Foster Parents

[Hillbeans]

Is anyone on the DIS a foster parent? How did you decide to get involved with the program, and how does it work exactly?

I would appreciate any information, positive and negative please.

 

[crazelion]

I got invovled in being a foster parent because my mom became one. I am not really doing foster care I am during what they called resting parent care. Basicly is you kept the foster child when the foster parents need a break.

In our state there is a class called PATH that you take to become a foster parent. Then have take 15 hours a year to stay certifed as a foster parent.

In our state you have your fingerprinting done and go thourgh a background check.

You will have a room and bed for the foster child to sleep in. I know that seem like common sense. But would not beilve in my class how many parents was have the kids sleep on the sofa.

The foster care worker will come to your house to see if have room for a foster child before they put one in your home.

Me and Mom got involved to help kids get all the love that they need growing up.

If have anymore questions PM and I will trying to answer them.

 

[stm61]

hillbeans,
I'm also in NJ and was a foster parent for yrs before being forced to quit when I was placed on active duty. Look in the phone book for the # for DYFS (Div of Youth and Family Services). Each county has an office, I think the bigger urban areas might have more then one. They will have social workers who do nothing except recruit and train foster parents. Call the local, or they also have an 800 #, and they will put you in contact with your local recruiter. They will schedule you for an informational class that explains the requirements and the different types of foster care programs. After that you fill out about 10,000 forms and are scheduled for training classes. They usually have them several times a yr at various times (evenings, days, wkends) to accomadate different work schedules. You get fingerprinted, background checked, and family home visited. Last I heard they were contracted out to another agency to do the home visits. They will also measure the bedrooms and tell you how many kids can sleep in the rooms. They had quit doing this yrs ago when they discovered rich people with huge houses rarely do foster care and most people's rms didn't measure up, but the outside agency apparently brought it back. One hint, make sure ALL your trash cans, including the kitchen one, have lids. Don't have a clue why that is so important but it is. After all that is done and you're approved they will start calling with kids that they think you might take. Last time I looked into it, it was averaging about a yr to get approved and they were having major problems with potential foster parents getting fed up with the waiting and quitting. That was about 3 yrs ago so hopefully they're gotten better.
Sorry this is so long! Any questions my email is LSMKT5@aol.com

 

[nativetxn]

Although being in a foster home was the saddest time in my life, my foster parents were wonderful and caring people. I came to love them very much.

I have thought that I would like to be a foster parent but I don't know if I could tolerate the pain of having to give the child up eventually.

I think foster parents are to be admired and I'm very proud of you for considering taking on a task such as this.

Katholyn

 

[HollyNEd]

DH and I are foster parents and even after the week from you know where this week I wouldn't trade it for the world! We have been foster parents for a little over a year now and have had many placements until Feb when Pugsley and Princessa came along. We are now in the process of adopting them! Yes dealing with the state will drive you nuts but also knowing you are helping a child who really needs someone right now makes it all worth while
Also just be prepared for anything when it comes to foster kids. We thought we could handle anything till it happens and then you realize you have no clue. Also make sure to ask for help from the social workers if you need it because that is what they are there for.
If you want to talk or have any more questions feel free to PM me

 

[Hillbeans]

Thank you everyone for the heartfelt and honest replies.

I'm still not sure in what direction we'll go as a family, however this is something i've thought about before and may at one time consider.

 

[Serena]

I thought about it and looked into it too. But realized my house isn't big enough and my h, at the time, really didn't want to.

 

[nealymouse]

Going on my 12th year as a Foster parent for the State of Maine.
We have adopted 3 of our foster daughters. 2 did not want to be adopted they are sisters. One still lives at home one lives on her own (Ya right she rents from my brother LOL).

Its the hardest job I have even done. There have been days I want to throw in the towel and stop. There are days when I see one of my children, bio, adopted, foster look at me and know at that moment I am the best Mom in the world and thank God my DH and I decided to go this route with our lives.

My family has been very open to us being foster parents, My Dh family it was harder. They did not except our children intill they saw our adult birth children treat them like little sisters. If asked my adult sons will tell you they have 5 little sisters who they adore !!!!

It can be very hard. Children come into Foster care with lots of problems. Some you can cure with love others take years and years of good therpists to help over come.

I had one little girl who we had to have moved because her dream was to eat chocolate and sneek into my bedroom at night and stab me in the head with a knife and watch my brains bleed all over the pillow. Yes you read that right. It was such an abused child by her birth mom that she could not except a woman who could be kind to her.

PM me if you would like. I speak in public about Foster and Adopted children. My oldest adopted DD is speaking Nov 6th for the 1st time in public about adoption. Like Mother like DD LOL.