Fellow Disers, do people in your life always want you to do work for them for free?

[Redpepperflakes14]

I'm not talking husbands, kids and pets though, because working for free for them is a given!

In a past life, I was a writer and editor (as in, I have a degree in journalism, I worked for a company and received a paycheck for writing/editing I still love to write, but it's mostly for fun now.) I have a friend who started a web design business. When she started up, I didn't mind helping her with the content from her clients on occasion while she got her business up and running with the express condition that once she built up her clientele, she would have to begin paying for my services. A year later, she's bragging of the thousand dollar contracts she's got lined up, and though I've given her my extremely low rate for editing services, she still looks to me to 'look over this site' or tell her 'what I think' of another -- i.e. edit the numerous pages for her clients. I have explained to her that true editors don't spend only 10 or 15 minutes going over someone's writing -- that it is actual work. It's also pretty funny to me that she tries to get me to do my thing with the 'Oh, but this person really values your opinion,' or 'But you're so good at this!' Platitudes don't pay my student loans or car note.

At one point, when she wanted to pick my brain about a site's terrible content, I had to tell her that I didn't feel comfortable with going over the pages and pages of horrible writing without being paid. She backed off and there were no hard feelings -- then this week, I learn she's volunteered me to read over some grant essay for her mother! Because I like her mom, I read over the four page essay (and seriously, this thing needed a lot of work -- it took me three hours to go through it and make corrections and suggestions, all of which she used.) I gently let my friend know that this was the last gratis work I will do for her, her other friends, her clients or her family members again.

Another sort of similar incident I can think of involved a non-profit I volunteer with. They were looking to upgrade their website and sent out the test pages for review to volunteer council, of which I am a member (they explicitly asked for corrections and comments on the look, feel, text, etc. for the pages they were planning to put online.) Well, the test pages were a mess and other volunteers were making comments about how we could not put them on the WWW. I went through each page and corrected the information for spelling, grammar, etc. as best I could. I didn't ask for compensation for this hours-long undertaking that no one else would even touch, but I didn't even get so much as a thank you. In fact, they seemed miffed that they had to go back in and make the changes even though they'd asked for the suggestions! I was really surprised that they seemed so put upon.

So creative types (or anyone for that matter) have you had issues with people thinking what you do isn't real work and that you live to be their on-call (fill in the blank) at all times? With the exception of the volunteer organization, since I took it upon myself to help fix it, I know my problem is not being assertive enough. How have you all handled these situations? I don't think I'm being at all unreasonable with my friend.

Disclaimer -- I know I've written about my past as an editor. I am not a perfect person, so please don't flame me if you come across any typos. I wrote this kind of fast.

 

[JimmyPicker]

I think all of us have been put upon at one time or another. In a way, it's a compliment since your friend obviously thinks you're good at something and values your opinion.

But when it becomes a full time job, enough begins to be enough. Kindly say, "I'm so sorry, but I don't have time to take on this project right now."

Hopefully, they'll get the hint.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am not an editor by profession but I do a lot of writing, have a bit of a talent for it, do have written some articles for my professional journals etc.

I have one person who asks me to edit all the time. It's not something I charge for, again, because I am not an editor by profession nor do I claim to be. But I have sometimes spent hours editing stuff for this person, editing her kid's college essay (which frankly, if the kid is that bad of a writer he should probably think twice about college!) and so forth. Now, at work, she recommends me for editing so I am geting the same thing..."can you just peek at this?".

 

[Silent1CB]

I think when someone sends you something to review, reply with my hourly rates are $xxx & I estimate it will take me xx hours to review your work. Would you wish for me to proceed?

Just because someone sends it to you & asks for a reveiw, doesn't mean you have to do it? My DH has the same problem saying no or stating charges for computer repair work.

 

[Redpepperflakes14]

I think all of us have been put upon at one time or another. In a way, it's a compliment since your friend obviously thinks you're good at something and values your opinion.

But when it becomes a full time job, enough begins to be enough. Kindly say, "I'm so sorry, but I don't have time to take on this project right now."

Hopefully, they'll get the hint.

Yep, it was flattering for maybe the first 40 times. I guess I'm just thickheaded and late to think 'hey, I should be getting something for my hard work!'

I am not an editor by profession but I do a lot of writing, have a bit of a talent for it, do have written some articles for my professional journals etc.

I have one person who asks me to edit all the time. It's not something I charge for, again, because I am not an editor by profession nor do I claim to be. But I have sometimes spent hours editing stuff for this person, editing her kid's college essay (which frankly, if the kid is that bad of a writer he should probably think twice about college!) and so forth. Now, at work, she recommends me for editing so I am geting the same thing..."can you just peek at this?".

You feel my pain. People can be like kittens to a dish of milk when they know you have proficiency in something.

