Funny announcements CMs make?

[angelegod]

"Don't laugh. I was the hula-dancing girl there for 15 years."

I thought they used dolls in its a small world not people

 

[NMAmy]

On a tram to AK:

"Your driver's name is Steve. He's a Sagitarius, enjoys long walks on the beach and never supersizes his McDonalds value meals."

On the parking lot tram at AK several years ago - spoken by the college aged announcer, about the middle aged white man driving the tram -

"My name is David, and I'd like to introduce your driver...(dramatic pause)...Chaka Kahn...Chaka Kahn".

I've never ridden a tram at WDW but apparently I need to just ride around the parking lot a couple of times at the AK.

 

[bytheblood]

At the Haunted Mansion a CM was welcoming the Guests with a somber "Good-bye."

And there was the CM at BTMR who answered the question "Does this ride go upside-down?" with "Not if it's working right."

Love those!!

 

[stan_the_man]

I thought they used dolls in its a small world not people

I think the quote was a joke

 

[Puccaw]

Upon exiting a tram in 2005. "Folks..please watch your step and if you forget to watch your step....please watch your language!"

Thought it was a good one!!

 

[steve51761]

It was at the end of the day of our first trip to the Magic Kingdom. A CM was telling everyone to move down to the end because there was more space down farther when we got in line for the monorail ride back to the parking area. He said it like " All the way down to the end sir please all the way down in the back!" It had such a nice rhythm when he said it, our family of three put a nice loud "WOO" into the pause before he repeated the same line. Since we (and many others) were exhausted from a fun-filled day, and probably a little punchy too, almost everybody around us joined in and the "WOO" just kept getting louder! It was a lot of fun just for standing in line waiting for the monorail to arrive! We still talk about that 6 years later!!

 

[WilsonFlyer]

My current favorite tram comment:

"in order to exit the Magic Kingdom parking lot, just follow the white lines. Those lines have been there for 35 years, they know the way."

That one's CLASSIC. Thanks for sharing.

 

[WilsonFlyer]

This thread is gonna get HILARIOUS! I've heard hundreds over the years but can't remember any. This is gonna get GOOD.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

I have three that I use. Two of them are at my temporary position:

Sounds Dangerous: At the show's end, after telling people to enjoy the rest of their stay I also warn them to "Beware of Elephants".

Indiana Jones: When I am a packer and trying to get people to move together and fill in all spaces: "Don't worry about the odors of the people next to you, they think you smell just as bad".

And at my regular job at the Typhoon Lagoon turnstiles: When for some reason the biometric scanners are turned off: "The finger scans are turned off. You could have left your fingers back in the room this morning".

 

[ms*mountaineer]

There was a photopass photographer in the hub and I walked up to him and asked him to talk a picture of our family in front of the castle.

As we decided where we should stand, he said "now, I'm not going to be able to get the whole castle in the picture"

I said "that's OK"

He said "Just the front"

 

[koolaidmoms]

I am a VERY Ex-large Pooh sized person and once at the end of the Haunted Mansion ride the CM said as we exited the ride, "Come back little girl." I said, "He called me Little!" The CM almost swallowed his tongue.

On the Tram from MK "This tram does not stop until we reach our destination for any reason. If you lose your hat, sunglasses, bag or child from the tram please do not attempt to retrieve these items. We will send some one to pick these items up and return them to you. Yes, you must take your children back home with you."

 

[Chellymouse]

We had an amazing bus driver in Dec on our way to Epcot. He had the entire bus singing Christmas carols. Our driver's name was Juan, unless we were offended by the singing in which case his name was Tom. What a great way to start the morning!

Overheard at the loading dock of Dinosaur: CM to a dad and his dd...No honey, the dinosaurs only eat their own young.

Apparantly the pilot of our plane on the way home is also a Mouse-Fan....we were in the air about 5 minutes when he came on with the following: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to again welcome you aboard Airtran flight 900 with service to CAK. At this time, I'd like everyone to look out the window and say goodbye to Mickey, Sunshine and Florida. It is currently 23 degrees with light snow at CAK and we should be landing in one hour and 48 minutes." I've never heard that many people groan on a plane....ever!

 

[ms*mountaineer]

Oh - I have one more.

We were finishing dinner at the Rose & Crown on the porch - it was getting close to 9:30. We had told our waiter that it was our MIL's (Ann) 80th birthday so he brought some dessert and they all sang Happy Birthday.

