pets. I am 45 and she is 50. My DD and her DS caused us both in the past two years to get cats. I now have 2 and she has 1. We both agree that "now we understand" the love you get for your fur babies.

I got a 3 year old shelter girl kitty first. Sweetest, tiniest, diva cat. Causes no trouble as long as she has a scratching post she likes. A year later a kitten tom cat showed up in the yard. He is such a bad cat lol, but we adore him. We had to get him declawed or he would have destroyed the furniture and curtains. He is much better now and stays out of most trouble.

My recommendation is to get a girl cat and to ensure personality, consider a little bit older shelter kitty instead of one weeks old. My sister got a girl kitten and loves her to pieces.

The litter box is not so bad. We pay a lot for premium litter to cut down on smell and grossness.

I never ever ever thought I'd say it, but I love having my cats!

Eta: declawing is controversial. One we didn't, one we did. Had we not on the boy, he could not have stayed. Some countries outlaw it. Our vet was the one who recommended it and even then we waited until we felt we had no choice.

 

[kymom99]

One thing we do is put the cat in the basement at night. I do not like cat hair in the bed. Been there, done that. No more. Plus cats tend to get up at night and wake you up. It is our routine for mr. kitty to get some treats and go downstairs for the night.

 

[Lilsia]

If you don't want a cat, then don't get one. Pets are an extension of your family and if you are going to hate it, it will pick up on it and not be happy. I am a huge cat lover and currently have 2. They do get up on the counters and the cabinets and you really can not stop them. You will have to deal with the mess of a litter box. They shed, occasionally hack up hair balls, will use their claws, etc. We never had pets growing up because my mom felt the same way that you did. I survived that childhood just fine and got a cat when I grew up and moved out. If you do get a cat, they breed mostly in the summer and the shelters are usually overflowing. I know our local humane society does not adopt out pets without them first being fixed so that is taken care of, along with their first shots. Males are more likely to spray then females. None of my female cats did this. My cats are strictly indoors and I do get them declawed. Even without their claws, they still "scratch" everything and we have scratching posts for them. So I can imagine what damage they would cause with their claws. I know not all cats will do this, but you don't know what their personality will be. I love my cats more then anything and I feel that animals deserve to have a loving home where they are wanted.

 

[LuvOrlando]

You don't sound rigid, you sound responsible.
I had cats & dogs up until I was pregnant and then became allergic, now it's only dogs.
Anyway, I think it was my male that went on a spraying rampage and destroyed all my wool coats when he had crystals, which they get from high ash food. With females, you just need to wait to spay after they have their first cycle, which sounds horrendous... I thought my cat was dying but the vet explained things, we put her in the basement to sleep and had it done the next day.
BTW there is this:
https://www.friendsofanimals.org/spayneuter-certificate-information-and-instructions/

 

[SaintsManiac]

I honestly don't think you should get a cat, but I will tell you honestly what having them is like.

1. Cats will jump on every surface that you don't want them on. You can't stop them. People will tell you to spray them with water, or any other nonsensical "tips," but it doesn't work. You need to accept that they will walk on your counters. You can't watch them 24/7.

2. Cat hair is very real. Do not get a long haired cat if you don't want to deal with it. It's bad enough with domestic short hairs, but long haired cats are a whole different ball game. They must be groomed and they must have hairball gel given regularly. It's a good idea to do that for all cats, though.

3. Cats have very sensitive stomachs and urinary tracts and kidneys and livers. They are prone to UTIs. Don't cheap out on their food. Get a cat water fountain, so that it has enough fresh water to drink.

4. Please do not declaw a cat. I have 6 different types of scratching apparatus and they still get on the back of my couch and pull at it. They also go after my carpet. Usually this happens when the cardboard in their scratchers is worn out.

5. Get a cat tree and plenty of toys.

6. Litter boxes suck. We have 3 (1 per cat). My husband scoops them daily and changes all of the litter at LEAST once a month. We use Arm and Hammer Clump and Seal. It's the only kind that keeps the odor down, but you have to scoop every single day.


I have 3 cats right now. 2 from the shelter and one was a stray that turned up in my yard in 2016. I love them with all of my heart, but they can drive me crazy. You need to be committed 100%.

