Farting Etiquette

[lovetomow]

Ahh, my four year old complained her bottom hurt as she had fell off the swings at preschool. I'm thinking broken tail bone etc.. As she drops her drawers and proceeds to bend over for me to inspect she lets a bomb drop. I wasn't sure if I was gonna fall over laughing or fall over from the smell. We let mommy check the bottoms from now on.

I'm sure proud of that little girl, such stink power from such a small body!

 

[lovetomow]

Double Post

 

[paigevz]

How many euphemisms for fart can one thread produce?

Let's count the ones used so far:

release the pressure
fluff
air biscuit
silent but deadly
squeekers
bomb


Do I have a "pooter" anyone?

 

[paintnolish]

So, after three pages, have you come up with some rules for "fartiquette"? H to be likes to stink up stores also. Sorry if you shop near us. I get really mad when he lets me walk through a stink cloud. I mean, come on, go to an aisle I'm not in.

 

[akhenaten]

I work in a middle school, so I've become quite desensitized to farting. But with what they serve for lunch, it's no wonder!

from what my 8th grade son tells me it is quite the sport in school!!!
Yikes....

 

[paintnolish]

Dutch oven!!!! I get it to!! eewww

Honestly, how do they think this is cute or becoming?!? I tell h to be he will be sorry one day. I eat lots of fruit, veggies, and fiber rich foods. I am still in the new stages of our relationship, but one day, he will be sorry...mark my words...

 

[JR6ooo4]

especialy walmart cheese!

Mikeeee

 

[Southern4sure]

How many euphemisms for fart can one thread produce?

Let's count the ones used so far:

release the pressure
fluff
air biscuit
silent but deadly
squeekers
bomb


Do I have a "pooter" anyone?

I've use pooter when my kids were little but boys like fart better.

 

[CapeCodTenor]

Nah my dad taught me ladies don't fart and it stuck??? GO FIGURE?


But then again this comes from the man that one day in K mart a guy in front of my parents in line farted on my mom.... so my dad took it upon him self to walk all the way around the counter to back in to the rude man and fart on him back

my mom said dad had the look on his face like" fart on my wife will ya"

So what happens if you hold it in too long? You expload after 50,000 miles? I love this, I'm going to have to remember this if I ever have a little girl.

Just a question that has been nagging at me since the inception of this thread......

Can "farting" and "etiquette" even legitimately be used in the same sentence?

I thought the same thing when I read the title of this thread.

 

[lovetomow]

How many euphemisms for fart can one thread produce?

Let's count the ones used so far:

release the pressure
fluff
air biscuit
silent but deadly
squeekers
bomb


Do I have a "pooter" anyone?

Some other favs of mine (thanks to several coworkers for their input)

Butt Snort
Booty Burp
Trouser Cough
Barking Spider
Thunder from Down Under
Under Thunder
Pant Stainer
Prelude to Poop

 

[agentpleakley]

Some other favs of mine (thanks to several coworkers for their input)

Butt Snort
Booty Burp
Trouser Cough
Barking Spider
Thunder from Down Under
Under Thunder
Pant Stainer
Prelude to Poop

Oh my -- have to remember these

 

[tinkbutt]

there is

toot
and one of my favorite crop dusting

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You all are sick!

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I had a roommate that had horrible stomach "issues". She loved (for meaness) to get in my closet, shut the door and "gas up" all my clothes! Ewwww!

DH and I had a male friend that Beano couldn't even help. One night he, his DW, DH and I were in Victoria's Secrets. Our friend would walk in front of DH and let silent ones out, causing DH to nearly gag. DH got irritated with that and quickly went in another direction. Our friend decided to raise his leg out to the side, and let one rip. Snickering, he turned to look back at DH. DH wasn't there. Our poor friend turned white in the face and looked like he could faint. Standing where DH "should" have been were 2 young, beautiful girls (around 18-22) ! With utter disgust they called our friend a "filthy freak" and stormed out of the store!

