Free Kate

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

20,000 text messages is not a high number for teenagers these days. I'm not sure the photos and videos are out of the norm either.

And I haven't seen this addressed yet...

The dating options for lesbians in high schools is statistically quite low. If 2% of girls are lesbians...there would be 10 in a high school of 1000. Now, not all girls are out at the beginning or even end of high school. Then you have to factor in personal preferences because obviously you wont be attracted to every other person of the gender you are sexually attracted to. So, statistically, the chances of an out lesbian high school student finding someone to date at their school is miniscule. If you had one chance to date during four years of raging hormones while everyone else around you is going through multiple relationships, would the 14-18 age difference matter in the scheme of things? Granted, my math will be off because obviously some girls are bi and some experiment...but the numbers are still pretty grim.

I still do not know of any other lesbians that went to my high school. Gays, yes...but not lesbians.

There were five lesbian students at my college of 6000. None were "out" and two of them arrived as a couple. Everyone but me was over 40. One was still married and had kids.

I was the only "out" student at my Catholic college later on of somewhere near 2,500. There were about 30 gays who were out to at least one other gay guy but zero lesbians (besides me) that were out to anyone in the GBLTQ community on campus...though I suspected there were some that weren't out to even themselves yet. There were two lesbians who were a couple and graduated the year before I arrived.

It seems a whole lot easier to tell a straight person to move on to a more age appropriate dating partner than a lesbian in this situation, because there just aren't other lesbians to date at school.

It would be nice if teens and parents knew these challenges early on so that there could be open and honest discussions about healthy dating. 14-18 seems awfully far apart IMO, but in order to stop something like that, there needs to be a healthy replacement.

I am empathetic to the emotional health of young gays and lesbians and to the isolation that many feel, but your argument is a cop-out in my opinion. By your logic, an awkward 18 year old boy could prey on a 14 year old girl if he cannot find a "healthy replacement" his own age. Lots of people of all ages cannot find a mate to date, but they aren't allowed to engage in certain acts with 14 year old children just because they are lonely.

I have no doubt this couple believed they were "in love," just as all teenagers think they are in love with their boy/girlfriends, but once the older girl was made acutely aware of the law, charged with a crime, and especially once she agreed to stay away from the younger girl while pending trial, she lost any credibility to claim victimhood, in my opinion and called into question her mindset all along when she sent 20,000 distinct messages, however brief, to the person she was told not to contact.

 

[Tomader]

Too much today is becoming acceptable. If I was the parent's of the younger girl I would be upset. It would not matter if it was a boy or a girl. What I see in this world today makes me glad my kids are older.

 

[mhfrau]

I had a huge amount of sympathy when the story first came out. We are local, and it was the big story forever. But, when I read the excerpts of the court documents showing how Kaitlyn's mom, Kelly, even contacted the younger girl back in March and told her to shut up and delete everything, all of her credibility went right out the door.

Now, knowing that after she was let out on bail, and continued to contact the girl, with her own parent's knowledge and approval, sent her naked pics, ************ pics and even met up for consensual sex up till 2 weeks ago, I just think that her little behind should be put in jail. Whether the case was ridiculous or not from the beginning is not material at this point, it's now a question of not following terms of bail, and that should not be allowed.

Plus, I find what Kelly (the mother) is doing also wrong. It is not up to her to decide and tell another kid what she should or should not be doing. If I was the girl's parent, I would be seeking charges against her for aiding her daughter in committing a crime.

 

[luvsJack]

20,000 text messages is not a high number for teenagers these days. I'm not sure the photos and videos are out of the norm either.

20,000 text is a pretty high number from one teen to another, even in a relationship. And the photos and videos happen, I have no doubt, but that doesn't make then in the norm.

Besides, at this point, regardless of reasons, she should have stopped. She is obsessed.

 

[Burnedout]

That girl is screwed up. She should go to jail for the same amount of time a young man would for raping a younger person. Because that is what it was.

 

[lizzi6692]

20,000 text is a pretty high number from one teen to another, even in a relationship. And the photos and videos happen, I have no doubt, but that doesn't make then in the norm.

Besides, at this point, regardless of reasons, she should have stopped. She is obsessed.

20,000 texts is not a lot. When my husband and I first started dating we would have more than 10,000 texts between us in a month and the 20,000 texts was over the course of a few months. I don't disagree that after being charged she should have stopped, but the numbers of texts is not the outrageous number some people think it is.

 

[Burnedout]

20,000 texts is not a lot. When my husband and I first started dating we would have more than 10,000 texts between us in a month and the 20,000 texts was over the course of a few months. I don't disagree that after being charged she should have stopped, but the numbers of texts is not the outrageous number some people think it is.

