For the record....

It would be nice if the OP could clue us in to what's going on. I couldn't find any thread, but I didn't look very long. Maybe this is a legitimate bully/bash issue.
 
I don't think insulting someone just to make yourself feel better is bullying. I think it's just good old fashion being mean.

If you are trying to intimidate the person with what you are saying, then maybe that's bullying.
 

If you bash something that brings someone else joy, you are exhibiting bullying behavior. You have to insult something someone else holds in high regard just to make yourself feel superior.

It is not nice and is disrespectful to try and make someone else feel bad about something they enjoy.

When in the world did this become bullying?:headache:
 
There is a big difference between expressing a different opinion and the words the OP used of "bash" and "insult".

"I enjoy going to Disney and have never had a good time at Universal so I think Disney is the best park " is expressing a different opinion.

"Universal is totally lame, completely sucks, is full of losers and gangs and anyone that would go there must need a personality transplant" is bashing and insulting. Probably not bullying but it is uncalled for.

But when that attitude becomes constant and the Universal lover is constantly being told how stupid they are for liking that park, how it makes them a geek and shows that they are a loser and for days and days someone keeps harping at them about it, then it truly can rise to the level of bullying. I think that is the sort of thing the OP is trying to say.

*DISCLAIMER* I am not bashing or insulting Universal or anyone that likes that park! Just using the pp example. I have never been to Universal and would really love to.

This!

The thread was closed so I can't bring up what it was about.

And it is bullying behavior. So if someone exhibits this behavior 20 times to 20 different people it is not bullying but if they do it 20 times to one person it is?

If you say that X is lame then you are implying something about people that like X, aren't you?
 
When in the world did this become bullying?:headache:

Because some people in this world went to the crystal store to purchase their ego and any slight, real or imagined, is just too much for it to handle.

Whenever I hear of a case of "bullying" I just assume it is something like this until it is proven otherwise. I find the victim mentality epidemic much worse then the perceived bullying problem.

I think all kinds of things are lame and I am allowed to share that opinion. I wonder if all of the people who use Yelp or UrbanSpoon to rate restaurants know that every time the give a restaurant a bad ranking they are bullying everyone who likes that restaurant. After all, they are bashing something that someone likes.

If you say that X is lame then you are implying something about people that like X, aren't you?

And if it does so what? I could really not care any less if someone thinks something I enjoy is lame. It doesn't change how I feel about it. Lots of people think running a marathon is stupid but I don't care. I have to hear all the time about how soccer, which I love, is a stupid sport. It never occurred to me that I should feel victimized because they feel that way.
 
This!

The thread was closed so I can't bring up what it was about.

And it is bullying behavior. So if someone exhibits this behavior 20 times to 20 different people it is not bullying but if they do it 20 times to one person it is?

If you say that X is lame then you are implying something about people that like X, aren't you?

I don't think so. Although, I don't know the thread you are referring to, so I can't say for sure in that case. But, for example, I think the Harry Potter books are lame. I don't like anything about them and think they are some of the worst stories ever written. Now, if you (general you) like them, more power to you. I don't think my dislike and your like of the same thing says anything at all about my opinion of you.
 
I guess we get to play "Let's Find the Thread". :confused3

eenie meenie miny mo

I saw where the OP said the thread was closed but I'm too lazy to look for it. Just goes to show that I'm getting old. In the old days I would have been all over it!:rotfl:
 
A great example of the over use of the word bullying.

This. One reason bullying is on the rise is that we are calling more and more things bullying. One reason are seeing horrific teen reactions to being bullied is we are encouraging a "victim" mentality to even little things like this.

I think there is also a true rise in what I would call "co ordinated" bullying--something systematic involving lots of people working together to bully one person and often making sure it happens in many locals (school, neighborhood, online, at work, etc) and of course this kind of relentlessness IS devastating and I can completely understand how it can (and sadly, does) drive some young people to the breaking point.

So, I am not discounting bullying and the effects of it altogether--but calling this type of thing bullying makes it much harder to stop the real issues and hep those who really need it because it makes light of truly serious situations.

OP--I didn't actually see the thread you refer to so maybe there is a lot more there than your post indicates--though, unless you have a reason to believe someone is finding ways to contact you in real life I cannot truly see how ANYTHING said on just a message board with no other means of contacting you is bullying. If you cannot ignore the person yourself, put them on "ignore" People can be rude and mean on the internet--there is no reason to let it upset you in real life though:hug:
 
Because some people in this world went to the crystal store to purchase their ego and any slight, real or imagined, is just too much for it to handle.

