Family traveling with other couple - Question? (now a single)

[Hillbeans]

HI Everyone,

I have a question for you all. I hope someone can give me some personal experience with this issue.

One of my closest friends is a lover of Disney. My husband and I obviously love Disney also and we had been talking about taking a trip in March to WDW together (me, DH, our two kids) and her and her husband. The plan was to get two separate rooms, and we'd spend a lot of the trip together but we'd obviously do our own things at some point. My husband and hers had planned a day of golf also.

My friend is unfortunately going through a breakup now with her husband and she told me that she still wants to go to Disney in the Spring.

My question comes here - if we go, we'll still need separate rooms of some kind, and I don't know if she could afford it (we planned to stay at the beach club). I also don't think she'd be thrilled staying in a hotel room alone, but i'm sure she wouldn't want to be stuck with my kids 24/7 either.

I have a bunch of other questions and just wonder if this trip will still be a good idea. I don't want this trip to ruin a friendship nor do I want it to be all about myself and my friend while my family is stuck doing other things.

Is this trip do-able? Has anyone else been through something similar with a family member coming solo or a friend and has it worked out?

 

[clori]

I've been to Disney twice with a single friend along with dh and my kids. The first time we stayed at connecting rooms at All Star Sports and the second time had adjacent rooms around the corner at Pop Century. We did the Disney Magic together the year inbetween. We have never had any real problems. We live in different states so we don't fly together but meet at the airport or resort. Df knows ahead of time that the trip is mostly focused on the kids (currently 2&6). In our case none of us are big thrill riders. Dh will do star tours, df and I do splash mountain, dh and df do test track and we do baby swap for Soarin. Although the youngest dd basically stays with me, eldest dd takes turns picking whom she wants to ride with. One thing that works in our favor is we are all early people so we all want to get to the parks for ealy entry etc and don't mind not staying to closing. We don't do naps back at the resort but we go during value season Jan/early Feb so parks close early other then Epcot. My friend is very much into the characters so she wants to see them as much as the kids.

The biggest issue is probably food. Df is on a special diet but basically close to a vegetarian diet, I'm just a fussy eater etc. The first trip we made a list of fast food restaurants that we could all eat at and choose based on where we were when we were hungry plus picked a few table service places. Last trip was more planning since we were on the dining plan but had no problem picking places everyone could find something to eat at. We did mostly buffets for the wide variet and less waiting time for the kids.

While df would help with the kids we never expected her to be a babysitter. The first year the most she watched dd1 (didn't have dd2 yet) was one night dh and I went to the food court to refill our mugs and sat by the pool a bit while df and dd were asleep/relaxing on their own bed with the connecting door open. Last trip df invited dd#1 to sleep in her room two nights but we were together unitl close to bedtime etc. None of us drink alcholol or mind skipping Pleasure Island so this works well for us. Last trip df wanted to spend the morning at downtown disney while the rest of us did a second early entry at Magic Kingdom and she met up with us later for lunch at Epcot. With cell phones it was easy to meet up. Also dh had no problem staying with the kids one night if df and I wanted to go out but usually we were all too tired plus I had family that live in Orlando that came to visit etc.

 

[dzneelvr]

Be very careful in including your friend in a family vacation to WDW. You'll all be in this together good and bad if she goes. I'm wondering if you and she shouldn't spend quality time together starting now to help her in her hour of need, and forget inclusion on a family vacation. This subject has come up every so often on these boards and the "trips gone bad" are enough to break your heart. If she does go, each member of your family will be intimately involved in whatever transpires. Only you know if that will be ok or a recipe for disaster

 

[LuvOrlando]

It sounds like you already have reservations or you wouldn't have posted the question. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend time alone with your family.

I agree with dzneelvr, this situation has the potential to go very very wrong. Will DF want to monopolize your time? Will she be weepy and sad or angry and bitter and ruin things for your kids? DF is going through a rough time but that doesn't mean you have to sacrafice your families vacation.

The fact that DF probably can't afford to stay at your resort may work to your benefit. If she stays elsewhere you and your family will get some quiet time alone together while she's comming & going. I would not invite her to stay with you guys because even if it doesn't bother you it may ruin the trip for members of your own family (DH or kids).

Recently a friend of mine lost her DH suddenly. She has been very needy, bitter, angry, self-centered and prone to cussing outbursts in front of my kids. I know this is to be expected, I know she is greiving, I am doing my best to be a good friend and am trying to be supportive. I am also doing my best to spend time with her out of earshot of my kids. I know that all her behaviors are normal for a sudden loss but the situation is very demanding and doesn't change to fact that she has caused disruption in my home and upsets my children. I'm all about treating people with kindness but its very important that you set boundries for your relationship with this woman.

 

[Hillbeans]

Thank you all for your replies.

I do have some reservations about the idea only because this trip was supposed to be done as two couples (and our kids). My friend adores Disney and wants nothing more than to go next year even if she's solo.

My worry is that she'll get bored with our schedule and our young children but i'll just need to reiterate going in that because of the kids, our schedule may not be what she is used to doing in Disney with her husband (ie, no late nights out or fancy dinners at adult restaurants, and we're up early). I think if the expectations are laid out ahead of time, there will be less worry about the what could go wrong scenario.

Our trip is close to 8 months out, so things may change in that time.

Thanks again everyone!

 

[graciespeaks]

My only opinion is that I would not have her stay with us, no adjoining rooms or anything. And like the previous poster posted if she can't afford her own room, that actually may benefit you.

 

[LoraJ]

If she can't afford her own room, would it be possible to plan a spa weekend away with her or something instead?

 

[Hillbeans]

Yes, I agree. I would only go if we had separate rooms for a variety of reasons, and I know my husband feels the same way. Unfortunately we had planned on staying at the BC, which would be very expensive for one person to stay solo.

If this trip still comes about I will suggest to her that maybe she could ask a single friend or family member to come as her guest so she can have someone to split the costs with and someone to "do" things with in case i'm busy with the kids or whatever.

The whole situation is sad, because I know how much she was looking forward to this trip. I obviously do have reservations about the trip, because of the situation going on with my friend.

LUVORLANDO - It's interesting what you said about your widowed friend. Not to go OT here but my husband's best friend passed away 4 years ago and his widow ended up getting very attached to my husband. It was a sad enough situation without the added stress of her unstable behavior. She bought my husband gifts, stopped by when I wasn't home, etc. It was very disruptive and caused a lot of problems in our relationship. Unfortunately we are no longer friends with this woman, but I saw no other way to ever trust her again.

 

[java]

Great idea to come up with another adult to go with her!! That way she can do the "adult" things she wants to do. She may have ideas of you being able to ditch the family in the evenings to go have some fun with her. I understand your concerns. I will just post a quick thing we witnessed in Disney this year. There was a family sitting out by the gate waiting to leave. Everyone looked exhausted and what got my attention was the husband having a mini meltdown screaming" this is why I will never ever go with another family to Disney!" At that moment the friend comes running up with a "hey buddy....." and crazy freak out guy replied" hey buddy" as if nothing was bothering him. Talk about built up resentment. yikes. I think if you are very honest going in it can work. I am sure she needs a friend right now.