Foster Parents

[ellie05]

DH and I always wanted to be foster parents, it is something we have consider for a long time now. Soon we will be moving and we are thinking on starting the process. My question is how much out of our budget should be plan to put aside for this. I know that we will get some money for the kids expenses but would this cover all the expenses? I know we will have to buy the initial stuff like strollers, beds, etc. Any other cost that we should consider? We just want to make sure that financially we are prepared for this next step.

 

[Gracie09]

It varies by state and if you use a private agency vs the state. We used a private agency and were reimbursed for reasonable clothing expenses and any medical we may have had out of pocket. We received about $13 a day for each child in out care. That was to cover food, diapers, any extras like soccer or hair cuts etc. it also was to cover formula if you didn't sign up for wic. If you have an infant, sign up for wic. We also were reimburse travel expenses for visits, doctors appts and even for driving to the special needs preschool in town.

Basically furniture, vacations, extra birthday/Christmas presents, memberships to local places like the zoo or community pool were not covered but usually those places had a family rate we paid.

Our state pays more (around $33 a day) but you are expected to pay for clothing out of that. Since most foster children come with very little ( one girl I cared for didn't even have shoes at 2 1/2) that can be a large expense. When you are approved and decide on an age range, I would get the word out and people tend to want to donate clothes to you so you can at least have a small stash of a variety of sizes.

 

[Gracie09]

Oh and car seats. Usually the state or agency will provide one if you need it but I like having one or two of my own that I know the history or and that it fits well in my car

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

You really have to be committed to what you might get yourself into. I worked in our children services dept and can say those kids come with a lot of problems.
We had a kid who was a pyromaniac yep loved fire and set his foster home on fire. A girl bet up her foster mother. The kid who would not use the toilet. These are just a few examples. A lot of our kids were in our custody because they had parents who did drugs therefore the kid was born with the addiction. And 99% of them have mental health issues so you will be the one to take them to their weekly counseling sessions. The state will pay for the medical/mental health care.

So think hard about wanting to foster.

You must also take a certain number of foster parenting classes before you a child can be placed in your care along with the home inspections, back ground checks for your family. If you plan on having a family member or friend that will be babysitting they to have to go thru the a background check and home inspection. You must also take a certain number of refresher courses to keep you foster care license.

 

[RobynPrincess]

What nice people you are, i'm sure you will make great foster parents x

 

[ellie05]

You really have to be committed to what you might get yourself into. I worked in our children services dept and can say those kids come with a lot of problems.
We had a kid who was a pyromaniac yep loved fire and set his foster home on fire. A girl bet up her foster mother. The kid who would not use the toilet. These are just a few examples. A lot of our kids were in our custody because they had parents who did drugs therefore the kid was born with the addiction. And 99% of them have mental health issues so you will be the one to take them to their weekly counseling sessions. The state will pay for the medical/mental health care.

So think hard about wanting to foster.

You must also take a certain number of foster parenting classes before you a child can be placed in your care along with the home inspections, back ground checks for your family. If you plan on having a family member or friend that will be babysitting they to have to go thru the a background check and home inspection. You must also take a certain number of refresher courses to keep you foster care license.

I know the steps and we know why these kids are in custody. As I said before we have though about this for a long time. I must say thought while it is good to paint a realistic picture I think this post it is very negative. Yes those children have issues, but it is not their fault. To paint them all with one stroke it is very very sad.

I wanted this thread to be specifically about the financial part. We have read the horror stories already and also the good stories. So please everyone stay on topic.

 

[ellie05]

It varies by state and if you use a private agency vs the state. We used a private agency and were reimbursed for reasonable clothing expenses and any medical we may have had out of pocket. We received about $13 a day for each child in out care. That was to cover food, diapers, any extras like soccer or hair cuts etc. it also was to cover formula if you didn't sign up for wic. If you have an infant, sign up for wic. We also were reimburse travel expenses for visits, doctors appts and even for driving to the special needs preschool in town.

Basically furniture, vacations, extra birthday/Christmas presents, memberships to local places like the zoo or community pool were not covered but usually those places had a family rate we paid.

Our state pays more (around $33 a day) but you are expected to pay for clothing out of that. Since most foster children come with very little ( one girl I cared for didn't even have shoes at 2 1/2) that can be a large expense. When you are approved and decide on an age range, I would get the word out and people tend to want to donate clothes to you so you can at least have a small stash of a variety of sizes.

Thanks this was very helpful

 

[Jaime4004]

DH and I always wanted to be foster parents, it is something we have consider for a long time now. Soon we will be moving and we are thinking on starting the process. My question is how much out of our budget should be plan to put aside for this. I know that we will get some money for the kids expenses but would this cover all the expenses? I know we will have to buy the initial stuff like strollers, beds, etc. Any other cost that we should consider? We just want to make sure that financially we are prepared for this next step.

It's something we are thinking about also! Mind if I add questions? I'm wondering if you can take the kids out of state for vacations? I'm sure if it's a yes, there's quite a process involved, but i'm wondering if it is allowed at all...

