For those who are single, are you ever frustrated that you haven’t found the one yet?

[RamblingMad]

1) No worries for me there! I think I'm past the age range for 20-somethings, not to mention they're all crazy!
2) Well, I'm not very religious, but Disney fans do congregate...
3) I'm not expecting perfect, but there are some serious deal breakers like smoking or being a Rick & Morty fan!
4) Sometimes both of them were the crazy one - what then?

You gotta fake number two. Otherwise, you're going to find folks that want to date but won't commit. I know women in their 40s that still haven't found anyone. Now, they can't date any men below the age of 60 because younger men want kids.

 

[Mysterian]

Not single. But here are some tips:

1) don't waste your time with anyone under 30. Folks under 30 rarely are interested in marriage. There are exceptions. See number 2.
2) join a religious institution. The marrying type tends to congregate.
3) don't worry about finding the perfect one. find someone you get along with.
4) avoid those who got divorced. you have a 50/50 chance of dating the crazy one. Once you get into your 40s or 50s, you can deal with sorting out the crazy one. Don't waste your time now.

Folks can call me crazy, but these tend to work.

1) I agree with seeking someone more age-appropriate and mature, but an interest in marriage isn’t necessarily an indicator of virtue. People don’t have to get married to have a long-term committed relationship, and getting married doesn’t guarantee lasting love. A desperate rush to get hitched is a red flag too.

5) ”Folks can call me crazy”, well you are called “RamblingMad”.

 

[Neapolitan Ice Cream]

I'm certainly with you Buzz. I think my standards are too high TBH.

 

[Smugpugmug]

I'm certainly with you Buzz. I think my standard are too high TBH.

I feel similarly. At the same time the last thing I would want to do is lower my standards and "settle" for anyone. I would rather be single than in an unhappy relationship.

 

[Neapolitan Ice Cream]

My first girlfriend kinda put me off dating. I fought to save our relationship whilst she pointed out where she had had "relations" with past boy friends on street corners and in dark alleyways and eventually put the final nail in the coffin by telling me she hated me. On the phone. Lovely.

 

[fla4fun]

My first girlfriend kinda put me off dating. I fought to save our relationship whilst she pointed out where she had had "relations" with past boy friends on street corners and in dark alleyways and eventually put the final nail in the coffin by telling me she hated me. On the phone. Lovely.

Could have been worse. I got a nasty letter from my fiancé and his new wife (married her two months before our wedding date), telling me it was over and threatening legal action if I didn’t return every gift he had given me. This came totally out of the blue. He had been participating in the wedding planning and acting like everything was fine with us. I had no idea he was cheating. I had to hire a divorce attorney to deal with them, even though I wasn’t married. Then he cheated on her three months later and she had their marriage annulled. He tried to get back with me, but there was no way I could trust him. It did not end well. That kind of shakes your confidence in humanity as well.

I don’t understand why people can’t just be honest and kind. If he was over it, he should have said so way back when he started seeing her (about a month after we got engaged, BTW). He had been betraying me for almost a year, instead of just owning up to the truth. It would have been painful, but I wouldn’t have had so many trust issues afterwards. It took a lot of years to put that behind me. I don’t play games when it comes to relationships these days. What you see is what you get.

 

[prairie_girl]

I’m not in a rush. My friends that are in the 28-31 age range, are all married. I’m not complaining or jealous, it just sort of feels I’m falling behind. I’m not trying to date someone to just date someone. It’s just harder to find real long term relationships when your around 30.

You never know when it’s going to happen..it’s never too late. I was married at 23 and separated at 25. I ‘met’ my current husband when I was 37 and got married a year later.

I say ‘met’ because we actually were in Grade 6 together. I was insecure and so, to fit in with the cool kids, I teased him a LOT with them. I only share this to prove that you never know when or how you’ll find that someone.

 

[disneychrista]

For those who are single, are you ever frustrated that you haven’t found the one yet?

In many ways yes. But there is a part of me that wonders if after spending all these years single if I really could share my life with someone else without feeling like I am giving up my independence.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

You gotta fake number two. Otherwise, you're going to find folks that want to date but won't commit. I know women in their 40s that still haven't found anyone. Now, they can't date any men below the age of 60 because younger men want kids.

