Fear of flying.....

[Amy&Dan]

Wow this is all great advice. I honestly do not think I will EVER get over it. I guess I am stuck with the 24 hour drive. I can't even be a passanger in a car without a panic attack. It's that bad. I am afraid of the loss of control and with the airplanes, crashing. I drove all the way from Michigan to Florida and back. DH did do a little in Michigan and Indiana on the way down because of a bad snow storm but I lost it completely.

Never say never! I had a fear of flying for years. I flew but was always scared and each time was worse and then for 9 years I just refused to fly. I would have nightmares that I was flying and the plane was getting ready to take off and I was screaming, pleading to be let off, you get the picture. I said to everyone I knew, "I will NEVER get on a plane". And I meant it. But then two things happened, 9/11 and my mother almost died from cancer. I decided two things, one was that the terrorists would win in the end if everybody didn't fly and the second was that dying in a plane crash didn't look so bad compared to the hell my Mother was enduring. Kind of strange I know. I have now flown over 10 times in the last 3 years and know I will never be a relaxed flyer but I do it. I also don't want my children to live their lives afraid and unable to experience the joys travelling can bring to them. I take some xanax, take a good book and watch tv and am usually fine. Take off still scares me but not enough to keep me grounded. We leave on Wednesday to fly to DC to see family and while I am nervous I am glad to have this opportunity and it beats driving that far by car! Good luck, you may surprise yourself someday.

 

[abaldacci]

I have flown to France, Spain and London(oversea). I have flown to Las vegas, Texas, N.Y. City.(never afraid) Well It had been quiet a while since the last time I had flown and I had to go to Chicago on a bus. trip. The closer the trip got the more fearful I became. I went to my DR. and told him how many times I had flown and ask him why was I afraid this time.He thought it might have something to do with 9/11 and he would wright a script for Xanax.
I ask if he was sure it would help. He assured me it would. Instruction for the meds was (the morning I get up for the trip take one every hour until relaxed and no axiety). Well I took my first xanax when I got up. I took one every hour for six hours due to wind delay(OH GREAT). When we took off the pilot told us it was going to be bumpy and it was, too. He also told us after we got int the air if we thought the departure was rough wait til we try and land in chicago(I was thinking to my cool and collected xanax to the max self I can deal with this, the xanax was talking you know) Well the women next to me was gripping the arm rest so hard on the landing I thought she would break it (I was fine). She looked over at me and said I'm afraid of flying(like she needed to tell me I reconized the signs. Well needless to say I was very relaxed on that very turbulant flight. When I got to my room I promtly fell asleep and didn't wake until the next morning. I will be using some type of drug this fall for our flight to WDW, but I am less afraid this time than last.
So facing my fear even with drugs is helping the cause. see ya up in

 

[goofyernmost]

You are probably correct that you will never completely get over it. I had a fear of flying and I think it was caused by my Dad. He was a crew chief on a P-47, WWII fighter. He never rode in one because it was either a one seater or two seater, I don't remember which.

He always said that he knew what could go wrong with them so he wasn't getting on one. That, of course, was just an excuse. He knew as well as the rest of us that technology changed hugely since the 40's.

My first flight was a trip to Europe in the mid-sixties. I was painfully nieve about the sounds of jet travel or even that jet usage was fairly new at the time. I must admit to nerviousness and it carried over for many years. That being said, I want to tell you that the sights from up in the air are not duplicated anywhere on land. The tops of the clouds, the oceans little tiny ripples that are actually large waves. I still am a little apprehensive but not really scared. One of the things that helped me is that in the early 90's I took a course in being a travel agent, etc. At the time the industry didn't rely completely on computers to list the possible flights. Instead it was in a huge book with print so small that I needed to buy magnifying glasses to read it. Each line in that small print, 4 inch thick, 8X11 book was a listing of flights for the week, through out the world. There were literally 10's of thousands of flights daily. When you put that into perspective you realize just how safe it must be up there.

A lot of people refer to 9/11 when they feel concern about flying. I don't know if it helps to think about it but out of the 2500 or so people that lost thier lives that terrible day, only about 130 of them were on an airplane. The rest were in a building. Yet, we are not afraid to enter a building.

Also think about the thousands of pilots, flight attendants, etc. that fly practicallly everyday for 30 or 40 years. If they managed to reach retirement, which most all do, it didn't happen by having the plane crash on a regular basis.

