First name or last name?

[LaraK]

Are you a memeber of the first name culture or the last name culture?

It irritates the dickens out of me when people use their last names only when addressing me. "Hello, this is Mrs. Smith, how may I help you". Especially when I KNOW they're younger than I am. Now I am all for someone who is a customer being called by a last name and I ALWAYS do that....but it's just really irksome to have some 22 year old refering to herself with a last name.

My daughter's teacher is young enough to be my daughter. I understand calling her by her last name in front of my daughter or with my daughter, but why on earth would I call this child be her last name otherwise?

So anyway, if you haven't figured it out, I am a firm member of the first name culture. How about you?

 

[kirbsam]

i would never call a teacher by first name, unless they told me to. i expect anyone younger than me to call me mr or dr so and so. i will always introduce my self by my first name to any adult.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Are you a memeber of the first name culture or the last name culture?

It irritates the dickens out of me when people use their last names only when addressing me. "Hello, this is Mrs. Smith, how may I help you". Especially when I KNOW they're younger than I am. Now I am all for someone who is a customer being called by a last name and I ALWAYS do that....but it's just really irksome to have some 22 year old refering to herself with a last name.

My daughter's teacher is young enough to be my daughter. I understand calling her by her last name in front of my daughter or with my daughter, but why on earth would I call this child be her last name otherwise?

So anyway, if you haven't figured it out, I am a firm member of the first name culture. How about you?

I have to say that I'm a first name kinda gal - but I'm not apposed to calling people Ms. First Name - like my daughters pre-school teacher.

 

[Angelhalo]

I'm 29 and I like to be called by my last name in work situations and stuff just like everyone else I work with. Not with each other as coworkers mind you but by vendors and people who call on the phone. It's a term of respect, and for me has nothing to do with age. I'd be irked if someone I didn't kow from Adam in a work situation refused to call me Mrs. X simply because they thought I was young enough to be their daughter.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm from a first name culture.

However, when I was teaching at the middle school, some of my coworkers had been teachers of mine when I was that age. I had SUCH a hard time calling them by their first names. It felt so wrong.

 

[ctinct]

I am the opposite of the OP. I am a firm believer in the last name culture. Unless someone is a friend, I was taught it was much more repectful to use last names. Particularly in a professional setting- I am a behavior therapist in a school, and it really irks me to hear the high school kids call the paras by their first names. It sounds unprofessional to me; in fact, there are a few paras that DO insist on being called by their last names, and I applaud them for it. As far as calling someone younger than you by their first name just because they are younger, I totally disagree with that.

I'm curious if this is a regional thing. I am in the NE, and my teenaged daughter calls everyone by their last names. Heck, I still call my parents best friends by THEIR last names, and I have known them for thirty or forty years.

 

[Allison]

Here are my thoughts on the discussion. Age doesn't matter to me in the use of the first of last name. The teacher, doctor, accountant or whoever it may be in a professional setting isn't a child, they are adults even if they are younger than us (darn that getting older thing). If this is what someone prefers in a professional setting, I respect that and it doesn't bother me at all. I do have to say I rarely run into someone who uses their last name though. I'm good with first or last name although I am inclined to be a first name person.

It's funny, I've been out of school for a long time and I still can't call any of my old teachers by their first name when I see them. It just seems weird to me. Even my kids teachers-I never think to call them by their first name when I see them outside of school. Heck, I'm not even sure I would be able to think of their first names quickly enough.

 

[shortbun]

first. last name people amuse me but I do it. My son's whole school staff goes by first name. In my bus, I am instructed to use my last although the kids know my first and when they really want my attention they use it, lol!

 

[Acklander]

I prefer to be called by my first name so when someone calls me Ms. whatever, I'll let them know that my first name is fine.
I call other people by however they introduce themselves or are introduced to me, so for my DS's teacher I'd refer to her/him the way my child referred to her/him - I have a tough enough time remembering names anyway, I don't want to have to remember 2 different names.
In a business situation, if someone much younger than me, prefers to be called Mr. or Ms. (don't think I've run into that one) I'd do it but I'd probably be a bit humored by it -think of them the same way I'd think of a kid playing dress-up or something. That's probably wrong to feel that way, but don't think I could help it.

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

I grew up with Mr. Last name and Mrs. Last name. Now I call people whatever they introduce themselves to me as. However, I teach my DD (2) Mr. First Name, Mrs. First name. Only because it is easier for her to pronounce first names as opposed to last names. When she's older and able to pronounce them things will change.

 

[GJM]

I grew up using last names and I still do for people. But I prefer to be called by my first name. It just sounds weird when someone calls me by my last name. My DS friends I tell them to call me Ms. First Name.

