Fear of flying!!

[jondvl]

We are planning a trip to WDW next August. It is a toss up between driving or flying. My wife is afraid to fly.

She wants to drivr and we live in PA ,about a 15 hour drive. I will be doing all the driving so I would rather fly and get there and start enjoying our vacation.

Any thoughts on how to help her relax about flying and to show her flying is better than driving?

 

[jlewisinsyr]

There are over 25,000 commercial flights a day in the US, more world wide.

That means, in the US, there are conservatively over 2 million people moving around a day on a plane. Over a year the number is staggering.

Now divide that by the number of deaths/injuries that are incurred on a plane or by a plane, and you'll find that you're more likely to die on the way to the airport, or even just walking out your door then you are in a plane.

In short, she has an irrational fear. Explanation and realism is the best medicine IMO.

 

[kwsoccerkid]

My wife was afraid to fly after driving from Pa to WDW twice she will fly now.
It takes about 17 hours from Pa to WDW. We would leave at 3:00 am and arrive in Orlando at 7:00 pm. The drive down 95 is ok if get past Washington D.C. before rush hour you don't won't to get stuck in traffic there it can be a nightmare. She went to her doctor and he gave her some pills to take before
our flight and it helped her relax now she is ok when we fly she don't take the pills no more. 2hrs in the air beets a long drive to Fla. good luck

 

[princessjane]

Xanax or ativan from the doctor can help calm her nerves. Also look for direct flights. Only having to get on one plane at a time always helps. I used to be married to a Paranoid Flyer. I actually used to make him sit away from me because he was such a nervous wreck. IPOd with headphones and something to keep her mind off the flight helps too.

 

[dioxide45]

There are over 25,000 commercial flights a day in the US, more world wide.

That means, in the US, there are conservatively over 2 million people moving around a day on a plane. Over a year the number is staggering.

Now divide that by the number of deaths/injuries that are incurred on a plane or by a plane, and you'll find that you're more likely to die on the way to the airport, or even just walking out your door then you are in a plane.

In short, she has an irrational fear. Explanation and realism is the best medicine IMO.

While I don't have a fear of flying I can understand those that do. It doesn't matter how you justify the safety of flying over driving. They don't look at that. It means nothing to them and trying to rationalize it that way just doesn't work.

When driving, you are in control or at least the person in control is someone you know and not a stranger or some loaf who just does it for a job. We know there are many people who don't take their jobs seriously.

There is also a better chance of surviving a car crash than that of a crash in a plane.

A fear of spiders or snakes is the same way, it is just that, a phobia, something wired in to the brain. Those too are irrational but people still have a fear of them and breaking that fear is hard.

 

[maxiesmom]

We are planning a trip to WDW next August. It is a toss up between driving or flying. My wife is afraid to fly.

She wants to drivr and we live in PA ,about a 15 hour drive. I will be doing all the driving so I would rather fly and get there and start enjoying our vacation.

Any thoughts on how to help her relax about flying and to show her flying is better than driving?

Why would you be stuck doing all of the driving, does your wife not drive? Otherwise I would tell her she has to help drive, or she has to fly, her choice. There is no way I would be the only one doing all of the driving on a 15 hour trip, while someone else who could drive but chose not to, just relaxed in the seat next to me.

 

[tessiesevin]

My husband refused to fly at first but I purchased the tickets anyway. At the end the excitement took over and 1 hour in a plane beats 12 hours driving. We have not driven since.

 

[La2kw]

There are over 25,000 commercial flights a day in the US, more world wide.

That means, in the US, there are conservatively over 2 million people moving around a day on a plane. Over a year the number is staggering.

Now divide that by the number of deaths/injuries that are incurred on a plane or by a plane, and you'll find that you're more likely to die on the way to the airport, or even just walking out your door then you are in a plane.

In short, she has an irrational fear. Explanation and realism is the best medicine IMO.

As someone who is afraid to fly, I can tell you that your statistics are meaningless to me. I know my fear is irrational. It is also very real to me. Having a phobia does not mean you are unintelligent. Every time there is a plane crash (three so far these past few months), those fears start to surface again. It's not pleasant.

To the OP, have your wife go to these two websites:
http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/
http://www.fearofflying.com/

They are both run by airline pilots and have been a tremendous help to me. One of them will also send you monthly emails and update you whenever an event occurs (like the recent AirFrance crash). While I still have a FOF, I can better control my behavior now. Ativan also helps, though both courses recommend against drugs. I just had to decide for myself that I wasn't going to let my fears dictate my life. These online courses can help her towards that end. There are also lots of message boards with supportive people overcoming their FOF. What she doesn't need is one more person telling her to get over it. She needs help to do that, it is a very real fear to her. Don't force her on that plane if she doesn't want to go. Just plan a fun road trip and enjoy each others company. That's way better than her having a panic attack or refusing to get on the plane at the last minute (I've done both.)

Good luck!

 

[La2kw]

Why would you be stuck doing all of the driving, does your wife not drive? Otherwise I would tell her she has to help drive, or she has to fly, her choice. There is no way I would be the only one doing all of the driving on a 15 hour trip, while someone else who could drive but chose not to, just relaxed in the seat next to me.

I prefer to do all the driving, regardless of the length of the trip. DW drives to slow for me!

 

[jlewisinsyr]

While I don't have a fear of flying I can understand those that do. It doesn't matter how you justify the safety of flying over driving. They don't look at that. It means nothing to them and trying to rationalize it that way just doesn't work.

As someone who is afraid to fly, I can tell you that your statistics are meaningless to me. I know my fear is irrational. It is also very real to me. Having a phobia does not mean you are unintelligent. Every time there is a plane crash (three so far these past few months), those fears start to surface again. It's not pleasant.

I used to be afraid of heights, but the best medicine for any fear is to take it head on. And I did just that. First, I rationalized my fear, understood why, logically there was nothing to fear. Next, I would force myself to stand at the edge of a bridge or force myself to look down from the top of a building.

In the end, I'm not afraid of heights anymore, I don't panic, I don't get nervous, it doesn't bother me.

I realize fears are irrational, but I do not agree with many that find taking drugs is the solution. Control your mind, control your body. The best advice ever:

"Only think we have to fear is fear itself."

Fear the fear, not the object.