Funeral Pictures

[Purrrrfecta]

Originally posted by Jeanny
I've personally never heard of taking pictures of a funeral/casket. Seems a little morbid and creepy to me.

Yeah, that is what my mom thought when she and my grandmom ran out of her best friend's home when he showed them a pic of his mother in a casket They just totally freaked. They have a real problem seeing the dead

 

[goofygirl]

Some background on this: Taking pictures of the deceased, especially of deceased children was quite common around the turn of the century when photography really became more and more popular and commonplace. And of course in that era is was not unusual to lose a child. You could even find some "death photos" on ebay that date back to the early 1900's. I'm an old photo collector but I have yet to buy one of these!

I think taking photos of the deceased is a bit macabre, but to each his own!

 

[chrissie123]

I don`t know of any one who has done this... but spose it`s up to the individual...if it makes them feel better, then so be it... personally though i do not think i could look at a person lying in a casket whether it be on a photo or at a funeral... much prefer to remember the people that i know , (who are sadly no longer with us) as they were in life & all the happy times i had with them...i think seeing pictures of them in a casket would spoil my memories...

 

[skuttle]

No, I've never done that and I've never heard of anyone doing that. Personally, I'd rather have memories and pictures of them alive and well. I wouldn't really want to remember them in their casket.

 

[safetymom]

When my husband passed away my brother in law took pictures when we were standing by the casket. My kids and I were very upset that he did this.

We preferred to remember my husband and the kids father the way he was when he was alive. This upset the kids terribly.

It would have been ok if he had asked first or waited until we weren't there to see him take the pictures.

 

[lisa702]

I hope you don't mind me replying....... Speaking from personal experience........ I lost my 16 year old daughter 5 years ago and up until then I never would have thought about taking a picture of a loved one in a casket, but when its your child, things change. I have a couple photos of my daughter in her casket. They are put away for now. I am making a scrapbook of her life. The photos will be on the final pages. I also take photos of her cemetary stone, every time I put flowers on it. Its my way of coping with my loss. Photo or not, I will never forget seeing her lying in her casket.

 

[Microcell]

My uncle took one of my mom and I thought he was weird. I saw him do it while I was walking in to do my hourly check of her body. I obsessed about her through the wake and funeral. There was a black spot on one of her fingers like a piece of dirt or something that I kept telling the funeral director needed to be fixed (which he never did). Looking back I thought he was weird? I beleive I was the one who lost it.

 

[oogieboogie]

My family back home still do this. A lot of people in Indonesia still do this, in fact it's unheard of not to take pictures.

 

[froglady]

Originally posted by CamColt
Ive never actually seen anyone do this, however I agree that whatever the family needs to do, they should.

QUOTE]

Ditto. We all have idiosyncracies when it comes to handling grief, and I would hate to have someone criticizing mine. As long as I'm not doing anything disrespectful or illegal, who cares?

Personally, I was able to purchase "widow's weeds" a long time ago, and plan on using them, if my husband predeceases me. I'm sure many people would find it strange, but I would prefer to not have people see me crying in public.

 

[ladydancer]

After reading the posts here and reading everyones feelings on this subject, it brings to mind something else that was said to me at my mothers funeral.

We had a 1 day viewing of my mother and she was to be buried later that day. Everyone arrived about 10:00 am. About 2:00 the family decided to go across the street and get some lunch. My elderly aunt refused. She was my mothers older sister. It was explained to me by my younger aunt, that years ago when my elder aunt was young the body was set up on a table in the palor of your home. The family would sit up all night with the body until the next day when they would bury the person. Apparently this was common practice. So this was why my aunt didn't want to leave my mother until she was buried. This was before funeral homes in the area. Perhaps they had them in city's but this was the rural south.

I guess what I'm thinking is the picture taking wouldn't seem so weird or morbide to some if they sat all night with a body.

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by goofygirl
Some background on this: Taking pictures of the deceased, especially of deceased children was quite common around the turn of the century when photography really became more and more popular and commonplace. And of course in that era is was not unusual to lose a child. You could even find some "death photos" on ebay that date back to the early 1900's. I'm an old photo collector but I have yet to buy one of these!

I think taking photos of the deceased is a bit macabre, but to each his own!

