FRUSTRATED with DH, about haircut, can anyone relate?

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by dsnylvr

Last time I went in to get my hair cut I had my head shaved BALD, (I tell ya, having your head bic'ed is a wierd feeling. Walked into the house and my wife FREAKED. Told me she hated it. Told me she couldnt believe I would do that. Said it makes me look like a criminal.

I told her she would get used to it.

I love marriage. 18 years and counting.

HAHAHAHAH - that's too funny!

I'd actually love it if DH came out with a shaved head...love that look.

 

[SnoWhite]

Thanks Josh

And I have to add an "Amen" to your post.

Lisa

 

[KristaTX]

My husband knows what a grouch I turn into if my hair even hints at getting long, and he'd much rather me be happy than be miserable just to suit whatever he wants. Fortunately he likes short hair.

Just give your DH time and don't even discuss the subject again. And whatever you do, don't offer him an invitation to discuss it again by asking him about it. He'll get used to it, and probably will discover that he likes it (especially if you like it).

Personally I think hair is pretty gross in general, and the more there is the grosser it is. (If I get tagged with that, I'm deleting it). I can tell you that I like it, and I've never even seen you before . BTW - I just got a haircut that I'm not sure I like . I'm not sure enough was cut off .

 

[decker96]

When I first got my hair cut shorter, DH didn't like it either (although he didn't ignore me for hours, which is absolutely childish if you ask me). I had grown it out before we got married, so I could get it put up for the wedding and after we got back from our honeymoon, I cut about 6 inches off. He said he liked long hair too (my dad is the same way, by the way). After a couple weeks, he told me he was kind of starting to like my new style.
Over the next 7 years, I kept it about the same length (a little shorter than shoulder length), but changed styles here and there. Last spring when pregnant with our last child, for some reason I decided to grow it out again. Why, right before summer I have no idea, must have been the hormones!!! Anyway, after our youngest DD was born last fall I looked at myself in the mirror one day and said what the heck was I thinking. I went in the next week and got it cut shorter again. When I got home, DH said, I'm so glad you cut it, your long hair was starting to bug me. Go figure! So, maybe after a little while, he'll get used to it and end up liking it. Don't worry, as long as you like it, that's all that matters!

 

[BillSears]

I think he's taking it personally and I understand his point of view. I'm another one of those guys who loves longer hair.

It seems to me that you must have known how he felt about your hair and you decided to heck with what he wants I'm going to do what I want. True it's your hair but he should have some sort of say in the decision. The whole idea of it's mine and I'm going to do whatever I want with it can be taken too far in a relationship.

When I was first married my wife let me know she loved long hair on guys. Even though it wasn't the style I was used to having I let it grow longer to please her. It wasn't much and it made her happy. I can't see intentionally pissing someone off then wondering why they're upset.

 

[RedxPanda]

ouch, mean DH! i can't believe he spent the whole hour like that. You'd think after the initial shock he'd calm down and realize it is just hair. It constantly grows, and a girl has to experiment until she finds just the right hairstyle!

it reminds me of my BF earlier this summer. I spent the summer home , alone and bored! so one day at walmart i decided to get red hair dye. I have dark dark brown hair so i figured some red highlights would be fun and cool. When he came home that night and didn't say anything about it.. i asked if he noticed i gave myself highlights... and he says "oh i thought there was something wrong with your hair"
!??! turns out he didn't realize what he was saying and he doesn't mind them. but i still can't believe he said it looked like something was wrong with it..talk about freudian slip
he should be happy i did it myself and didn't spend 10 x the amount at a salon.

 

[browneyes]

When I was pregnant with my ds, I had my hair cut from midway to waist to right about my ears. My SO didn't talk to me for almost a week. Man, that was a good week.

 

[lucky_bunni]

Originally posted by BillSears
I think he's taking it personally and I understand his point of view. I'm another one of those guys who loves longer hair.

It seems to me that you must have known how he felt about your hair and you decided to heck with what he wants I'm going to do what I want. True it's your hair but he should have some sort of say in the decision. The whole idea of it's mine and I'm going to do whatever I want with it can be taken too far in a relationship.

When I was first married my wife let me know she loved long hair on guys. Even though it wasn't the style I was used to having I let it grow longer to please her. It wasn't much and it made her happy. I can't see intentionally pissing someone off then wondering why they're upset.

I don't think she said anything about intentionally pissing him off. Sure he is entitled to an opinion about what she does, but it's something she has to maintain and live with - it's hers and she has more of a say. It's a stupid thing to be mad about. Guys don't realize, cause few of them ever get to deal with the pains of long hair, how difficult it is to keep it up - especially in the Summer months.

 

[BillSears]

Sorry but to me doing something that you know someone will not like is pretty much intentionally pissing someone off. I'm sure that wasn't her primary reason but she did do it knowing that he wouldn't be happy. Of course this is assuming she knew how he felt about her hair.

If I walk up to a person who I know hates smoking and light up a cigarette then yep I can expect him to be upset with me. If I know my husband likes my long hair and I go get it cut then I would expect him to be upset with me.

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by browneyes
When I was pregnant with my ds, I had my hair cut from midway to waist to right about my ears. My SO didn't talk to me for almost a week. Man, that was a good week.

Shannon!

