Raulandpinboy
<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2001
- Messages
- 1,705
How do you know when you're staying in a Florida hotel? When
you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."
******
An Florida State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-4 and
says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "'Bout what?"
******
Two Floridians are walking toward each other, and one is
carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?" "Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK. Ummmmm okay...five?"
******
An Floridian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed
next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
******
Why do folks in Florida go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or
more? Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
******
Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob
tells Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Sue didn't get pregnant again." Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year
that's different?" Billy Bob says, Im going to Disney World, but "This year I'm taking Betty Sue WITH me."
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
******
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Florida to
32? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Florida? Documentaries.
******
Where was the toothbrush invented? Florida. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the new instant $3,000,000 Florida State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in Florida so that when a
couple gets divorced, they go back to being brother and sister.
I thought this was in Arkansas???? how did Florida end up with it?
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a
hurricane in Florida have in common? No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."
******
An Florida State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-4 and
says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "'Bout what?"
******
Two Floridians are walking toward each other, and one is
carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?" "Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK. Ummmmm okay...five?"
******
An Floridian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed
next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?" "Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
******
Why do folks in Florida go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or
more? Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
******
Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob
tells Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Betty Sue got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Sue didn't get pregnant again." Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year
that's different?" Billy Bob says, Im going to Disney World, but "This year I'm taking Betty Sue WITH me."
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
******
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Florida to
32? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Florida? Documentaries.
******
Where was the toothbrush invented? Florida. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the new instant $3,000,000 Florida State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in Florida so that when a
couple gets divorced, they go back to being brother and sister.
I thought this was in Arkansas???? how did Florida end up with it?
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a
hurricane in Florida have in common? No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
