Funny questions from parents at freshman orientation

[powellrj]

We are sending #3 this year. We have already been through orientation back in March. It went really well, we were pretty much in and out. DH was amazed at the dining hall. It had all kinds of made to order stations and it was all you can eat. I think he was ready to move in just for the food!

We did get bad news about move-in. I guess its now a weekend and parents are expected to attend. We had planned to move her in, kiss her good-bye and head out. Staying the weekend wasn't in the plans.

 

[Sanchez]

Most schools have now created PARENT orientation meetings, mostly to keep nosy parents OUT of the student meetings, as so many of them were crashing them. Some schools have upperclassmen act as "parent bouncers" to gently remove them from meetings that they are not invited to.

A couple of schools have even instituted symbolic farewell ceremonies where the students deliberately walk somewhere together, leaving their parents behind.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/23/education/23college.html?_r=0

That is exactly what we experienced - a method to keep parents away while the students met with advisors. What a waste of time.

We spent an hour listening to inane parent questions and thinly veiled brags before walking out and doing our own thing. Some parents knew all about the course requirements and other details that should have been handled by the student.

 

[NotUrsula]

We are sending #3 this year. We have already been through orientation back in March. It went really well, we were pretty much in and out. DH was amazed at the dining hall. It had all kinds of made to order stations and it was all you can eat. I think he was ready to move in just for the food!

I'm pretty sure that DS considers the food issue to be the top make it or break it factor for his final decision on which school to attend. Men.

We did get bad news about move-in. I guess its now a weekend and parents are expected to attend. We had planned to move her in, kiss her good-bye and head out. Staying the weekend wasn't in the plans.

I doubt that you are really required to attend a weekend's worth of events if you prefer not to; I'd check with whatever dept. hosts that event and see. The odds are that they will be willing to send you whatever written materials they use.

 

[Nancy]

Not the case here. DD rarely contacts home - between the time zone difference and school, her two jobs, and her leadership position, there is rarely a good time.

Communication happens through email/text/Facebook.

I hardly ever talk to my DD's. 2 in college, 1 lives out of town. I connect via FB and texting..but not all the time. My youngest DD lives with 3 other girls and has mentioned how she thinks it is strange that they talk to their parents everyday. I told her it is not strange it's just not how we are...no one thing is right or wrong. I never talked to my parents a lot once I moved out either. I am just not a phone person, which is funny because I work in a call center.

 

[NotUrsula]

That is exactly what we experienced - a method to keep parents away while the students met with advisors. What a waste of time.

As I've been an academic for over 20 years, DS knows what will happen any time I'm on a campus other than my own; I'm going to be trying to check out the library and see if I can convince a colleague there to go to lunch.

We spent an hour listening to inane parent questions and thinly veiled brags before walking out and doing our own thing. Some parents knew all about the course requirements and other details that should have been handled by the student.

Actually, that bolded part is something that I *will* be familiarizing myself with, but I won't be helping him choose among them. It will be on my list of practical factors to consider when helping him narrow down his choice of school: will sufficient sections of the classes you need be available? If they are not, it affects the likelihood of graduating in a timely manner, and that GREATLY affects my bottom line, so I'll be aware of it. It's not something the average freshman truly understands the importance of, as high schools tend to pre-schedule the required courses and only let the kids schedule the electives. Making sure that you can get them all when you are going to need them is like playing a 4 year long game of chess, so I'm pretty sure he will need a bit of help just at first with getting his mind wrapped around the level of advance-strategy that part of college financial planning requires..

 

[StephMK]

That is exactly what we experienced - a method to keep parents away while the students met with advisors. What a waste of time.

We spent an hour listening to inane parent questions and thinly veiled brags before walking out and doing our own thing. Some parents knew all about the course requirements and other details that should have been handled by the student.

That was my experience too! Big waste of time keeping the parents out of the students' way while they registered. I ditched some of it because it was not stuff I needed to know. I would not have gone had I known the format. DD is totally in charge of her college stuff and I don't feel the need to know all the details. What I need to learn, I can look up on their website or tell DD to handle it. I have guided her but she is self-sufficient and by college, I expect her to take charge of her affairs.

 

[Praying Colonel]

My how things have changed. When I went to college, long distance phone calls were very expensive so I hardly ever called my parents. If I did it was because I was coming home and needed to be picked up somewhere. My dad wrote me a letter once a week. I don't even remember writing back but I must have done it. And of course there was no e-mail or cell phones in those days.

I don't know why, but the highlighted portion reminded me of this from my college days:

Burt Reynolds "phone card" urban legend

The way we heard it at our college was Burt Reynolds had settled a lawsuit against AT&T, and the settlement was he could make unlimited long-distance calls with an AT&T phone card. So on the Johnny Carson show he announced the number and encouraged everyone to make use of it.

