? for only children or parents of only children

[Charleneluvsdisney]

My son is an only child (7 year old) who will adamantly tell you he doesn't want any brothers or sisters or even any pets!

My husband on the other hand is an only child who wishes we had more children. He doesn't mention wanting his own brothers or sisters, but he really wanted a sibling for our son. It didn't work out that way though.

 

[Feralpeg]

DD is an only child. She is 15. When she was younger, she would ask why she didn't have a brother or sister. I would explain to her that it would be difficult because I was a single mother. I told her that if she had siblings she would not have as much one on one time with me. She would have to share me. I explained that we wouldn't be able to do all the things we do because it would be more expensive to have more children. She seemed fine with that. The only time she says anything now is around the holidays. We have a very small family. Holidays usually end up being just DD, my sister and me. She hears about her friends going to large family gatherings and wishes she could do something like that.

From my point of view, having one child is wonderful. We are so close. I am financial able to do what I want for her. And, I never have to hear her fight with siblings!

 

[disneydebk]

I come from a family of 4 kids and my hubby comes from 6 kids and we have only one! I can tell you from experience that you can't necessarily count on siblings when there is an illness in the family. When my mom was sick and passed away several years ago, I might as well have been an only child as the other siblings in my family couldn't be bothered with her.

You'll know deep down if you should have another or not. There are pros and cons to each situation and what is right for you may not be right for someone else and vice versa. Good luck!

 

[Christine]

I am a 40-year old only child. As a child, I really enjoyed being the only child but, then again, I had quite a few cousins my age that were always around. I enjoyed the peace and quiet of being an only and I was fortunate that my parents kept their perspective and didn't get too wrapped up in me because I was their only one. I always had mixed feelings (and still do) about siblings. Sometimes I would go to people's houses and they would have these big, great fun families as opposed to my quiet house. Other times, the fighting between some of my friends and their siblings was just breathtaking.

Now, as an adult, it would be very nice to have a sibling that I was close to. I do see some of those relationships and I think "how nice." But I've also seen some pretty bad things happen between siblings as adults, so, I don't really know what a good answer would be.

 

[Kimberle]

Originally posted by disneydebk
I come from a family of 4 kids and my hubby comes from 6 kids and we have only one! I can tell you from experience that you can't necessarily count on siblings when there is an illness in the family. When my mom was sick and passed away several years ago, I might as well have been an only child as the other siblings in my family couldn't be bothered with her.

You'll know deep down if you should have another or not. There are pros and cons to each situation and what is right for you may not be right for someone else and vice versa. Good luck!

This is so true. I know several families of many children (more than 2). Either the sibs fight like "cats & dogs" over care, money, etc. or only 1 ends up doing "everything".

My Mom, too, was an only. She never had to care for her parents. (Her Mom died quickly of cancer at 63 & her Dad lived a very active life, dying of a heart attack at 74.)

I'm the oldest of 4. I hardly ever see my sib's. We all live very far apart. My dd is the youngest of 3 and we see his bro's maybe 2-3 times a year and they all live about an hour from us.

Siblings only "guarentee" a realative....... Sometimes you're lucky enought to be close, by not always.

 

[CamColt]

Im not an only child but what has been mentioned here reminded me of 2 older women(late 50s, early 60s) who I used to work with. They were both only children and the both had ailing parents. They were always complaining(and one was downright mad) about the fact that they were only children.

 

[Sonya]

I am an only and I wish I had a sibling. My DH was raised an only and his sis is 16 years younger. Even with this age difference I envy them. He thinks he got the best of both worlds, raised and onlly but with a sister.

 

[aprincessmom]

DD is an only. She does sometimes wish she had a sibling but after coming home from visiting friends who have older and younger siblings she always hugs me and says "I am SO glad it's just me around here."

She is close to her cousins and has 4-5 very close friends(geographically and emotionally) who are around here enough that they are like my own children. So she has the best of both worlds.

 

[Ellester]

I am an only child, although I do have a stepsister and stepbrother (my dad and stepmom have been married for 28 years). My mom raised me as a single parent and growing up I never really longed for a sibling. Although, I did wonder what it would have been like to have one since I knew my mom had a miscarriage when I was 4 right before my parents broke up.

The only thing that bothers me now is that I am the only one my mom has. She has never remarried, her parents and older brother have died and she doesn't talk to her younger sister (who lives 2000 miles away anyway). I know I'll be the one responsible when she gets older, and that doesn't really bother me. I just hate feeling guilty if I spend a holiday away from her. If she doesn't spend Christmas with us, she'll be alone. Same with Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays, etc. I know that's not MY fault, but I still feel bad about it.

From my countdown, you can see we decided the only child route was not for us!

~Ellen

 

[Pooh93]

I used to wish I had a sibling....42 only child here, but after seeing the way most of the decisions fall on one or two of the siblings in a family or the squabbling that can go on, I think I'll be just fine on my own. As it stands now, I've always had to be a decision maker, so I don't know anything different.

