Formal Apology to All

[raidermatt]

5 minutes of crying at the Harbor House is not a problem. At V&A's, yeah, we should take our children outside pretty quickly. But at casual counter service places, its not reasonable to expect someone to take a child outside the minute they start crying.

In this case, it was somewhat of an anomoly in that the child was fine most of the rest of the trip, so apparently whatever strategy the op used worked.

So I think the criticism, given what we know in this case, is a little off-base. Now, scheduling a dinner in a nice restaurant when your child is prone to meltdowns, and then not being prepared to remove them if/when it happens is another story altogether.

 

[Kramer]

NOTE: Flame Proof Suit in Place:
It is too bad if you had to eat on the run because of the way YOUR child acted. Maybe one can eat inside while the other parent is outside watching the child. If you want to bring little kids to Disney, that's fine. That is what Disney is all about. But, it is YOUR responsibility to make sure your kids don't inconvenience others. I pay just as much as you for eating, so why should I eat in misery because of your selfishness. It is not bad parenting that allows or causes children to "meltdown" but it IS bad parenting to let them bother others (when there is a way out or away from the area).

I love how you drop the line "That is what Disney is all about" and in the next breath you call someone selfish... that's not a very "Disney" like attitude.

Why would you be "in misery" because someone else's kid was having a meltdown for 5 minutes? For pete's sake... you're on vacation! Lighten up and go with the flow.

 

[raidermatt]

Oh, and on the subject of bringing young children to WDW in general, there's no real right or wrong answer there either.

Any age is fine, provided the parents are prepared to deal with the situations that could arise.

Its also not fair to judge somebody based on a snapshot of what is going on with them at that particular time. Think of how your worst moment of the day might appear to an outsider who didn't have all the facts and I'm sure you can see how you could be misjudged as well.

It might look like that 9 month old is being dragged all over the place, but perhaps this is their first bad moment in a week, and the parent is heading to a quiet spot to calm things down (looking flustered I'm sure).

Of course that's not always the case, but its often difficult to tell exactly what's going on based on a 5 or 10 second observation.

 

[theostwalts]

I love how you drop the line "That is what Disney is all about" and in the next breath you call someone selfish... that's not a very "Disney" like attitude.

Why would you be "in misery" because someone else's kid was having a meltdown for 5 minutes? For pete's sake... you're on vacation! Lighten up and go with the flow.

 

[DebIreland]

OP, I really don't think you apologizing is enough. I don't see why your 2 year old can't write a formal apology to all of us. Maybe you could help her with it.

Too funny! I love it!

OP, I can relate. My heretofore angelic little girl has just recently discovered tantrums. Oh boy, it's so stressful sometimes I'm close to tears and then, of course, there are plenty of days where everything flows smoothly and she has no meltdowns. The good news is that my eldest child had the worst tantrums I've personally ever heard of or seen (his psychologist once told us he'd never seen a child to have such violent and 'expert' tantrums) - throwing himself on the ground, screaming the loudest highest-pitch screams imaginable, this could go on for hours - he had problems back then and the poor guy just couldn't communicate so most of those tantrums were caused by deep frustration. Those were stressful times that regularly reduced us to tears.

Oh yeah, the good news, lol! He's 12 now and is the most pleasant, contented and mature 12 year old you're likely to meet. I have a 9 year old too who bypassed the tantrum stage - I guess he reckoned he couldn't live up to his brother's expertise so he didn't bother trying. lol So 10 years on and we're doing the tantrum thing all over again. Not as bad as DS's of course but still, it's hard.

You have my empathy and sympathy.

 

[pearlieq]

she screamed and kicked the person if front of us the whole two hour flight from Dulles to MCO.

OK, I can totally understand how there's not much you can do about the temper tantrums--it happens.

But I draw the line at letting her kick some poor person's seat for 2 hours. That you definitley could have stopped.

Hope your next trip goes better!

 

[Hannathy]

It is nice you apologized BUT nicer would have been to take your screaming daughter out of the rest. I would be willing to bet it was longer than 5 minutes and to the people who can't stand crying children believe me it seemed many,mant times longer than 5 minutes! That is just rude to disrupt other peoples dining and not do anything about it. One of you should have left and taken turns or got your food to go- unless you offered to pay for all the diners whose dinners you disturbed. And yes I have children and if the were acting up at a rest. one of us left with them.