I think when someone sends you something to review, reply with my hourly rates are $xxx & I estimate it will take me xx hours to review your work. Would you wish for me to proceed?

Just because someone sends it to you & asks for a reveiw, doesn't mean you have to do it? My DH has the same problem saying no or stating charges for computer repair work.

I am so stealing this.

I knew fellow Disers would understand!

 

[Robinrs]

People send me things to edit ALL the time. They have since I was in college and an English Major. I guess since it doesn't take up much of my time I don't mind doing it.

My other Free thing is my voice. I am asked to do voice overs for everything from answering machines to complete commercials. It DOES get annoying because I could ask for money but sometimes it depends on who's asking.

 

[SetzKitten]

Oh, this is THE topic that makes my head explode! People always want, and expect, me to do work for them for free. I am a computer tech in the local school district. Almost every house on our street has kids in school, every kid has a computer to do school work, and they all hit me up to fix them. I don't even get out of my car from coming home from work and they're lined up griping about some assignment that needs to be done immediately and can I drop everything and help them.

Once I came home from work and there were 2 computers sitting in my living room. I asked DH where they came from and he said "Paula brought them over to be fixed." I told him I didn't know a "Paula" and he said she had just moved into the house at the end of the street. I never even met her and she was giving me work to do. I told him to take them back.

It really got out of control last year and I had to put my foot down and tell them I just didn't have the free cycles to do repair at home, they could go to the geek squad or take their kid to the library if it was an emergency. I hated to be mean, but I was being bombarded with requests and after a very long day at work, I just wanted to come home, do my chores and chill out with DH.

 

[agnes!]

People send me things to edit ALL the time. They have since I was in college and an English Major. I guess since it doesn't take up much of my time I don't mind doing it.

My other Free thing is my voice. I am asked to do voice overs for everything from answering machines to complete commercials. It DOES get annoying because I could ask for money but sometimes it depends on who's asking.

Stop the annoyance, go ahead and ask for that money! You've been in media, you know what the rates, even non-union, can be. Why are you giving away so many of your talents for free? Sure sounds like your acquaintances are happy to make money for themselves off of you.

Hey, just think of it this way...they're stealing money away from your own son, maybe from his college fund. (<<--I mention that because I personally won't always stick up for myself, but if I think anyone is taking advantage of my family it's a motivator for me to change the situation.)

agnes!

 

[Iri920]

Luckily I haven't had this happen to me yet. I have asked for people for their services but usually we trade services/favors and I really try not to ask them too much.

People don't value things that are free so I would definately start charging them at least a "family rate" or something.

 

[1stluvispooh]

My husband has this happen to him all the time. Although it honestly bothers me more than it bothers him. In his case it bothers me because it is taking away what little time we have together as a family and as a couple. The worst culprits are his family. DH is a soft ware engineer and whenever anyone has a problem with their computer they call him but only after they have buggered it up so bad. Then they expect him to fix it over the phone and for free!!! These are the same people who expect us to pay for their service Drives me nuts so yes OP I feel your pain.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Quite the opposite. From time to time friends have asked me to help them with things (contract review, setting up corporations, etc.) and I've been willing. They've always offered to pay, or at least take me out to dinner. I've always said it wasn't necessary, but they do something nice anyhow. DH and I have been helping another friend teach one of his fencing classes for years now. I've told him again and again that we do it for love of the sport (and because we enjoy spending time with him) and he doesn't need to pay us, but he does. I refuse to take his money, but he gives it to DH.

Now mind you, if they wanted me to do something regularly that took a lot of time...well, maybe I would look for something in return.

 

[GeorgeG]

I get this a lot. I don't mind helping friends now and then, but there are many clubs and organizations around here who expect to get free (or cheap) musicians and bands. Yes, there are plenty who do this as a hobby, but a lot of us also play professionally. Sometimes people don't understand when I choose paying gigs over their free gigs. I do both, but the paying gigs are a priority over the others. The instruments and equipment we use are expensive and usually require some maintaining and replacement (I just had to replace a bass amp). Quality music requires quality musicians with quality equipment so yes, it's going to cost more than the wannabe with the karaoke kit they got at Walmart. Even a good DJ has thousands invested in equipment.

 

[Redpepperflakes14]

People send me things to edit ALL the time. They have since I was in college and an English Major. I guess since it doesn't take up much of my time I don't mind doing it.

My other Free thing is my voice. I am asked to do voice overs for everything from answering machines to complete commercials. It DOES get annoying because I could ask for money but sometimes it depends on who's asking.

I hope they at least offered you a sample of the product you were doing the voiceover work for!

