Feeling Sad, Need a Pick Me Up

[kathleena]

I was doing so well. See my 20lb marker below?

Then I got very sick...................

I was diagnosed with Graves Hyperthyroidism in March. Now, some might say - wow hyper thyroid - I sure would like to lose some weight. But let me tell you............

30% of hyperthyroid patients don't lose weight at first - they gain it! Why? Because 1) the thyroid and metabolism are screwed up, in my case for years before I was diagnosed and 2) hyperthyroid increases your appetite. Yup. All that lack of control I thought I had - a lot of it was thyroid related.

Plus - the effect on my heart has been enormous! Awful heart palpitations. Resting heartrate of 120 when I was at the worst stage - and I was considered a MILD case.

So, this is why it was so hard for me to lose weight and now that I'm on anti-thyroid drugs - my thyroid is so shut down that I have gained all of the weight back. One of the markers that you are getting better is weight gain - they expect it!!!! Plus, I'm so weak from the muscle and heart involvement that I can't exercise. Yikes, I have the double whammy.

So I'm told - don't worry - you can lose the weight again after you are stabilized. Whaaaaaaa! Great - and what do I do about all the tight clothes in the meantime.

I'm still getting better, but it's very slow. In April, I couldn't even work I was so sick. Now I can walk 2 miles at a moderate pace (maybe 24 minutes/mile). Tuesday I walked almost 3 miles, but then Wed I didn't think I would make it 2 miles. It took an hour for my heart rate to go down from 100 to 80 after that two miles. It seems to go back and forth - good days, bad days. I was hoping I would be up to 4 miles/hour by now so I could start training for January WISH Walkers, but I don't think there is much chance I will be able to train in time to make it 13 miles........................

<sigh> Those of you who have lost your mother will understand this - I want my Mom!!!! I want to talk to her in the way that only she could talk to me. Can someone here who understands that please talk to me????

Thanks for letting me let this out. I feel better already.

 

[Hollyann]

Hi Kathleena,

I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis....it's Grave's disease, if I'm reading it correctly, right? I have a friend who's had it for some time. She had a difficult time at first, too. I lost my mother when I was 16 years old, so I know how you feel, there are days....

I read your entire post (twice) and the one thing that I noticed - is you have a light at the end of the tunnel! It may take some time, but losing weight takes time anyway. You wrote that one of the markers that you're getting better is weight gain - so at this point in your life, despite the fact you may not want it - weight gain is what you NEED.

Battling weight is a lifetime endeavor anyway! While I don't have Graves disease, I'm pre-diabetic and have learned that you'll have good days and bad days. Let the good days get you through.

How marvelous that you are up to walking 2 & 3 miles! I know people who don't have any diseases at all that can't (or won't) walk that!

You're on the right track, you realize that you need to continue to maintain your weight and stay as healthy as you can. You also seem to be measuring your heartbeat regularly. Progression will come and I know all the WISHer's are pulling for you.

Keep posting and let us know how you're doing....best of luck.

 

[eeyore45]

just wanted to stop by and add my encouragement....

There are days like that for me too!! Different kinda days - I'm battling something different - hypoglycemia, its so hard!! I get dizzy and I quit,, and just eat food, I turn to food for so many reasons... and I know better, its so hard to do better!!

I wish I had the memories of my mom that you have of yours - does that make sense? My mom can be so mean, she told me I spoil my dd and DO NOT come visit her this weekend, my bro and his family drove from TX, thought I could drive 7 hours to visit,

dont know if I'm helping you at all.... I just get so frustrated, just like knowing I'm not alone, together we can do anything... never give up, take one day at a time.... someone emailed this to me, maybe it can help you too...

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.

He raised a glass of water and asked the audience,

"How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

"It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold
it.

If I hold it for a minute, it is OK.

If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it
becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able
to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier."

"What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before
holding it up again."

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and
are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a
moment if you can.

Pick it up again later when you have rested...

Rest and relax.