 

[shortbun]

Spouses are partners. They discuss money, sex, children, love,
and maybe argue about which movie to see. Partners DO NOT
control each other's hair, clothes, make up, bodies, thoughts.
Your husband needs to grow up fast. Saying he liked your hair long better would be not so great but acceptable. Giving you the
cold shoulder is not. Be very wary of how he partners in other
things. Set some rules that you both can live with as partners.
I've been with my DH for 22 years and we NEVER control each other or exhibit this type of behavior; life is too complicated for
it already. Wear your hair however you want and tell him to
get over it -fast. You have nothing to explain, make up for or
feel guilty about. It is your hair-yours and no one elses.

 

[browneyes]

BillSears, I see nothing in the OP's post to warrant that she was intentionally trying to piss off her dh.

Personally, I had my hair cut because of process damage and hormones (I guess I should've mentioned I was 8 months pregnant at the time ). There are times now that I'd be tempted to get it cut again just for the peace and quiet I'd get from my SO. It would be intentionally trying to piss him off if I did it now. But I prefer my hair to be long (and healthy).

 

[CamColt]

Originally posted by Rajah
Disliking your new haircut and letting you know is one thing.

Giving you the cold sholder is something else entirely.

Yup, I'd be upset.

Thats exactly what I was thinking and couldnt word it right.

 

[dsnylvr]

Originally posted by Aimeedyan
[
Am I totally blowing it out of proportion? Does your DH react that way over hairstyles or something equally stupid? What do you do? [/B]

Its not stupid because it has caused hurtful feelings.

Aimeedyan, I, as a man/DH, would like to appologize for your DH's behavior. I do not think that he acted maturely and I am sorry for that, however, I'm sure that seeing you with a haircut that he didnt like was a shock to him and that is why he behaved the way he did. Your post indicates that you felt that changing your hairstyle would make you appear more mature and that is why you did it. Do you not agree that changing your appearance would be a shock to your DH?

As I stated in a early post, I also like long hair on women and when my DW cut it, I was also shocked....and no I STILL dont like it short. Although I love my DW and can appreciate the fact that she wanted a change I dont have to like it. Instead of giving her the cold shoulder and making her feel bad, I decided to play the same game. I changed my hairstyle. And she HATES it. LOL. Now she understands how I felt. Will my DW grow her hair back...I'm not sure, its up to her. Will I grow mine back....already in the process. I guess what I'm trying to say is that hairstyles are a big deal for both parties, its just a shame that you are both upset when you should both be looking forward to a wonderful weekend together. I hope you can both work thru it....sending pixie dust your way.

 

[snoopy]

Well, geez, my DH grows a goatee (see below) every so often, and while I'm not fond of it, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm in SHOCK.

Isn't that a little dramatic? Its only hair.

 

[nativetxn]

In 1999, I got my hair cut for the first time in 22 years. My husband <b><i>hated</i></b> that I cut my hair.

It took him about 3 days before he realized that he really liked my shorter (shoulder length) hair cut.

He got over it and so will your dh. Try to enjoy your anniversary trip.

Katholyn

 

[shortbun]

Originally posted by BillSears
Sorry but to me doing something that you know someone will not like is pretty much intentionally pissing someone off. I'm sure that wasn't her primary reason but she did do it knowing that he wouldn't be happy. Of course this is assuming she knew how he felt about her hair.

If I walk up to a person who I know hates smoking and light up a cigarette then yep I can expect him to be upset with me. If I know my husband likes my long hair and I go get it cut then I would expect him to be upset with me.

I just read the Op-nowhere did the poster say she considered
her husband's feelings or did it knowing that she knew he wouldn't be happy. In fact she was suprised at his reaction.
Some of you guys have amazing egos to think that women think
about you every move we make. It just ain't so gents! And to
play "the same game" and get your head shaved is sooooo immature, I don't even know where to begin. Sorry for the flame
man-bet your old bald head is feelin the heat. We women have
lives and they don't always revolve around our SO. Walk up to
me and light up knowing I don't like smoke and you are gonna
eat your cigarette. Has nothing to do with the style of your hair
pal!

 

[dsnylvr]

Originally posted by snoopy
Well, geez, my DH grows a goatee (see below) every so often, and while I'm not fond of it, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm in SHOCK.

Isn't that a little dramatic? Its only hair.

Hi snoopy, if my DW grew a goatee....yup...SHOCKED would describe it. LOL. And ya...after so many years of seeing her with long pretty hair...I was shocked/surprised to see her with short hair, especially when I didnt expect it.

 

[WDWHound]

Should you husband have respoonded the way he did? No, he was out of line.

Should you have let him know in advance that you were going to do this? Yes, I think so. I'm not saying you needed to ask for permission, but only to give him a heads up on what you planned to do. It would have avoided the shock factor. Its your appearance and you have a right to change it, but its a big enough change that he a least deserved a chance to get used to the idea before it happened. My guess is that, if he knew what you were going to do, his response would have been different.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Originally posted by Aimeedyan
Come home, DH is here for lunch, and he gives me this *look* and then gives me the cold shoulder the entire hour!!!!!!!!

At one point, I asked him what his problem was, because I was in a good mood and feeling good about myself, and he said 'your hair.'

How shallow is that!!!!

I said 'so you're going to treat me like this because I got my hair cut?!' and he said 'for now.'

Only for an hour? Mine didn't speak to me for 2 weeks!! If he did, it was a very brief "yes" or "no", which was fine because I gave him the silent treatment right back...(we were both being childish!) I got mine cut (over a period of about 6 months) shorter and shorter from my waist length hair up to my shoulders. the final chop was from my back up to my shoulders-it looked terrible. The only reason I got past his reaction is that he was absolutely right. It doesn't look good short, it looks better long. I have to say the same as some other poster, though. What is it about men and long hair??