Gas $$$ for DD boyfriend

[nsmith]

DD17 has a boyfriend w/ his own car, parents bought it and pay for his gas he doesn't work. With the price of gas going up, up, up I give him money for gas now and then. My thinking is: She is my responsibility, if he didn't have a car we would share driving w/ his parents and it is so nice not having to drive her all over.

I got some push back on this issue from my family yesterday at dinner. Mostly things like "the boy should pay" "I wouldn't expect my son's girlfriend to pay for gas" etc.

What have you all done, or think about this issue.

 

[figment3258]

Personally jmo buri would not give money for gas unless he was working and then he could not afford a lot of gas then I would give it to my dd to help out.

 

[Hannathy]

I think you are correct. I didn't know there were still people out there that think the boy should pay for everything. In my DD's group the guys and girls will pay for things especially couples that have been dating a while. Unless it is a first date or a special thing like a birthday they pay their own way into things and both drive/take turns, or help out with gas.

I have a boy still too young to date but I hope who ever he hangs out with in a few years doesn't expect him to pay for everything!

 

[ancestry]

I think you are doing the right thing. If he is helping you and saving you from having to drive your DD then by all means you should occasionally give him gas money.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I wouldn't expect it, but I think it's a nice thing to do.

 

[Aliceacc]

My kids are still too young for this to be an issue.

But I think you're right on target.

In this day and age, I don't think it's realistic or fair to expect the guy to pay for everything. The whole "equality of the sexes" thing is a two way street-- we can't expect to be equal in terms of jobs but not in terms of paying our own way.

I think you're setting a great example for your kids about putting your money where your mouth is.

 

[NaLisa]

I think it's very considerate of you to help pay for the gas now and then. I just don't get how in this day and age people still think the guy is supposed to pay for everything.

I (female) was the first person in my grade to have a car and I drove my friends everywhere. DDad paid for maintenance and insurance on the car, but I had to buy all the gas with my summer job, allowance and babysitting money. I always appreciated it when my friends or their parents pitched in with a little gas money, and the dad of my DBF (who didn't have a car) would usually pay for some or all of our "dates" and occasionally get a gift for my dad to show his appreciation.

 

[VAN]

If this kid is driving your daughter to places that you normally would have driven, then I would consider giving some money (or a gas card) to your DAUGHTER and ask her to offer to pay for a "fill-up" occasionally.

I would not give the money directly to her boyfriend.

AND if this is just regular dating/hanging out driving, I would NOT provide any gas money at all.

Not that I think the "boy" should pay for everything; however, assume there is no reason your own daughter can't get a job or use some of her savings/allowance for these activities.

 

[Praying Colonel]

DD17 has a boyfriend w/ his own car, parents bought it and pay for his gas he doesn't work. With the price of gas going up, up, up I give him money for gas now and then. My thinking is: She is my responsibility, if he didn't have a car we would share driving w/ his parents and it is so nice not having to drive her all over.

I got some push back on this issue from my family yesterday at dinner. Mostly things like "the boy should pay" "I wouldn't expect my son's girlfriend to pay for gas" etc.

What have you all done, or think about this issue.

I think:

--When I was 17 and driving, I got a job to pay for my gas and running around;

--I would've been embarrassed to have people funding my dating;

--If my DD had been dating a guy who couldn't pay to take her out, then maybe they'd have to find another way to see one another than me paying for it.

Having said all that, I also think if I wanted to slide some gas money to my DD's boyfriend, I would tell the folks who didn't like it that they could buzz off.

 

[ilovejack02]

If my DD's boyfriend was carting my DD around , to say dance class, library , grocery store for you, softball practice etc, yes indeed I would front gas money. I like the idea of giving DD a gift card or cash so she can give him the money .

Dates, they are on their own.

 

[ilovemk76]

DD17 has a boyfriend w/ his own car, parents bought it and pay for his gas he doesn't work. With the price of gas going up, up, up I give him money for gas now and then. My thinking is: She is my responsibility, if he didn't have a car we would share driving w/ his parents and it is so nice not having to drive her all over.

I got some push back on this issue from my family yesterday at dinner. Mostly things like "the boy should pay" "I wouldn't expect my son's girlfriend to pay for gas" etc.

What have you all done, or think about this issue.

I agree with you.

 

[AmberHeartsDisney]

I think its very kind of you to give him gas money!

 

[scrapquitler]

DD17 has a boyfriend w/ his own car, parents bought it and pay for his gas he doesn't work. With the price of gas going up, up, up I give him money for gas now and then. My thinking is: She is my responsibility, if he didn't have a car we would share driving w/ his parents and it is so nice not having to drive her all over.

I got some push back on this issue from my family yesterday at dinner. Mostly things like "the boy should pay" "I wouldn't expect my son's girlfriend to pay for gas" etc.

What have you all done, or think about this issue.

I agree with you.

 

[Kellydelly]

So what if this kid is just pocketing the money you give him and his parents are still paying for all the gas? I would give your daughter a gas card and have her fill up his tank once in a while if you want her to share the expense of driving around with him.

 

[Aliceacc]

If I didn't trust him with my money, you can bet your life I wouldn't be trusting him with my daughter!

 

[4orm]

When I was a teen my parents moved me out to the sticks, about 45 minutes away from any school friends. My mom did chip in for gas sometimes when my boyfriend would drive out since she never let me use the car. She's rather pay someone else to drive me than have been stuck out there without a car to use if I was to use hers. I think it was totally fair.

 

[ceecee]

If I didn't trust him with my money, you can bet your life I wouldn't be trusting him with my daughter!

The boy shouldn't be expected to pay all the time, especially if he is taking her places that he normally wouldn't go.

 

[ChloeLily]

I think it's a nice thing to do. Especially with gas the way it is now. When I was 17 my boyfriend was younger than me, so I had a car and he didn't. His mom used to give me gas money to help me out. I always thought it was great of her to do and I helped her out with extra things (like picking up his little brother from school on our way to his house.)

 

[hsmamato2]

I think:

--When I was 17 and driving, I got a job to pay for my gas and running around;

--I would've been embarrassed to have people funding my dating;

--If my DD had been dating a guy who couldn't pay to take her out, then maybe they'd have to find another way to see one another than me paying for it.

.

that if you have a car and drive it,you should be paying. Or in the case of friends, one could give something to another, but parents funding dates is a little....upside down,IMHO.

 

[luvmy3]

If he is driving her places where she is required to be like school and work, I'd give him gas money. If he is just driving her around so the can go out on dates and hang out, then no I wouldn't. Of course I don't see why someone who has their own car isn't able to have a job to pay for what it needs, gas being one of those needs.