 

[barkley]

if you get a kitten from a shelter-see if the shelter has a 'socializing' program for their kittens. one of our local places does this-volunteers come in and pet/hold/play with the kittens to get them used to being handled by people. this way you don't run the risk of getting kitten that spends the majority of it's time trying to hide from you/kiddos.

i'll echo that scratching posts help but not entirely, they may stay off tables/counters...when you are around but all deals are off when you leave/sleep. i also wouldn't get one at christmas. too much going on-and a christmas tree is an open invitation for a kitten to create havoc (oh, and you will learn that certain things can't be left out anymore-wrapped hard candies, including candy canes either become floor hockey toys or leave my cats with minty fresh breath).

 

[Lilsia]

You don't sound rigid, you sound responsible.
I had cats & dogs up until I was pregnant and then became allergic, now it's only dogs.
Anyway, I think it was my male that went on a spraying rampage and destroyed all my wool coats when he had crystals, which they get from high ash food. With females, you just need to wait to spay after they have their first cycle, which sounds horrendous... I thought my cat was dying but the vet explained things, we put her in the basement to sleep and had it done the next day.
BTW there is this:
https://www.friendsofanimals.org/spayneuter-certificate-information-and-instructions/

You don't need to wait to spay until they have their first cycle. It's actually better to do it before, since it reduces their chance of getting any mammary cancer. Most humane societies spay when they are kittens and won't adopt them out without first being fixed.

 

[Deb & Bill]

My two boys were both adopted from Petsmart through the local animal rescue. One was about six months old, the other a little over a year. They had been kept together in one kennel for months when the younger was the last one in the litter who did not get adopted. Racer (older) was Joey's (younger) protector, so we adopted both of them. Now both are about 14 yrs old and are the best boys ever. It's really unsafe to let your cat roam at night (we learned the hard way when one of our previous cats was killed by a neighbor's dog). Both had already been neutered and have never caused any problems with marking furniture. We do have three litter boxes that are cleaned daily and a scratching post or two. Now the only going outside they get is going out to our fully screened lanai. They love to be outside during the day and they go in and out with me opening and closing the door to the lanai.

Both boys still have their claws because it is not a good thing to declaw them. It would be like tearing out your fingernails. You can get caps to put on their nails if they want to scratch stuff other than the scratching post. We did have a big cat tree a few years ago in our old home and they would scratch at it, climb it, sleep in the little house. Cats can be expensive.

 

[SaintsManiac]

P.S. One of my cats chewed through literally every cable in my house. I have spent hundreds replacing them and buying cord covers to stop him.

Cats are weird and expensive.

 

[amcnj]

Growing up we had a cat for many years. But he was an “outside cat”. He spent a lot of time indoors and slept indoors, but would go by the door whenever he wanted to go outside. He never shed, at least I never saw hair anywhere. He never jumped on counters or tables. The only places I remember him going up on were one chair where he slept during the day, and my brother’s bed where he slept at night. He also did not ruin furniture or chew things up. I guess we just got lucky!

It’s good that you are trying to figure this all out ahead of time, and I wish you luck.

 

[AgentMama]

Please please please do not declaw your cat if you get one.

 

[Tuffcookie]

There is no guarantee with cats! I took 2 abandoned cats in, about 2 1/2 yrs ago. I also have 2 dogs; Gracie, a Standard Poodle, and Molly, a Malshi. Because of allergies in the family, (youngest DS is in a PhD program out of state but still stays at my home when in town). I purchased an air purifier for his bedroom and I have a designated “cat room” for the cats in the house. This past summer, I had my brother-in-law built a catio for the cats, which is on my fenced in patio. They absolutely love their outdoor space! If you bring a cat into your home, do so, knowing you will be the one to keep the litter box clean, you will be the one taking care of it’s every need.

 

[fly girl]

You have to be willing to surrender yourself to the cat doing all the things you don't want him/her to do.

They will jump on your counters when you are away. They will. They know not to do it in front of you, but once you leave it is counter time. Catittude.

They will scratch. Agree with others, please DO NO DECLAW. It is like rendering us with hands without fingers, it is cruel. Buy a bunch of different cat scratching posts, pads, etc and see what the cat prefers. Our cat loved the corner of the rug under our kitchen table. We have a little scratch pad there now, so he can claw where he likes, just not on our carpet. (Vet told us to do that, it worked.)
Sticky pads are also great for areas they repeatedly go to. Our old cat loved the side of the couch. Sticky paws fixed it.