Life is short, enjoy it!! WORDS TO LIVE BY

Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look
good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that
can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing
worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If you can't be kind, at least have the
decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20, and never see
that person again, it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the
same time, because then you don't
have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird,
so sleep late.

When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.

You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty, some
are dull, some have weird names, and
all are different colors but they all
have to learn to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can
enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.

Have an awesome day, and know that
someone has thought about you today...

Today is a gift... that's why it's called the present

 

[ibouncetoo]

Originally posted by kathleena
I was hoping I would be up to 4 miles/hour by now so I could start training for January WISH Walkers, but I don't think there is much chance I will be able to train in time to make it 13 miles........................

<sigh> Those of you who have lost your mother will understand this - I want my Mom!!!! I want to talk to her in the way that only she could talk to me. Can someone here who understands that please talk to me????

Thanks for letting me let this out. I feel better already.

OK, this was a little spooky. I had just opened this thread, and while it was 'loading' went to the kitchen for more decaf. While there I was wishing my mom was here! (She's been gone 13 years). I've lost focus lately, both with eating and exercising, and was wishing for her encouragement and guidance. The lovely thing about WISH, is we can fill the role for each other.....the unconditional love of a parent, the encouragement of a friend, the guidance of a coach. Some days I just want somebody to come over and SMACK me! LOL. Oh, I have a sister that can do that!

Regarding the 1/2 marathon. The SUCCESS comes in getting to the starting line. Anything can happen in any given race on any given day (and probably will). If you've registered for the 1/2 marathon, please come and start. Crossing that starting line is a HUGE accomplishment. Getting a medal for completing in the time frame is just a bonus. To me, it's about participating.....and not just participating in a race, but being an ACTIVE participant in my own LIFE. So, please keep the idea of the marathon in your mind as you work your way back to health. Come START with us!

 

[Princess Michelle]

I'm so sorry Kathleena. While I don't have Graves disease a close friend of my mom's does and I've seen her struggle for years. I am able to sympathize with a health problem hindering your desire to lose weight and get in shape though. It's very frustrating.

I really don't have any advice but I do hope that you are able to get stabilized soon and take the steps to achieve your desired goals. It sounds like you are really trying inspite of your limitations and that is wonderful.

 

[July]

Kathleena,
Wow, I am so sorry but I know exactly how you feel. When I went to the doctor on June 16th he told me I was hyper thyroid. I have always been borderline. Which I always thought was funny cause I am overweight. Well I didn't use to be 12 years ago. Anyways, he wants to check me again in 3 months to see how I am doing (heart, TSH levels, goiter so on so on). The thing is I had gained 15 pounds.
So gosh I know how it feels. At my highest weight I weighed 203. I lost down to 145. Then yo yo my way back to the 175 mark and was maintaining that area. Yikes I was at 190 only 13 lbs away from my highest weight. So girl you are not alone.
I am here with you. We will plug along slowly slowly.
Health is 1st, then the weight.
Come on chin up you can do it! ( That's what your MOM would say)
Ok I'm gonna expect to see a smile.
That's it.

July

 

[DoeWDW]

Kathleena, I love Jackie's (ibouncetoo) idea! If you can possibly still make the trip to the half marathon, please START with us! When it gets too tough to continue, gracefully and gratefully get on the bus and be there at the finish line to cheer us on, if you have the energy!

Life throws us curves, Kathleena, and we have to adjust our plans. I know you've been working hard to lose the weight, but you've been thrown a curve. For your health, you need to take a bit of a detour and gain weight first - it's OK! WISH stands for We're Inspired to Stay Healthy and for you, right now, gaining weight is what will show you are getting healthier.

You can still choose which types of food you eat, right? You can choose to feed your body healthy food or junky food. I know we can't always pass up the junky food, but make an effort to feed your body nutritious food as much as possible, OK??

Please keep us posted on how it's going! We're cheering you on!

