FE disapointment?

[Bonacker]

We're cruising for the first time and doing FE for the first time.

I'm giving what I consider very nice, very thoughtful little presents . . . for the kids only.

I think that might be against the guidelines, but I don't really care.

 

[MousseauMob]

I was very curious about how this happened, it's very unusual, so I checked your cruise meet thread. You did everything right, signed up and responded to posts, but the original organizer was not responding so it looks like the whole thing was abandoned, last minute, just before the cruise. It would be easy to miss that post if you were traveling or busy getting ready to go. It looks like everyone could have gone with what had already been arranged and used the list like you did. It's shame because there was nothing wrong with how it was being handled without the original organizer. The facebook group would have been a different list. Your son deserves some pixie dust on his next cruise!

I'm still confused. So it was abandoned but the other staterooms put their FE's up to receive but didn't deliver? This is really sad, I feel bad for her son!

 

[MelSpees]

I did sign up and we communicated about it on the thread! @MelSpees

I'm sorry for any offense. I certainly didn't mean any. It was unclear in your post. I am so sorry this situation happened to you. It's terrible that people didn't follow through. I think I would have. I hope you get lots of pixie dust in the future.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I did sign up and we communicated about it on the thread! @MelSpees

I seriously wonder if someone was stealing things from your FE.

 

[ASchwa]

We're cruising for the first time and doing FE for the first time.

I'm giving what I consider very nice, very thoughtful little presents . . . for the kids only.

I think that might be against the guidelines, but I don't really care.

Then don't sign up for the FE. Sometimes the people who are doing the FE don't have kids, your attitude towards that is unfair and selfish. The FE is open to all who are interested and there is no age limit. You sign up you give gifts either for the whole cabin or individuals, you can't decide not to give people gifts because their adults.

 

[bumbershoot]

I did sign up and we communicated about it on the thread! @MelSpees

Sorry for my misunderstanding as well; while going through the list of postings I saw only the previews on my mobile, and thought that the Short but Sweet thread was your trip report!

 

[MelSpees]

Sorry for my misunderstanding as well; while going through the list of postings I saw only the previews on my mobile, and thought that the Short but Sweet thread was your trip report!

No problem. It's one of the problems with communicating on-line--it's so easy to misunderstand and misread. I really hope you have a great experience if you do FE again. We've had a a really good time with it.

 

[wcw57]

Then don't sign up for the FE. Sometimes the people who are doing the FE don't have kids, your attitude towards that is unfair and selfish. The FE is open to all who are interested and there is no age limit. You sign up you give gifts either for the whole cabin or individuals, you can't decide not to give people gifts because their adults.

Just so you understand, I am NEVER giving gifts to adults on the FE and I DON'T WANT THEM EITHER! I see it is your way or the highway, but that seems counterintuitive to the spirit and theme of the FE and the concept of pixie dust. Who says you can't participate on your own level of involvement so long as it is quid pro quo? Next you will be in charge of deciding on a minimum spending amount, I presume?

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Just so you understand, I am NEVER giving gifts to adults on the FE and I DON'T WANT THEM EITHER! I see it is your way or the highway, but that seems counterintuitive to the spirit and theme of the FE and the concept of pixie dust. Who says you can't participate on your own level of involvement so long as it is quid pro quo? Next you will be in charge of deciding on a minimum spending amount, I presume?

But the FE groups aren't intended to be JUST for the kids. There are plenty of staterooms that are adults only that participate. Isn't it counter-intuitive to the spirit and theme of the FE to participate when you have no intention of giving to a significant number of people on the list? How about just providing a gift for the stateroom as a whole if you are looking to cut down on the number of gifts.

 

[wcw57]

NOPE. No gifts for adults...want no gifts from adults. That's fair and IF the kids refuse my gifts based on my personal parameters, that's okay. I'm guessing, nobody will care...well, almost nobody

 

[elaine amj]

Then don't sign up for the FE. Sometimes the people who are doing the FE don't have kids, your attitude towards that is unfair and selfish. The FE is open to all who are interested and there is no age limit. You sign up you give gifts either for the whole cabin or individuals, you can't decide not to give people gifts because their adults.

I would be OK if I get skipped and a gifter just gives to my kids. As long as our cabin gets something, kwim? But if I was in an adult-only cabin, it would be rather disappointing if my entire cabin got skipped.

That said, I can't imagine I would be bothered enough to raise a fuss over it. Give or don't...it's FE. It's supposed to be fun and lighthearted. Let's not wrap so many rules around it. I know many start adding rules because it is "fair" but that does detract from the good-natured fun of the whole thing. I've been part of other groups where rules started multiplying and it just made everything a drag.

If someone drops off a handful of penny candy - it's still something we will find in our bag and still adds to the fun. if someone skips my cabin, whatever.

 

[Dug720]

NOPE. No gifts for adults...want no gifts from adults. That's fair and IF the kids refuse my gifts based on my personal parameters, that's okay. I'm guessing, nobody will care...well, almost nobody

My personal recommendation then would be NOT to sign up for FE but just prepare things to put in those of cabins where you see that there are kids as surprise pixie dust. Otherwise it's not fair to everyone else in your group who doesn't have kids.

If you're going to use YOUR parameters, it's better just to do your own thing. It's not cool to be in a group with different parameters and say "I'm not abiding by them."

