For only children

[aprilgail]

I am not an only but my brother and I rarely talked growing up and I always wished I was! But I SO need my space-my daughter is an only and in college right now, she is not liking having to share her dorm room with another kid, after this year we will be getting her a single so she doesn't have to share. I totally get why she is unhappy sharing, she has no time to just hang out and veg out, always someone there or someone coming and going.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I'm an oldest and have always needed my alone time. It's called being an introvert.

As someone else pointed out on this thread I am a intervert

I am I believe a infj to be exact not a bad thing just who I am

 

[PollyannaMom]

I agree it's more an introvert thing. I grew up with a sibling, but definitely recharge by being alone. My DS is an only, and he recharges by being with people.

P.S. - I'm an ISTJ

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm an only and need my own space. I dislike loud chaotic places as well. I like my house nice and quiet.

I love quiet too. A lot of times if DH is gone I don't even have the TV or music on. Just. Quiet.

I'm an only and grew up with doing a lot of things myself.
Older now, but DH traveled a lot before he retired, so definitely got used to being alone again.....and I do like it.
I like it when he has a meeting and I get an evening alone.
I love alone time.

Reminds me of the first time DH had an overnight trip for work, it was after our kids were grown and gone and I had never, ever, spent a night totally alone. Ever.

I was nervous and remember even crying as I watched his vehicle leave the driveway.

But! I quickly got over it, and after that first time and me realizing I would be totally fine being alone I loved when he had to go away for work. He still does it occasionally, and has a couple 2-3 night school meetings he has to attend every year and now I actually look forward to those times, just to have complete alone time. I buy snacks that I love, and watch scary movies (he doesn't enjoy them) on Netflix. I don't cook, at all, when he's gone either.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Dh is gone and I don't have the tv on or anything just old fashioned daydreaming

 

[Wishing on a star]

Some people need more down-time and 'me' time.
Just the way it is.
Not necessarily a part of being an only child...
And, definitely not something to feel negatively about!!!!

 

[Meriweather]

I love quiet too. A lot of times if DH is gone I don't even have the TV or music on. Just. Quiet.



Reminds me of the first time DH had an overnight trip for work, it was after our kids were grown and gone and I had never, ever, spent a night totally alone. Ever.

I was nervous and remember even crying as I watched his vehicle leave the driveway.

But! I quickly got over it, and after that first time and me realizing I would be totally fine being alone I loved when he had to go away for work. He still does it occasionally, and has a couple 2-3 night school meetings he has to attend every year and now I actually look forward to those times, just to have complete alone time. I buy snacks that I love, and watch scary movies (he doesn't enjoy them) on Netflix. I don't cook, at all, when he's gone either.

DH used to be gone 2-3 weeks a months. The kids were gone on their own. I loved it. Quiet. We lived in a rural area.
Then we moved and he still traveled some. But telecommuted, so home more and made a lot of messes!
Then he retired and now he is here 24/7, I so enjoy when he has a meeting somewhere.
The kids and grandkids live close by and come over at least 2 times a week. I love having them close, but it is nice to have quiet when they go home
It has been a real adjustment for me. I go upstairs into my room (computer/ scrap book room) to be alone.

 

[MIGrandma]

DH used to be gone 2-3 weeks a months. The kids were gone on their own. I loved it. Quiet. We lived in a rural area.
Then we moved and he still traveled some. But telecommuted, so home more and made a lot of messes!
Then he retired and now he is here 24/7, I so enjoy when he has a meeting somewhere.
The kids and grandkids live close by and come over at least 2 times a week. I love having them close, but it is nice to have quiet when they go home
It has been a real adjustment for me. I go upstairs into my room (computer/ scrap book room) to be alone.

I can understand how you feel. I love DH dearly, and we enjoy being together, but I gotta have some alone time too. He does have a few hobbies that I don't share, but right now he doesn't have much time for them. Not sure if he will ever fully retire, his Dad is 80 and still farms with DH and his brother-in-law. Plus DH is a crop insurance adjuster and I don't see him ever giving that up completely either. I do hope he cuts back on both jobs eventually though (we both just turned 60 in August/September) and then would have more time to enjoy his hobbies. He is a putterer, and used to enjoy woodworking so I can see him getting back into that someday.

Our kids/grands live closeby too so I understand where you're coming from on that too. I feel the same way.

We have a big house so I do have places I can go to "get away" as you have your computer/scrap book room. DH enjoys watching NASCAR and I'm not into that so much anymore so I usually go to my quiet spot in the dining room (I have a glider rocker in one corner) and either read or watch a movie on Netflix on my iPad.

My best friend had a hard time adjusting when her DH retired. His ONLY hobby is watching TV so he's in his chair in their living room ALL DAY just sitting watching TV and she gets tired of that, and the noise of the TV. She envies me being able to turn our TV off when DH isn't home. She does have her sewing room, and an enclosed back porch that she retreats to. Plus he has Alzheimer's and it is getting worse so she has that to deal with too.

 

[tvguy]

Sort of an only. I have a half brother who is 23 years older than me, and we only lived under the same roof for about a year when I was 3.
My wife is an only child. Seems to me those who lived up with siblings need their space as an adult more than only children. I HAD my space for 20 years.

