Flippin Facebook (Small Vent)

[Tink888]

Just need to vent for a sec.

My DH had some routine medical tests done last week all of which were fine.

So, my step-daughter decided to post a FB status along the lines of:

"Glad my Dad's okay and will keep him in my thoughts every day"

Which resulted in half of our extended family going into a frenzy and phone calls wanting to know what happened and if everything was okay.

And while we appreciated the thought, he's feels like, you know, if I wanted everyone to know my business, I'd tell people on my own terms.

I just wish people would think before they post on FB, who is reading it and how easily things be taken out of context, especially when it pertains to someone else.

(and yes, I realize I've just posted his business here on the Dis, but we don't know eachother so it's all good). Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[si-am]

Perhaps the girl was worried about her dad and wanted support from HER friends. I don't really see anything wrong with it. She didn't post any details.

 

[Tink888]

Perhaps the girl was worried about her dad and wanted support from HER friends. I don't really see anything wrong with it. She didn't post any details.

True, just wish she'd have gotten that support in person rather than online. Just wasn't expecting to have to explain to relatives we haven't seen or spoken with in months that all was okay you know?

We all get along great by the way so there's no step-mom/step-daughter issues here other than me venting.

 

[Tink888]

Next time just tell people who know about the situation to keep it under wraps. But to me, it sounds like your DH is loved and people were just concerned for him.

Definitely! Lesson learned there.

 

[disykat]

I'm with the OP. People really need to be careful about posting other people's business on facebook. I'm guessing step-daughter is young and didn't know any better? This should definitely be a lesson FOR HER as well as a lesson to you about not sharing anything with her you don't want on her facebook page.

 

[handinpocket]

She should unfriend you post haste. She did nothing, NOTHING wrong.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

I don't see anything wrong with her post.

 

[dislaney]

I get where you are coming from but the younger generation seem to have a totally different view on what information is private and what isn't. I can't believe some of the stuff I read on facebook.

 

[SaraJayne]

I don't see anything wrong with her post.

Me, either.

 

[Tink888]

I'm with the OP. People really need to be careful about posting other people's business on facebook. I'm guessing step-daughter is young and didn't know any better? This should definitely be a lesson FOR HER as well as a lesson to you about not sharing anything with her you don't want on her facebook page.

Mid-twenties, so not that young but still young enough. I agree with the other poster who felt that younger people are more lax with privacy too.

She should unfriend you post haste. She did nothing, NOTHING wrong.

Wow!!! Really, did you read my posts? We have a great relationship otherwise and this certainly won't change it. It is one thing, in a lifetime, that aggravated me, as I'm sure, there have been things over the course of our relationship that I've done that may have aggravated her. It certainly isn't going to affect or change that.

And really, the annoyance is as much about the relatives we don't talk to that much reading so much into the post as it is about the post itself. Which is my whole point......it is so easy for things to be taken out of context, particularly when they are regarding other people.

I've always been really careful, where FB is concerned and her life is concerned so as not to post things which involve her or write on her wall, things that I feel she might not want my friends, or her friends, or our extended family to know about. That information or questions that come about as a result of that info is hers to share, not mine. It's the same reason I didn't post anything about DH on my page, or even that I was glad he was okay. I wanted to avoid what happened on her page from happening with mine.

So, yeah, we'll talk about it like we always do and clear the air. And all of us, as a family will know that going forward, what stays under wraps where FB is concerned. And we'll still be friends and family, both on FB and in real life.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I understand. We have to specifically tell people not to put something on Facebook these days! My daughter had the flu this past winter and my SIL posted that people should pray for her "sick niece". Well, you can imagine the phone calls I got.

 

[Ceila]

She should unfriend you post haste. She did nothing, NOTHING wrong.

Wow, that was unnecessarily harsh!

The daughter's post alluded to her father's medical condition, which is not her business to announce to the world. She obviously did it out of love and concern, but she didn't think through the ramifications of her actions. Namely, she upset quit e a few relatives by the post, and she inadvertently shared private information of her father's.