Whenever I hear of a case of "bullying" I just assume it is something like this until it is proven otherwise. I find the victim mentality epidemic much worse then the perceived bullying problem.

I think all kinds of things are lame and I am allowed to share that opinion. I wonder if all of the people who use Yelp or UrbanSpoon to rate restaurants know that every time the give a restaurant a bad ranking they are bullying everyone who likes that restaurant. After all, they are bashing something that someone likes.



And if it does so what? I could really not care any less if someone thinks something I enjoy is lame. It doesn't change how I feel about it. Lots of people think running a marathon is stupid but I don't care. I have to hear all the time about how soccer, which I love, is a stupid sport. It never occurred to me that I should feel victimized because they feel that way.


I agree. Why would I care what strangers think about the things I do or don't like? Just because they express their opinion doesn't make them a bully.
 
If you say that X is lame then you are implying something about people that like X, aren't you?

DW loves pineapple. I'm always talking about how I hate pineapple and equate it to poison. She knows I don't think she is poison. :confused: or is she? :rotfl:

I would hope not to have my self-esteem so tied to anything that I it would cause me to be hurt if someone else thought it was lame. As a motorcycle rider who rides neither harleys nor sport bikes, I would be a basket-case if I took to heart the people who said the brands or types of bikes I ride were lame, cheap, ugly, "not a real bike" or anything of the sort. Of course, I have my poor opinion for the style and safety of most of those riders who would talk down about my ride because I don't wear short and flip flops to ride and I don't bar-hop on the bike.
Hope I didn't offend anyone with that... :eek:

It's like that old saying about how opinions are like a certain part of the anatomy. Everyone has one and...well, there's the smell issue. :rotfl2:
 
This!

The thread was closed so I can't bring up what it was about.

And it is bullying behavior. So if someone exhibits this behavior 20 times to 20 different people it is not bullying but if they do it 20 times to one person it is?

If you say that X is lame then you are implying something about people that like X, aren't you?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh so it was the doggy thread. I don't think anyone was being bullied in there. Up until the end when someone got their chest puffed up in defense, I just thought it was people sharing different opinions. I certainly didn't see any bullying though.

Nothing wrong with being sensitive, but bullying is a real thing, and that thread was not an example of it. By stating that the thread was an example of bullying, it takes away from the gravity of REAL bullying going on in the world.
 
While I don't think it's bullying, I do understand where the OP is coming from.
Some people express their opinion in a way that is very insulting, and as though it were fact.
I have a friend who had a bad experience with a pediatrician. She was relating her story to a group of us, myself and one other mom used the same Dr.
When we stated that we were surprised at what had happened to her, because we really liked this Dr., her response was "The only people who can like that Dr. are push overs who can't think for themselves."
Now I have enough self esteem that I didn't run from the room crying, and I know that I am not a push over who can't think for myself (quite the opposite actually), but I still found it very insulting, and not at all the same thing as simply stating her opinion. We are allowed to be insulted even if we have no self esteem problems right?
Being honest and stating your opinion is one thing. Stating that opinion in a way that takes no consideration for the others feelings is arrogant and rude.
This friend had a habit of doing this, and eventually I had to talk to her about it because it bothered me so much. She prided her self on being "honest and blunt" I told her it was coming across as arrogant and immature. There is a way to state your opinion with out bashing the opposition.
 
Because some people in this world went to the crystal store to purchase their ego and any slight, real or imagined, is just too much for it to handle.

Whenever I hear of a case of "bullying" I just assume it is something like this until it is proven otherwise. I find the victim mentality epidemic much worse then the perceived bullying problem.

I think all kinds of things are lame and I am allowed to share that opinion. I wonder if all of the people who use Yelp or UrbanSpoon to rate restaurants know that every time the give a restaurant a bad ranking they are bullying everyone who likes that restaurant. After all, they are bashing something that someone likes.



And if it does so what? I could really not care any less if someone thinks something I enjoy is lame. It doesn't change how I feel about it. Lots of people think running a marathon is stupid but I don't care. I have to hear all the time about how soccer, which I love, is a stupid sport. It never occurred to me that I should feel victimized because they feel that way.

You are right. I am in control of my response to such behavior. But, whether I am affected by the behavior or not, it is still bullying behavior. Just because I am not demeaned by such attempts, doesn't mean that they aren't a bully. They just weren't successful with me. It doesn't make what they were trying to do any less mean.
 
