First Holy Communion Did you have a Party?

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

My oldest is making her Communion in aout 5 weeks, and we have no plans to have a party. We are going to lunch with just the grandparents and the godparents. I just was not into throwing a big to do, my mom is in a nursing home, so we decided on a little restaurant that we could easily get her to, no transportation will be required. With the money we would have spent on a party we are going to West Palm Beach for a week in May!!

Now here's the dilemma, we live in a town where families belong to many different parishes, so the communion dates are all different. We have been invited to 3 parties already. I feel bad taking her to parties, when she's not having one. How do I gracefully decline?

Also, am I the only one that is not having a big blowout?

 

[Beastlover]

I was raised Catholic and yes, there was a party. My DD was raised Lutheran and we had a small party for her, too. Nothing major, just lunch and a cake with family and close friends.

 

[bsnyder]

I don't know that you have to decline the other parties just because she's not having one. Are you worried that you won't be reciprocating, or that your daughter will catch on to the party idea and be upset that she's not having one?

 

[golfgal]

We had a dinner at our home after the Mass. We invited Grandparents, Godparents and a few extra siblings of mine and DH's came. We didn't invite friends or classmates. I would bet that most of the kids to who's party you have been invited would rather go on a trip then have a big party. Go to the parties and have fun. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

Big blow out First Communion parties are not common around here. I don't know anyone that has a party with more then family and maybe a few of their closest friends.

 

[CamColt]

I had a family party at the house after mine.
DS's is coming up on a Sunday morning in May and we plan to take my family, a total of 13 of us out to Brunch at the country club. Nothing fancy, but we will celebrate a bit for DS.

As for how to decline those invitations, if you want to go, I would. Just because you arent having a party doesnt mean you cant attend others. I know we always invite the same kids to our DSs birthday parties and a couple of those kids never have birthday parties. Id feel bad if they didnt come to ours because they dont have them for themselves.

 

[DisneyDotty]

I had a big party for my dd as is the tradition in my family, but have been to many small gatherings like the one you described for 1st Communion as well. The idea is to honor the meaning of the sacrament--and the way you're doing it should be fine. Send a card with a note or perhaps a small gift (lots of good children's Bible storybooks out there) along with your regrets for the parties you won't be attending and don't worry about it. Congrats to your dd.

 

[*Fantasia*]

My son's 1st Communion is coming up soon. I think I am going to rent a clubhouse and just have a lunch there with just with family/relatives. I can't afford to have a big one. Anyway I want a small intimate one.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

I don't know that you have to decline the other parties just because she's not having one. Are you worried that you won't be reciprocating, or that your daughter will catch on to the party idea and be upset that she's not having one?

I guess I'm worried about a little of both. I know both silly reasons, but it's how i feel. One of the "parties" sounds more like a mini wedding. The invite came with a choice of entrees! And I know there will be a DJ there as well.

 

[snoopy]

My parents had something at the house for mine (interestingly enough I was just looking at pictures from that day at my grandmother's house this past weekend -- we were laughing about what a gangly child I was..... ). I remember so clearly my great Aunt giving me this beautiful jewerly box. I also got a BUNCH of money, I think about $40 ( ) which in 1971 was the equvalent to about $400.

My oldest missed his first communion because I was on the outs with the Church up until this past February. Both of my boys have recently been enrolled in CCD and the oldest will be preparing for his first communion. Since he is 10, our celebration will probably be small and limited to close family.

I think since you have such a nice trip planned in celebration of your DD's first communion she will probably be happy to attend other parties. Plus, what kid doesn't like a party, even when its not for them?

 

[candykisses]

I had a large party with family and close friends of my parents. The sacrament of Communion is a big event in our family.

But, that's our family. You should celebrate the way you want. I'm sure it will be both a wonderful and memorable day.

God bless your daughter.

 

[phillybeth]

I had a party at home with family and close friends- of course that was about 60 people (big Italian family). My cousin and I made our first communions on the same day at different churches- she had her party the next day so family could go to both.

 

[Poohnatic]

We went out to lunch after mine, and my sister's communion. No party, no big event-although quite a few kids did have parties.