,
Doreen

 

[kathleena]

You know, after I posted and I thought about it. What went through my mind was - how amazing is it that we can post on a board, somewhere out in cyberspace, talking to people we don't know, issuing sometimes random thoughts and words that maybe we don't even say to our families, and someone, somewhere, will answer us with a kind word, a cyberhug, an encouraging thought - and give us something that we need to ease our hearts.

So from the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you all for giving me your thoughts (and in the case of eeyore45 - some laughs too). It has put my mind in a different kind of place, where it needed to go.

Hollyann - you are right - when I'm feeling down, I need to remember how far I've come back and hold to that. I actually know now that last week must have just been a bad week. I feel better this week. Who knows why our bodies float the way they do?

Eeyore45 - when I lost my mom, the times when I got angry, I tried to calm myself by reminding myself of everyone who didn't know their mom, or lost them younger, or weren't close to their moms. I guess I was thinking of you! Thanks for all the thoughts.

ibouncetoo - you must know what I mean when I say that sometimes I just shout to the room - Mom, I miss you!!!! because I just can't stand not having her here. There is no one in my life who relates to me like she did.

Princess Michelle - thank you. And I hope your mom's friend stays healthy.

July - please PM me if you want to talk thyroid. Find out what tests the doc took, the numbers and the lab ranges. I wouldn't let him wait 3 months - he needs to check you in six weeks. You gain weight with hyper because it increases your appetite. And your weight history is the same as mine. I was 115-120 lbs until 1993 and then 20lbs came on for no reason. Then up to 210 by 199, then down to 140 in 11 months, but it was hard. Then up to 170 and then I lost 20lbs last summer. I have felt that I have had a thyroid problem for 10 years or so.

DoeWDW - I will think about it. I haven't given up my spot yet, so there is still a chance I could do it. I think I have already set my mind to not doing it - I'm not sure how my own ego would fare with not finishing - if you know what I mean?

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate this.

Oh, and what my mom would say is this - "I believe everything happens for a reason, dear. You just need to persevere and look for the opportunities. You will figure it all out."

 

[nancyj_pa]

Kathleena,
My name is Nancy and I got Graves' Disease about 13 years ago. I had the same rapid heart beat as you, but I did lose a little weight and could eat pretty much what I wanted without gaining for the first time in my life. But when I was diagnosed, I had to go on medication for thyroid and for my heart. It was really scary.

I finally had to get radioactive iodine treatment because the medication wasn't doing the job. I didn't want surgery. The doctor told me the right dosage would pretty much cure it, but a bit too much would destroy the thyroid and not enough would make me have to have the procedure done again. After a lot of scans, etc. I had the radioactive treatment (I had to use my own private bathroom for a couple of days and not go near pregnant women). Anyway, to make a long story short, I got a bit too much and have to take synthroid for the rest of my life. My metabolism stinks! I gained about 6 pounds a year every since. However, I did manage to lose 25 pounds from August to January by low carbing and exercising. I'm still low carbing and exercising, but haven't lost any more yet.

It is frustrating! Read my journal at the top of the boards. Let me know if you want any further information.

By the way, I lost my mom twice. When I was 24 she developed early onset Alzheimer's Disease (she was only 54), and she died 10 years later. It's been 23 years now, but I still miss her.

Nancy J

 

[nancyj_pa]

Hi Kathleena,
I realize my post sounded a bit depressing. I should have said you will feel so much better as soon as you are stabilized. Except for the slow metabolism, I have felt wonderful and have had no health problems since then. I can walk, exercise, etc. and you should have no problem with the marathon.

I am now considered hypothyroid. The doctor said that increased exercise will speed up the metabolism. It's difficult when you're older to do a lot more, I know. It just doesn't seem fair sometimes when because of a thyroid disease you can't eat as much as others to maintain your weight. My friends all eat more than I do without problems. But you have to count your blessings and realize that many people have conditions that medication can't control. I consider myself healthy, just overweight. I hope that I will lose more weight. It's just going to take my a little longer than most.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Just being a part of WISH will help you realize that you have many friends here who are willing to help you through positive feedback and just letting you get things off your chest.

Nancy J