 

[ellie05]

It's something we are thinking about also! Mind if I add questions? I'm wondering if you can take the kids out of state for vacations? I'm sure if it's a yes, there's quite a process involved, but i'm wondering if it is allowed at all...

Please go ahead add as many questions as you'll like. Just keep it positive. I asked about that before. You need to get permission to do it.

 

[Gracie09]

It's something we are thinking about also! Mind if I add questions? I'm wondering if you can take the kids out of state for vacations? I'm sure if it's a yes, there's quite a process involved, but i'm wondering if it is allowed at all...

Yes you can but sometimes depending on how the foster care came about, you may have to get permission from the birth parents and if they don't give it you are stuck. We had a situation when a birth mother refused permission for our foster daughter to travel to Disney with us until a week before we were to leave. It was very stressful. If you foster through the state there is usually a way to get a judge to grant permission but they don't always and sometime case workers don't want to bother them with "trivial" matters

 

[Jaime4004]

Yes you can but sometimes depending on how the foster care came about, you may have to get permission from the birth parents and if they don't give it you are stuck. We had a situation when a birth mother refused permission for our foster daughter to travel to Disney with us until a week before we were to leave. It was very stressful. If you foster through the state there is usually a way to get a judge to grant permission but they don't always and sometime case workers don't want to bother them with "trivial" matters

Great thanks, that makes sense...
Being a disney board, our lives do tend to center around vacations

 

[bianca]

You really have to be committed to what you might get yourself into. I worked in our children services dept and can say those kids come with a lot of problems.
We had a kid who was a pyromaniac yep loved fire and set his foster home on fire. A girl bet up her foster mother. The kid who would not use the toilet. These are just a few examples. A lot of our kids were in our custody because they had parents who did drugs therefore the kid was born with the addiction. And 99% of them have mental health issues so you will be the one to take them to their weekly counseling sessions. The state will pay for the medical/mental health care.

So think hard about wanting to foster.

You must also take a certain number of foster parenting classes before you a child can be placed in your care along with the home inspections, back ground checks for your family. If you plan on having a family member or friend that will be babysitting they to have to go thru the a background check and home inspection. You must also take a certain number of refresher courses to keep you foster care license.[\QUOTE]


I cannot let this poster be the lone voice of dissent on this subject, as we are former foster parents that ultimately adopted from the system. EVERY single thing Shellie addressed is true to our experience. The 99% with mental health issues ..... yep ..... real. The volume of parenting/informational classes that you are required to take as a FP is simply mind-numbing. When you factor in that you have to have someone qualified watch your foster child while you are attending all these classes, it becomes increasingly difficult to parent. Your "good friend" is no longer your good friend after they watch your child a few times. The list goes on.

While I applaud your incentive to good for the world (I was once on the same page), there are no guarantees. If you have other children in the house, I would run as quickly in the opposite direction as possible. Our little darlin' has tried to kill our pets, tried to kill other children, stabbed teachers, tried to burn our house down ..... and that is the short list. She is now 20 yo and all of 4'9", so size is irrelevant.

Here is my reality .......... we adopted our daughter at the age of 7 after fostering for almost two years. To say that she came with issues is an understatement, but all these kids do ..... otherwise, they'd be with their real parents. After 8 years of heavy-duty parenting/therapy and 10 trips to WDW, we eventually got a caregiver for her while we vacationed without her, as she was doing her darndest to ruin the family. She is now 20 and my day today will be spent acquiring the proper psychiatric doctor in my quest to get her set up on the government dole. She has no intention of ever working, doesn't do anything for herself or others, and is simply a drain on our family after MANY missed opportunities. According to all the standardized tests and teachers, she in the top 25% of everything and reads at a college level. I am simply out of options, she must go, and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. I could go on and on and on, but will spare you all the ugly details. Shellie summed it all up quite nicely.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I know the steps and we know why these kids are in custody. As I said before we have though about this for a long time. I must say thought while it is good to paint a realistic picture I think this post it is very negative. Yes those children have issues, but it is not their fault. To paint them all with one stroke it is very very sad.

I wanted this thread to be specifically about the financial part. We have read the horror stories already and also the good stories. So please everyone stay on topic.

The post is factual.
What I stated is what we actually encountered in our agency. It does point out the financial aspects of being a foster parent. IE: the ruined carpet/ bedding/ furniture from the kid who would not use the toilet. The fact that you will have to take time out of your schedule weekly to take kids to mental health appoints. The damage done from the fire the kid set. The foster parent who had adopted the girl who beat her - the foster parent then had the adoption terminated and the child returned to us a the court ordered the foster parent to pay us child support for her till the child turned 18.

I just wanted to give you the point of view from someone who worked in the agency.

