Fears/worries before having a baby?

[Grendalynn]

For already being nervouse about it - you are being a good mom already! You are aware, concious (sp?), and concerned for your unborn/uncreated child! I know many women who look at motherhood as a game, a reason to shop or play dress up or because everyone else is doing it!

If you have considered being a mom, chances are you will be and want to be a mom, and a good one at that. I have 3 little boys and wouldnt change my life for anything - ok, maybe winning POwerball or somehting, but thats about it! I cant imagine my life any other way or with my kids!

My feeling on having babys is this: If you wait til your ready or can afford them, you'll never have them. There is NO perfect time, your checking account is NEVER big enough, and you are never REALLY ready. Men are the same way... and believe me - once you decide to "start trying" they looove practicing!

You will only be YOU if you so allow it. Yes, the bay will come first, then there is the time with DH, but you also need YOU time. It is usually put on the back burner when the baby is small, but eventually you will find a good balance and everything will work out fine! Best wishes and Good luck to you and DH!

 

[krystalleigh1]

1. Will I be a good mom? I think I'm a good mom but I'm always doubting myself. I'm comfident in every other aspect of my life but as a mother I always wish I could do more. For example, my ds is in preschool and just got his report card. He's doing great but I still have thoughts running through my head like, "should I be working with him more on letters? Should I do this? That?" As a mom you never stop worring about your kids and if you can do more for them.
2. Having a baby changes everything FOREVER. There's no sending it back! do I really want this? Once you meet that little baby there's no way you'll EVER want to send it back. Believe me. You'll fall in love.
3. Will my husband be ready for this? I'm really going to need his help and I hope he steps up to the plate. With my ds (first child) dh was lost. For years he was lost. I did almost everything myself and had to nag him to step in. Now with dd (2 mos old) he's really stepped up and helped (with both kids) a lot. It just takes some time (for some men longer than others) to become confident about being a father. My dh has always been a great dad but not a great help (until recently) when it comes to the kids.
4. Will I be able to juggle work/school (I'm thinking of going back)/baby/and keeping a healthy relationship with my husband? It's not the easiest thing in the world but can be done. I just got my ECE degree in May (3 months before having dd) and it's definitely do able. You may have to work less or go to school part time but it can definitely be done.
5. Do my husband and I really need to sit down and talk about raising children and how we want to do it? or do we just handle things as they come?I think that you should be on the same page about most issues but also handle things together as they come. The important thing is to make decisions together and back each other up. Of course, with an infant you won't have to worry about discipline issues but you'll have to talk about sleeping arrangements, feeding plans, etc. It's important that he backs you up and vice versa.


How many of you REALLY thought about it a lot before you went through with it? do you wish you hadn't thought about it so much? We thought about kids for 4 years after getting married. I know that dosen't seem like too long but all of our relatives were convinced we weren't having any. I had the same concerns as you but they really do find a way to work themselves out. I'm so glad we did decide to have kids. It's the most important thing I've ever done and most rewarding by far. This is how I looked at it, "When you are dead and gone what will matter most? Your career accomplishments? Your educational achievements? Nope. It will be the time you spend with your family and what kind of impact you've made in their lives. When I die who will remember me? My co-workers won't neither will my professors. But my kids will remember all of the love I gave to them and that will matter more than anything else."

how did you get over all of these fears/worries?With kids there are always worries. New worries will replace old ones. LOL. But that just shows that you care.[/QUOTE]