I really pity the poor person whose sit she kicked- there is no excuse for that. You could have physically kept her from kicking if needed and if I was that person I would have been saying something to you.

 

[Simba22]

Most people who have had children (I have 4) understand. There is a clear difference between what you described and a child who is constantly not listening to their parents while standing in line etc..which I think more people have less tolerance. Kids are kids...

I have total sympathy for parents with small kids who suffer from break-downs...totally understandable. It's funny cuz when we went in May, by DBIL (age 17) was the "child" mentioned above as constantly not listening when standing in line, etc. everything I asked him not to do, he did and vice versa. Then there were his temper-tantrums...image a 17 year old not knowing any better than to NOT use the F word 30 times in one sentence, outloud while in the middle of Epcot...

 

[goofy4tink]

Perfect age for WDW? 5, I think. But, that's my opinion...so that's when I took my dd to WDW. Everyone else may have a different opinion. That's your right.
So....we have a meltdown at Harbor House and you're concerned about the other diners? Thanks for the concern, but I wouldn't worry about it a whole lot. At a signature restuarant, yes, it would be an issue. But, please, we're talking informal dining at best here. I'm sure most of the parents there were just happy it was your child, and not theirs, that was melting!!! I know I would have felt that way. In fact, I think I probably would have stood up and announced that I was not having a magical day and did someone want a child!!!

Now, the plane seat kicking is a whole different animal. I've been the kickee before, and let me tell you, it was not a good flight. Man, it was awful. But, on the flip side, I'm not sure what a parent can do, short of tying the kids legs together, and then tying that to the botton of the seat!!! And that is not a good idea!!!!! Yes, we can try to stop our child's misbehavior, but with a 2 y/o, it's going to be difficult in such cramped quarters. In my case, the parent was sitting across the aisle, with the three kids sitting in the row behind me..now, the parent could have done something in that case. But chose to ignore it since it wasn't impacting her, just me. Ah well, at least it was a shortish flight..only 3 hours, rather than 5 or 6.

 

[CTCouple]

Hey here's an idea- why don't we all bring our melting-down children together in the park, and make it look like a new attraction!!

I think the best we can do for one another is if you see another family with a child who is having the meltdown (and you thank god it's not yours this time and control the urge to smile and laugh b/c it's not), and you see the parents at wit's end, reassure them they aren't the only ones and maybe in passing, nicely offer a hint on how you handled the last one, which btw was 15 minutes prior to theirs.
It can be reassuring to know you aren't a bad parent b/c your lil one is acting up in [together everyone] - The Happiest Place on Earth- and that you aren't the only one whose is doing so too.

On our trip, DS began to have a small tantrum at the end of dinner at Ohana. One of the DH in the large party next to us laughed started waving his napkin proclaiming, "WOOOOOOOOOO the magic of Disney...no one sees the screaming child" Another DH was laughing and added, "Im sorry, but I'm glad its you not me." He then added that their 2 sons had just had one right before they got to Ohana. These weren't the only ones, I bet that most parents thought, and we started to feel the same way, better you than me, but in a jovial way. ALL of us knew the embarrassing feeling of the public meltdown, and that it would end.

Our tip for lowering your risk for tantrums- WATER.
Not sure what they have at DL but figure it is simialr to WDW.
Whether it was Donald's water park or the spitting tiki gods (next to Jungle Cruise), or jumping waters/fountains at Epcot, or the Miss Piggy founatin at MGM, when we sensed DS was getting edgy or even before he could get that way, we let he play in the water for 15-20 minutes, and he was happy as a clam.
Also, figure out which ride they like and make full use of it. DS loved POTC , so needless to say we rode it several times every day. We may have missed a ride or 2 at WDW, but it was more fun watching DS's face light up each time we rode POTC. He still talks about and asks when we are going back.