This same friend was with us again at the Boardwalk when we went into an art gallery. Poor thing stunk up the place and customers were leaving left and right. When the last customer had walked out (with the exception of us 4) the store manager sharply called out to our friend and said, "I know it was you that ran all my customers off. Some of them could have been serious customers but now I'm left with you...nothing but a lookyloo"!!!


ETA: For you single women, this male friend of ours is now single and "looking". He's in Delaware and likes to travel. Let me know!!!!

OMG, I would be seriously appalled. I'm disgusted when we have get togethers with certain friends and my friend's dh thinks nothing of just letting them rip whenever he feels like it. Most people I know don't do it in public or around others, thank goodnees. And if my dh did, we'd have a serious problem. (Call me uptight, but I am NOT kidding. It's disgusting and immature.)

 

[apirateslifeforme]

How many euphemisms for fart can one thread produce?

Let's count the ones used so far:

release the pressure
fluff
air biscuit
silent but deadly
squeekers
bomb


Do I have a "pooter" anyone?

My ex called it "playing the butt trumpet."

I have to repeat the Kohl's story. My ex was chronically gassy and he let 'em fly whenever, wherever. So one morning in Kohl's, we split up into our respective departments. A while later, he came running over to me, his face red from laughing and tears streaming down his face. He'd been in the men's department standing near, but behind, another man. There was a female sales associate folding shirts on a nearby fixture. My dear ex felt the "need," so he silently let one go. A few seconds later, the girl looked up, sniffed, and glared at my ex. He shook his head and pointed to the other man. The girl smiled, nodded, and went back to her folding. And that's when my ex hot-footed it out of there to come tell me about it.

 

[thewesterberg]

Some other favs of mine (thanks to several coworkers for their input)

Butt Snort
Booty Burp
Trouser Cough
Barking Spider
Thunder from Down Under
Under Thunder
Pant Stainer
Prelude to Poop

For some reason our DS4 now says "Who busted the grumpies?" if anyone let's one go. Where that came from, we have no clue!

 

[RVGal]

I am the only female in my house, so I deal with plenty of gas. Well, the dog is female, but she can out-fart the guys so that doesn't count.

DH is one of those that blames other people or imaginary animals or whatever he can think of when he farts. DS6 gets mad when blamed and will immediately defend himself.

We were in line at the grocery store one day. All 4 of us. Standing there trying to keep the kids from killing each other or unwrapping the candy on display or whatever was necessary. Suddenly a fart erupts from the guy in front of us. DS6, who is used to getting blamed, now screams at the top of his lungs, "IT WASN'T ME! I DIDN'T DO IT! I THINK IT WAS THAT GUY! I DON'T HAVE GAS! I DIDN'T FART! I THINK IT WAS THAT GUY!"

I watched the back of the guy's ears turn red. I'm sure the rest of his face was too, but he never turned around.

I just looked at DH with the it's-all-your-fault glare. He didn't seem too contrite.

 

[druidia]

DH and I gas each other all the time, especially on our evening runs. I always blame it on the frog in my pocket.

Ribbit. :

 

[Southern4sure]

You all are sick!

You know your the queen of farts!

 

[CapeCodTenor]

I am the only female in my house, so I deal with plenty of gas. Well, the dog is female, but she can out-fart the guys so that doesn't count.

DH is one of those that blames other people or imaginary animals or whatever he can think of when he farts. DS6 gets mad when blamed and will immediately defend himself.

We were in line at the grocery store one day. All 4 of us. Standing there trying to keep the kids from killing each other or unwrapping the candy on display or whatever was necessary. Suddenly a fart erupts from the guy in front of us. DS6, who is used to getting blamed, now screams at the top of his lungs, "IT WASN'T ME! I DIDN'T DO IT! I THINK IT WAS THAT GUY! I DON'T HAVE GAS! I DIDN'T FART! I THINK IT WAS THAT GUY!"

I watched the back of the guy's ears turn red. I'm sure the rest of his face was too, but he never turned around.

I just looked at DH with the it's-all-your-fault glare. He didn't seem too contrite.