Sorry, but I don't agree with pretending to be someone you're not. It will only cause trouble in the relationship later on. If a woman is looking for someone who shares her religious faith and finds out you were only faking it, the relationship could collapse. The same goes for faking any other values or interests that you don't really have. On the other hand, if you genuinely want to explore a religious faith or a new hobby, then go for it. But not as a trick to get dates.

Regarding kids, a guy might already have those, so not necessarily a barrier.

 

[TippyThomas]

I've never had an SO or even a date. No I am not frustrated because I seriously doubt I'm a good candidate for serious relationships. Too many details to go into here but I am pretty content with being alone and living my life as I choose to.

 

[mrodgers]

It saddens me to think there are people out there who think it would be better to be married than to be in the current situation, LOL.

You couldn't pay me to get married again. I'm jealous of everyone who never got married.

 

[disneychrista]

It saddens me to think there are people out there who think it would be better to be married than to be in the current situation, LOL.

You couldn't pay me to get married again. I'm jealous of everyone who never got married.

And this is why it is so hard to find someone when you are middle aged and looking. Guys seems to be divorced and never want to be married/attached again or life long bachelors and never want to change that.

 

[pens4821]

Not really. I’m late 30s and haven’t been in a serious relationship in probably 10 years. I would like to have someone to do things with (especially travel but I have family for that and also just some things around town here and there). In the grand scheme I kind of like doing what I want when I want now though. I would not be opposed to having someone and I would enjoy it if I did, but I don’t try either because I like doing my own thing.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

1) No worries for me there! I think I'm past the age range for 20-somethings, not to mention they're all crazy!
2) Well, I'm not very religious, but Disney fans do congregate...
3) I'm not expecting perfect, but there are some serious deal breakers like smoking or being a Rick & Morty fan!
4) Sometimes both of them were the crazy one - what then?

Oh, whoa, hey. There’s no reason to be nasty about it. Besides, I can’t understand why you’d want to exclude everyone with a sense of humor from your pool of prospective partners. Wubbalubbadubdub.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I think about dating a lot more when life gets tough and I'd like some help shouldering my burdens, but then I remember that I was married for 15 years to a person that only ever made me feel alone. I felt more alone in my marriage than I ever have since becoming single!

I've got one adult child, and another that's a handful of years from adulthood, and the main thing I've learned since the moment I separated from my ex-husband is that life is always going to have scary, overwhelming moments (especially with kids), but I am strong enough to handle them on my own. It's lonely sometimes being the only parent, the only one my kids depend on and the only person keeping a roof over our heads and shoes on our feet. But I told myself when I became single that I wasn't going to date until I could trust myself to know the difference between needing someone in my life (codependency) and wanting them there. Problem is, now I don't know where the line is and I don't trust my impulses. So when I find myself wanting to date there's that small voice of doubt in the back of my mind saying I'm just looking for a savior again, like I was as a scared 19 year old when I married the abusive jerk.

Maybe there isn't going to be "the one" for me, and maybe that's ok because all I really needed was to learn to be ok with just me. I've been pretty well satisfied with the life I've built for me and my kids, and in a few years they both will probably leave and it will be just me, but I think that's going to be ok too because I like the person I've become.

 

[BrianL]

Oh, whoa, hey. There’s no reason to be nasty about it. Besides, I can’t understand why you’d want to exclude everyone with a sense of humor from your pool of prospective partners. Wubbalubbadubdub.

Well, you're off the list!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Well, you're off the list!

I’ll keep your application on file in case you come to your senses about Rick & Morty.

 

[mrodgers]

I think about dating a lot more when life gets tough and I'd like some help shouldering my burdens, but then I remember that I was married for 15 years to a person that only ever made me feel alone. I felt more alone in my marriage than I ever have since becoming single!

I hear you there. I could have written that as well. 15 years for me also because when the kids came 3 years after getting married, I lost a wife and gained an HR manager. I didn't need an HR manager running my life.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I hear you there. I could have written that as well. 15 years for me also because when the kids came 3 years after getting married, I lost a wife and gained an HR manager. I didn't need an HR manager running my life.

Sorry, it really is a particularly heart breaking kind of alone feeling, to be alone in a relationship.

 

[TeresaBelle]

It saddens me to think there are people out there who think it would be better to be married than to be in the current situation, LOL.

You couldn't pay me to get married again. I'm jealous of everyone who never got married.

Same!