Lol, just because you did the same doesn't mean it isn't outrageous. Even if you assume 50 days worth that is 400 a day. Ridiculous.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

20,000 texts is not a lot. When my husband and I first started dating we would have more than 10,000 texts between us in a month and the 20,000 texts was over the course of a few months. I don't disagree that after being charged she should have stopped, but the numbers of texts is not the outrageous number some people think it is.

2 texts is a lot when you have a restraining order against someone.

20,000 might be OK between two consenting individuals who are having a relationship. This woman was court ordered to have no contact, in that context 20,000 is ridiculous.

I had a great deal of sympathy in the beginning, especially given that the Romeo and Juliet law seems like it should apply. But once the restraining order was in place she needed to respect that.

 

[Burnedout]

A 14 year old is not an equal to an 18 year old. Were it 17 and 18 there might be some validity to Romeo and Juliet.

This isn't about sexual orientation but cohesion and power. A relationship isn't a need but a want. And if you actually cared about the younger person you'd restrain yourself until they grew up. Otherwise it is bit only illegal it is creepy.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

A 14 year old is not an equal to an 18 year old. Were it 17 and 18 there might be some validity to Romeo and Juliet.

This isn't about sexual orientation but cohesion and power. A relationship isn't a need but a want. And if you actually cared about the younger person you'd restrain yourself until they grew up. Otherwise it is bit only illegal it is creepy.

Is it correct that the age difference was such that the R and J clause would have applied for a straight couple? If so, I think the law should be the same -- gay or straight. I can see arguing that a 3+ year difference is too much for R & J for anyone, but it should be equally applied.

 

[luvsJack]

20,000 texts is not a lot. When my husband and I first started dating we would have more than 10,000 texts between us in a month and the 20,000 texts was over the course of a few months. I don't disagree that after being charged she should have stopped, but the numbers of texts is not the outrageous number some people think it is.

Good heavens. DD would be sending the boy in the other direction if he tried to talk to her that much! I guess everyone is different but that would drive me (and dd) nuts.

 

[luvsJack]

A 14 year old is not an equal to an 18 year old. Were it 17 and 18 there might be some validity to Romeo and Juliet.

This isn't about sexual orientation but cohesion and power. A relationship isn't a need but a want. And if you actually cared about the younger person you'd restrain yourself until they grew up. Otherwise it is bit only illegal it is creepy.

That depends on the 14 and 18 year old. Dd has talked to a couple of boys that are 18. She just turned 15. Now, she isn't having sex with any of them, but their age does not make her feel they have any power over her.

I do agree that this girl, in this case, is obsessed with the younger girl and I think she does need some intervention and counseling about this but I don't think that is the case with all relationships with this age difference.

 

[robinb]

Now, knowing that after she was let out on bail, and continued to contact the girl, with her own parent's knowledge and approval, sent her naked pics, ************ pics and even met up for consensual sex up till 2 weeks ago, I just think that her little behind should be put in jail. Whether the case was ridiculous or not from the beginning is not material at this point, it's now a question of not following terms of bail, and that should not be allowed.

I missed that part. Ugh.

Plus, I find what Kelly (the mother) is doing also wrong. It is not up to her to decide and tell another kid what she should or should not be doing. If I was the girl's parent, I would be seeking charges against her for aiding her daughter in committing a crime.

I felt that way the whole time. Who condones their 18-year old High School senior dating a 14-year old freshman? Frankly, I believe that Kelly has been part of the problem from the start.

OTOH, the younger girl's parents are not blameless either. They allowed their daughter to have too long of a rope an she got into trouble. And I say this as more of a "free range" kind of parent. Not only did she run away and sneak around and have a relationship behind their backs, but she continued that relationship (complete with sexual encounters, it appears) after her girlfriend was arrested. Why wasn't her iPad and phone monitored? Why didn't they check up on where she was going? She was a known sneak and liar.

 

[ronandannette]

OTOH, the younger girl's parents are not blameless either. They allowed their daughter to have too long of a rope an she got into trouble. And I say this as more of a "free range" kind of parent. Not only did she run away and sneak around and have a relationship behind their backs, but she continued that relationship (complete with sexual encounters, it appears) after her girlfriend was arrested. Why wasn't her iPad and phone monitored? Why didn't they check up on where she was going? She was a known sneak and liar.

I couldn't agree more with you...this should have been dealt with in a MAJOR way as a discipline issue within the 14 y.o.'s household. And being as all these activities have gone on with the "victim" as a willing participant, has she been made aware that her own actions have put the person she claims to "love" at huge risk for life-altering legal repercussions? Yet another reason that 14 y.o.'s are generally not mature enough to be engaged in serious relationships and therefore cannot legally give consent.