 

[wcw57]

you are waaaaay over-thinking this.
The other grown-ups in my group wouldn't be sailing DCL except for the kids and their happiness. NONE of them give a hoot about penny candy. Honest. The KIDS however, would be and will be thrilled....
Once again if there are 5 adult only cabins which I don't give to and they don't have to buy for me: no loss/no foul.
Not really worth discussing, just didn't like the "then don't participate" blow-back. Unless there is a
FE police force I'm not aware of. Then pardon me.........

 

[ASchwa]

Just so you understand, I am NEVER giving gifts to adults on the FE and I DON'T WANT THEM EITHER! I see it is your way or the highway, but that seems counterintuitive to the spirit and theme of the FE and the concept of pixie dust. Who says you can't participate on your own level of involvement so long as it is quid pro quo? Next you will be in charge of deciding on a minimum spending amount, I presume?

Actually it is you who is saying it is my way or the highway. FE rules is that either you give for the cabin participating in the FE and or individuals. You are the one who doesn't understand the concept of the FE. Quid pro Quo is what an FE is and you are the one who is violating its terms. I have participated in an FE no limits of any kind. Most of our FE group were adults, hardly any kids. If I had taken your attitude and the poster I responded to, I would have lost the connections I made on my cruise.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

you are waaaaay over-thinking this.
The other grown-ups in my group wouldn't be sailing DCL except for the kids and their happiness. NONE of them give a hoot about penny candy. Honest. The KIDS however, would be and will be thrilled....
Once again if there are 5 adult only cabins which I don't give to and they don't have to buy for me: no loss/no foul.
Not really worth discussing, just didn't like the "then don't participate" blow-back. Unless there is a
FE police force I'm not aware of. Then pardon me.........

A lot of the gifts given aren't penny candy. So I'm assuming that you fully inform the group when you sign up that you will only be giving to kids and that you don't want any gifts yourself?

It just seems you are completely missing the spirit and intent of the FE.

 

[ASchwa]

you are waaaaay over-thinking this.
The other grown-ups in my group wouldn't be sailing DCL except for the kids and their happiness. NONE of them give a hoot about penny candy. Honest. The KIDS however, would be and will be thrilled....
Once again if there are 5 adult only cabins which I don't give to and they don't have to buy for me: no loss/no foul.
Not really worth discussing, just didn't like the "then don't participate" blow-back. Unless there is a
FE police force I'm not aware of. Then pardon me.........

Your attitude towards people is you do everything my way and who cares about the consequences. if you don't like what I say then ignore me, the original poster had an attitude that said I will not fully participate in the FE but I want full participation from everyone else. I'm saying that isn't fair to anyone children or adults.

 

[PrincessTrisha]

NOPE. No gifts for adults...want no gifts from adults. That's fair and IF the kids refuse my gifts based on my personal parameters, that's okay. I'm guessing, nobody will care...well, almost nobody

As long as you tell the adults you're not giving to them in advance, then they can adjust.

As a group of 3 adults who participate in FEs, I can say that if people were upfront about not giving to adults, I'd just adjust my FE list, remove them and move forward with everyone else.

 

[wcw57]

As long as you tell the adults you're not giving to them in advance, then they can adjust.

As a group of 3 adults who participate in FEs, I can say that if people were upfront about not giving to adults, I'd just adjust my FE list, remove them and move forward with everyone else.

THAT, and I believe it is obvious, is what I was saying. How can anyone have hurt feelings if I apply my no adult parameter evenly?...to the adults, it's as if I wasn't on the ship. Personally...I said "personally" here....I don't know when or why the adults got so involved and invested in the FEs...

People can do whatever they want...that's what I think. Give, don't give, don't participate...who cares? It seems that I have hit upon a hot topic here. It never was nor shall ever be do as I say..my way or the highway. I would NEVER tell someone not to participate..as others have. I am not exclusionary. U can give penny candy or hand-crafted chandeliers and I and my DGK will be grateful.

By the way, i don't give adults candy on Halloween, either. So don't come a-knockin'

 

[Dug720]

THAT, and I believe it is obvious, is what I was saying. How can anyone have hurt feelings if I apply my no adult parameter evenly?...to the adults, it's as if I wasn't on the ship. Personally...I said "personally" here....I don't know when or why the adults got so involved and invested in the FEs...

People can do whatever they want...that's what I think. Give, don't give, don't participate...who cares? It seems that I have hit upon a hot topic here. It never was nor shall ever be do as I say..my way or the highway. I would NEVER tell someone not to participate..as others have. I am not exclusionary. U can give penny candy or hand-crafted chandeliers and I and my DGK will be grateful.

By the way, i don't give adults candy on Halloween, either. So don't come a-knockin'

I think what people are saying is that you would probably be much better served (and have a lot less work going through the lists) if you just randomly pixie dust children rather than being a part of a full-blown FE group - especially since you said you don't want anything. You really just want a list of those participating with children to pixie dust them it seems. That CAN be done without being part of the group.

And it's great that no one in your travel party cruises without kids - that works for you. But there are a lot of people who choose to cruise without kids, and we're just as much a part of the ship's community as you and your little snowflakes are.

 

[ratt1345]

DW and I did FE for about 3 of our cruises. It was sort of fun the first time. It was less fun with the second time we did it. The last one we participated in...as it was being "organized", people were wanting things changed and such. Well, that got others to get upset and it seemed like there was a lot of back-biting going on. I know there are FE groups that are very civil and cordial. We decided that our on our previous 2 cruises that we weren't participating in the FE group. We seemed to enjoy both of those cruises a little more. Now that's just us and our preference and experience. I'm sure that it is a lot of fun for most people, but we have found out that it's not for us. We do bring a FE with us but only as a decoration.