First Time Using a Babysitter-Need Advice!!

[evcollins]

Hi everyone,

I am needing a little advice and guidance on using a babysitter. I have a
DS(7) and a DD (8). This is the first time I've used a babysitter who is not a family member and she is just starting out at the ripe old age of 13.
I, too, started at 13 and find no problem with that for what she is basically doing.

I feel confident that she can manage for two hours that we're gone, and I told her the kids will be going to bed when she arrives, so she's basically there to watch them sleep. Easy-peasy. Right? We'll be literally five minutes away if she needs us and if there's an emergency, the neighbors are always around if she needs immediate help.

What rules do you establish for your babysitters? And on another note, I have quite a few friends that have differing opinions on who should drive the babysitter home, myself or my husband?

TIA for any tips and advice!!
ec

 

[HM]

Believe it or not, I made it through my kid's childhoods without ever paying for a sitter. Mostly because we didn't do much if it didn't include them (and we have a couple family members for the occasional help). Good for you for going out without them! When I was a kid, I totally loved the babysitter we had occasionally. I wanted to be just like her. Hopefully, you and your kids will love your sitter too.

My DD has been sitting since she was 13 too. She likes having phone numbers in case she needs to contact the parents (rare) but also will want to be able to get in touch with her own parent in case she has a question. She wants to know if there are any allergies or medical things that might come up. Do your kids have any fears you need to relate to the sitter (dark, thunder, spiders, etc)? What is their bedtime routine if she needs to put them in?

As far as rules for the sitter: is she allowed to eat or drink from your kitchen? (You might want to tell her what she can or can't have), can she watch tv or listen to the stereo once the kids are in bed? Can she talk/text on the phone with friends or would you prefer she didn't do that while at your house?

 

[disfan07]

I can give some advice form a babysitters point of view I started out babysitting at 11 yrs old (the kids were 2 and 4)...so I've been babysitting for about 11-12 years so far.

First, before I could drive, about 99% of the time, it was the dad who would drive me home. Never a problem and I was never uncomfortable with it (neither were my parents)

Second, make it clear if she is allowed access to the kitchen. The majority of the families I have worked for tell me up front for me to feel free to eat whatever I want in the kitchen. Now, of course, I was reasonable and just usually had a snack with the kids before bed and maybe another snack later (depending on how long I was there....I usually babysit for between 4-6 hours at night...sometimes longer). They would also always tell me that they made enough dinner for me as well if I was supposed to feed the kids. There was one family who never said anything to me about food (I think I was about 14 at the time) and I was there for 7 hours!!! but I was uncomofrtable with eating anything becasue they never mentioned it. So remember that.

Make sure you make your expectations clear about bedtime, etc. For example, are they allowed to read in their bed? Do the lights have to be off when they go upstairs? I just think those basic rules need to be mentioned.

I cant really think of anything else right now. But I think I have also had an unusual bunch of families that I have sat for in the fact that the list of "rules" has always been pretty short adn basically common sense (at least for me). Most of the time, the parents just walk me through the routine, any discipline they have (time outs, etc). General rules have kind of been limited. The families I have always sat for have been very relaxed when it comes to me babysitting. And many of the "rules" that I was given regarding the kids were more about younger kids (under 5) and most probably don't apply to kids your age.

But honestly, with a 7 and 8 year old, I think you will be okay.

 

[Hannathy]

You the woman should drive her.

I never had any rules, if I didn't know the persons reputation I didn't use them so I knew they wouldn't be doing anything wrong.

I always made sure I had soda and snacks and said help yourself to anything you want.

Just make sure you leave how they can reach you.

Relax you have older kids who can tell you exactly what happened or even call you if they needed to. I only worried when they were babies and couldn't talk.

 

[pixiewings71]

I was driven home by the husband and I never awkward with it. I started babysitting when I was 12 (I also have two younger siblings). I was always told where they would be, given contact information and whether I was allowed to watch TV/movies or be on the phone, whether or not I could eat or drink whatever (1 of my regular sitting jobs was during dinner so I cooked for the kids and myself) they had in the house (with the obvious exception of alcohol). I was given a routine to follow if I had to put the kids in bed, if they were already in bed I got to peek in on them just in case, I was also given a list of fears, that was handy!