 

[Minnie824]

I am an only child, and although my best friend used to go everywhere with us when we were younger - dinner, mall, relatives, vacation, you name it - I still do wish that I had a sibling. In some ways I'm sure it would have been an adjustment for me since I was kindof spoiled, but now, my kids won't have any cousins or anything. We are on baby #2 now....I always had planned to have more than 1 child.

 

[FreshTressa]

I have much older brothers and sisters, they are 12-20 years older than me. They also didn't live with us growing up, my dads kids lived with his ex and my moms with her ex.

So, I was pretty much raised as an only child. Growing up, I remember really wanting a sister, but then appreciating all the attention. My parents spoiled me a lot and I am still kind of spoiled, so that is something you have to watch out for with an only. But, i think my parents and I are REALLY close because
of it.

I think you can do it well either way, but I think in the long run I would have been happier to have a sibling to grow up with.

 

[FreshTressa]

Oh, and I definitely think I am spoiled, still today. Not that it is such a bad thing, but I think I am pretty used to getting my way.

 

[Piglet]

My 7yo DD is an only and I have stuggled with this for quite a while. She is very happy being by herself and never asks for a sibling, and due to some genetic disorders, she most likely will be an only. I am happy with just her, but do worry about her not having any family when we are older.

I have a brother that lives next door and still don't see him or his family much, though they are there when we need each other.

Melinda

 

[Alice28]

I am an only; I kind of wanted a brother or sister growing up, but I didn't ache for it or anything. My parents tried for a second when I was 9 or so, but nothing came of it. I surround myself with good friends whom I am extremely loyal to. I think perhaps once my parents are gone, I will wish I had a sibling to share the memories of my parents with, but for the most part I am quite content being an only. I don't think my parents spoiled me with anything except love and great advice.

 

[kilee]

DS (11) constantly asks for a brother or sister. Especially since his cousin (his first one) was born almost 2 yrs ago. DH and I tried--- we just can't, it's hard to make an 11 yr old understand that you just can't "make a baby" when you want.

I do have to say-- he is incredibly spoiled. I guess thats what happens when I only have 1 kid to buy for. He has the best of everything (clothes, toys, electronics). This may not be the greatest lesson to teach him, and I certainly couldn't do it if I had 3 or 4 kids, but the bottom line is it is just him and I can do it.

My DH was an only child as well. He says he still wishes he had brothers or sisters.

 

[Margie J]

I am an only child. When I was a kid I wished for a sibling, especially a brother. I had plenty of friends and cousins but nobody to share the day to day family life with. I'd hear or see other friends and relatives talk about life with their siblings (good and bad) and wanted to know what that was all about. It's a bond unlike any other and one I will never know.

As an adult it would have also been nice to share some of the responsibility for my ill Mom and the subsequent grief over her death and Estate issues that I am facing now, alone. Of course, there is no guarantee that it would have all gone smoothly and without battles but one could hope.

Yes, there was a good side. I had my own room growing up and such. I wasn't spoiled though, far from it. Having all the attention (positive and negative) on me wasn't always a good thing IMO. At least my overprotective Mom was balanced by my Dad's confidence.

 

[luvmydogs]

I'm a 37 year old only child with an only child ds8. I loved being the only one, although my parents did have a stillborn baby girl three years before they had me, and when I was younger always wished I would've had her as my big sis (didn't understand at that age that I may never have been born!). Whether by nature or nuture, I never really cared if I had someone to play with or not, and was raised to be very independent. To this day, I still enjoy being by myself rather than with others (not saying that this is preferable, just that I have no problem being alone). My parents were very strict about my attitude and behavior (Dad was a former Marine Corps drill instructor and inner-city high school teacher!), and although they may have spoiled me with love, they tolerated no spoiled child behavior. Dh has two sibs, but we agreed that we'd have no more children--we're more than happy with just our boy. That said, I make sure that ds gets to invite a friend to things like movies, dinners out, etc., every so often. He enjoys it a lot, but he also really enjoys time just with us--nothing makes him happier than to snuggle on the sofa between us while we watch a movie together. I'm not saying that parents with more than one child can't have close relationships with their kids--obviously that is NOT TRUE! I'm just saying that things worked out just fine for me as an "only" and are working out just as fine for ds. The decision to have a child (or more than one, or none at all) is a deeply personal one, and as long as a parent is loving, caring and involved, I wouldn't worry about a child growing up as an "only" one. (Just my humble opinion and experience--no offense meant to anyone! )

 

[goofygirl]

There was a few times when I was bored and wished for a sibling to play with, but those times were very few. I generally enjoyed being an only, I liked my privacy and quiet time and those are things that I still cherish. I also think that being an only has been a factor in my being very independant and introspective. Also I did not have the stress of fighting with a sibling or competing with a sibling like my friends had with their sibs.

 

[Danauk]

My dad was an only child (although for much of his youth his cousin lived with him) and I am also an only child (I'm 27) and I have no cousins either. I never was bothered about having a brother or sister (I admit I was spoiled rotten by my parents and grand parents). However now I have a great SIL who I get along with really well even though she lives about 3 hours away from me. The only time that it bothered me slightly was at christmas when I got new toys and board games. However my aunt and uncle would play with me so it wasn't too bad! I loved being an only child (and still do.)