 

[Abbie]

It really doesn't matter if you agree with it or not, if someone introduces themselves in a particular way they are asking to be referred to as such. Out of courtesy and respect you should comply. I know my kids have had some teachers who use their first names when speaking with me but the ones who always use their last names, you can bet that is how I will address them too!

ETA: Oops, ignored the question! In our area, the adults are always Ms. Firstname and Mr. Firstname so that's fine with me. From other adults, I generally don't care, but if a teacher calls me I'd prefer the respect I get from Mrs. Lastname. I also like it (but don't care either way) when a salesperson thanks me for shopping Mrs. Lastname...makes me feel special I guess!

 

[lovemygoofy]

I don't guess I really have a preference on how to be addressed. You can call me Tina or you can call me Mrs. Lastname. I am very used to answering to the Mrs. Lastname since no one on post will call me by my first name unless it's been a long time.

I do call everyone by their lastname unless it's been requested other wise that includes those younger than I am.

 

[Laurabearz]

I am part of the Lastnametoolongtopronounceclub

Anyone else??

 

[golfgal]

In our area the only profession you will find that it is almost automatic to use Mr/Mrs Lastname is education. In the medical field people address Dr.'s by Dr. Lastname but even that is only with patients--staff will generally call the Dr.'s by their first name when talking with them. At Dh's old company the new CEO requested that everyone call him Mr. Lastname, people pretty much just laughed, no one called him that--it just wasn't done. The founder of the company even went by his first name.

One of our kids' teachers only called us by Mr/Mrs Lastname they year she had our kids in class. We were good friends with her and otherwise had gone by first names, except that year.

 

[aprilgail2]

I'm curious if this is a regional thing. I am in the NE, and my teenaged daughter calls everyone by their last names. Heck, I still call my parents best friends by THEIR last names, and I have known them for thirty or forty years.

I am in the northeast and everyone I know calls people by their first name. All my daughters friends call everyones parents by their first names too. There is ONE parent that insists on being called "Mrs" such and such- ( actually even the other parents all make fun of it). In front of my daughter I call the teacher "mrs" whatever but if its just me and the teachers I call them by their first names. If they call up on the phone to talk to you they say "hi this is Lynn" -not "hi this is Mrs Smith"
I call all my friends parents by their first names, it seems weird calling people Mr & Mrs ! I do correct people if they call me Mrs or Ms whatever, I like first names not last names.

 

[slo]

Boy, it totally depends on who I"m talking to, or who is talking to me.

My best friends 8yr old DD calls me Ms. Sandy, and I like that. But other kids that I don't know, I would want them to call me Mrs. ***** because I think it's disrespectful to not do that.

My customers I only want to call me by my first name.

When I call my customers, I say Mr/Ms/Mrs **** if I don't know them well. If it's a long term customer, and someone younger, I'll go out on a lim and use their first name, and I think they prefer it. All older customers I use their last name irregardless how long I've known them.

School teachers I always say Mr/Ms/Mrs **** because I think they deserve that. They went to school to become a teacher, and they are not my friend, so I will call them Mr/Ms/Mrs ******

Daycare teachers I refuse to call them Ms Katie, or Ms. Sophie or whatever. They I always just say their first name, because I'm not 4, and I don't think I should have to do that.

I require my girls to say Mr/Ms/Mrs ***** to adults unless the adult says otherwise. When the adult says to use their first name, I still insist that my girls say Mr. Rob, or Ms. Jennifer, and my friends are always okay with that.


I think I covered it all
And with this, I would say I'm a mixed bag on how I feel about this subject.

 

[Disney Ella]

I'm a first name kind of person, but if you insist on being called Mr., Mrs., Ms. or Doctor, you better call me by my last name too.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

It irritates the dickens out of me

What happens when you run out of dickens? Can you go to the store and get more or do you have to seek the help of a medical professional?

Personally I go by a name that I totally made up that seems to evolve depending on the weather.
There's been
Ducky
D Diddy
D Cougar Diddy
This smilie ->
D
Paula
The Poster formally known as D Diddy
Duck Daddy

 

[clgwli]

I think using a last name when it is a work situation is totally acceptable. Age shouldn't matter. Just because they are younger than you doesn't mean that they are not an adult and do not deserved to be treated with resepct.

I don't care how people address me. I used to be called my last name as a nickname by friends and I still respond to it even though it no longer is my legal name.

IMO you are being 100% rude. A teacher who is 22 is not a child and you are underminding her by calling her as such. She is no less of an adult than anyone else just because she is supposedly young enough to be your child. I would get over that attitude quickly if I were you and realize that because someone can be young enough to be your child does not mean they do not command respect. Would you do the same if she were a CEO of a company? What happens when you are 80? A 60 year old will still be a child in your book?