 

[Hannathy]

I was driven home by the husband and I never awkward with it. I started babysitting when I was 12 (I also have two younger siblings). I was always told where they would be, given contact information and whether I was allowed to watch TV/movies or be on the phone, whether or not I could eat or drink whatever (1 of my regular sitting jobs was during dinner so I cooked for the kids and myself) they had in the house (with the obvious exception of alcohol). I was given a routine to follow if I had to put the kids in bed, if they were already in bed I got to peek in on them just in case, I was also given a list of fears, that was handy!

Yes I was to BUT in this day and age no man should be alone with a young girl, ever!!! Unless they are related or extremely good friends.

In fact they recommend that men are never alone with a young boy either.

It is a sad fact of the time we are living, but no way I'd risk it.

 

[suzannen]

I used to sit a lot and I was always driven home by the husbands as well - never a problem and my DH always drove our sitters home.

When I became a parent and used sitters (including grandmas!), I always kept a large sheet of paper on my refrigerator at all times that included

1) Address and name of where we were going to be (ie The Jones' house or Best Steak restaurant) with both our cell telephone numbers and restaurants or friends' home and when we expected to back

2) Telephone numbers of pediatricians, poison control, nearest neighbor and relative

3) General info like Bed at 8 for DD2 and Bed at 9 for DD5, they like to have a glass of water, 1 bedtime story, etc

3) Snacks, food and beverages available in the fridge so they wouldn't have to guess what they could or couldn't eat

 

[cabanafrau]

As far as driving the sitter home, if I were the sitter's mother I would have full faith and confidence in whoever my kid was sitting for so who drives home is moot.

As long as you're comfortable enough to hire this girl, I think contact numbers; any special instructions about allergies, bedtime, making sure the cat does not go outside, what have you and being welcoming about food and drink should cover it.

If it makes you feel any better, I hired my first sitter when oldest was five and youngest was maybe one and a half. She was 15. Cried my eyes out when she went to college. Cried my eyes out at her wedding. Ditto last year when she became a mom herself. Floated on a cloud Easter Sunday when I got to hold her little guy through church and he passed out cold in my arms.

Try being warm and welcoming. This girl could become part of your life in ways you can't even imagine.

 

[evcollins]

Thank you all for your kind advice and the different perspectives! It really helps alot. Boy, things have changed since my babysitting days 20+ years ago, but the basics seem to remain the same.

Now off to print up those contact lists and get snacks and drinks in the fridge. I told my two kiddos they'll have a babysitter to watch them while they sleep and they are deviating a plan to stay up!!

Glad they're feeling okay about it considering they've never met her. She is our older DS(10)'s friend's sister. We really enjoy his company and the parents so we're giving it a try.

Wish us luck! Hopefully we'll be winning a Championship little league baseball game tonight.

ec

 

[pixiewings71]

Yes I was to BUT in this day and age no man should be alone with a young girl, ever!!! Unless they are related or extremely good friends.

In fact they recommend that men are never alone with a young boy either.

It is a sad fact of the time we are living, but no way I'd risk it.

If I was uncomfortable with my kid getting a ride home from the Dad there is NO way my kid would be babysitting for the family.......I wouldn't let my kid babysit for complete strangers.

Thank you all for your kind advice and the different perspectives! It really helps alot. Boy, things have changed since my babysitting days 20+ years ago, but the basics seem to remain the same.

Now off to print up those contact lists and get snacks and drinks in the fridge. I told my two kiddos they'll have a babysitter to watch them while they sleep and they are deviating a plan to stay up!!

Glad they're feeling okay about it considering they've never met her. She is our older DS(10)'s friend's sister. We really enjoy his company and the parents so we're giving it a try.

Wish us luck! Hopefully we'll be winning a Championship little league baseball game tonight.

ec

Good luck!!!!

 

[Hannathy]

If I was uncomfortable with my kid getting a ride home from the Dad there is NO way my kid would be babysitting for the family.......I wouldn't let my kid babysit for complete strangers.

