First trip need advice on rest room etiquette for DS

[Soarin4us]

If you're truly concerned about your son's safety, teaching him to loudly say "get away from me" is a far better life skill than escorting him into bathrooms.

 

[NorthernBuckeye]

If you're truly concerned about your son's safety, teaching him to loudly say "get away from me" is a far better life skill than escorting him into bathrooms.

Yes, I think I've been taught that "Not my dad!" is the most effective phrase.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

If you brought a boy who looked 11 into a US womens' bathroom, no one would say anything, but you probably would get a bunch of rolled eyes. It's not that we care, it's just we think it's silly.

The question is not what could possibly happen to him in the men's room (almost certainly nothing), but what could happen in the womens' room. Let's say there was a little girl running around sans clothes (it could happen, let's say, if she'd been playing in a water feature and her mother was trying to change her). Is your DS cool with that? What about you? What if a woman who was the victim of a viscious post-Teacups nausea attack is in there washing her shirt in the sink and wearing only her bra? Are the both of you cool with that?

Personally, 9 is a fine age to me for a boy to go to the bathroom on his own. But then 5-6 is a fine age to me, too. We all have our personal preferences.

 

[momofboyz3]

Well I guess you and I will agree to disagree on that one. Since there are no laws or rules regarding this issue ( if there were, all these posts about it would be moot) I will continue to do what I think is best to ensure my children's safety and I hope OP does the same.

Mothers have been helping their young sons dress and use the restroom for eons and its really not nearly as big of a deal as you're making it. Basically, you're saying all pre-adolescent boys are perverts and just will look no matter what. Don't flatter yourself. I doubt they want to see middle aged, pudgy women going pee pee. :rolleyes

Oh my, well honestly, a 9 or 10 yr old boy in the ladies room does not bother me at all. My 3 boys would rather pee in the bushes (disgusting I know) than go into a ladies room. I do not have daughters. But, I'm not sure how a young girl would feel if she was in the stall & a 10 yr old boy just happen to look in that direction and accidentally saw her. I'm sure both the boy & girl would be embarrassed. Yes, safety is #1 always!!!!!!!!!!!! I would never suggest anyone go against their gut! Ultimately mom needs to do what she feels is best. But, at some point 9 or 10 yr old will want to be independent, as long as he knows how to yell & as long as mom can be right by the door yelling "everything ok" I'm sure it will be.

 

[Dani784]

If you're truly concerned about your son's safety, teaching him to loudly say "get away from me" is a far better life skill than escorting him into bathrooms.

My son did know this. He did yell. He was with another family member who did nothing. I assure you, had I been there, I'd be in prison for murder. The man who touched my son got away with it and now my son is scared of any strange man and seeing them undo their pants. He trembles when DH takes him to the men's room. Yes, he's in therapy, yes, we've talked to him and in smaller venues, he's fine. But at a place as big as Disney? He'd rather be in the women's as he feels safer and so do I.

His safety and comfort trump strangers. He's my kid and its my job to make him feel safe.

 

[dadofgoofy]

If you're truly concerned about your son's safety, teaching him to loudly say "get away from me" is a far better life skill than escorting him into bathrooms.

I agree. I'm thinking about the poor boy- I know at that age I would be mortified if my mom made me go into a women's restroom. It's just an akward age.

 

[buzzrelly]

To the OP, who cares what people think? If you don't feel comfortable sending him in to the men's room by himself, Bring him in with you to the girls room. What does it really matter? He's not going to see anything, unless he crawls on the floor and looks under the stall doors (I will assume for the sake if argument that he wouldn't do that though!). Sometimes it's best to NOT ask these kinds of questions here and go with your gut instinct. You'll see when you get there that it honestly won't be a big deal if he goes in with you. There are no signs up stating that he can't be in there with you so you won't be breaking any rules as far as WDW is concerned.

I've been around here long enough to know the answers to many of the opinion based questions I might have, so when I think I'm going to do something that would get lambasted on these boards, I just keep it to myself. And I have found that in the real WORLD, these things just didn't matter. Good luck.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

I don't think anyone's talking about embarrassment. It's not appropriate for a 3rd or 4th grade child to be in the restroom that is not labeled for their gender. Why should a female child be exposed to a 9 or 10 year old male in the womens' room, who could be peeping at her?

I very much doubt (given the fact the child would be with his mother) he is in there peeping at other women He is there to go to the bathroom, nothing more, nothing less.

So what exactly is unsafe about the male restroom?