In the end, the only way to really overcome it is to do it. Reasonable expection would make it so that you probably will never completely get over the fear or at least the anxioty but when you realize how quickly and effortlessly you can get from place to place it all seems worthwhile.

 

[babar41]

WE always laugh cause Bob Newhart on his seris had a fear of flying workshop and its so fuuny cause it hits home so well!!!

Since I started reading this thread the Bob Newhart show on the fear of flying workshop has been running in my head. Nice to know someone else out there remembers it too. I notice you are from Milwaukee, me too, so maybe it is a Milwaukee thing!

OP, there is nothing anyone here can say to you that will help cure your fear of flying. All any of us can do is give you support and suggestions of ways to help yourself if this is something you want to do. A number of people have suggested tranquilizers, it might help. It also might help to see a doctor and discuss your fear.

I don't like heights. My DH says the degree of accuracy on my walking in the center of any bridge is increased by the height of the bridge. Flying to me is a necessary evil. I have come a long way, I no longer get off the plane and kiss the ground, but I do look at it lovingly.

Best of luck to you. If you choose to work through your fear of flying please let us know. We are all pulling for you. If you choose to drive, that's OK too. We know it isn't easy. Hope you have a magical time!

 

[mariolatry]

I agree with both the sedative and the fearofflying.com advice. The sedative won't stop the fear completely but it will break the panic, fight-or-flight cycle that makes you want to jump up and run off the plane. I've had Xanax, which seems to work the best for me but last time made it with just Atarax (like heavy-duty Benadryl) because I'm pregnant.

The Fear of Flying website is run by a pilot who's also an MSW and it helped me so much to understand exactly the mechanism of flying. It explained how flying works, and what all the pings and dings and bounces and sudden drops mean. I printed out 10 pages from the website and took them with me to review. Once I understood that turbulence was to be expected while rising through certain kinds of clouds (rather than a signal that something was wrong), I could just do my breathing and wait until we got to our cruising altitude.

I also agree with sitting in the front. An aisle seat is better if you're claustrophobic but a window seat is better if you're a control freak (like me) who needs to see everything going on. I also try to avoid flying on small planes.

The trick is, you only need to have one or two successful flights where you don't completely lose it to see yourself and the whole process in a different light. I used to completely panic and I really saw myself as a "Fearful Flyer". Now that I'm pregnant, I told myself "I don't want to pass on a legacy of fear to my child" so I took the responsibility to do what I could to prepare myself. On my last flight, I had a few panicky minutes but I was able to keep my fear from spiralling out of control. I was so proud of myself! Flying still isn't my favorite thing, but I know I can do it.

 

[Skroops]

Whatever you do, don't drink! Drinking only increases your chances of being denied boarding...and the airlines take that very seriously. You won't be able to get on the airplane if you appear to be under the influence (drugs or alchohol).It happens quite often when people are forced to take the next flight after sobering up. That could be more of a disasterous vacation start. Infact, if you chose to use a new drug, be sure to try it before you leave home so that you know you won't have a reaction of some sort in the airport or in the air.
How about some counseling? A counselor can help you get "tools" to conquer your fear. I feel for you, I've had other emotional issues (not fear of flying though) and they aren't easy to work through. Good luck...
Fly! It is soooo much easier.

 

[badbrad25]

FWIW-
Get a MP3 player (my choice is a Dell pocket DJ) and load it up with your favorite songs, trust me it will help. Dont drink alcohol it WON'T help. Bring a good book, I brought something I had already read, front to back, it was a comfort to me. I thought long and hard about all the training the pilots go through and that helped a great deal. Think about the reward at the end of the flight, WDW and all the fun u are gonna have!

 

[WaltD4Me]

While I don't personally understand the fear of flying (I love it...it means I'm going somewhere! ) I do know what my sister goes thru, she HATES to fly. Terrified of it. She was mad at me for weeks a few years ago because when I helped her get airfare to Vegas it wasn't a direct flight and I didn't tell her (BAD, I know!)

Anyway, she does fly because she doesn't want to waste days of a vacation driving, but it's always a trauma for her. She takes a low dose of Xanax too and it really helps her alot. She still isn't happy about flying and still not comfortable, but the Xanax makes it doable for her.

Also, I agree about not drinking. A friend of mine was terrified her 1st time flying and had several drinks before hand. It didn't really help her fear and made her really sick on the plane, which did not help matters at all believe me!