Hello!!! I am not worried about the girl!!! For heavens sake. I am talking about protecting your DH. In this day and age a man does not get in a situation that he is alone with a young girl. If he does he is an idiot. All she has to do is say I was uncomfortable and bam he is being investigated and worse. It happens and if it happens your life will suck. YOU are the one on the registry and trying to defend your name and prove nothing happened. Good luck after they have dragged your name thru the news.

That is why I also said that even in Scouts a man is not allowed to be alone with a boy, same thing.

 

[happygirl]

THat seems kinda of young babysitter for kids that old.

 

[daisyduck123]

In this day and age a man does not get in a situation that he is alone with a young girl. If he does he is an idiot. All she has to do is say I was uncomfortable and bam he is being investigated and worse. It happens and if it happens your life will suck. YOU are the one on the registry and trying to defend your name and prove nothing happened. Good luck after they have dragged your name thru the news.

I totally agree with this.

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter is 12 and has been babysitting since she was 11. I do not want her driven home by the husbands, either the mom drives her home or I will go get her-I just would rather not put her in that position. I used to babysit and always hated getting driven home by the dads!

 

[pixiewings71]

Hello!!! I am not worried about the girl!!! For heavens sake. I am talking about protecting your DH. In this day and age a man does not get in a situation that he is alone with a young girl. If he does he is an idiot. All she has to do is say I was uncomfortable and bam he is being investigated and worse. It happens and if it happens your life will suck. YOU are the one on the registry and trying to defend your name and prove nothing happened. Good luck after they have dragged your name thru the news.

That is why I also said that even in Scouts a man is not allowed to be alone with a boy, same thing.

Oh good lord......suspicious much? I would never assume what you are insinuating. If someone gave my daughter a ride home and she said she was uncomfortable we would talk about it and then I would go to the other couple and talk to them if it was deemed necessary. This isn't even a situation that would happen in our house, my kids don't need a babysitter.
Besides, I would be much more concerned about MY daughter as opposed to the adult male who was giving her a ride home.
That's why my daughter(s) don't babysit for people we don't know.

PS, you didn't say anything about Scouts not being allowed to be alone with a boy, you simply mentioned men and young boys.

 

[mhsjax]

Oh good lord......suspicious much? I would never assume what you are insinuating. If someone gave my daughter a ride home and she said she was uncomfortable we would talk about it and then I would go to the other couple and talk to them if it was deemed necessary. This isn't even a situation that would happen in our house, my kids don't need a babysitter.
Besides, I would be much more concerned about MY daughter as opposed to the adult male who was giving her a ride home.
That's why my daughter(s) don't babysit for people we don't know.

PS, you didn't say anything about Scouts not being allowed to be alone with a boy, you simply mentioned men and young boys.

You have to be suspicious these days. Girls can be devious. YOu never know. I have seen it happen in families where a girl gets ticked off at a relative. I did at the time, but now, I would never let DH drive a baby sitter home. Thankfully I am out of that stage in life.

 

[prncess674]

My advice is if you are having a night out, then so should your kiddos! I am 37 and haven't babysat in eons, but my favorite family is still a great freind! The kids are now married themselves. I loved that they gave the kids the night off too if it was a weekend. They always left a movie or an activity for us to do. The kids were given a later bed time and we always had fun making blanket forts, eating popcorn and finally conking out in front of the TV.

As a young teenager I thought these parents were a little kooky, but many years later they said I was great. The kids went to sleep later which meant they too got to sleep in a bit the next morning. They were never super concerned about messes and were glad that their kiddos were always excited that "Rachie" was coming to play with them! Of course I kept them safe and had all the contact info, but parent's date night, always meant it was kid "play night" and I loved it. I got to do all kinds of silly things and would run the ragged so they were ready to conk out!

Also as a parent don't try to make this big list of rules that aren't generally enforced otherwise.

Things I hated as a babysitter:

• leaving a sink of dirty dishes and expecting the baby sitter to wash them
• expecting to get multiple kids bathed before bedtime. Is a night without bath really going to kill your kid?
• Not leaving a "fun" snack
• Expecting complete silence after the kiddos go to bed

Also remember that babysitters talk, so if you are PITA you will join the bottom of the list. If you don't know how much the going rate is for a BS then ask around your area!