Formal Apology to All

[LuvOrlando]

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[heatherfeather24]

This one is SO ready for closing!

But...there are a lot of great ideas from people who aren't too busy bickering at each other to keep on topic.

Yay to Cleo for not closing!

I am getting so many great ideas from people. Now if only my pregnant brain will remember them a few years from now when I actually need them.

 

[Gregg]

I'm in the minority, but here goes.

OP-- I'm sorry that your little one didn't have a magical time at Disney. I can sympathize with how miserable the meltdowns made all of you.

However, I think this thread was really an attempt for you to try to cleanse your conscience for behavior that you know was selfish (restaurant incident). If you REALLY are sincere in feeling sorry about what happened, you would have taken your child outside while DH collected the food, or AT A MINIMUM, apologized to the patrons at HH, rather than rationalizing your behavior and then making an apology to an anonymous discussion board.

I just get tired of the direction our society seems to be going. Everyone seems to have such a sense of entitlement-- as if the world was put here for their exclusive enjoyment, and to heck with everyone else. People act selfish or inconsiderate of others, and instead of correcting the situation when they can, they throw out an apology later and that 'magically' makes everything Okey-Dokey. Apologies are a wonderful thing, but they should be reserved for heartfelt, sincere regret when a situation COULD NOT be fixed. Apologies are not a blanket free pass so you can act as you want and then 'fix' it later.

Again, I'm sorry that your family had a rough go of it at Disney, but I do think that you were being selfish.

Just my 2 cents. Carry on.

Completely agree. Common courtesy is a lost art these days, as I guess is good parenting. We have 4 kids and it wouldn't have been a tough decision at all -- one or both of us would have taken the kid outside. And kicking the airline seat in front of her? Um, no way.

 

[Frankiesmom]

Thank you Luvorlando! You are so right! Until any of us is perfect and have perfect kids we should all do unto eachother. Angel

 

[DaisyD]

Thank you Luvorlando! You are so right! Until any of us is perfect and have perfect kids we should all do unto eachother. Angel

And that means making sure your not so perfect child doesn't disturb others. We all have not so perfect children when it comes to meltdowns. What we as parents do to control the situation is what counts.

 

[LuvOrlando]

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[DaisyD]

I don't think anyone here is advocating meltdowns from their kids. Actually, I don't think I've ever met a parent who enjoys them so I'm doubtful there are many parents out there who don't TRY and control the situation.

As I see it the bigger issue here is tolerence.

I see the bigger issue as common sense. It is common sense to take a child away from a place that is disturbing others. I'd be outright embarrassed and ashamed to allow my child to have a screaming fit while people are trying to eat.

 

[weeluvdisney]

To the OP:
I wish you never would have apologized because you certainly don't owe anyone an apology. I bet after the flames here you wish that you hadn't either.


I am a very considerate person of others and I would never stare or be rude or say something to anyone whose child is acting up anywhere in public. You can't flip a switch and make it stop. Sometimes you can leave the situation and sometimes you can't. If some people don't like kids or don't like loud kids or kids that act up then stay away from a place like Disney World. Disney World is not going to discriminate and have a sign that says "People with kids that aren't perfect or kids that have tantrums aren't allowed and if your child throws a fit you must leave immediatly for the sake of others"

We went to Disney World in May and my youngest is 3 1/2. He was totally out of his comfort zone. He didn;t sleep right and he didnt eat right. He had several meltdowns everyday anywhere from on a ride to in a restaurant to in the hotel. I removed him when I could because I am considerate. Had I known this was going to happen I would have waited a few years for his sake. I meant to take him on the trip of a lifetime. He did have fun as we all did but it was a little rough at times. He didn't understand why we had to wait in line or why we had to get off the ride when it stopped. Some people thought he was crying because we forced him on the ride including Disney employees and that wasn't the case at all. It was a little miserable for me because of all the uncompassionate people that stared and gave dirty looks. We did breaks, it's not like we went commando but it didn't really help. I think it's way way more selfish to think of yourself and expect people to just shut the kid up somehow or leave then it is to give the parents an understanding smile and nod. Let's think about others instead of ourself for a change.

 

[Pats Dragon]

I think it's way way more selfish to think of yourself and expect people to just shut the kid up somehow or leave then it is to give the parents an understanding smile and nod. Let's think about others instead of ourself for a change.

I agree but not in the way you think. I had a screamer son but thinking about others I would NEVER just stay in a restaurant and ruin dozens of people"s dinners. You just don't if this is someone's last dinner or an anniversary. Parents sometimes think that screaming junior is adorable just like pet owners think biting fido is adorable. Not so.

 

[the john]

its not your fault.