 

[sconnell]

Oh boy have we been there on the tantrums. How can they be such angels and such on the same day?
Though I understand.
Back story: on our last trip, we were with my mother. Her first vacation in a long time. Her first after taking care of my father for 9 years before his death. She really needed it. I needed it. Dad died in Feb and we went in April. (Almost 3 months after.) I wanted it to be perfect, the catch? We only had 2 park days! I wanted to do everything and make it perfect and make it the best trip for her and to let her see her grandkids and daughter enjoying something so great. I remember walking around MK with my mom & dad when I was like 4. (And later...)
The Scene: Our second full day, our last full day. It was hot and we were late heading back to the resort for a rest. (I needed it as much as the kids.) We had eaten lunch, but I wanted to get some Mickey Bars and cool off in the shade and people watch, just soak up the magic. Watch the carousel.
What went wrong? Everything, all at once. DD3 (at the time) had a meltdown over a meltdown. Mickey that is. DS(18 months) was covered in chocolate. Loving it, but I'm trying to keep him cleanish. DD is doing her best but is tired and then, Mickey falls off the stick. At this point it caught up with me. I can't even remember what was said, but I know that if I were being judged for Mother of the Year at that time, I'd not only loose, but I'd probably be booed!
Sorry for the long response, but I just wanted to say, I'm with you.

 

[CTCouple]

Sorry to post again so quickly but,
I am sitting here chuckling to myself (as I re-read the posts to DW) at the fact that we all can remember our kids meltdowns, including alot of the details. I bet we could all go back and point to the exact spots they occured.

 

[jann1033]

We were at WDW last week from 7/9-7/15, and the first few days our 2-year old suffered a straight 48-hour meltdown. I would like to formally apologize to those of you whom were stuck on Kilimanjaro Safari 7/10 around 10:00-11:00 hour when the Giraffes were blocking the path and our daughter's screams reach an all time high pitch. I would also like to apologize to those of you who were trying to enjoy a peaceful lunch at Columbia Harbor House at the MK 7/11 around 1:00ish. The little blonde girl screaming in the red stroller was not the spawn of the devil, but just overwhelmed with her first trip to the World. Believe it or not, she was perfectly fine the rest of week, (with an exception of a "scary" run with the Mad Hatter at 1900 Park Faire) and wishes she was back there. DH and I feel sorry for anyone whom crossed our path those days and hope they enjoyed their vacation none-the-less. We did, and miss the World already!
Alicia

haven't read the rest of the posts but do you think it had to do with change of schedule, overwhelmed by sights and sounds, any clue? hope to take our by then 2.5 yr old granddaughter who normal takes things in stride but is heading toward the dreaded years( starting early with the "mines," blood curdling screams when frustrated...ah those were the "tear my hair out yrs" with my own 2 but we didn't go to wdw till they were older) and would rather not have to write the same type of post when we get back if i can help it
edited to add:
ok i read them now and just have one comment to add...when my kids were little( 20+ yrs ago) i could speak sharply or give them a little crack on the diaper area with out being hauled into court for abuse...it's different now and imo ( not gettting into the spank or not debate) does not leave a lot of options now for parents...take the kid out and they are getting what they want= more rough seas ahead, leave the kid there and they irrate everyone else...it's kind of a lose lose deal. and given how my typical two grandbaby can be giving us kisses one second then screaming like a nutcase the next, don't really know what else the op could have done . ... so i guess i will just have to make sure gbaby gets a nap and meals when she's hungry & gets to bed on time and then go with the flow...so another in advance apology for what it's worth...although not sure wdw would be wdw if someone in our party didn't lose it at least once per vacation....

and you ate at columbia harbor house...in other words fish mcdonalds? not someplace i would go for "dining". or to enjoy a quiet leisurely meal so i think you did what you could.surprised anyone even heard her in there since last time we went it was kind of like eating in a bus station i guess you could have taken your food outside or something but not sure they let you and then the people in the walkways would be "upset' by the clamor...like i said lose lose

 

[crazywig]

Sorry to post again so quickly but,
I am sitting here chuckling to myself (as I re-read the posts to DW) at the fact that we all can remember our kids meltdowns, including alot of the details. I bet we could all go back and point to the exact spots they occured.

it's because they're seared into our brains. on our last trip my ds (just shy of 4 at the time) had a tantrum/meltdown before we even entered the MK! right before the tunnel. i may have taken a picture another kodak moment.

i can also pinpoint my own meltdowns i know i'm not the only parent to have a mini breakdown in a park out of sheer frustration....but i don't let crying jags (mine or the kids) ruin the whole trip.

re: plane seat kicking. we avoid this by sitting dh in front of my offender of choice (lucky me usually sits next to said offender). we are a family of four and we sit in two rows. i guess if they both were kickers we'd put them behind us ...just kidding of course. although one can dream.