Then the waiter announced to everyone on the porch: "Here at Walt Disney World, it's the Year of A Million Dreams and we'd like to do something extra special for you, Ann, on your birthday, so we've arranged a little show for you. So happy birthday Ann - this is all for you" And he pointed to the lagoon as Illuminations started!

 

[Luvamouse]

On the parking trams/boats/busses/in ride queues - anything that isn't scripted.

On an Epcot parking tram around park closing: "This tram only accesses the following lots....This tram does NOT access any resorts, busses, taxi stands, other parks, your house, my house, the Waffle House or the White House."

On a bus to DHS in the middle of the day: "Just so you're aware, DHS closes at 8pm tonight. To get a bus back to your resort, head over to bus stop 4. Keep in mind that the busses stop running an hour and a half after the park closes so tonight the last bus will leave DHS at 9:30pm. However, here at Disney we like to take care of all our guests so if you happen to miss that last bus, don't worry, we'll send a bus just for you...at 7am tomorrow morning"

Waiting in line at Monster's Inc Laugh Floor: "Please move ALL the way forward, filling in ALL available space. Okay folks, now, please raise your right arm high into the air. Now raise your left arm high into the air. If you have not offended anyone around you, you are not close enough to them. Please move ALL the way forward."

Thank you Bounce Tigger for starting this! I have heard a few of these and always appreciate people who know the best way to deal with long days and thousands of tired people is humor. These are just great everyone-- so glad to find this thread!

Editing to Add** This nearly brought tears to my eyes. What a lovely CM to do that for her (and I do mean say that...)

Oh - I have one more.

We were finishing dinner at the Rose & Crown on the porch - it was getting close to 9:30. We had told our waiter that it was our MIL's (Ann) 80th birthday so he brought some dessert and they all sang Happy Birthday.

Then the waiter announced to everyone on the porch: "Here at Walt Disney World, it's the Year of A Million Dreams and we'd like to do something extra special for you, Ann, on your birthday, so we've arranged a little show for you. So happy birthday Ann - this is all for you" And he pointed to the lagoon as Illuminations started!

 

[Osjah&Landon'sMom]

OMG I had to read them all to make sure I didn't repeat... but my FAV was a Tram driver... we are approaching Minnie... if you think you parked in Mickey your car is thousands of miles away as the ONLY Mickey parking lot is in CA....

 

[mom2munchkins]

Upon exiting a tram in 2005. "Folks..please watch your step and if you forget to watch your step....please watch your language!"

Thought it was a good one!!

That's hysterical! I love it!

 

[MKEMSE12]

We were at DHS last week and as we got off the backlot tour our guide said, "as you get off watch your head but if you don't watch your head speak softly and watch your language." It was hilarious!

 

[BradyBz12]

These are so great!! I love coming across CMs like this who just add to the fun.

My favorite is from a few years ago at HM. The woman at the end as you disembark your doom buggy, instead of saying "please watch your step" said (in a total deadpan voice), "Trip and fall down... trip and fall down..."

DH and I still say it to each other every time we ride.

And while not something said, one time the CM at the HM who loaded us into the stretching room crept up behind DH and just stared at him over his shoulder. I was quietly dying laughing because he didn't know she was there. It was a good 30 seconds before he turned... and then practically jumped out of his pants!

 

[Navywife508]

These are so great!! I love coming across CMs like this who just add to the fun.

My favorite is from a few years ago at HM. The woman at the end as you disembark your doom buggy, instead of saying "please watch your step" said (in a total deadpan voice), "Trip and fall down... trip and fall down..."

DH and I still say it to each other every time we ride.

And while not something said, one time the CM at the HM who loaded us into the stretching room crept up behind DH and just stared at him over his shoulder. I was quietly dying laughing because he didn't know she was there. It was a good 30 seconds before he turned... and then practically jumped out of his pants!

I had one of the HM CM's just stare at me too when I was around 15. Scared the living tar out of me!

We we at AK in Dec when one of the cast members walked up to me and said," Sorry miss but you need to go change your sweater. It's has a gap in it." I was stumped then DH was laughing calling me an idoit, I forgot I had my GAP pullover on.

 

[LovesHauntedMansion]

The guy checking the bags at the entrance to one of the parks announced that he will be confiscating all Snickers candy bars.