 

[Meriweather]

DH does have a hobby that keeps him busy. He is a woodworking and has a shop, so he is out there a lot.....not not in summer, too hot. He has 2 woodworking meetings a month, but one is family dinner night and he goes to the laser place to cut a lot.
He teaches 4 year olds woodworking at DGS's day care.
He is a people person and talks to everyone!! I'm the opposite.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I love quiet too. A lot of times if DH is gone I don't even have the TV or music on. Just. Quiet.



Reminds me of the first time DH had an overnight trip for work, it was after our kids were grown and gone and I had never, ever, spent a night totally alone. Ever.

I was nervous and remember even crying as I watched his vehicle leave the driveway.

But! I quickly got over it, and after that first time and me realizing I would be totally fine being alone I loved when he had to go away for work. He still does it occasionally, and has a couple 2-3 night school meetings he has to attend every year and now I actually look forward to those times, just to have complete alone time. I buy snacks that I love, and watch scary movies (he doesn't enjoy them) on Netflix. I don't cook, at all, when he's gone either.

I know exactly how you feel. About 5 years ago, my DH signed on with our county to be a Sheriff Deputy. He had to go to the Police Academy for 16 weeks at a university about 1.5 hours away. He did get to come home every weekend. I cried and cried when he first left, but after a couple days I fell into a nice routine of being by myself. I did get really sick with strep throat while he was gone that took a while to diagnose (for some reason 2 different strep tests came back negative) and so the doctors just kept saying I had a virus/drainage/etc - while I was so sick and not getting any better, I did really hate being home alone.

 

[Felicis]

DH is an only, DD is an only. I am a middle but with large age gaps either side. We all value having our own time and space. I see it as a good thing, being happy in your own company is important!

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I am an only child and yes I do find that I need some alone time. I don't know if it is an only child thing, or it is just the way I am. Like right now I got up early just so I could kind of be alone for a little while before the day starts.

 

[keri125]

My son is an only and is almost 13, and if he doesn't get a certain amount of alone time, he gets very cranky! I am very extroverted and since it is just he and I in the household, I have had to learn how to back off and give him his space when I see the signs that he is needing it. He is such a sweet kid he would never deliberately tell me to go away because he wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, but I can generally start to see the tension in his shoulders and face when I have not given him enough time to be by himself (even if that just means being in the same room together but letting him listen to his headphones without trying to talk to him, etc.). We've gotten it down to a pretty good rhythm now - he knows if he hangs out with me he can relax and have a good time because he will have "his" time later. We call him an extroverted introvert, LOL, because he is social, just with a small amount of friends and he is totally ok on his own. I'm actually very proud of his independence, and I think it will serve him well going into his high school years, as he is really not swayed (much) by peer pressure.

 

[smiths02]

I am an only child raised by a single mother (so only two people in the house), and I need alone time, but I have 3 relatively young children now, so I don't get it. (Unless I wake up early...my alone time is 4:30-5:30 am.) The kids are fine with loud, messy, chaos. I can't get used to it, but it keeps happening in my house with 3 young children!

The lack of alone time (or lack of sleep or both) combined with trying to reign in constant chaos has thrown me for a loop since my twins were born 5 years ago.

 

[mom2rtk]

I am an only child raised by a single mother (so only two people in the house), and I need alone time, but I have 3 relatively young children now, so I don't get it. (Unless I wake up early...my alone time is 4:30-5:30 am.) The kids are fine with loud, messy, chaos. I can't get used to it, but it keeps happening in my house with 3 young children!

The lack of alone time (or lack of sleep or both) combined with trying to reign in constant chaos has thrown me for a loop since my twins were born 5 years ago.

Just about the time you finally get used to it, they'll leave for college. And then you'll have too much alone time.

 

[weeniecat2442]

Only child here and YES i do need my own space and make it a priority. My BF is also an only child which is great bc we understand each other's need for alone time and own space.
Nothing wrong with needing your own time/space!

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

My son is an only and is almost 13, and if he doesn't get a certain amount of alone time, he gets very cranky! I am very extroverted and since it is just he and I in the household, I have had to learn how to back off and give him his space when I see the signs that he is needing it. He is such a sweet kid he would never deliberately tell me to go away because he wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, but I can generally start to see the tension in his shoulders and face when I have not given him enough time to be by himself (even if that just means being in the same room together but letting him listen to his headphones without trying to talk to him, etc.). We've gotten it down to a pretty good rhythm now - he knows if he hangs out with me he can relax and have a good time because he will have "his" time later. We call him an extroverted introvert, LOL, because he is social, just with a small amount of friends and he is totally ok on his own. I'm actually very proud of his independence, and I think it will serve him well going into his high school years, as he is really not swayed (much) by peer pressure.

That prob described s me I love my friend time but also love to binge watch my fav shows on my own time and ladies and getelmen thats why my allowance goes to TBD following

Netflix

Prime

And one more I think pure flix

 

[maxaroni]

I am an only. I need my space desperately. However, I also think some of it is personality, as I am also an introvert and quiet.

My DS24 is an only and he needs his space and found it a bit harder when he went off to college. He wound up in a triple, so 2 others in his room. Both my parents were onlies and my mom was very social, but also liked her time. My dad is an only and needs his space, also an introvert and quiet.

You are not alone, Tink!