 

[mndisfam]

OP - don't worry about the rude comments. My kids are DVC pros - no commando - and they still melt down. My motto: "Why, its not a Disney trip until you have had a melt down."

Actually, my problem is my DH still melts down too! Be nice people!

 

[LuvOrlando]

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[Pats Dragon]

Sorry LuvOrlando!! I dote on my children but if I allowed them to infringe on other people's vacations w/o taking responsibility for removing them I would be embarrased of them and myself. By saying they would never embarrass you you imply that anything goes and that isn't really nice for others.

 

[CheshireVal]

Really? I can't imagine my children ever embarassing me? Guess we're just different.

Really? How old are your kiddies, two weeks?

 

[goofy4tink]

Well, my dd, now almost 13, had embarrassed me at times. But, at those times she is/was given options..'if you choose to continue this behaviour you will have to leave, and mom will finish her dinner while you sit outside with dad. Oh, and don't think for a minute young lady that we will be staying when I get done eating...we will be leaving 'xyz' and heading home. No dessert, no stopping. Just right home.' Since she is relatively well-mannered, this approach has worked. She found, very early on, that I am as good as my word. If I say we'll leave, then we'll leave...even if it inconvieniences me (which it has).

Have I seen meltdowns in WDW? Heck yes. I've even had one myself, but we won't go down that road But, in 33 years of parenting, I have found that empty threats mean nothing. Our children are incredibly bright and they figure out real fast if mom or dad is going to carry through with a particualar threat. Yes, you'll be put out a few times, but I have to tell you...it pays off down the road. We have taken my dd, not recently though, back to the resort if she has tried to melt on us. In fact, my dh did tell me he was taking me back to the room if I didn't 'sweeten up' after my meltdown.

Too many parents feel that they have way too much money invested in a trip, and have no compunction about telling the child this...How many of you have heard it? "We have paid thousands of dollars for this ***** trip, now shut up and have fun." Each and every trip I have heard it at least twice....usually towards the end of the afternoon, it's hot/humid, the kids are overstimulated.

So....bottom line....if your kid is melting, take him out if he/she doesn't get some control in a short time. Yes, I realize that CHH isn't haute cuisine, but still, people have the right to be able to converse without shouting over the fit-pitching toddler two tables over. And, no...I'm not saying that as soon as little 'Emma' starts screaming you have to hustle her out...give her a few minutes to get it out of her system. Just not half an hour!!!

 

[Teacher03]

Really? How old are your kiddies, two weeks?

I had to laugh at this! How true! My kids were pretty well behaved, but they did embarrass me at times. ( As I am sitting in my empty house, as I do every Saturday night since they are grown, I am missing those years, even the occasional meltdowns and embarrassments!)

 

[LuvOrlando]

over it

 

[cabanafrau]

To the OP, so sorry for you. Give you loads of credit for managing to enjoy yourselves after 2 days of that -- think I'd be on the news in a not-so-good way.

I've been embarrassed beyond belief by my own children & annoyed as humanly possible by others demon darlings. In either situation I feel it is on the parent of the disruptive child to take the steps necessary to make sure not to ruin things for those around them in situations like restaurants and shows. Yep, I've spent mealtimes outside of restaurants, etc. or sitting in the car. Nope, don't raise my girls to behave badly, but when they were very young & we were travelling, issues sometimes happened.

The best thing for these situations (& many other issues on these boards) might be for everyone to bring along extra helpings of patience, cooperation, consideration & empathy. If I run out, could someone loan me some of theirs?

 

[english rose 47]

I fsomeoine has the perfect work every time solution to a kid acting up in public let's nomiate them fo the NOBLE PEACE award,face it their is no right ?wrong answer to this but the only people who haven't experienced it first hand are either in total denial ordon't have kids. There are so many factors that can cause these "behaviors" and just as many theories on how to handle it!DGS has pulled his share and we handle it as best we can at the time. I'm sure he will have his "bad " moments at Disney. It's an awful lot of stimutlation for a little one not to mention tiring. Be nice please!!!!

 

[DaisyD]

I fsomeoine has the perfect work every time solution to a kid acting up in public let's nomiate them fo the NOBLE PEACE award,face it their is no right ?wrong answer to this but the only people who haven't experienced it first hand are either in total denial ordon't have kids. There are so many factors that can cause these "behaviors" and just as many theories on how to handle it!DGS has pulled his share and we handle it as best we can at the time. I'm sure he will have his "bad " moments at Disney. It's an awful lot of stimutlation for a little one not to mention tiring. Be nice please!!!!

I don't think anyone here is denying that there kids never had meltdowns. Mine have many times when they were little. What I am saying is that the parent needs to be mature and responsible enough to deal with it in an appropriate manner. That doesn't mean making other diners miserable because you don't have the common sense to remove the child. That is beyond rude!