 

[luvsJack]

Here's the thing, though, imo. Either she is a victim or she isn't. If she was made to feel powerless to Kate and manipulated into this relationship then she is a victim. If she made these choices on her own without feeling powerless or manipulated or any of that, then she is not a victim.

If she isn't a victim at all, if she has pursued Kate at all or made to feel blameless; then there is more of an issue here than Kate. She and her parents are as much to blame as Kate and I am not so sure Kate's jail time is going to really do anything.

With the videos and the text messages and the contact after being ordered not to, I think Kate needs counseling and maybe even jail time. But I think that the 14 year old may need counseling too. And I hope that the 14 year old's parents are not assuming that Kate going to jail is going to solve their child's problems. They may find it is their daughter that is seeking out the relationship she has with Kate, that it is she who is pursuing. It would be very sad if this is the case and another teen's life is ruined because of her problems.

 

[ronandannette]

Here's the thing, though, imo. Either she is a victim or she isn't. If she was made to feel powerless to Kate and manipulated into this relationship then she is a victim. If she made these choices on her own without feeling powerless or manipulated or any of that, then she is not a victim.
If she isn't a victim at all, if she has pursued Kate at all or made to feel blameless; then there is more of an issue here than Kate. She and her parents are as much to blame as Kate and I am not so sure Kate's jail time is going to really do anything.

With the videos and the text messages and the contact after being ordered not to, I think Kate needs counseling and maybe even jail time. But I think that the 14 year old may need counseling too. And I hope that the 14 year old's parents are not assuming that Kate going to jail is going to solve their child's problems. They may find it is their daughter that is seeking out the relationship she has with Kate, that it is she who is pursuing. It would be very sad if this is the case and another teen's life is ruined because of her problems.

This is likely truthful, but the fact still remains that a legally-responsible adult willfully and repeatedly broke the law. That's what this case comes down to in the end.

 

[PaulaSB12]

This is likely truthful, but the fact still remains that a legally-responsible adult willfully and repeatedly broke the law. That's what this case comes down to in the end.

Not only broke the law continued after being told to keep away from her. I cant see her lawyer telling her to ignore it. Plus the mother told the girl to delete all messages after as well. So because of the older girl's arrogance both she and her mother are now going to be in trouble.

 

[Burnedout]

Here's the thing, though, imo. Either she is a victim or she isn't. If she was made to feel powerless to Kate and manipulated into this relationship then she is a victim. If she made these choices on her own without feeling powerless or manipulated or any of that, then she is not a victim.

If she isn't a victim at all, if she has pursued Kate at all or made to feel blameless; then there is more of an issue here than Kate. She and her parents are as much to blame as Kate and I am not so sure Kate's jail time is going to really do anything.

With the videos and the text messages and the contact after being ordered not to, I think Kate needs counseling and maybe even jail time. But I think that the 14 year old may need counseling too. And I hope that the 14 year old's parents are not assuming that Kate going to jail is going to solve their child's problems. They may find it is their daughter that is seeking out the relationship she has with Kate, that it is she who is pursuing. It would be very sad if this is the case and another teen's life is ruined because of her problems.

Most victims in these situations don't "feel" powerless because they are getting something in return. That is part of the power. There is guilt and connection. It is the same thing that makes women stay in abusive relationships

 

[moon]

Here's the thing, though, imo. Either she is a victim or she isn't. If she was made to feel powerless to Kate and manipulated into this relationship then she is a victim. If she made these choices on her own without feeling powerless or manipulated or any of that, then she is not a victim.

If she isn't a victim at all, if she has pursued Kate at all or made to feel blameless; then there is more of an issue here than Kate. She and her parents are as much to blame as Kate and I am not so sure Kate's jail time is going to really do anything.

With the videos and the text messages and the contact after being ordered not to, I think Kate needs counseling and maybe even jail time. But I think that the 14 year old may need counseling too. And I hope that the 14 year old's parents are not assuming that Kate going to jail is going to solve their child's problems. They may find it is their daughter that is seeking out the relationship she has with Kate, that it is she who is pursuing. It would be very sad if this is the case and another teen's life is ruined because of her problems.

I doubt the 14 y.o was the one doing the pursuing, since it was Kate who put the IPad on the younger girl's locker, and she was the one who sent 20,000 texts.

 

[Burnedout]

I doubt the 14 y.o was the one doing the pursuing, since it was Kate who put the IPad on the younger girl's locker, and she was the one who sent 20,000 texts.

It also doesn't matter who pursued. The adult is responsible for saying "no."