Oh, this is THE topic that makes my head explode! People always want, and expect, me to do work for them for free. I am a computer tech in the local school district. Almost every house on our street has kids in school, every kid has a computer to do school work, and they all hit me up to fix them. I don't even get out of my car from coming home from work and they're lined up griping about some assignment that needs to be done immediately and can I drop everything and help them.

Once I came home from work and there were 2 computers sitting in my living room. I asked DH where they came from and he said "Paula brought them over to be fixed." I told him I didn't know a "Paula" and he said she had just moved into the house at the end of the street. I never even met her and she was giving me work to do. I told him to take them back.

It really got out of control last year and I had to put my foot down and tell them I just didn't have the free cycles to do repair at home, they could go to the geek squad or take their kid to the library if it was an emergency. I hated to be mean, but I was being bombarded with requests and after a very long day at work, I just wanted to come home, do my chores and chill out with DH.

Yikes. The gall some people have! She didn't even know you and thought it was ok to drop off not one, but two broken computers! One of the other neighbors probably told her it was ok -- don't you just love it when people volunteer your services before even speaking to you? I also love the 'I need it back immediately' urgency because your neighbor's kid had an assignment due. My friend tried to pull that 'deadline' nonsense on me once too.

It might not be so bad if there was even a token offering -- a plate of cookies or something, but I guess some don't think in those terms. Heck, even in my poor college student days, I would scrape together my pennies to bring lunch for a professor whom I would ask to write recommendations for me. It just seemed like a nice gesture and I didn't feel like I was taking advantage of her kindness.

 

[MushyMushy]

I have the opposite problem! People offer to pay me for things, but I always feel like I need to do it for free because I can (tutoring, helping people with computers, resumes, papers, etc). It would be nice to earn money for it, but I don't feel right taking it from friends!

 

[Redpepperflakes14]

People send me things to edit ALL the time. They have since I was in college and an English Major. I guess since it doesn't take up much of my time I don't mind doing it.

My other Free thing is my voice. I am asked to do voice overs for everything from answering machines to complete commercials. It DOES get annoying because I could ask for money but sometimes it depends on who's asking.

I forgot to add, I completely agree with the bolded part of your statement Robin. I don't mind doing an editing favor every now and again, especially for someone who doesn't make it a habit of always needing 'a little (re:tons of) help.'

When someone starts to expect it though, and they're running a money-making operation and I'm making this person look good for their clients while getting nothing for spending hours fixing 30+ pages of content, that's when it becomes a little annoying to me.

 

[ZPT1022]

DH gets this all the time. He has a bunch of computer certifications (it's all greek to me, no idea on the specifics) and now he works for the cable company doing repairs and such. EVERYONE expects him to just do all their computer and cable/phone/internet needs. He doesn't mind occasionally, and if it's something simple, like the time my mom needed a small interior wire replaced, he didn't want to see her get charged for something that took him 20 minutes, but everyone else? Annoying. The expectation is just that since he has the skills and tools that he should of course be willing and able to help! We have limited family/couple time due to his crazy schedule so it stinks to have it infringed upon. The funniest one has to be people asking him about their bills- he has no idea, he doesn't touch that side of things! LOL!

I'm a stay at home mom so I just tend to get the "Oh, you have plenty of free time" kind of stuff like- can you wait for my furniture delivery,carpet installation, plumber, etc.... um.....no! Or at the very least don't assume I'm available and want to do it- ask and at least say thank you. Nor do I want to watch your sick kid so you don't have to take a day off of work! Your kid, you deal. I don't really need whatever stomach flu or what have you making the rounds through my family!

 

[Robinrs]

Stop the annoyance, go ahead and ask for that money! You've been in media, you know what the rates, even non-union, can be. Why are you giving away so many of your talents for free? Sure sounds like your acquaintances are happy to make money for themselves off of you.

Hey, just think of it this way...they're stealing money away from your own son, maybe from his college fund. (<<--I mention that because I personally won't always stick up for myself, but if I think anyone is taking advantage of my family it's a motivator for me to change the situation.)

agnes!

Wow, agnes!! Yes, you are right but like I said it depends on who it is.

I hope they at least offered you a sample of the product you were doing the voiceover work for!

This is part of the deal. I have some AMAZING tapes!!

I forgot to add, I completely agree with the bolded part of your statement Robin. I don't mind doing an editing favor every now and again, especially for someone who doesn't make it a habit of always needing 'a little (re:tons of) help.'

Definitely. I consider my talent a gift and sometimes our gifts are meant to be given away. Not to the point that they make you feel used or abused but for those you care about and have a give and take relationship with.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I have nothing to offer, so I don't get bothered.

I get annoyed though when other folks who do take advantage of someone's connections or talents suggest to me that I should do the same. (I.e. my sister volunteering my brother's disney employment for tickets.)

I am just not into using people.