I'm not saying they are unsafe but they can be unsafe. Whether people like to admit it or not, there are child molesters and murderers out there. Sadly, the majority are men. I'm not saying ALL men are like this, the numbers are tiny. However it only takes the wrong person to be in a place at the wrong time.

In Australia, only a few years ago, an 8 year old girl was sexually molested and murdered in a Ladies bathroom in a very busy shopping centre in the middle of the day during a weekend. It took place in under 10 minutes. A terribly tragic case but it DID happen. This was an instance of one wrong person being in the vicinity.

I absolutely understand where the OP is coming from. Just because it's WDW does NOT mean that it's safe. There have been many cases of problems in the parks - there isn't a blanket of safety because it's Disney.

 

[buzzrelly]

What if a woman who was the victim of a viscious post-Teacups nausea attack is in there washing her shirt in the sink and wearing only her bra? Are the both of you cool with that?

.

Seriously??? That's quite a stretch. I'm a woman, a mother, and a nurse, and even I don't want to see that! I've been in my share of women's bathrooms and I don't recall seeing ANY women walking around in their bras. Overreact much?

 

[buzzrelly]

So if your child's safety trumps the women in the restroom I assume you are aware of the statistics of child molestation and abduction from WDW restrooms.

Sorry but an irrational fear based purely on your feelings of safety don't trump the feelings of the women who are using the bathroom designated for them.

Sorry, but I think your fear of a 9 year old boy in a public bathroom is irrational.

 

[momofboyz3]

My son did know this. He did yell. He was with another family member who did nothing. I assure you, had I been there, I'd be in prison for murder. The man who touched my son got away with it and now my son is scared of any strange man and seeing them undo their pants. He trembles when DH takes him to the men's room. Yes, he's in therapy, yes, we've talked to him and in smaller venues, he's fine. But at a place as big as Disney? He'd rather be in the women's as he feels safer and so do I.

His safety and comfort trump strangers. He's my kid and its my job to make him feel safe.

Dani~ I'm so sorry your ds had to go through this. My heart does go out to you. It just goes to show, go w/whats best for you and your family.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

My son did know this. He did yell. He was with another family member who did nothing. I assure you, had I been there, I'd be in prison for murder. The man who touched my son got away with it and now my son is scared of any strange man and seeing them undo their pants. He trembles when DH takes him to the men's room. Yes, he's in therapy, yes, we've talked to him and in smaller venues, he's fine. But at a place as big as Disney? He'd rather be in the women's as he feels safer and so do I.

His safety and comfort trump strangers. He's my kid and its my job to make him feel safe.

I'm so sorry that you and your family had to go through that! It's absolutely terrible.

People might say the statistics are low and they're right. However when it DOES happen, it provides absolutely no comfort to know it happens "rarely"

 

[mom2rtk]

Well then this entire post is pointless as OP's son is only 9 and is allowed to accompany her to the restrooms. There. Argument over and information given. The conversation should be done now.

As for what I do with my own son (who is only 7) I don't trust HIM alone in a men's room. He loves to play in the water as he washes up (gets in trouble for it at school all the time) and my DH has caught him playing with the urinal cakes before. Ewww! So you see, I'm really concerned with his health, the comfort of the other men who will have to deal with MY son, and the feelings of the poor people that have to clean those restrooms. Oh and there are some nasty men out there and since my son was molested when he was four, I will continue to do what I feel is safe for him. He goes with me. Period.

I'm confused. Are you taking him into the ladies room to keep him safe? Or to keep him out of trouble?

If he plays around, then I certainly hope that you take him into the stall with you in the ladies room. I wouldn't want to have to deal with him messing around at loose ends while you are in a stall doing your own business.

 

[Dani784]

Thank you both but it wasn't my intention to post our story for sympathy but rather understanding. People always assume things about others and inherently put their own selfish desires first. But stop to think that the little boy you see in the women's room may have been a victim of abuse and your whole perspective changes. My point is to stop assuming altogether. Stop assuming a mom is paranoid or a boy will peep or even that a man will molest. Do what you need to do for your own child's safety and comfort and stop judging others before you know their story.

These are just children. Yes, they're curious but I don't see why it's such a huge deal for them to be in a restroom. And before you point it out, yes I have daughters too and yes, my DH has had to take my daughter into a men's room before. The women's was closed for cleaning and poor girl was about to pee herself. He shielded her from the view of the urinals and led her to a stall and held the door shut for her while she finished up. It wasn't a huge deal and the other guy in there didn't even care. So why do women care? I just don't get it.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

Great Post!

