Female issues, M/C (feeling sorry for myself)

[Hillbeans]

I haven't written much if at all in the past week. I want to say this just to help me start to move forward and heal.

I am going to state that I know i'm already very lucky and fortunate to have one healthy, active and loving 3 yo that means the world to me, however i've had the most horrible few days that I just don't even know what way i'm going anymore.

I had a M/C 2 weeks ago. My 3rd M/C since last July. I had no problems getting PG with # 1 and this whole ordeal has been about more than I can bear. Last week I went for an U/S and things looked good and I was told that the M/C was complete. That was until last Saturday when things seemed to start right back up again. It wasn't bad until Monday AM as I got into work. Apparently the U/S wasn't right because I soon started hemmorraging at work and needed to be driven home by my co-worker, brought to the Drs by my husband, and almost sedated by the nurse because I was bleeding so badly I couldn't even walk. The Dr. gave me Methergine, which is what pregnant women are given after delivering a baby. I soon went home, and my very caring Dr called me about 3 more times that day and reassured me i'd be ok.

It's now 14 days after the start of my M/C and it still isn't over. When I look at a pregnant woman I get so depressed I can barely function. My best friend just found out she's pregnant and i'm happy for her but so sad for myself. I don't even know if I want to even try again because this pain i'm feeling, physically and emotionally, is almost too much to bear. I did go for a slew of bloodwork last week and i'm going back next week for another check-up and a meeting about my test results. My husband tries to understand what i'm going through, however I feel this huge distance between us growing by the day.

I know time heals wounds, but at what point is it time to just say enough is enough. Why is my body doing this to me? I hate feeling sorry for myself, but each time I try to snap out of it, I am reminded by what's all around me what I just can't seem to have.

Well, I do feel better just getting this off my chest. I obviously don't know the answers and don't know what life has in store for me down the road. If you're still reading this, thanks for sticking through my story this far.

 

[gshoemate]

Sending hugs your way

I kind of know what you are going through. I went into preterm labor with my DS, the doctor said if I try to have another, it will happen again and we may not be able to stop it. It's hard to see someone pregnant and not get a knot in your stomach. I would follow through on the tests. There are plenty of people that have M/C and it is amazing what doctors can do and find out these days.

 

[Trish5768]

's.

 

[Jennifer S]

I can relate to what you are going through. I had a miscarriage 4 years ago. I too had a 3 year old at the time. It stinks and there is nothing that anyone can say that will make you feel better. I went to Disney, bought new clothes, etc. Nothing helped. I did have another beautiful child and you will too. It just takes time. Just know you will get through this and I'm sure you have great friends and family. Just take one day at a time and know it you won't feel like this forever.

My husband couldn't really relate either. It's hard when it's your body. Just try to keep talking.

Best of luck to you!! I'll say a prayer tonight for you.

 

[Microcell]

I can't imagine how you are feeling as I have never miscarried myself, but my sister has three times .

I will agree that you deserve to feel sorry for yourself for a while but remember that your Dh and your baby that is here need you. Just have a heart to heart with him and let him know you want to get out of this depression, but it is normal with all the hormones you have and ask for his patience.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just adding to my good wishes and 's of a couple weeks ago, Hillbeans, so sorry your are going through this. My best for you and hubby.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

 

[meeshi]

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I have no words of wisdom, but I wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you.

 

[Hillbeans]

Thank you everyone for the kind words.

 

[littleclover]

My thoughts are with you and I will keep you in my prayers this evening. My only suggestion...take the time to heal yourself, physically, emotionally, as a mother, wife and woman. I truly believe the higher up does not give us more than what we can handle.

 

[Pooh67_68]

 

[Hollyann]

All the best. I can only imagine what you are going through. Children are a miracle from the minute they are concieved. You deserve the time to grieve. You'll be in my prayers.

 

[vald1977]

I will be thinking of you.

 

[grlpwrd]

I know how it is, too... I suffered a m/c in April 1997. I don't think you can ever get over the loss of a child. It's tough. Have you thought about some grief counseling? It might help you .. but I know it's hard right now. Take care!

I'll be praying for you all...

 

[WeluvDisney2]

Hillbeans, I am so sorry you are going through this. I miscarried 6 years ago on the day my first child started Kindergarten. I was so sad, I felt like I was "loosing" two babies at once. That may sound really corny, but as a mom you may understand.
Go for the tests, and do not rush yourself to get pregnant again, but leave your options open. Since then I have been able to have 2 more healthy children. I took progesterone with one of them due to having low levels. There are all kinds of things that can cause miscarriages, but at least now there are many things that can be done to prevent them. Also, Love your husband, and allow him to Love you. You will get through this. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Hugs, Monique

 

[NHAnn]

So sorry you're going through this.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Sending out (((((hugs))))) to you. I also M/C twice when we were trying to get pregnant the 2nd time around. I too had no complications with my DS. I understand it is very frustrating. And having a M/C is a very very emotional experience. Sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to.

 

[decker96]

I'm so sorry for all you are going through. I've never had a miscarriage myself, but my sister had one two years ago. I know how hard it is. Don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself. You have every right to grieve what has happened. s to you.

 

[llij]

Hillbeans,

First I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. I miscarried three times (twice before I had my first daughter). It was devasting and I really felt hopeless after the second miscarriage that I would never have a child.

Have you had any testing done to determine if there is a cause to your miscarrying? After the 2nd m/c, my doctor did a complete work-up to rule stuff out and try to figure out what was going on. Also, you mentioned that you are still having after effects from the m/c. Did the doctor mention anything about a DNC? I needed one after my first m/c and I know of friends who tried to m/c naturally, but had to have one due to complications. If you aren't feeling better soon, check back with the doctors on this one.

I'll say a prayer for you. I understand your pain. What helped me was to talk about it with friends and family. My husband didn't understand my pain and that was a little tough, but we got through it. I also felt better writing about how I felt. It was sort of therapeutic. It's been 10 years since my first m/c and I still remember it like it was yesterday.

Sending best wishes your way......

 

[binny]

(((Hugs)))

Im truly sorry for your loss. As someone who has been down the same road I share your grief. Time does make it easier.

You and your family will be in my prayers.
May God truly bless you all.