This!

And it is bullying behavior. So if someone exhibits this behavior 20 times to 20 different people it is not bullying but if they do it 20 times to one person it is?

If you say that X is lame then you are implying something about people that like X, aren't you?


But even in my example it doesn't reach the level of bullying unless it becomes relentless and interferes with your life. Yes, they may be making those comments in an effort to feel superior to you, but that in and of itself is not bullying.

So if you love Universal it would have to involve the other person harassing you for weeks on end. Say it is a coworker-- if everytime they walk by your desk they make a nasty comment, they convince every one else in the office that they should ignore you because you love Universal, get others to pick on you because of it, leave things on your desk like torn up Universal pictures and Universal stuffed animals hanging in a noose, drive by your house and spray paint "Universal Sucks" on your lawn, prank call you at all hours of the day and night with nasty messages, tell you that anyone that loves Universal should just curl up and die, and wait for you in the parking lot and throw Universal souvenirs at you, then maybe after several weeks, and probably a reprimand from the boss (and the cops!) they ignore, it may reach the level of bullying. It has gone from a difference of opinion to threatening and is affecting your sense of security, your ability to live your life, and for some people the ability to cope.

In this case the issue is most likely not even about Universal, but just a dislike of you personally and this is just something to latch on to and use to intimidate and humiliate you. Much like with teens it is often one or two things they specifically harp on like a haircut, sexual orientation, how they dress etc.. The bully has an issue with the whole person but picking one or two details is the way to direct the harassment.

I think the issue here is what is the difference between harassment and bullying? On a message board there are a lot of options to make sure that this behavior doesn't affect your daily life, starting with the ignore function and ending with just not visiting the site. Yes, I have seen and heard of harassment going on on message boards, it happens. Someone starts PMing you to argue the issue. They follow you to other threads to keep bringing the topic up. If you are going to be on the internet and going to express your opinion and get involved in discussion then you are opening yourself up to that. That is why the phrase "flame proof suit" is around. But this is not bullying. No one is going to go and hide in their room and refuse to go to work or school because of a disagreement with total strangers on a message board (at least I hope not!). You are not going to od on xanax because a total stranger told you that you are lame and an idiot for your opinion and people like you shouldn't be allowed to breathe. (the universal You, not addressing anyone in particular) They may be rude and obnoxious, but that is not bullying.

But if the online harassment is coming from people you know. People you see and interact with everyday and they are escalating to the level I talked about above then you start to see bullying. Which by the way I really don't understand. If someone is getting this treatment on FB or email or IM then why don't they just unfriend, block etc the person(s)? That at least takes that part out of the problem.
 
eenie meenie miny mo

I saw where the OP said the thread was closed but I'm too lazy to look for it. Just goes to show that I'm getting old. In the old days I would have been all over it!:rotfl:

Me too. Guess my detective skills aren't what they used to be. I saw one locked thread earlier but only read the first and last page and I don't remember anything about the OP in it....but I didn't have the desire to read the middle.

We will leave the detective work to the young whippersnappers!
 
I think the OP must be referring to the Creamed Chipped Beef thread. Several poster were bashing our love of Creamed Chipped Beef and it was highly insulted and, well yeah, I felt bullied....;)
 
You are right. I am in control of my response to such behavior. But, whether I am affected by the behavior or not, it is still bullying behavior. Just because I am not demeaned by such attempts, doesn't mean that they aren't a bully. They just weren't successful with me. It doesn't make what they were trying to do any less mean.

I could not disagree with you more. If you are talking about 20 posts on one thread how is that bullying? Bullying is a sustained effort that causes fear, and carries some sort of threat. How in the world is this anything like that?

There are lots of choices here: stop reading the thread, put the person on ignore or just disregard what their opinion is. You can also report them to the mods if they have violated any of the DIS boards rules.

I could care less about what anyone says about me on a message board. They don't hold any sway over my choices/likes or whatever "brings me joy."

Do you teach your kids "sticks and stones . . ."? Words are only powerful if you give them that power.
 
I think the OP must be referring to the Creamed Chipped Beef thread. Several poster were bashing our love of Creamed Chipped Beef and it was highly insulted and, well yeah, I felt bullied....;)

Well, yeah, because only a spineless moron would eat that stuff... ;)

(actually, I haven't had it in years, but I remember loving it when my mom made it)

I agree with overuse of the word "bullying." It's just like when someone screams that they've been "flamed" because someone disagreed with them.
 


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