 

[bianca]

2

 

[bianca]

3

 

[MSSANDRA]

Every agency is different. In our county the average for a child is 400.00/mo. All medical needs are covered under Medicaid and therapy is also covered and the majority of children do receive some type of care. Day care can be covered and there are vouchers given for clothing allowance when the child is placed. We are very blessed to be in a county that really supports these children. There is a program sponsored by local churches that collects all sorts of things foster parents and newly reunified families need and gives these to these people.Clothes, beds, baby equipment,; both new and used. They try to keep a supply of diapers, wipes, formula,etc too. All foster children in our county under 5 qualify for wic as well. There are organizations that do nice things like pay for school pictures , trips, sports etc. If your county is much like ours, you could support your child without a lot of out of pocket expenses if you choose to use these items and services.

Taking children out of state varies too. In our state, the insurance provided for these children does not include care out of our state and to take the child you must provide insurance on your own and the social worker must obtain permission from the court. I have never known it to involve bio-parents but I certainly do not know everything about our system.

good luck and God bless your new family.

 

[Deffenm]

First of all I wanted to say thank you for wanting to be a foster parent. We are the proud parents of 3 children that we adopted from the foster care systems in our state. They have made huge strides but when they were younger (3 years & 7 years old) we had to make a lot of modifications/sacrifices. If you plan to foster only babies you won't have to worry about many of the items listed below. Our children were 3, 3, and 7 when they moved in with us and they are now 10, 13, 14. They have come a long way and I am so blessed that we were picked to be their parents. I have learned so much about the mental health profession and special education (Individual Education Plan) processes then I ever thought possible.

We did not foster to adopt we did straight adoption but I wanted to share some insights from an expense perspective.

Home study: be prepared to child proof your home, add extra smoke detectors and fire extenquishers. I am not sure if this state specific but when we had our fire inspection I was surprised we needed to add a smoke detector to our cathedral celing since our home was a new build but we had to.

Home: Your home will get trashed. I don't mean to be harsh. I love my children but they all have some type of mental health/behavioral issue and our house has been destroyed. Biological kids can trash a home as well so this can happen with all kids. We also had to install a door alarm for one of our boys as he would cause issues at night.

Pets: If you have pets please make sure that you know for sure that the child can be around pets. Our DD had issues with pets when she was younger and we could not have them. She is now 10 and we have a dog and she loves animals but when she was younger she would hurt animals. An expense we had to pay if she hurt someone elses pets.

Damages: If your foster child steals or destroys property you will most likely have to make restitution so that is also an expense.

Medical: One of our sons wears glasses. The state pays for one pair however he would go through 2-3 pairs a year. He can not see without them so we had to pay for the other pairs ourselves which cost over $300 due to his prescription. So you may want to check to make sure what is exactly covered.

We were able to take our kids out of state (before they were officially adopted), we needed written permission from their case workers since the parental rights were terminated.

 

[wendow]

Every agency is different. In our county the average for a child is 400.00/mo. All medical needs are covered under Medicaid and therapy is also covered and the majority of children do receive some type of care. Day care can be covered and there are vouchers given for clothing allowance when the child is placed. We are very blessed to be in a county that really supports these children. There is a program sponsored by local churches that collects all sorts of things foster parents and newly reunified families need and gives these to these people.Clothes, beds, baby equipment,; both new and used. They try to keep a supply of diapers, wipes, formula,etc too. All foster children in our county under 5 qualify for wic as well. There are organizations that do nice things like pay for school pictures , trips, sports etc. If your county is much like ours, you could support your child without a lot of out of pocket expenses if you choose to use these items and services.

We have not fostered though it is something we would consider at some point. We have had many friends who have fostered and almost all ended in adoption. The above experience is more of what I have seen too. About $350 a month per child and everything covered in terms of medical (including therapies). Our friends were gifted all the baby gear they needed and all the clothing/shoes. There was very little OOP.

Fwiw, I have seen some wonderful families formed through fostering. I know there are some bad situations too and that breaks my heart to read about. All children deserve to be loved and have a family

 

[AidensMommy3]

My mom worked with children in the system for years on child abuse and neglect cases. Although she would never tell me specific details I gathered enough information to consider our home life very blessed.

One thing I do now and encourage others to do is to find your local child protective services office and donate a simple bag or suitcase with things children would like ( books, journals, crayons, pillows, a small blanket) . A lot of the times these kids leave their old home with nothing. If they are lucky enough to have a few items, they are in a garbage bag. No kid should have to carry their stuff in a trash bag.

 

[quentina]

we had 2 foster children who we ended up adopting

As far as expenses, there was a small stipend involved. Many feel it is enough however; I will tell you we spent much more. We treated the kids as though they were ours from day one. If the stipend didn't pay for something, we did. They never did without due to the stipend. I say this because many don't feel the same way we did. Our's went on cruises/family vacations with us, did dance, went to preschool etc. Too be honest, the preschool bill took 90% of the monthly stipend.

I think a lot has to do with your family routine. We are heavy weekend people. Always at movies, shopping etc. So, we tend to spend a bit more. If we settled down, maybe the stipend would have covered the expenses--not really sure as I never did the math.