Get him out!

[Angeejoe]

My nephew lives with my dad. My dad would like to kick him out but thinks he has to give him notice of x number of days to move his stuff out (let's say 30 days). My nephew does not pay rent to my dad but does help pay the utilities. There is no written contract between the 2 - it is all verbal. Can my dad tell him to pack his crap and get out today or does there have to be time given i.e. 30 days?

Long back story - My sister (his mother) and my nephew don't get along so when my nephew and his SO broke up, my nephew lost his place to live. My sister (his mother) asked my dad if her son could move into my dad's basement since she and her son do not get along and her house was already full. My dad, thought he was doing my sister a favor and, let her son move into the basement.

There have been multiple issues with this situation. My nephew is an alcoholic. My dad is a control freak. My dad is also 86 years old and in poor health. My sister (his mother) took advantage of my dad knowing that he would never say no to her.

My nephew is a pot stirrer and has caused some problems between my other sister (his aunt) and himself. He has called the police on her, trying to get her arrested. He has maliciously involved my father in her financial business, he sent her a picture of a painted dog with the word B**** on it and most recently on Easter he and she (his aunt) were physically fighting and he called the police to my father's house and my sister (his aunt) was arrested. My nephew is telling one story to his mother, who will side with him 100% of the time, every time, right, wrong or indifferent and my dad and my other sister have the same story. I tend to believe their story and not his.

I told my dad for his safety he needs to have my nephew move out. It is not a safe environment for my dad, in my opinion. I think my nephew is up to something and I don't trust him. I think he is taking advantage of my dad and my dad isn't saying anything.

If you are still with me - what can my dad do to get this man out of his house?

Thanks for listening and for your thoughts!
Mousefan -

If you feel your dad may be being financially exploited or abused contact your fathers county Adult Protective Services. They will explore the situation

 

[smokeyblue]

Depends on laws in your state. In Michigan, you can serve a simple "notice to quit", that would be the first step in the eviction process. Second step would actually be suing for eviction. I know it would be painful, but PP suggestion of offering him money to move is a very good one and may be the quickest way to solve the problem.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

This sucks! I don't understand why since it's my father's home - bought and paid for - that he can't tell this man to get out of his house any time he wants to!!!! Why does the law protect the people taking advantage? So frickin unfair :-( I will call a lawyer to find out the particulars on this but I truly hope it doesn't cost my dad money since my nephew already takes advantage of his generosity and borrows from him often.

 

[Nancyg56]

This sucks! I don't understand why since it's my father's home - bought and paid for - that he can't tell this man to get out of his house any time he wants to!!!! Why does the law protect the people taking advantage? So frickin unfair :-( I will call a lawyer to find out the particulars on this but I truly hope it doesn't cost my dad money since my nephew already takes advantage of his generosity and borrows from him often.

You have more problems than getting rid of the nephe. If the nephew is borrowing money and Dad gives it to him, Dad needs a advocate to assist him in these decisions. I am not saying dad is nto capable, but that he is vulnerable.

If this was my Dad, fist thing I would do is consult an attorney, call elder protective services, and perhaps the police, depending n how the situation evolves. I would not leave Dad alone in the house, and would move in myself. Nephew would consider it a blessing to get the heck out after 24 hours with me.

I am not making light, I would not be pleasant and the home would not be welcoming.

 

[ronandannette]

This sucks! I don't understand why since it's my father's home - bought and paid for - that he can't tell this man to get out of his house any time he wants to!!!! Why does the law protect the people taking advantage? So frickin unfair :-( I will call a lawyer to find out the particulars on this but I truly hope it doesn't cost my dad money since my nephew already takes advantage of his generosity and borrows from him often.

Understanding all the legal ramifications, I'm curious about the "real-life" situation. What do you think would happen if your Dad (with the help of you and your other sister I'm presuming) just went ahead with setting his stuff on the porch and changing the locks? Being proactive like that would put the onus on the nephew to pursue legal avenues if they apply. Maybe he doesn't have the wherewithal to do that and would just move on - done deal?

 

[luvsJack]

I think I would call his mom, since she is the one who moved him in and tell her to fix the problem. She can take him in or tell him to go. I would be prepared to go the legal route but would do that first. If she doesn't tell him, then tell him yourself with your other sister.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I would not leave Dad alone in the house, and would move in myself. Nephew would consider it a blessing to get the heck out after 24 hours with me.

This was my thought, also. Dad needs someone on site on his side.

 

[Nancyg56]

This was my thought, also. Dad needs someone on site on his side.

To be honest, it would not have gotten this far with me. Nephew would have been gone the first time I though my dad had been taken advantage of.