 

[MartDM]

DH and I were stuck, just having ordered our food.

Actually, you were decidedly not stuck. One of you could have easily waited for the food while the other removed your daughter so she wouldn't disturb the other diners.

DD was getting to the point that anytime we walked into any restaurant, or any line for that matter she started screaming. We would leave ASAP. She would quiet down when she got her way. It wasn't fair to us.

I respectfully disagree. What was unfair was your choice to subject others to her behavior when you knew she was in meltdown mode. Sorry but, as her parents, fair doesn't apply to you. Why should your plans to dine somewhere despite your daughter's behavior trump everyone else's right to a peaceful lunch?

Counter service or not, it's only common courtesy to remove a tantrum throwing child so they don't disrupt others. I comprehend that this reinforces her behavior to some extent, but save those lessons for more mundane situations. Everyone at WDW has spent a fortune to be there and has a right to expect you to spare them your daughter's poor behavior as much as possible.

I will never see any of those people again, they are probably no worse for the wear, but I still felt bad. For all of us.

I appreciate that you felt bad but your remark about never seeing them again clearly indicates you knew you were disturbing them but you made the choice to put your wants first. I believe that was selfish. There were other options for you to get sustenance or you could have done what you probably should have from the get go -- gone back to the hotel and let your daughter cool her heels until she could get back on track.



Like I said in my earlier post, I can understand being in a situation that you can't control like the safari ride or the airplane (provided you are working your butt off to do whatever you can to try to mitigate the tantrum) but the restaurant is a different story. I think you could have handled the situation with more respect for others.

 

[MartDM]

re: plane seat kicking. we avoid this by sitting dh in front of my offender of choice

crazywig-

I'm someone who has spent more than a few plane rides sitting in front of the future placekicker whose parent doesn't feel it's necessary to even try to get the child to stop. Having been bounced for hours by kids on cross country flights, I just wanted to thank you/your husband for placing yourself in the "victim" seat. It's really quite considerate and I wish more parents would think like you.

 

[ReneeA]

Oh, give her a break! She and her family had just as much right to be in a counter service restaurant wolfing down her food while her 2 year old howled as you did primly looking down your snoot at her.

Give parents a break. Just by the fact that she offered an apology and left the situations quickly shows you she's not one of the "privileged" guests that think they have the right to infringe on your perfect vacation.

I was just lucky. My 2 & 3 year olds had very, very few meltdowns last August while we were there. It was actually so enjoyable that we decided to try it again this year. Hopefully we can make it 2 in a row, although my DD3 is going through a "difficult" stage.

 

[english rose 47]

Interesting thought my 5 yr old DGS could have a complete meltdown on an overcrdwde bus wonder if people would be jumping out of there seats to get away from it!! Seriously if you as aparent haven't gone thru this you are truly blessed or in a complete state of denial@!!

 

[lauren_elizabeth]

Ha, no need to apologize! When we went to Disney World 4 years ago, my little sister was 3. We were just walking along in the MK, having a great time, when she goes to take a sip of her drink & it's EMPTY! She then yells realllyyy loud, "DANGIT! (except she said the other word...) JOHN DRANK ALL MY LEMONADE!"

Yeah, it was around the time she had first heard the word and would say it because she thought it was funny. Luckily, she grew out of it fast, but we still laugh at that story everytime we talk about Disney World.

 

[PlainJane]

It happens to the best of us, my friend.

My son had a min melt-down leaving MK for the day when he was 2 1/2. The little bugger grabbed the post inside the ship on Peter Pan as we were getting out and hung on for dear life screaming, "We have to fly to Neverland! We have to fly to Neverland!" at the top of his lungs.

There is no doubt it was loud, but I'll bet it didn't sound as hideous to anyone else as it did to us.

Don't fret about it. You're in good company.

I think that is the funniest thing I have ever heard. If I was in that line I would have been thrilled to have some good entertainment until I got to fly to Neverland.