Litter box. Cleaned every day at least once. Full litter replacement and cleaning about once a month. You'll know when it needs it.

Kittens aren't like dogs in the fact that they are already trained potty wise. You just show them the litter box and it is instinctive. You can start good habits early too.

I have had all male cats. Just the way it happened to occur. I think females could be easier as you do have to be watchful of spraying with males.

Cats are weird. You never know what you'll get. And their demeanor changes on a dime. Our cat will purr and love against you one moment and then 45 minutes later you are just lowlife nobody that interrupted his nap.

But those moments when they cuddle ... a little slice of heaven.

 

[J'aime Paris]

We've only had 1 cat. Strawberry Shortcake is a 17 year old orange short haired tabby. We gave our DD the kitten as a Christmas gift from Santa. Our lovely neighbors had 3 very social cats, and she agreed to keep the kitty for 2 nights so we could pull off the surprise. (We had 1 dog at the time and he would have given the secret away)
We did have Strawberry declawed, since DD was young...we didn't want her to get scratched up while playing with the cat. Declawing was still acceptable 17 years ago, and she is 100 percent an indoor cat. We had no issues finding a vet to do it, and our furniture was completely unharmed as well, which was a bonus. I know it's much more unacceptable currently.

Pros: DD and the kitty bonded so well, and slept together every night until DD moved away for college. DD learned responsibility by helping me clean the litter and care for the cat, and by herself as she got older. Cats are super easy if you want to go away for a weekend. Fill the food and extra water bowl. Clean litter and you are set! This cat has been pretty low maintenance...she just enjoys a lap and some loving each day. Animals love unconditionally and have helped a lot during this emotional 2020.

Cons: The fur! Even a short haired cat will shed...I joke that Strawberry sheds more hair than our Lab. Maybe she does?? In my limited experience, cats don't "listen" in the same way that dogs do. She's not real inclined to get off the counter when you yell to her. Strawberry is the princess of our household and does exactly as she pleases, lol!
Animals get sick. You'll have messes to clean and the possibility of large vet bills.

We are empty nesters now and still have 2 dogs and Strawberry. These will be the last pets we will have. I'd like to travel more and not have to worry about pet sitters. I take pet ownership seriously, and they are treasured members of our family. I do not board them. If I cannot have a trusted family member help me out, I don't go....that's my choice. But I do look forward to a bit more freedom when they cross the rainbow bridge.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Cats can be trained to not get on the counters/furniture. When I was a kid, we got a kitten for Christmas and my mom was a lot like you. She had not grown up with pets and didn't really care for them too much. Our cat was not allowed on any furniture and she stayed in the basement when we weren't home or we were sleeping. She was great and she didn't scratch on stuff too much.

Now that I am adult, we have 3 cats and they are spoiled to the hilt. We didn't attempt to train them at all they rule the roost.

I do agree with the poster above who suggested a girl cat.

 

[SaintsManiac]

Cats can be trained to not get on the counters/furniture. When I was a kid, we got a kitten for Christmas and my mom was a lot like you. She had not grown up with pets and didn't really care for them too much. Our cat was not allowed on any furniture and she stayed in the basement when we weren't home or we were sleeping. She was great and she didn't scratch on stuff too much.

Now that I am adult, we have 3 cats and they are spoiled to the hilt. We didn't attempt to train them at all they rule the roost.

I do agree with the poster above who suggested a girl cat.

The cat wasn’t trained. It was locked up when you could not supervise it. Big difference.

I currently have a female calico. The only female cat I’ve ever had and I will not do it again. She’s too mean. All of my boys have been super sweet.

But, the posts in this thread prove just how diverse cats can be. It’s really luck of the draw on what you wind up with.

 

[mom2rtk]

Our kids got cats as Christmas gifts twice. Most memorable Christmas gifts ever! Kudos to you for considering doing this for your daughter. I can't tell you if it's the right thing or not, but best of luck to you if you go ahead with it.

Kittens are SO much fun. But they are more work and are more destructive. If you decide to go forward, I would suggest an older cat from the shelter. Spend some time interacting with them to find one who is friendly and interactive.

As an aside, my 25 year old son who lives 2 hours away just came home for the second time in a month. Our 19 1/2 year old cat is declining and he has been coming back to spend time with her, and let her sleep on him at night. It's a nurturing side of my son I'm so happy to see.

