This is the actual wording of the Air Carrier Access Act that has to do with seating arrangements -
it is about 3/4 of the way down on this link.
Part 382 is very long and much of it has to do with definitions and equipment and then specific things, like how to handle a Service Dog. It goes from page 93 of the link to page 136!
382.3 defines the meaning of a person with a disability:
"Individual with a disability means any individual who has a physical or mental impairment that, on a permanent or temporary basis, substantially limits one or more major life activities, has a record of such an impairment, or is regarded as having such an impairment. As used in this definition, the phrase:
(a) Physical or mental impairment means:
(1) Any physiological disorder or condition, cosmetic disfigurement, or anatomical loss affecting one or more of the following body systems: neurological, musculoskeletal, special sense organs, respiratory including speech organs, cardio-vascular, reproductive, digestive, genito-urinary, hemic and lymphatic, skin, and endocrine; or
(2) Any mental or psychological disorder, such as mental retardation, organic brain syndrome, emotional or mental illness, and specific learning disabilities.
The term physical or mental impairment includes, but is not limited to, such diseases and conditions as orthopedic, visual, speech, and hearing impairments; cerebral palsy, epilepsy, muscular dystrophy, multiple sclerosis, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, mental retardation, emotional illness, drug addiction, and alcoholism.
(b) Major life activities means functions such as caring for one's self, performing manual tasks, walking, seeing, hearing, speaking, breathing, learning, and working.
(c) Has a record of such impairment means has a history of, or has been classified, or misclassified, as having a mental or physical impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities.
(d) Is regarded as having an impairment means: (1) Has a physical or mental impairment that does not substantially limit major life activities but that is treated by an
air carrier as constituting such a limitation;
(2) Has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits a major life activity only as a result of the attitudes of others toward such an impairment; or
(3) Has none of the impairments set forth in this definition but is treated by an air carrier as having such an impairment.
This is the part having to do with seating:
"Subpart F Seating Accommodations
§382.81 For which passengers must carriers make seating accommodations?
As a carrier, you must provide the following seating accommodations to the following passengers on request, if the passenger self-identifies to you as having a disability specified in this section and the type of seating accommodation in question exists on the particular aircraft. Once the passenger self-identifies to you, you must ensure that the information is recorded and properly transmitted to personnel responsible for providing the accommodation.
(a) For a passenger who uses an aisle chair to access the aircraft and who cannot readily transfer over a fixed aisle armrest, you must provide a seat in a row with a movable aisle armrest. You must ensure that your personnel are trained in the location and proper use of movable aisle armrests, including appropriate transfer techniques. You must ensure that aisle seats with movable armrests are clearly identifiable.
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(b) You must provide an adjoining seat for a person assisting a passenger with a disability in the following circumstances:
(1) When a passenger with a disability is traveling with a personal care attendant who will be performing a function for the individual during the flight that airline personnel are not required to perform (e.g., assistance with eating);
(2) When a passenger with a vision impairment is traveling with a reader/assistant who will be performing functions for the individual during the flight;
(3) When passenger with a hearing impairment is traveling with an interpreter who will be performing functions for the individual during the flight; or
(4) When you require a passenger to travel with a safety assistant (see §382.29).
(c) For a passenger with a disability traveling with a service animal, you must provide, as the passenger requests, either a bulkhead seat or a seat other than a bulkhead seat.
(d) For a passenger with a fused or immobilized leg, you must provide a bulkhead seat or other seat that provides greater legroom than other seats, on the side of an aisle that better accommodates the individual's disability.
This part has to do with preboarding:
"§382.93 Must carriers offer preboarding to passengers with a disability?
As a carrier, you must offer preboarding to passengers with a disability who self-identify at the gate as needing additional time or assistance to board, stow accessibility equipment, or be seated."
(SouthWest airline does not have seat assignments; passengers board according to when they checked in for their flight. Guests with disabilities are given a specific sleeve or card that enables them to preboard to pick their seats.
Other than that, most airlines do ask passengers with special needs to identify their need to preboard to the agents at the gate.
Pages 113-115 of that document talks about seating assignments.
In general, when you identify yourself as traveling with a person with a disability who needs to sit next to you, they will accommodate you by pre-assigning seats when you make your reservation.
When you get to the airport, if your seats are not together for some reason, tell the agent that you need to have seats re-assigned so you can sit together because you have a child with a disability who cant sit alone.
That has occasionally happened to us because of changes in equipment. The desk agent can switch seats around - there are always seats that have not been assigned until the day of the flight.
Check with your airline to make sure how early you need to check in; if they say passengers must check in at least an hour ahead of time and you arrive at 45 minutes, there may be little they can do for you.