A couple of college classmates tried that number, and sure enough, it worked! So for about a month, you had a lot of college kids who were calling home and having long conversations with family and SOs on that card.

Eventually it stopped working, and a month or so later some investigators began calling that payphone number trying to see if anyone would admit to having made the calls. Surprise, surprise--no one did.

I know, . But the reference to expensive long-distance jogged my memory.

 

[DizBelle]

I don't think my dad set foot on campus until it was for my graduation ceremony. And I went to a college that was local - about 30 minutes from home.

 

[powellrj]

I don't think my dad set foot on campus until it was for my graduation ceremony. And I went to a college that was local - about 30 minutes from home.

We didn't even do that much. DS graduated this year and decided not to walk because he was too cheap to pay the graduation fees! They just mailed his diploma to him!

 

[Arielle22]

DDS go to same college. We went to the important parts of the orientation but had no desire to do meet and greats with other parents. For second DD we skipped it entirely.

I expect both of them to handle their own affairs. I will assist if asked but they are old enough to try on their own first.

Best phone call of the year was from younger DD who is a freshman inquiring if she should go to the dr if her snot (her word) was green.

 

[MomofKatie]

So - if you are the parents of a girl, you'll hear from your daughter frequently, and if you are the parents of a guy - you're sort of screwed?

My brother and I were the opposite- he called home twice a week, Wednesdays and Sundays, at 10pm when the rates went down, like clockwork, for the 4 years he was in college. We used to call him "homeboy" because he told my mom he wanted to live at home forever (luckily, he got married 6 months after he graduated, or he might still live with my parents).


I, on the other hand, only called home when I needed money or a ride home. My mom said she assumed I was okay- she guessed the college would call if I had been in an accident or something.

DD will be heading off to boarding high school for her junior year in the fall- I hope she calls or texts at least once every few days.

 

[scrapquitler]

I went over to College Confidential and read that entire thread today. When DD came home from school, she was talking more about her orientation (it was two days earlier this week), so I mentioned to her that I was thinking about her move in day, and I want her to decide and let us know about how she wants us to handle move in day. Should we drop and go, stay and unpack, or what? I let her know that she can take the lead and we will follow her wishes...and she told me that she wants me to stay and help her get all unpacked and organized, but that 'we' need to think of some mission for Dad and younger brother to do that day while we unpack her so that they won't be trying to help or embarassing her.

while we were are orientation, there was ONE mom who kept asking questions that I'm sure the daughter would have been mortified by. When they were talking about overnight guests in the dorm, they said that the kids can have 'no more than three overnight guests at a time, all have to be signed in' and Mom was upset that this included guests of the opposite sex, and she kept going "but my daughter won't allow this of her roommate, what happens then?" and later she asked if her daughter should call the campuspolice if the male guests were in the girls bathroom, and would they be arrested.

 

[mom2rtk]

I thought we had just about the right amount of contact from DS this past year, his first year away. He called around once a week or when something came up. We texted back and forth every now and then when needed, or when I saw his cat doing something interesting (like sleeping in a different position! ). I wouldn't be surprised to see the calls drop off this year when he returns.

Back in the days of expensive long distance, I got a call every Saturday afternoon at 3. My mom set a timer for an hour, and if we weren't done when it went off, we were done then. That was it until the next Saturday.

 

[Robinrs]

That was my experience too! Big waste of time keeping the parents out of the students' way while they registered. I ditched some of it because it was not stuff I needed to know. I would not have gone had I known the format. DD is totally in charge of her college stuff and I don't feel the need to know all the details. What I need to learn, I can look up on their website or tell DD to handle it. I have guided her but she is self-sufficient and by college, I expect her to take charge of her affairs.

It always depends on the child. Some are self sufficient while others have no clue.

Neither of my parents ever even graduated high school so I was TOTALLY on my own. I entered college at the age of 16 and looked about 12. People came up to me and asked me if I was lost! But I made it thru, graduated at 20 and my parents never even set sight of my campus till I graduated.

My son is a whole different deal. He needed guidance so I provided it for him the first semester. After that he was on his own.... and better at it than I thought he'd be. He's in a special sponsorship that he could lose quickly if he doesn't follow protocol so I occasionally prod him but his sponsor told me NOT TO, he's got to be the one to do it all. All I could think about is if he lost I'D BE THE ONE TO PAY FOR IT. Once my son realized that, he stayed on the program.

He'll be a junior next year and he's working it out...phew!! Every semester is a prayer!