 

[VandVsmama]

Re: getting a kitten vs a grown cat:
There are pros and cons of either option. Kittens have energy at all times of day, but they're not kittens forever. Sometimes with adopting an adult cat, you can end up inheriting somebody else's problems (like spraying, pooping outside the litter box, etc.).

Declawing:
A lot of vets now won't do this procedure. You could luck out and the cat handles the surgery just fine and adapts ok. Or you could end up with your cat having all sorts of problems for the rest of its life. Declawing is like cutting off the last digit of your fingers.

Do adult cats scratch the furniture and the curtains?
It depends on the cat. From my experience, cats & leather furniture don't mix. Wherever the cat is scratching, put his/her favorite scratcher in that spot. You'll probably have to try a few different scratchers to find the one that's the kitty's favorite.

I'd definitely get it spayed/neutered right away if it wasn't already--does that make a difference?
Most animal shelters will spay/neuter the cat before you adopt it. Yes, it generally does make a difference with scratching, but all of our cats have been fixed and they all still scratch. You won't be able to find a cat that doesn't like to scratch.

I don't want the curtains climbed. Can they be taught not to do this? How?
You will not be able to teach the cat to not climb the curtains. We have 3 cats. 2 of the 3 aren't interested at all in curtains. Our 3rd cat (who's a 2 yr old, we got her as a kitten) loves to play at the base of the curtains. It drives me bananas. I know that she does this regularly when we aren't home. There's not a darn thing you can do about their behavior when you aren't home.

Re: cats getting on counter tops:
They ALL do this. Out of our 3 cats, 2 of them do this regularly in the kitchen. Even in front of me. Even after I've sprayed them with water (it no longer works at all on 1 of the cats...she now enjoys it). Cat #3's favorite counters are in the bathroom.

Our 2 yr old cat also gets on the dining room table all the time. Doesn't matter what I do, she's always on it when we're not around. I can tell because when we get home from being out somewhere, the table cloth is messed up.

So I've adapted. Before cooking or preparing food, I clean the kitchen counter.

Litter boxes:
The general rule of thumb is if you have 1 cat, you should have 2 litter boxes. If you have 2 cats, have 3 litter boxes. For how often to completely replace the litter, that depends on how nasty/stinky it is and the type of litter. We use a pine-based litter and replace it once a week.

What type of cat to adopt:
Get a short-haired cat. They still shed, but it's at least not a mountain of fur compared to if you got a long haired cat.

Other thoughts to consider:

• cats have their own personalities. They're not like dogs, which you can train to obey the master. Cats have staff...you are the staff there to serve them.
• That being said, each 1 of our cats can tell when 1 of us is upset. 1 of them will usually come over to love on whoever is having a case of the sads, for example.
• Just adopt a cat from a shelter. Don't buy a special breed or anything.
• Cats can live a long time...like 15 years, for example. So you'll have the cat in your household for a really long time. It's a commitment.
• Cats, like people, can get bored sometimes. And sometimes when they're bored, that's when they can become destructive or frustrating. So invest in a couple of cat trees and put one near your sliding glass door or in front of another window in your home. Even better if you can set up a hummingbird feeder within view of the cat tree. Thus, you have instant Cat TV.
• Go and watch some of Jackson Galaxy's videos on Youtube. They're very informative.
• Cats like to play. So buy a bunch of different cat toys and figure out which ones your cat likes the most. Then buy more of those. #1 thing most cats totally dig - laser pointer. Chasing the red dot. Play with your cat a little bit each day and they'll get worn out and won't have time to climb your curtains.
• Cats all have different personalities. For example, our male orange tabby cat is a big fat lovable lump who enjoys chattering at the birds outside the window. He's the one who favors bathroom counters and loves licking the water off of the bottom of the shower right after you're done showering. Our 2 year old female cat still acts like a kitten and sings the song of her people at 2:00 am for no particular reason. She's fond of running down the hall and then taking flying leaps halfway up the wall. As a result, every wall in our hallways have dusty cat footprints halfway up. It's just barely noticeable. It's frustrating, but it also makes me laugh, too. Our old lady cat, Olivia, is a senior citizen now whose favorite spot is to sit next to you in bed quietly while you watch TV. She only loves on me when I'm eating ice cream.