First boyfriend/girlfriend

[afnaechiquita]

Thank you so much!

I feel like I still have my whole life to date (which I do!) but sometimes society just says you should have a boyfriend blah blah blah. Just watching all of my friends go to college and get boyfriends was frustrating! My roommate even got one the first week we were at school!

It is frustrating. But patience is a virtue, as always. I never had one until last year (24). There were boys I "talked" to, but I was really only ever actually asked on a couple of dates in college and I said no to them. They were not guys I was interested in, and I felt like I would have been going on them just to fit in with the norm. So I waited, and went on my first real date at 23. I think I'm normal, minus the Disney obsession

 

[aprilgail2]

I was 13. Nothing serious. I used to go watch his Babe Ruth LL games. LOL

We went out for a couple of months, it was no big deal.

I think a good age is 13.5-15.
ETA: for one of those puppy love, more like really good friends, no drama boyfriend/girlfriend scenarios.

Never having one by 18,19 would be..I don't want to say odd or strange because that sounds mean..maybe not the norm is all.

I agree- I had my first "boyfriend" in 6th grade and we dated the whole year- after that I didn't date anyone else until 8th grade. I think 13ish is a normal age for a first boyfriend. At the 8th grade dance plenty of kids came as couples this year.
18 and up it would be very odd to not at least been out on a few dates if not had a boyfriend.

 

[Jessica14]

So here is my story.

I turn 19 in August and have never been in a relationship or even been on a date or even been asked out on one.

I was never too worried about it in high school because I went to a small school, only 106 kids in my class, girls way outnumbered the boys, it was very cliquey etc. AKA a thousand things that did not make dating ideal. A lot of girls in my class never had boyfriends and it was all fine.

Now that I have a year of college under my belt however I am starting to worry more. Most of the girls I knew in high school that never had boyfriends got one this past year while I continued to never be asked out and just not draw a lot of attention from guys.

I'm very serious about school and my career and don't really want a serous relationship, but I would like to at least draw attention! I don't want to sound egotistical, but I do think I'm pretty attractive. I've been told by strangers I'm pretty so I don't think that's a problem (I guess start the argument about how much looks matter - they shouldn't but face it they do).

I'm at a point where I'm really worried what the problem is and if when I do find a guy, will he think its weird I've never dated at this point? It all keeps me pretty frazzled around guys. I talk to guys but it takes a lot of strength for me too because I feel like guys don't want to talk to me.

This is turning into like a vent, but its just something I've been thinking about more and more.

I wasn't going to respond, because I didn't want to get into why I felt "odd and wired." But you post spike to me. This was me! I was 20 and had never been kissed. A couple of dates here and there, but no one was really interested. I was awkward and so nervous."

Eventually I had a boyfriend but it was brief and kind of upsetting because couple my inexperience with his immaturity and it was not going to work. I had presence of mind not to go too far with him.

A few dates and four years later, I met a great guy. We got engaged 10 months after we met and will be married 20 years this October.

Is it unusual? Sure. But it is not abnormal or weird. You'll be fine!

Jessica

 

[disneylovin24]

I wasn't going to respond, because I didn't want to get into why I felt "odd and wired." But you post spike to me. This was me! I was 20 and had never been kissed. A couple of dates here and there, but no one was really interested. I was awkward and so nervous."

Eventually I had a boyfriend but it was brief and kind of upsetting because couple my inexperience with his immaturity and it was not going to work. I had presence of mind not to go too far with him.

A few dates and four years later, I met a great guy. We got engaged 10 months after we met and will be married 20 years this October.

Is it unusual? Sure. But it is not abnormal or weird. You'll be fine!

Jessica

Congrats on 20 years

And thanks!

 

[Minnesota!]

My first boyfriend was in 6th grade. He bought me a NKOTB button

Then "dated" (mainly walked to the local park, rode bikes, etc) a few boys in 8th grade. 9th grade I had about 15 guys that I dated....again, just local dates. None of them lasted more than a few weeks, lol!

Summer after freshman year I was talking to my boyfriend at the time, he had to use the bathroom so he handed off the phone to his BFF, and that was all she wrote. We have been married 13 years, and together almost 20...