Yup. Its also a European thing.....my grandmother is from Italy and its commonplace for her and her peers, what is left of them, to take pics of the deceased in the coffin. Also, that generation usually had the body laid out for viewing in their own homes. I cannot imagine, but I'm also of the mindset that whatever makes the family feel better is a-o.k. by me.

 

[Blondie]

The last funeral on my mother's side of the family, I remember my grandmother taking photos of my great-grandfather in the casket. I don't understand the need to do this.

My DH's side of the family doesn't take photos, not that I'm aware of.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

IF any of you knew me personally you would know I am a font of useless knowledge.

In the late 19 th century they did take death photos but they were not in caskets. They would pose the bodys as in life sitting in a chair. If you saw the movie THE OTHERS with Nicole Kidman, you would see an example of this.

The reason that people held vigil beside the deceased is part of the origin of where the term wake came from. When lead was used for utensils and tankards, it would sometimes raise the levels of lead in a person to the point where they would go into a coma and appear dead. Rather than bury the body immediately, they would sit by it for a day or two waiting for the effects of the lead to wear off and the person to "wake" thus the term and custom arose. Obviously, medical techology was nil

They used to give out what were called morning rings at wakes. The family would wear them for a year in memory of the deceased.

 

[DemonLlama]

The all night vigil in some cultures is tied to the send off of the spirit into the next life and the need to keep at bay any evil spirits that might interfere with the soul.

My dad has told me many stories about his father's generation sitting up all night in the same room of the house with the deceased in the casket, playing dominoes and drinking. Dying was much more a part of life then, I guess, and wasn't hidden away like today.

As for the comatose being buried in the early 19th century was such an issue that belief in vampires was reinforced by the discovery of scratch marks on the interior of a number of caskets that were unearthed for various reasons. The term dead ringer, in fact, is a reference to the practice of tying strings around the buried person's feet or hands that were strung out of the coffin and through the dirt to bells above ground in the cemetary. For the first night an all-night vigil was kept to listen for the bells. In the case of a dead ringer, the person was rescued before enduring suffocation.

More useless knowledge, of course, but interesting useless knowledge!

 

[chrissie123]

Hmmm thanks for that bella the ball/ demon llama.... i`m off to bed now....sweet dreams(i do`nt think)

 

[Catzeyes]

My ex husband was born in El Salvador, they took pictures of anyone in the family that died in their coffins. I had never seen that before coming from Wisconsin. Now that I live in Puerto Rico it is also a common custom, as is being laid out for viewing in your own house. I have seen many funerals in the past 2 years where the dead have been carried through the streets by their familys to either the church or the cemetary. The custom seems to be most popular in the small towns. The other thing that I had never seen till moving here is that the body is covered by a fine lace cloth.

 

[Antonia]

My grandmother lost a son to a motorcycle accident when he was only 19. Someone took pictures and gave them to her. She hated those pictures, but did not want to trash them so they stayed in a box on the top shelf of a closet. It was forbidden to get them down.

 

[popeyeohoh]

but I have an uncle who documents every moment almost to complete compulsion. He took pictures of my aunt (his sister inlaw.) in her casket. Oh not just pictures but video. Just in case she gave a swan song. My other uncle the deceaseds husband and brother to the documentary uncle was none too pleased but felt that if that's what he wanted to do then go right ahead. I don't know if anyone in the family has copies but I would bet they passed on posting those in the family album. I wonder what scrapbookers would recommend for the captions. Sorry but I have had a long day.

 

[safetymom]

popeyeohoh, I thought the same thing when my brother in law took the pictures.

What was he going to do? Offer a picture package of 5x7 and 8x10? Was he going to make T shirts?

We just couldn't understand why he needed to take those pictures. He didn't take pictures of him while he was alive why take them when he was dead?

 

[oogieboogie]

I remember when my grandma died, she was laid on a bed in the middle of my aunt's house in plain view with a just a lace cloth covering her face. She was laid there for 2 days before the funeral, and people would come to the house, pay their respects and stay there sometimes thru the night.

The worst part... since we were out-of-towners at the time, we stayed with my aunt! So there I was, 10 years old, sleeping in the bedroom next to where my dead grandma layed! Talk about nightmares!

And they took tons of pictures... of her laying there, of the funeral, even the preparations of bathing her, dressing her, preparing her body for viewing!