I get that you can't break the law. I would not, but the nephew would be so miserable sharing space with me that there would be no need. And my sister would have already gotten the sharp side of my tongue for her role in this.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

My father is a very capable man and he will not allow me to step in and do anything. It's extremely complicated. So what you all are suggesting as far as me stepping in will not work. I feel he is being taken advantage of - my father's opinion is that he helps everyone that needs it. See where I am going with this? My dad is a bit of an enabler :-(
My nephew is manipulative and to that end I don't trust him and I feel my father is not in a safe environment since my nephew is an alcoholic and in my opinion has anger issues. I worry he will hit my father. My father feels otherwise and at 86 he still thinks he is a 50 year old man capable of taking care of himself. I have expressed my concerns to my father, to my nephews mother as well as to my nephew and I have made it very clear I do not want him at that house anymore. My father thinks he has to get a lawyer to kick him out because that is what my nephew told him.... he said kick me out but you have to get a lawyer cuz I am not leaving. Squatters rights etc....

In my opinion this is my oldest sisters problem and he needs to go live with her. They don't get along so she doesn't want him and a 35 year old man should not be living with him mommy but that is another story for another time.

I just wanted to know if we have to attack this legally or can we give him 30 days notice to get the heck out?

 

[PrincessShmoo]

My father is a very capable man and he will not allow me to step in and do anything. It's extremely complicated. So what you all are suggesting as far as me stepping in will not work. I feel he is being taken advantage of - my father's opinion is that he helps everyone that needs it. See where I am going with this? My dad is a bit of an enabler :-(
My nephew is manipulative and to that end I don't trust him and I feel my father is not in a safe environment since my nephew is an alcoholic and in my opinion has anger issues. I worry he will hit my father. My father feels otherwise and at 86 he still thinks he is a 50 year old man capable of taking care of himself. I have expressed my concerns to my father, to my nephews mother as well as to my nephew and I have made it very clear I do not want him at that house anymore. My father thinks he has to get a lawyer to kick him out because that is what my nephew told him.... he said kick me out but you have to get a lawyer cuz I am not leaving. Squatters rights etc....

In my opinion this is my oldest sisters problem and he needs to go live with her. They don't get along so she doesn't want him and a 35 year old man should not be living with him mommy but that is another story for another time.

I just wanted to know if we have to attack this legally or can we give him 30 days notice to get the heck out?

I'd say legally is the way to go. First, give him the 30 days notice, and then get a lawyer. Also, get whoever's in your area that deals with elder abuse involved. They can check things out.

 

[Miskey]

In my opinion this is my oldest sisters problem and he needs to go live with her. They don't get along so she doesn't want him and a 35 year old man should not be living with him mommy but that is another story for another time.

I find it ironic that your sister doesn't get along with him, and yet still supports his version of events 100%, and that he shouldn't live with mommy, but living with Grandpa is ok. She sounds like a real peach.

As far as advice, laws very so differently from state to state that I would say you definitely need to consult someone that knows the specifics of were your dad resides. It would not surprise me to find out that your dad will have trouble getting him out, due to him having squatters rights. I've seen too many news stories of people that actually break into empty homes, make themselves at home, and when discovered, the homeowner having to jump through hoops with the legal system and spend an insane amount of money to have them evicted, which is just nuts, imo.

Good luck to your dad

 

[Nancyg56]

My father is a very capable man and he will not allow me to step in and do anything. It's extremely complicated. So what you all are suggesting as far as me stepping in will not work. I feel he is being taken advantage of - my father's opinion is that he helps everyone that needs it. See where I am going with this? My dad is a bit of an enabler :-(
My nephew is manipulative and to that end I don't trust him and I feel my father is not in a safe environment since my nephew is an alcoholic and in my opinion has anger issues. I worry he will hit my father. My father feels otherwise and at 86 he still thinks he is a 50 year old man capable of taking care of himself. I have expressed my concerns to my father, to my nephews mother as well as to my nephew and I have made it very clear I do not want him at that house anymore. My father thinks he has to get a lawyer to kick him out because that is what my nephew told him.... he said kick me out but you have to get a lawyer cuz I am not leaving. Squatters rights etc....

In my opinion this is my oldest sisters problem and he needs to go live with her. They don't get along so she doesn't want him and a 35 year old man should not be living with him mommy but that is another story for another time.

I just wanted to know if we have to attack this legally or can we give him 30 days notice to get the heck out?

If looks like you dad needs the attorney since he has already been informed that the nephew will nit leave without a court order.

If your dad does not want assistance I guess that's it.

 

[kaytieeldr]

. My father thinks he has to get a lawyer to kick him out because that is what my nephew told him.... he said kick me out but you have to get a lawyer cuz I am not leaving. Squatters rights etc....

