For EROS: The Night Before an NRA Christmas

[fklhou]

"The Night Before An NRA Christmas"

T’was the night before Christmas

In Chuck Heston’s house

Not a creature was stirring

He’d shot the last mouse

All the holsters were hung

By the chimney with care

In hopes they’d soon be filled

By Wayne LaPierre

The children were nestled

All snug in their beds

While Uzis and AKs

Danced through their heads

With a gun on the night stand

And one under the bed

Heston turned off the light

And he laid down his head

When all of a sudden

There arose such a clatter

He jumped up, grabbed a gun

To see what was the matter

He ran out in the yard

Heard the sound of a hoof

It came from above

So he looked up toward the roof

And what to his bloodshot red eyes did appear?

But a miniature sleigh lashed to nine tiny reindeer

"You are all trespassing!" Charlton said

Then he aimed and he fired and he shot them all dead

First Dasher, then Dancer, then Prancer and Vixen

Then Comet, then Cupid, then Donder and Blitzen

Then he took aim at Rudolph

With his nose bright and red

And with a yank of Chuck’s finger

He too was dead

"Hot Damn!," Heston boasted

"I got them all!

Their heads will look great

On my trophy room wall!"

But where was the sleigh’s driver?

He’d no place to hide

Footprints led to the chimney

He must be inside!

Heston rushed back in the house

And what did he see?

A fat, jolly old man

Placing gifts ‘neath the tree

"Freeze Sucker!" Heston yelled

And the man he did pause

"Don’t you remember me Charlton?

Why, I’m Santa Claus!"

"Yeah right, and I’m Moses!"

Heston said with some ire

As he pointed his gun

And let go some fire

The slugs caught the intruder

Dead on in the belly

Which shook as he fell

Like a bowl full of jelly

The stranger then crashed

To the ground on his side

He gasped "Merry Christm..."

Then rolled over and died

"Take that Fatso!"

Heston loudly exclaimed

And he knew in the end

That he wouldn’t be blamed

"It was all self defense," he said

"And I’ve got the proof

With the dead guy in my living room

And dead deer on my roof"

"Once again my dear guns

Have saved me from harms

Thank God, and the founders,

For our right to bear arms!"

Michael Maher
Ammunition Clerk at Mike Magnum's
Apple Valley, CA

 

[EROS]

Thanks, fklhou . I'm one of those enigmatic liberals who has a concealed handgun permit . Not to worry; there's no chance that I'd blow away SANTA and the reindeer with my .45.

I just don't trust the government to protect my family . I'm also glad that George W. doesn't live nearby; he's a triggerhappy sort.........and full of bloodlust . He's just salivating over the prospect of hunting down Saddam........of course, he's willing to sacrifice the brave lives of our military to accomplish it ..........

 

[jipsy]

EROS! There's hope to make you a member of the Hang "Em High club after all!

 

[EROS]

Thanks, Jipsy ...........of course, all good HEHers must also keep a "spare" noose in their homes .......


Don't forget the HEH "logo"

 

[ncligs]

Originally posted by EROS
I'm one of those enigmatic liberals who has a concealed handgun permit . Not to worry; there's no chance that I'd blow away SANTA and the reindeer with my .45.