funniest things you have ever heard in a store

[monsterkitty]

Once I was 1 aisle over from a lady who called out "Don't come over here Mary". I went around the corner and it was obvious why she said that. It was the smelliest fart I've ever encountered! Now whenever one of us poots the other will say "Don't come over here Mary!"

I think I met Mary and her friend at the store yesterday. The one lady said, "You might want to skip this aisle" to her friend.

 

[jamzots]

Could be anywhere I guess, but what are the funniest or strangest things you have ever hear?

I was in Marshall's I think it was (I hate that store, but anyways. LOL.) There was some older woman talking to a friend of hers about her daughter. This woman was complaining about her daughter because I have no idea why. The one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, being a mother to her is like being a mother to a cockroach or rat or something like that." I had to run out of that aisle to keep from laughing. I thought that was the funniest, strangest thing I had ever heard in my life.

LOL a little off track here but one of my favorite sayings is "being a Mom is like being pecked to death by a chicken"

 

[Shugardrawers]

Poor Mary has no idea she's infamous!

 

[LightBurnsBlue]

Sounds like one of my friends is "Mary"! Last year I went shopping at Walmart with her and some other friends. We were looking at the shoes, and my friend was in the aisle right in front of the stock room door area. Well, after she was done looking at the shoes in that area, I went over there to look....and WOW! I think I gagged!

Then....some stock boys came out and they were like "Dang!" and "Damn!" Of course...my friends and I started laughing and pointing at the guilty culprit. She was beet red, but now looks back on it and laughs.

This friend is also coming with me to WDW next month...hope she doesn't let one loose like that in line!

 

[mickeyfan2]

This friend is also coming with me to WDW next month...hope she doesn't let one loose like that in line!

This might work better than FP.

 

[msdznyduck]

One of my co-workers went to Motor vehicles to renew her drivers' license. Now, you have to have your whole life history.........birth certificate, marriage license, divorce decree, marriage license again if remarried, etc.
She finally got to the front of the line with all her 'proof' of who she was, and this kid tells her that her (current) marriage license has expired.....she nearly flipped out. He wouldn't listen to her, that they DON'T expire. Of course he was only about 20, and probably unmarried (or married, hoping his license would expire ) Of course she went at lunch time, so there weren't as many employees there, and they were all busy, so it took awhile til this kid could get someone else and get it straightened out.

Now at work when one of us has a 'disagreemnt' with our husbands, we make a comment about wishing our marriage license would expire..

 

[Regina]

One of my co-workers went to Motor vehicles to renew her drivers' license. Now, you have to have your whole life history.........birth certificate, marriage license, divorce decree, marriage license again if remarried, etc.
She finally got to the front of the line with all her 'proof' of who she was, and this kid tells her that her (current) marriage license has expired.....she nearly flipped out. He wouldn't listen to her, that they DON'T expire. Of course he was only about 20, and probably unmarried (or married, hoping his license would expire ) Of course she went at lunch time, so there weren't as many employees there, and they were all busy, so it took awhile til this kid could get someone else and get it straightened out.

My sister has complained about the NJ requirements to get a photo license. I can only imagine if she got this kid.

Many years ago, I was working in a dive of a discount store. We had a string across a doorway with "do not enter" written on a piece of cardboard. That was our stockroom.

A customer comes in looking for one of those rolling grocery carts. We drag one out and she insists that we have a "better one." We assure her that's the only one we have. (It's not like there was a huge demand for these.)

I invite her to accompany me to the stock area to see for herself. She flips out and starts screaming as she points to the cardboard "do not enter" sign, "I know what you're doing. That's a camera. You're taking my picture." Then she starts ranting that she wants our names and numbers. We look at each other and got the manager.

He tells her that the cart is the only one that we carry, and sweet as pie she thanks him and leaves.

 

[luvflorida]

Poor Mary has no idea she's infamous!

I just got on Disboards this morning and the very first thread I see is this one! Of course, I'm reading it and reading the "Mary" comments and I'm laughing hysterically all over again. What a way to start the day! Thank goodness I'm the only one home because the rest of the family is starting to worry about me!! Everytime I get on Disboards and replay that scene in my head, I bust out laughing.

Seriously, that story and that now infamous line, "Dont' come over here, Mary", has got to be the funniest thing I've ever read on these boards. It should get some kind of DIS-story comedy award or something!!

 

[PrincessaC]

"bob to the front of the store, please, bob to the front of the store"

All I could picture was everyone "bobbing" to the front of the store!

 

[malibuconlee]

I was in Target just yesterday and this little girl, no older than 3, was holding something as her mom pushed the cart she was ridng in. She sais "Is this in sale?"

Starting them off young!!!

 

[parrothead365]

My Father in law (god rest him) owned a Hardware store for over 30 years. One of his favorites was this guy that came in looking for a "5 cent screw" My mother in law who was working the counter at the time told him he was looking in the wrong place (they where two isles over).

 

[minkydog]

I was checking out at the grocery store and the cashier was having a vigorous conversation with the bag boy about the "new" THREE dollar bills. The boy was trying to explain to her that there was no such thing, but she was insistent that she had seen them and they were real! Finally the boy turned to me and said, "What do you think?" I told her the next time I came in I'd pay for my groceries with those "new" three dollar bills She might want to ask her manager 'bout that.

 

[NMAmy]

Oh, these are hysterical! You guys make me laugh.

I have two:

I was shopping with a friend and her 16 yo dd. The daughter was trying on shoes. Apparently, this shoe salesman had a quota because he was insisting that a pair of shoes that were way too small would fit on the kid's feet. Bless her heart, she very politely leaned over and tapped the guy on the shoulder as he was struggling to cram her foot into the tiny little shoe and said, "Excuse me. I'm NOT Cinderella, I am the ugly stepsister and there is NO WAY that shoe is going to fit on my foot." We called her the ugly stepsister for years after that!

Another time, I was shopping at a record store with a friend. When the friend asked the teenage sales clerk if they had any Mozart CD's, we about died when she got this reply, "Well, I don't think we have anything he actually PLAYED on but I'm pretty sure we have other people doing covers of his songs." We were going to snatch up those original recordings of Mozart if she could find 'em!