I say 14 - 15 is ideal, and I think that it's "odd" by about 18/19. However, everyone is different and has different reasons...

 

[discnewbie]

So here is my story.

I turn 19 in August and have never been in a relationship or even been on a date or even been asked out on one. ......I'm at a point where I'm really worried what the problem is and if when I do find a guy, will he think its weird I've never dated at this point? It all keeps me pretty frazzled around guys. I talk to guys but it takes a lot of strength for me too because I feel like guys don't want to talk to me..

I would not worry about it at all! I was 19 when I first started dating. For me, it was a combination of being in a very small town, being painfully shy, and having some difficulties in my personal life (my parents went through a divorce, and my mom hooked up with, and married, a guy that was not good). When I was 19 I moved out to attend university. That is when things started to change for me. I had some people interested in me, but I wasn't interested in them -- by that point I thought, ok, this whole relationship thing is not going to work out for me. I will go to school, stay focused, get good grades, get a good job... and then my DH came along. I started dating him when I was 19, almost 20 years old (2 months shy of 20 to be exact). This year makes it 16 years we've been together, 10 of which we've been married for. You will find someone! I really felt that it was odd I hadn't dated anyone when everyone else was dating, but whatever. It worked out for me. And there are a couple of people I went to high school with who married their high school sweethearts right out of high school... they have since divorced and moved on with marriage number 2.

 

[Jessica14]

Congrats on 20 years

And thanks!

Thank you and you're welcome!

 

[tigercat]

My first boyfriend was when I was 17 1/2 and he was 23. We got married when I was 18 1/2 and are still together almost 39 yrs later. My dd had her first serious boyfriend at I think 14. They married several years later and now have 3 beautiful kids.
tigercat

 

[Kitty 34]

I was 16 when I had my first "real" boyfriend and my first "real" kiss!

My oldest DS had girlfriends all thru part of Junior Hi and HS
My second oldest DS started dating his Senior yr in HS

Ironically my youngest DS (now 24) didn't have a girlfriend until he was 20 but he is my only married DS, having married this sweetheart this past winter.

 

[DawnM]

I don't think it is odd to have not had a boyfriend/girlfriend by any age. Some people just don't date. Some people have only dated one person, the person they marry.

I had a boyfriend in high school, well, two, but one more serious. I did not date in college. I then dated some but only had 2 serious boyfriends since then. One of those I married.

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

my oldest daughter has 14 kids in her class (10 girls 4 guys) my younger daughters class is 26 (13 boys 13 girls) I tell them they would be smart to wait until they leave this town and meet someone they haven't known since kindergarten.

My youngest is 10 his class is 9 boys and 2 or 3 girls but he wouldn't be allowed to date even if he wanted to. since he is only 10

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I found my first real BF when I was 17.

When I was 14 I thought I was "in love" with an older guy. The only problem was, I never could get him to notice me. He was a son of one of my mom's friends, and I would always make it a point to go to wherever I thought he would be. I guess I was like some kind of little stalker.

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

I will turn 20 years old next month and have never had a boyfriend, nor have i ever been kissed.
My problem is that all through middle and high school I suffered from social anxiety, had barely any friends, and had terrible depression.
Since then I have grown into my skin and feel much more comfortable with myself and know that one day when I am not expecting it, I will find someone.

 

[jen0610]

I was a month shy of my 19th birthday when I started dating my 1st boyfriend. Started dating DH 8 months later.

DS18 has had one "girlfriend". It last about a month. I use the quotation marks around girlfriend, because when all you do is spend time together in school, talk and text each other on the phone, facebook message each other, hang out during breaks at band practice, never going anywhere together, that's not really a relationship girl/boyfriend.

DD16 on the other hand, while she has had 2 of the "boyfriend" type relationships, she is currently dating a young man for the last 8 months. They have spent more time together doing things other than the above mentioned. He has spend time at our home, and she at his. They have gone on an actual dates. He has been out with us as a family.