 

[indimom]

Wow, times change. My parents didn't attend any orientation when I started college. On move-in day, they helped me carry all my stuff inside, then hit the road. I attended ISU and my older sis attended Ball State and we moved in on the same day.

The only time I would call my family was to let them know when I was coming home. I would catch rides with students traveling toward my home town and they needed to know where to pick me up.

We never just called to chat. Mom didn't even know I had mono my first semester until a visit home, after I had recovered.

 

[Buckalew11]

I thought orientation was a hoot. Comments to parents were "teach your student to do laundry" and "teach your child to fix themselves a well balanced plate of food." Evidently too many eating macaroni and mashed potatoes and rice on one plate during the same meal, lol.

Parents were very anxious being separated from the students. One raised her hand and asked about how her kid was going to pick his class schedule if she was not with him. They were told parents are not welcome during that and if they show up, they'll be escorted out.
I homeschooled DD for 4 years so I was relieved not to have any more to do with it.

My sister did keep up with her kids' college schedules. If she had not, her second would not have graduated in 3 1/2 years--it would have taken 4 1/2. When she did it, they told Jen that no one even finished in 4 with her major, let alone early. Jen said she was able to do because of her mom's advice on certain classes.

My kid is far too independent for that. She'll learn the hard way, if that happens to her.

I heard from DD more in her SO year than her FR year.

She has spent both summers in Portland so I do not hear much from her when she is out there either.

 

[2Kds2K9]

Just did orientation for dd. Saw one father walk in holding his dd's hand. Looked like neither one wanted to let go. Yikes! They did the same by splitting the kids from the parents. I liked that we were not together when the kids selected their classes, and the parents at least got some decent information from the school.

For ds's orientation last year, it was more involved. DH and I only went to a few parent sessions that we felt were necessary. Didn't do any of the receptions, etc. had to laugh as DS called home 6 times the first time he did laundry. Don't expect the same from dd.

 

[mom2rtk]

DS called home 6 times the first time he did laundry.

Mine texted me a photo of the washer controls asking which buttons to push.

 

[cayennews]

I worked at a college in the residence life office for many years. I have heard and seen it all. At least some college students are still doing their own laundry. Some schools even have a laundry service now. Having done spot visits into the dorms, the general observation is that if your child lives in a suite set-up and there is a common area, that area will never be clean and the carpet will smell like stale beer.

At least with technology these days you can text and call whenever you want. When I was in school we had all of those long distance charges. Plus you had to be home to make or receive a call. Just a reminder to parents, there is a FERPA law that prohibits the college from disclosing information to you about your child. Call them first.

 

[barkley]

what surprised me at dd's orientation (parent portion) was how little some parents knew about where their kids would be living the next 4-5 years, and how they needed to get some things set up in advance of their move in. it wasn't until a few parents like myself asked a few questions that it even occurred to other parents they needed to as well.

banking-is there a local national bank or credit union (with member sharing capacity with other credit unions)? little town where dd goes only has 1 small national bank location. if we weren't local she would have needed to set up an account there b/c not everything can get done by phone-you sometimes need to go into a brick and mortar location (esp. if your financial aid direct deposit hiccups). are there any atm's on campus-if so are they only in buildings open certain hours? (1 on dd's campus-open till 11 most nights. absent that it's the high fee for use one at a convenience store off campus.

health care-is the campus health center ON CAMPUS? if not where is it? dd's is a 2 block walk from campus so not too bad, but they don't do late urgent or emergency care AND her campus coverage only covers very limited health issues so..............we had to set her up w/insurance info. at that location (for items not covered), had to set her up at the urgent care/emergency location (for pretty much everything) AND get paperwork on file with both of those and the university so that if she needed us to help navigate insurance issues we could. pharmacy-is there one locally or at least does delivery? in dd's case-no on delivery, and the closest that's open any decent hours is a couple miles away (fine if you have a car, if not then better hope the busses are still running cuz it's a LONG walk both ways). so-had to make sure that pharmacy accepts our coverage, get her set up with them AND FILE ANOTHER PAPER with them so if she needs insurance help we can talk to them.

financial aide-like most parents, I enter mine/dh's info for the fasfa (let's be honest-I do the whole thing). so, if the financial aid office has a question about OUR portion am I permitted to answer it myself? NO, not unless dd files yet ANOTHER FORM with the university granting them/us permission. last week alone the university sent 3 e-mails TO ME about fasfa information, absent having that form on file I would have to do some kind of 3 way call w/them, dd and I to just figure out what they needed to know and provide it.


some questions at orientation are downright dumb ('do you have a system like my kid's highschool did where I can log in and make sure they've handed in their homework every day'?), others might seem dumb initially-but can open up a world of other questions that do need to be asked and answered.