Thank you both but it wasn't my intention to post our story for sympathy but rather understanding. People always assume things about others and inherently put their own selfish desires first. But stop to think that the little boy you see in the women's room may have been a victim of abuse and your whole perspective changes. My point is to stop assuming altogether. Stop assuming a mom is paranoid or a boy will peep or even that a man will molest. Do what you need to do for your own child's safety and comfort and stop judging others before you know their story.

These are just children. Yes, they're curious but I don't see why it's such a huge deal for them to be in a restroom. And before you point it out, yes I have daughters too and yes, my DH has had to take my daughter into a men's room before. The women's was closed for cleaning and poor girl was about to pee herself. He shielded her from the view of the urinals and led her to a stall and held the door shut for her while she finished up. It wasn't a huge deal and the other guy in there didn't even care. So why do women care? I just don't get it.

 

[Dani784]

I'm confused. Are you taking him into the ladies room to keep him safe? Or to keep him out of trouble?

If he plays around, then I certainly hope that you take him into the stall with you in the ladies room. I wouldn't want to have to deal with him messing around at loose ends while you are in a stall doing your own business.

Both and no, he's not in the stall with me. He stands right outside it where I can see him through the crack. If he moves, well we're in a restroom so he knows I'll spank him if he disobeys or plays around.

 

[Planogirl]

Seriously??? That's quite a stretch. I'm a woman, a mother, and a nurse, and even I don't want to see that! I've been in my share of women's bathrooms and I don't recall seeing ANY women walking around in their bras. Overreact much?

I saw a women washing out her shirt. I've also seen women drying their clothes under hand dryers. It happens.

 

[luvmy3]

Well I guess you and I will agree to disagree on that one. Since there are no laws or rules regarding this issue ( if there were, all these posts about it would be moot) I will continue to do what I think is best to ensure my children's safety and I hope OP does the same.

Mothers have been helping their young sons dress and use the restroom for eons and its really not nearly as big of a deal as you're making it. Basically, you're saying all pre-adolescent boys are perverts and just will look no matter what. Don't flatter yourself. I doubt they want to see middle aged, pudgy women going pee pee. :rolleyes

So you would rather throw around insults instead of answering my question. I'll ask again, what IS unsafe in the men's restroom?

ETA I just saw your post about your ds, and I am sorry that happened to him. You mention about knowing the story but that does go both ways, those girls in that restroom may have stories as well. There are other options for you to be able to accompany your 9 year old child into the restroom. The women have no other option.

Sorry, but I think your fear of a 9 year old boy in a public bathroom is irrational.

If you had read my posts you would see I specifically said that I wouldn't be bothered by a 9 year old in the bathroom. However, since those bathrooms are not just for me, they are also for all other women and girls, their feelings need to be considered.

Dragging your 9 year old into the woman's restroom because you think something could happen to him is irrational.
Maybe teach him some independence, self defense, how to shout if on the off chance someone does approach him, or have him carry a whistle (great suggestion from another thread on this very topic).
A woman (or girl of any age) expecting to be able to use the woman's room without a pre-pubescent male standing there is not irrational.

 

[mom2rtk]

A woman (or girl of any age) expecting to be able to use the woman's room without a pre-pubescent male standing there is not irrational.

I don't care one whit who is standing outside my bathroom door. I've gone through infertility treatment and given birth 3 times. My modesty ship sailed long ago. If I caught a boy staring through the crack in my bathroom door, I'd likely stick my tongue out and tell him to go stare at his own mother.

But my daughter is 12 and should not have to deal with her own hygiene issues with a pre-pubescent male standing outside her door. If the door closed completely without the gaps, it wouldn't matter. But that's not the case.

I still agree with the consensus from the last thread on this topic. If it's important for someone to take their boy into the ladies room, then they should take them into their own stall.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

So you would rather throw around insults instead of answering my question. I'll ask again, what IS unsafe in the men's restroom?.

Sadly, because there could be the "wrong" type pf person in there. I'm not suggesting all men are like this. For every 10,000 men there might be 1. However, they are out there and sadly, they don't come with flashing lights, neon signs or scars on their faces. They have families, they go on vacations, they use the bathroom.

While this actually happened in a Female Restroom, an 8 year old girl was murdered in Australia in a shopping centre bathroom. It was in the middle of the day, on a weekend in a very busy centre. It happened in under 10 minutes. She was molested and murdered. We can say that it doesn't happen often (thank god!) but it DOES happen.