FRANCE WITHDRAWS SUPPORT FROM JERRY LEWIS
US Offers Bulgaria $30 Billion to Hail Nutty Professor as Work of Genius
In a sign of the deepening rift between France and the United States, France today announced that it was withdrawing its support from the actor/comedian Jerry Lewis.
As a nation, from this day forth we will no longer consider Jerry Lewis a comic genius, said French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin. Nor will we be pressured into thinking he is funny.
For years, France had isolated itself by being the only country in NATO to hail such Lewis films as The Nutty Professor and The Bellboy as sublime achievements of a brilliant comic mind.
But by withdrawing its support from Jerry Lewis now, the nation that has long sustained the reputation not only of Mr. Lewis but also of the unshaven actor Mickey Rourke is sending a strong signal that it will no longer be seduced by Americas dubious cultural icons.
If I were Madonna I would be very, very concerned right now, said Dr. Henri Broyard, an observer of the French cultural scene.
At the White House, aides to President Bush were taking the French announcement in stride, expressing confidence that they would soon find another nation to celebrate the work of Jerry Lewis.
While reports indicated that the Administration was prepared to pay Bulgaria $30 billion to recognize the genius of the star of Cinderfella, there was some surprise that Britains Tony Blair had not offered to embrace Mr. Lewiss art.
Reportedly, Mr. Blair fears that several of his key Ministers, already upset by his position on Iraq, would tender their resignations immediately if Mr. Blair said he thought Jerry Lewis was funny.
****BOROWITZ REPORT****
US Offers Bulgaria $30 Billion to Hail Nutty Professor as Work of Genius
In a sign of the deepening rift between France and the United States, France today announced that it was withdrawing its support from the actor/comedian Jerry Lewis.
As a nation, from this day forth we will no longer consider Jerry Lewis a comic genius, said French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin. Nor will we be pressured into thinking he is funny.
For years, France had isolated itself by being the only country in NATO to hail such Lewis films as The Nutty Professor and The Bellboy as sublime achievements of a brilliant comic mind.
But by withdrawing its support from Jerry Lewis now, the nation that has long sustained the reputation not only of Mr. Lewis but also of the unshaven actor Mickey Rourke is sending a strong signal that it will no longer be seduced by Americas dubious cultural icons.
If I were Madonna I would be very, very concerned right now, said Dr. Henri Broyard, an observer of the French cultural scene.
At the White House, aides to President Bush were taking the French announcement in stride, expressing confidence that they would soon find another nation to celebrate the work of Jerry Lewis.
While reports indicated that the Administration was prepared to pay Bulgaria $30 billion to recognize the genius of the star of Cinderfella, there was some surprise that Britains Tony Blair had not offered to embrace Mr. Lewiss art.
Reportedly, Mr. Blair fears that several of his key Ministers, already upset by his position on Iraq, would tender their resignations immediately if Mr. Blair said he thought Jerry Lewis was funny.
****BOROWITZ REPORT****