DS18 is a geek to the core. We have been telling him for years, that he lives deep in the dork forest and that he isn't going to find a girlfriend in high school that will get him, if he isn't willing to expand his interests. They ones that are "into" his stuff are few and far between. He's a likeable kid, just not appealing to a larger percentage of the girls that he knows.

 

[Ana~n~Joseph]

I didn't have my first 'real' boyfriend until I was 18...almost 19. It lasted 6 months.....6 months too long Then had another boyfriend but also short term and finally met my DH. I have no good excuse...boys just didn't like me in HS. All good though.

 

[WhateverLolaWants]

To the young girls worrying about being single: I was 18/college freshman when I got my first boyfriend. I have dated on and off but never anything as serious as that was. I think my issue is that my closest friends have always typically been guys and so it's almost like I'm already in couple mode with guys minus the physical part of it.

I think it's better not to worry about it too much, date people here and there and if it gets serious then great, if not no biggie. For me, I think it's important to focus on myself in my 20s. There are some good reasons for being single, like not having to factor someone else into your plans. For example, I tend to think that I wouldn't travel as much as I do now if I had to worry about sharing my income with someone else. I'm considering a big move in the future and I'm kind of glad online dating is finding me some duds, lol. Life is not cookie cutter, what works for some does not always work for others.

 

[StephMK]

Aw, you sound just like my DD19. I don't think it's odd though I know she gets disappointed about it. She has not gone out on a date or had a BF yet either. I know it bothers her though a few of her closest friends have not dated much either. She went to a large HS so it wasn't a matter of not having the inventory of guys. She is a pretty girl but very shy.

She goes to college parties and did text a bit with a guy she had a crush on but it never went anywhere. I'm hoping someone will click for her this year. She has said (to me only) that she'd be happy to find one person and end up marrying them so who knows.

Sometimes I just think you have to wait to find the right guy. While I wish someone would work out for her, I tell her she just has to be patient.

 

[disneylovin24]

I didn't have my first 'real' boyfriend until I was 18...almost 19. It lasted 6 months.....6 months too long Then had another boyfriend but also short term and finally met my DH. I have no good excuse...boys just didn't like me in HS. All good though.

This is how I felt but I kind of blame the boys more I went to a preppy private school and everyone was just feel of themselves blah blah blah. Yeah boys didn't like me but I look at them now and think I didn't want those boys to like me anyway

To the young girls worrying about being single: I was 18/college freshman when I got my first boyfriend. I have dated on and off but never anything as serious as that was. I think my issue is that my closest friends have always typically been guys and so it's almost like I'm already in couple mode with guys minus the physical part of it.

I think it's better not to worry about it too much, date people here and there and if it gets serious then great, if not no biggie. For me, I think it's important to focus on myself in my 20s. There are some good reasons for being single, like not having to factor someone else into your plans. For example, I tend to think that I wouldn't travel as much as I do now if I had to worry about sharing my income with someone else. I'm considering a big move in the future and I'm kind of glad online dating is finding me some duds, lol. Life is not cookie cutter, what works for some does not always work for others.

I definitely love being single and have a career in mind where I would travel a lot and move a lot and I know it'll be good being single with all that. However, it's just concerning sometimes that guys show no interest in me. It might sound shallow, but I would like some attention sometimes.

 

[sksjasams]

My first and only boyfriend was my DH. We started dating when I was 25...old by many standards, I know! We have been together for 22 years and married for almost 18.

My deal in high school and college was that I always had some unattainable guy I was completely focused on. I had no interest at all in any guy that liked me. I was too busy pining away for the guy who didn't like me "that way" or was already taken. Why? Who knows...probably immaturity. I definitely sometimes wish I had done things differently, but oh well, it all worked out in the end.

DH was persistent, and I fell in love with him!

OP, don't worry! You are SO young...really!! You will find your love - just give it time!

 

[superme80]

I had a few brief relationships, but had my first serious relationship my senior year of high school. One more after him and a few short dates and week long "relationships" until I met DH at 26. He was my longest relationship. It last longer than 4 months!

OP I wouldn't worry about it. You are still young. Enjoy being young and single!