In my opinion this is my oldest sisters problem and he needs to go live with her. They don't get along so she doesn't want him and a 35 year old man should not be living with him mommy but that is another story for another time.

I just wanted to know if we have to attack this legally or can we give him 30 days notice to get the heck out?

I'm not an attorney and don't have any legal training whatsoever, so keep in mind this is jus my opinion. Your father may not need to adhere to any eviction or tenancy laws since he owns the house and your nephew is neither a tenant or roommate,but a non-paying Guest. Please do check the laws in the appropriate state, and consult an attorney as others advise, but you might be able to just move his stuff out (to his mom's?), change the locks, and install a security system in an afternoon.

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm not an attorney and don't have any legal training whatsoever, so keep in mind this is jus my opinion. Your father may not need to adhere to any eviction or tenancy laws since he owns the house and your nephew is neither a tenant or roommate,but a non-paying Guest. Please do check the laws in the appropriate state, and consult an attorney as others advise, but you might be able to just move his stuff out (to his mom's?), change the locks, and install a security system in an afternoon.

I'm many states he is a tenant even though he had not paid s cent. It sucks but it is the law. Best to know before taking any action. I still think making his sorry self miserable is the best route, but that's me.... Nasty as they come under these circumstances. No kitchen privileges, no laundry privileges, a room. Period. No noise, no nothing

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I find it ironic that your sister doesn't get along with him, and yet still supports his version of events 100%, and that he shouldn't live with mommy, but living with Grandpa is ok. She sounds like a real peach.


Good luck to your dad

Sad isn't it? She will support him no matter what and I think it is because she feels bad for him but not bad enough to let him move back home with her :-( The fact that she supports his story about this past weekend which caused her sister to be jailed and brought up on charges and her 86 year old father to be a part of this boggles my mind. They all have issues...

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

You have more problems than getting rid of the nephe. If the nephew is borrowing money and Dad gives it to him, Dad needs a advocate to assist him in these decisions. I am not saying dad is nto capable, but that he is vulnerable.

If this was my Dad, fist thing I would do is consult an attorney, call elder protective services, and perhaps the police, depending n how the situation evolves. I would not leave Dad alone in the house, and would move in myself. Nephew would consider it a blessing to get the heck out after 24 hours with me.

I am not making light, I would not be pleasant and the home would not be welcoming.

Same.

 

[Nancyg56]

This plus my husband would go over and make the nephew's life instant hell and would beg my husband to let him take his belongings and leave.

I would need to keep my DH away, although he is wicked intimidating. He is a mild man but riled up... My Paul Bunyan husband is scary. He once threatened to jam a punk through the storm drain when he was bullying some neighbors. Mom called all perturbed. I'm surprised he did not offer to stuff her through those little holes too!

Seriously, this is a tough situation

 

[here757]

In VA. U must get the courts to do the legal eviction. But this has one really big nice advantage no one mentioned..
After the 30 days .. If ur nephew comes back on the property he will be considered trespassing! U can call police have him removed.
Might be worth asking lawyer about no contact order as well

 

[Sabeking]

My father is a very capable man and he will not allow me to step in and do anything. It's extremely complicated. So what you all are suggesting as far as me stepping in will not work. I feel he is being taken advantage of - my father's opinion is that he helps everyone that needs it. See where I am going with this? My dad is a bit of an enabler :-(
My nephew is manipulative and to that end I don't trust him and I feel my father is not in a safe environment since my nephew is an alcoholic and in my opinion has anger issues. I worry he will hit my father. My father feels otherwise and at 86 he still thinks he is a 50 year old man capable of taking care of himself. I have expressed my concerns to my father, to my nephews mother as well as to my nephew and I have made it very clear I do not want him at that house anymore. My father thinks he has to get a lawyer to kick him out because that is what my nephew told him.... he said kick me out but you have to get a lawyer cuz I am not leaving. Squatters rights etc....

In my opinion this is my oldest sisters problem and he needs to go live with her. They don't get along so she doesn't want him and a 35 year old man should not be living with him mommy but that is another story for another time.

I just wanted to know if we have to attack this legally or can we give him 30 days notice to get the heck out?

I have no advice but this story just makes me angry. What an entitled little **** head! I have dealt with alcoholics before, they make life so difficult! I'm sorry for you guys, typical alcoholic behavior dividing family. Hugs and good luck!

 

[dfchelbay]

Your dad should file eviction papers and also a personal protection order against the nephew. He's been physically violent with another family member & your father should be & likely is afraid of him. A PPO will require him to get out of your fathers house immediately. Make the little ****** move back in with his ****** mother. His own mother doesn't want to live with him but guilts her own father in to taking in her problem child...wth? 30 day notice, eviction paperwork & PPO should be done immediately.