 

[MinnieTink]

I'm totally with ya OP. I think the info people share with their 1000 'friends' is out of control. Especially when it really isn't their information to share. Flame on if you must..it's just my opinion.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

I think I'm part of the cusp generation for facebook. It came out just as I was graduating college. So I get it, but not to the extent that my sister and those slightly younger than me. For them their life is an open book on facebook. I'm like you and am a bit more private.

 

[FireDancer]

I didn't see anything wrong with the status message. I have found out about the death of extended family members on Facebook, people I would have never even known were dead otherwise. I often find out about friends being sick, no big deal. I don't jump to the conclusion that sick means dying.

If I apply my standard rule for posting anything on Facebook, would I mind a future employer or my future children seeing this post or picture, this one would pass.

Different people have different levels of privacy and while I think many people are far too sharing I wouldn't put this one up there. If anyone saw the status and was concerned Facebook has multiple methods for clarification: comments, messages, even built in chat. Many times a post like in the OP would be commented on with something like "what happened". The person could then clarify, "we thought he broke his ankle, but it is just sprained". Speculation averted.

 

[MinnieTink]

With all due respect FireDancer, it was her fathers business not her own that she posted on FB. If she wanted to announce her own issues, go 'head, girl. However maybe dad wants some more privacy.

 

[LSmith]

With all due respect FireDancer, it was her fathers business not her own that she posted on FB. If she wanted to announce her own issues, go 'head, girl. However maybe dad wants some more privacy.

I agree. I HATE Facebook for the fact that people can post anyone's buisness. Post YOUR own buisness, not someone elses. The younger generation these days will put every thought that ever floated through their head on Facebook. There is no respect for privacy, where or not you broke your ankle or have cancer.

 

[FireDancer]

With all due respect FireDancer, it was her fathers business not her own that she posted on FB. If she wanted to announce her own issues, go 'head, girl. However maybe dad wants some more privacy.

That is a side effect of the information age. All you can control is what you put out there, not what others put out there. Not saying it is necessarily good, but it is what it is.

There is a very famous quote in tech circles by the former CEO of Sun MicroSystems, Scott McNealy, "You have zero privacy anyway. Get over it". While the quote got a lot of negative reaction even most of the harshest critics said it is fundamentally true, at least the first part.

 

[MinnieTink]

For some reason I couldn't edit my post to add...so....

It's like this, "I had a mammogram today". That is my "bidness". I do with it what I want. "My dads hemorrhoid operation went well". Ooh oops NOT my "bidness" shouldn't be sharing. I realize it was not so out there, what stepdaughter of OP posted but what if it was the reason for his medical test and now he has to explain that to all the worried relatives. Oy vay.

 

[Tink888]

OP here - thanks to all those who understood where I was coming from.

To those who saw nothing wrong with the post itself, I'm even inclined to agree there. I know it only came out of love and concern for her Dad (never a bad thing) and her intentions were good. And it is her page and her freedom of speech. Even the best intentions sometimes come with unintended consequences though which ended up being an invasion of his privacy. Lesson learned.

I didn't see anything wrong with the status message. I have found out about the death of extended family members on Facebook, people I would have never even known were dead otherwise. I often find out about friends being sick, no big deal. I don't jump to the conclusion that sick means dying.

If I apply my standard rule for posting anything on Facebook, would I mind a future employer or my future children seeing this post or picture, this one would pass.

Different people have different levels of privacy and while I think many people are far too sharing I wouldn't put this one up there. If anyone saw the status and was concerned Facebook has multiple methods for clarification: comments, messages, even built in chat. Many times a post like in the OP would be commented on with something like "what happened". The person could then clarify, "we thought he broke his ankle, but it is just sprained". Speculation averted.

True and that's exactly what did happen and then the phone calls started. Fortunately, the tests were good and other than having to let people know what was done and being caught by surprise, no major damage done.

I guess what really bothered me was this: Had those tests not gone well and something actually been wrong, we would've in a sense been backed into a corner of having to offer up some explanation and put things out there to extended family and friends when we barely would've had the time to process it ourselves. God forbid if that situation ever came up, I'd like to think we at least had some sense of privacy and control over such a personal matter. I'm just thankful that that scenario is only a "what-if".