Farting Etiquette

[Stacerita]

My Dbf likes to fart as he is getting out of my car when I drop him off somewhere EEEEWWW!!!!!

and unfortunately he thinks a dutch oven is hilarious but I am not amused!!!!

Ewwww. That would be grounds for breaking up if you ask me.

 

[tinkbutt]

Ewwww. That would be grounds for breaking up if you ask me.

nah I couldn't do that known him since tenth grade and I have just graduated college

he's my best friend and I torture him to but with chinese food burps I don't fart in front of people I just can't do it???!!!

 

[RobInBigKC]

nah I couldn't do that known him since tenth grade and I have just graduated college

he's my best friend and I torture him to but with chinese food burps I don't fart in front of people I just can't do it???!!!

Maybe if he pulled your finger?

-- Rob

 

[tinkbutt]

Maybe if he pulled your finger?

-- Rob

Nah my dad taught me ladies don't fart and it stuck??? GO FIGURE?


But then again this comes from the man that one day in K mart a guy in front of my parents in line farted on my mom.... so my dad took it upon him self to walk all the way around the counter to back in to the rude man and fart on him back

my mom said dad had the look on his face like" fart on my wife will ya"

 

[MushyMushy]

I work in a middle school, so I've become quite desensitized to farting. But with what they serve for lunch, it's no wonder!

 

[tevagirl]

This is all too funny!

 

[coolbeans]

You should have said "oh my goodness lady what crawled up your butt and died today?"

Dh says that to DD while changing diapers, he just laughs!!

At nite when DH tucks in DD he ALWAYS has to release pressure just after he kisses her but before he closes her bedroom door, it's tradition!

 

[MichelleVW]

My DH farted in the World of Disney and the kids and I were all gagging and he stood there so innocently. He blamed it on some kid in diapers.....then on POTC he did it again....blamed it on the funky smelling water and we are so dumb that once again we believed it wasn't him.

He finally fessed up at the airport that it was him!!! I should have known!!

 

[Southern4sure]

Dh says that to DD while changing diapers, he just laughs!!

At nite when DH tucks in DD he ALWAYS has to release pressure just after he kisses her but before he closes her bedroom door, it's tradition!

Double

 

[agentpleakley]

when my MIL was alive my FIL would silently fart in the car and then silently lock the windows....

My DH does this too. He is no longer allowed to have beef jerky during road trips. On a trip back from Pennsylvania, he locked the windows and the smell from his beef jerky fart was so bad that DS threw up in the back seat. So, from Ohio home, I got to smell beef jerky fart and barf.

 

[Southern4sure]

My DH does this too. He is no longer allowed to have beef jerky during road trips. On a trip back from Pennsylvania, he locked the windows and the smell from his beef jerky fart was so bad that DS threw up in the back seat. So, from Ohio home, I got to smell beef jerky fart and barf.

Fart & Barf roadtrip........

 

[winniedapooh]

Fart & Barf roadtrip........

Is that anything like the scarf and barf thread from a few weeks ago ...this thread has made my morning, and it has been such a bad week too! Sitting here silently giggling with tears running down my face. My dog thinks I have gone kooky she is sitting here watching me with her head cocked to one side, lol. Thanks for the morning chuckle, I will be back later to see what others have added!

 

[jennyl772003]

OMG! This just happened this weekend.

DS had a project that MIL helped him work on. The project was on the floor, and DS & MIL were showing it to me. Suddenly, I smelled a good one. Now, DS has no sense of smell, so he's notorious for just letting them fly at the most innoportune moments. So of course, I look at him sternly and say his name. He just gives me a totally confused look and walked away.

Then it hit me! MIL was dropping the air biscuits! She came closer to me and so did the stench. I immediatley remembered BIL wedding where MIL let loose a sonic boom during the vows.

I felt terrible though, since I'm sure she heard me yell at DS for it. Not that she claimed it or anything...

 

[Sonya]

OMG, I am in a room full of students testing, freshmen at that, I can't read this now, I'm only on page 2 and my eyes are watering as I am trying to not laugh out loud!
I'll come back and read more when the kids are gone and I can lol!

 

[cinmell]

At work I tend t release silent but deadly ones. I try to do this in motion as I walk down a hall. Just drop an Air Biscuit and keep moving. Sometimes I get the squeekers though where every step results in a *Fluff*. Gotta stay in motion so as to get far away from the scene of the crime. Watching others walk into it is kinda fun.

Ohhhhh Tag Fairy, are you ready this?

 

[Southern4sure]

Hubby will fart loud and proud at home, then blame the cat. we honestly have fart contests on occassion to see who can go loudest. They usually aren't violent toward the nose though. Occasionally he will fart in bed then pull the covers over my head to trap me.

At work I tend t release silent but deadly ones. I try to do this in motion as I walk down a hall. Just drop an Air Biscuit and keep moving. Sometimes I get the squeekers though where every step results in a *Fluff*. Gotta stay in motion so as to get far away from the scene of the crime. Watching others walk into it is kinda fun.

Squeekers and fluff do not belong together when farting is the topic......

 

[Kirby]

This is too funny! I really needed this laugh for today! I know I can also come to the DIS for one. A laugh I mean, not a fart!

My husband always gets the farts when we go shopping. We're barely out of the car and it begins. Anyone else have that problem?

 

[LisaNJ25]

Nah my dad taught me ladies don't fart and it stuck??? GO FIGURE?


But then again this comes from the man that one day in K mart a guy in front of my parents in line farted on my mom.... so my dad took it upon him self to walk all the way around the counter to back in to the rude man and fart on him back

my mom said dad had the look on his face like" fart on my wife will ya"

OMG.... I cant stop the tears... that is Priceless

 

[EMom]

Just a question that has been nagging at me since the inception of this thread......

Can "farting" and "etiquette" even legitimately be used in the same sentence?

 

[Passions71203]

I like to leave people special gifts on the elevator as I exit.

DH does the same thing

when my MIL was alive my FIL would silently fart in the car and then silently lock the windows....

Another one of his great ideas (DH)

Dutch oven!!!! I get it to!! eewww

I get them too

Just a question that has been nagging at me since the inception of this thread......

Can "farting" and "etiquette" even legitimately be used in the same sentence?

I think the DIS is training DH to fart all the time