funniest things you have ever heard in a store

[Lars624]

I overheard someone asking a friend of mine, who has boy/girl twins, if the kids were identical twins!!!

I have boy/girl twins & lots of people have asked me this.
My twins are 16 now & I've had people ask it recently....unbelievable isn't it??

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

I have boy/girl twins & lots of people have asked me this.
My twins are 16 now & I've had people ask it recently....unbelievable isn't it??

Wow, that really IS unbelievable!! I mean, even if you don't know the biology behind identical and fraternal twins, just the basic definition of "identical" should tip people off that a boy and a girl could NEVER be identical!!!

Edited to add: What do you say when people ask you this?

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

There was one time when I nearly busted up in front of a customer. She had a little boy with her who was probably 3-4 years old. The mother was trying order and the boy kept yanking on her pants.
"I wan' achy ships! I wan' achy ships!" he kept saying. I guess he meant "potato chips" but achy ships sounded totally hilarious to me.

TOV

 

[mickeyfan2]

What do you say when people ask you this?

I would say, yes they are identical, but we wanted one of each, so the Doctors accommodated us.

 

[Pooh's Pixie]

I was in the hospital ER waiting room recently and this older woman struck up a conversation with the young British woman next to me. She was just chatting away. She said how her husband used to travel alot for business and he once was in England and he had a particular tour guide called Sophie and "they got a little too familiar, if you know what I mean"!

I couldn't believe she was telling this totally irrelevant personal info to a complete stranger within earshot of about 15 people!!!

 

[Shugardrawers]

I couldn't believe she was telling this totally irrelevant personal info to a complete stranger within earshot of about 15 people!!!

When my grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer he had to have his testicles removed. My mother had no shame in telling even the store clerks that her daddy had just been castrated!

 

[Jeanny]

my daughter's friend was returning a lamp to a store (for which she had paid cash & had the receipt), the Customer Service Rep wasn't going to give the money back....so she says to the CSR "Well, you'll have to decorate me like a Christmas tree because I ain't moving!!!!"

 

[Stitchfans]

These are all so funny not only am I LOL but reading them to my DH in the other room. I can hear DD giggling.

 

[motherhen17404]

One of the funniest things I have heard in a store, I just happened to say it.

Anyone who knows me knows I am not a diva, but I had a diva moment while shopping. DH and I were in a department store in the handbag/hosery/slipper area and I was looking for something and DH just kept following me, getting in my way and driving me nuts. I told him that he did not have to follow my every step and he said, "Thats was ok, it's my job". Well, I turned around and said, "Look, your job is to sit down, shut up, look sexy and have the credit cards ready"! Well, I heard a gasp, and I looked over and there were two old ladies just looking at me with this look of horror. DH and I just cracked up laughing.

 

[mickeyfan2]

"Look, your job is to sit down, shut up, look sexy and have the credit cards ready"!

I just told this to DH. He thought it was . I told him that I reserve the right to use it in the future.

 

[LadyyRedd]

I also have one that I said.

I work as a retail manager part time and I had a lady screaming at me in the middle of my store to take back an item that was 3 years old despite our 60 day policy. She screamed somethign to the effect of "I'm going to stand here until you give me my money back" and I replied "ma'am, you're welcome to stand there as long as you like until 9:30, that's when we close". She didn't like it too much.

Kimya

 

[laurie31]

OMG!! When I first read the title of this thread I thought of that story!! I remember you posted it on the fart thread and it was the funniest thing I have ever heard!! I still think of it every now and then and still laugh out loud!!

Me, too!! And I just imagine the woman saying it with a voice like the lady from that "where's the beef" commercial

Laurie

 

[Pollito916]

I used to work at a restaurant and once had a customer return crabcakes, because they were too "fishy".

My little sister also waitressed, and had a customer complain there was too much squid in her calamari.

I swear some people don't even know what they are ordering!

 

[Mish19]

Years ago I worked in a large chain drugstore and we locked the doors and were straightening the store up. Suddenly we heard LOUD banging and some lady was screaming "TV GUIDE, I NEED A TV GUIDE!!!"

 

[laurie31]

My little sister also waitressed, and had a customer complain there was too much squid in her calamari.

Laurie

 

[jipsy]

One of the funniest things I have heard in a store, I just happened to say it.

Anyone who knows me knows I am not a diva, but I had a diva moment while shopping. DH and I were in a department store in the handbag/hosery/slipper area and I was looking for something and DH just kept following me, getting in my way and driving me nuts. I told him that he did not have to follow my every step and he said, "Thats was ok, it's my job". Well, I turned around and said, "Look, your job is to sit down, shut up, look sexy and have the credit cards ready"! Well, I heard a gasp, and I looked over and there were two old ladies just looking at me with this look of horror. DH and I just cracked up laughing.

My BF always tells me that my job is to just sit there and look cute.

 

[Pollito916]

"Look, your job is to sit down, shut up, look sexy and have the credit cards ready"!

That is great! I'm goihg to use that one!

 

[luvflorida]

Years ago I worked in a large chain drugstore and we locked the doors and were straightening the store up. Suddenly we heard LOUD banging and some lady was screaming "TV GUIDE, I NEED A TV GUIDE!!!"

This cracked me up!!

 

[luvflorida]

Me, too!! And I just imagine the woman saying it with a voice like the lady from that "where's the beef" commercial

Laurie

"Don't come over here, Mary." Everytime I think of it, I start laughing out loud. I'm starting to scare my family!!

 

[monsterkitty]

I have boy/girl twins & lots of people have asked me this.
My twins are 16 now & I've had people ask it recently....unbelievable isn't it??

I always ask my students who are twins if they have the same birthday. It's fun to see the looks on their faces.

BTW, my best friend and her twin sister not only have different birthdays, but ther were born in different years. My friend was born on 12/31 at 11:57 p.m. and her sister was born on 1/1 at 12:07.