First date

[mikehn]

On a first date, come on, this is the 21st century. Swipe left or swipe right, thats about it.

 

[dish rag]

A few men have given me flowers on dates and I never knew what to do with them. Do you carry it around? Leave it in the car? It's just awkward, so I vote no unless you're picking her up at her house.

You put them in a vase and leave them at the house.

 

[ImDMous]

You put them in a vase and leave them at the house.

But if it was a first date I would be meeting him somewhere, not letting him know where I live. Now if you're going to her house for dinner for a 3rd, 4th or whatever date, you could definitely bring flowers then!

 

[LilyWDW]

No. If a guy brought flowers on the first date (and we had not already known each other for a long period of time), I would be a little weary of what he wanted. Plus, I HATE flowers. I have allergies for one. For another, they die. Like, why give me something that DIES when you are trying to start something that should last awhile. I never understood it.

 

[ronandannette]

I'm sentimental for the old days; it wouldn't have been unthinkable then and I certainly would still appreciate it as a sweet and chivalrous gesture (if I was dating). I regret having to say that if I was advising my DS today, I'd have to go with no.

What should she give him?
Equality and all that...

Where's the "dislike" button?

 

[low-key]

It depends, are you going for the guy she knows will keep her warm, safe and dry, or are you going for the bad boy she will remember forever

 

[Searc]

This is so complicated. No wonder the birth rates are down.

Agreed. Geezus. I think a small bouquet of flowers when the man picks up his date is sweet.

 

[Jimmy Mouse]

Flowers? no. Maybe a bottle of wine and condoms.

 

[mom2rtk]

Flowers? no. Maybe a bottle of wine and condoms.

Charming.

 

[RedAngie]

Nope. Maybe 20 years ago. Not today.

Even 40 years ago I would have been wary if a guy gave me flowers on a first date.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

As a 20-something who is currently in the dating scene, I honestly forgot flowers were even a thing for dates. It wouldn’t occur to expect it and I would feel very weird if it was given to me on a first date.

 

[DuskKodesh]

What should she give him?
Equality and all that...

Actually, second date back in the day when I met my hubs I brought him a cake, does that count?

It was his birthday soon and while we were talking on the first date he admitted he wasn't doing anything for his birthday so... cake! It wasn't a flavor I liked so the poor guy got stuck with the entire thing.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I would just feel weird.

 

[Disney Doll]

Isn’t it a shame that if someone thought they were making a nice gesture, that most people would think it was weird, creepy, meant they were looking for something etc.

One more reason to remind DH that nothing can happen to him because I’m a one and done girl. Everyone in this world today makes everything too darn complicated.

 

[rigs32]

Agreed. Geezus. I think a small bouquet of flowers when the man picks up his date is sweet.

I wouldn’t give someone I just met my home address to pick me up. Nor would I want to be at his mercy to get home. Granted, an Uber could also get me home, but I’d rather maintain control with my own vehicle. i also wouldn’t want to carry flowers around or leave them to freeze or wilt in my car.

 

[disykat]

Isn’t it a shame that if someone thought they were making a nice gesture, that most people would think it was weird, creepy, meant they were looking for something etc.

One more reason to remind DH that nothing can happen to him because I’m a one and done girl. Everyone in this world today makes everything too darn complicated.

I don't think any of us are saying we'd run, or call the police, or even call it a deal breaker. Just that it's too much for a first date. Lots of things put up red flags on a first date, and you watch and see if those flags mean something. (Like someone else mentioned, it might be different if this was a long awaited first date where romance was already established.) I "flagged" several things about DH on our first date, not my physical "type," clearly awkward in a dating situation, younger than me and not as much life experience as me, etc. He was probably "flagging" things about me too. However, we enjoyed each others company enough to see each other again and it blossomed.

That's what first dates are for. What do I think of this person? That IS complicated by design, because not everyone is a match. Some women might flag that he DIDN'T show up with flowers. However, it sounds like the majority of us here prefer for flowers to come after romance has been established.

 

[MrsPete]

Speaking only for myself, I think it's a lovely idea. It would make me -- the girl -- feel special. No, not a dozen roses, but just a little grocery store bouquet would be nice.
Would I expect flowers? No.

 

[McKelly]

I probably wouldn't for the first date. But I would appreciate flowers later. My 20 year old daughter gets flowers from her boyfriend all the time! Young people should enjoy them! Now, 25 years of marriage later - I never get them! On the rate occasion I do, I know he did something questionable, but that usually is a chocolate gift.

 

[fly girl]

Since I haven't dated in over 22 years my knowledge of the game is pretty sad.

I'd say no, because with all the online dating you are likely not meeting the person before the date.

I got flowers on a first date once, but we met at an event the day prior, so it wasn't a blind date. He was not creepy and I never got the feeling he "expected" something in return. He was actually kind of nerdy and awkward, which made him adorable to me. It didn't work out, but I always remember him as a gentleman.

I like the notion of flowers, but I'd think it would be important to have met the guy first to not feel leery.

 

[elsbit]

I like the idea of flowers after you have already gone on a few dates. To me, the gesture would then feel more personal and thoughtful, and not "trying-too-hard" as it would feel to me on the first date.