Confirmation, everyone seemed to have a huge party but me. My mom had to work that night, couldn't get out of it-so it wasn't a big deal. She was on the outs with the church for years, so the fact that I'd received these sacraments was a testament to my 'second mom and dad', the couple around the corner who sort of adopted me and my younger sister as surrogate kids!

Suzanne

 

[RyMickey]

After both mine and my brothers' communions we had small family parties at our house - just grandma, aunts, and uncles. Not any big shindig. A cake and dinner. I don't think that there's any need for a blow-out, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure why anyone would invite anyone other than family to a holy communion party. That's just me, though.

RyMickey

 

[snappy]

In our neck of the woods the parties for First Communion are family affairs.
Personally, a big party inviting school friends with a DJ seems over the top.
Don't these kids have birthday parties, reserve the extravaganza type party for those occasions. First Communion is more of a spiritual event not only for the child but for the family. I think it should be treated as such. This is a once in a lifetime thing, make it special and intimate. At our church after the masses celebrating First Communion there is a reception in the church hall for the celebrants and there families. This way the children get to be around their friends. We have some priceless pictures of the kids with their friends in their Communion finery.

For example, in our family my sister began the tradition of decorating cookies with some of the symbols of the Eucharist, a fish, a chalice, grapes, the cross. She made them herself for my first two, for my youngest last year she had them made. We also had a cake with a cross on it but the cookies were the centerpiece.

Around here also because of when First Communion is celebrated some families have crawfish boils in their back yard. Also a nice tradition.

 

[phisigprincess]

We had a big to do at my house and I decided to wear my old grey sweatpants and beat up tennies under my dress. LOL! My mom wanted me to put my dress back on for pictures and I was too busy being 7 and running around with my cousins so I did the most efficient thing and put my dress on over everything. The pictures from that remain infamous and they make me cringe a little.

 

[WilmaBud]

My daughter's making her First Holy Communion in May, and we're having a family barbecue - that's what she wants. We're kind of low-key about these types of things.

My niece is making her First Communion this month, and my brother and his wife will have a big blowout party, like they did for my nephew last year. Of course, we'll be going to that.

The huge parties aren't my "thing," but that's the way my SIL likes to do things. My kids just know that each family has its own way of doing things. No big deal.

I wouldn't hesitate to take your DD to the other parties. Her First Communion will still be special because it's hers.

 

[two-foxes]

I guess I'm worried about a little of both. I know both silly reasons, but it's how i feel. One of the "parties" sounds more like a mini wedding. The invite came with a choice of entrees! And I know there will be a DJ there as well.

Granted it was in the 80's, but we had family over - lots of family, my cousin and I made ours on the same day, so everyone came (we have a big family!)
But DJ and entrees???? Ummm, no, never heard of it. I would just tell DD that everyone likes to celebrate in different ways..you have chosen to celebrate with family that you love and that are close to you, while others like to celebrate with a more "dramatic flair", then go, dance your butt off and enjoy a nice "entree!"

 

[Chicago526]

My brothers and I didn't have big parties, just family get togethers after mass.

Really, it would depend on your daughter, if you think she'll understand and accept that she won't be having a party and won't mind going to others, then I'd accept the invites. If you really feel, after speaking with her, that she'll have a problem with it, then decline.

 

[marymrg]

When I grew up, we just had immediate family for cake. I had pretty big parties for my older kids but don't really want to do that for my youngest. (next year) Husband will probably veto me though because it is the only chance to get his side of the family together with everyone.

I think I'm becoming anti-social. I'd rather go out and have a nice lunch and put the money I would've spent for the party right into my sons' Orange Savings Account.

 

[Laura]

We had a party after my First Communion, basically cake and dinner like RyMickey said. Everyone was dressed up a bit in church clothes, but otherwise it was like a small birthday party with lots of Christian items as gifts. No invites, no entree choices. I think your restaurant plan sounds perfectly good too--that's basically what we did after I was confirmed.

I don't see any reason to back out of others' parties, just because your daughter isn't having a huge blowout.