Family refuses to donate.

[BeachLove]

So, maybe this is more of a vent. When I don't want clothing anymore, I just donate it. If its something that will fit someone in my family and they want it, its packed up and given to them. Now, I've been noticing once these items no longer fit my younger cousins, its kept in storage. For years....... They have bags and boxes with dozens of jeans, dozens of shirts, coats, some formal dresses, etc.

I guess it just bugs me because the clothing is in good shape and could go to a new family. Especially the formal dresses. Their idea is that since its name brand stuff and expensive they feel bad donating it. UGH come on. Do you have people in your family like this? I know its no longer my stuff. Still I did say to please donate it once you're finished with it. I've started to just not ask if they want something and just donating it. Its the same thing when I donate food to the food bank. If they see the bags hanging around my house waiting for donation time they try to claim it.

 

[jennyjinx3]

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

 

[Jenny3]

I can understand the frustration - it's hard to see all those nice clothes turning into mice feed when needy families could use them.

I would just not give anything to your family anymore - take it right to Goodwill.

 

[NotUrsula]

It *could* be that they are saving them for future children. I packed up all of my eldest's clothes with the idea of re-using them for my next child, and as fate would have it, she didn't arrive for 10 years. She's wearing those clothes right now.

(Also, fwiw, packed properly, natural-fiber clothing will last for centuries; it won't be mouse-kibble if you do it right. Also, I've been sewing since childhood, and I often re-use fabric from old garments to make new ones.)

 

[BeachLove]

Thank you

I know I can't tell them what to do with it now. It's just annoying to know its stacked in cardboard boxes in an attic. Some of those gowns could have been donated to be used for proms.

 

[crl]

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

The yard sales might be a better way to help those people who need it the most. If I donate a shirt to our local Goodwill, they will charge $3 pr more for that shirt. At a garage sale, that shirt would only cost $1 or less.

The best way to be sure your donated clothes are helping those who need it is to give directly to that person. Such as my son's clothes that are still in good condition go to family at church who have 2 little boys.

 

[BeachLove]

It *could* be that they are saving them for future children. I packed up all of my eldest's clothes with the idea of re-using them for my next child, and as fate would have it, she didn't arrive for 10 years. She's wearing those clothes right now.

(Also, fwiw, packed properly, natural-fiber clothing will last for centuries; it won't be mouse-kibble if you do it right. Also, I've been sewing since childhood, and I often re-use fabric from old garments to make new ones.)

By the time the younger kids can fit into this clothing it would have been in storage for up to 15 years. I guess I'm just anti-clutter and couldn't stand to have stuff in storage. Especially with styles changing and how picky kids are.

 

[BeachLove]

The yard sales might be a better way to help those people who need it the most. If I donate a shirt to our local Goodwill, they will charge $3 pr more for that shirt. At a garage sale, that shirt would only cost $1 or less.

The best way to be sure your donated clothes are helping those who need it is to give directly to that person. Such as my son's clothes that are still in good condition go to family at church who have 2 little boys.

Exactly, I love giving to the churches. I don't care what kind of church it is or what they believe in. I rather donate that way than give it to the goodwill.

 

[chimilady]

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

Nope, I love those people. It's the only way I can afford to clothe my girls on a budget. I can get an entire wardrobe between those folks and clothing swaps for about $25, including coats, boots, etc.

 

[sissy_ib]

My personal favorite on this topic is people who have their used clothes out at garage sales trying to get a buck or 50 cents for a piece of clothing. I am like you OP, and don't understand it. It is much better to see the clothing go to a family in need. There are plenty out there who need help. We donate all of our clothing. (except stained of course!!)

For the most part, the people who are buying clothes at garage sales are in need.

 

[Marionnette]

So, maybe this is more of a vent. When I don't want clothing anymore, I just donate it. If its something that will fit someone in my family and they want it, its packed up and given to them. Now, I've been noticing once these items no longer fit my younger cousins, its kept in storage. For years....... They have bags and boxes with dozens of jeans, dozens of shirts, coats, some formal dresses, etc.

I guess it just bugs me because the clothing is in good shape and could go to a new family. Especially the formal dresses. Their idea is that since its name brand stuff and expensive they feel bad donating it. UGH come on. Do you have people in your family like this? I know its no longer my stuff. Still I did say to please donate it once you're finished with it. I've started to just not ask if they want something and just donating it. Its the same thing when I donate food to the food bank. If they see the bags hanging around my house waiting for donation time they try to claim it.

You need to let it go. Once you give something to someone, you give up any rights to dictate what they do with it. Would you donate clothes to Good Will or any other charity with the stipulation that the person buying the clothes should also donate them when they are outgrown?

 

[Friendly Frog]

Isn't Goodwill set up to help provide jobs and training for those with disabilities? I think they do their work not by providing low cost items but by providing jobs?

Lots of great places to donate, women's shelters are another area that often need clothing and toys.

Many research groups ( Kidney, cancer...) collect items and then sell them to the thrift stores to raise funds. ASPCA, or rescue groups? Maybe something close to her heart would motivate her?

Or maybe you could suggest that she place the clothes on consignment? Maybe getting some money from them would entice her? At least they would not just go to waste and would give someone else a chance to purchase them at a reduced price.

 

[delmar411]

maybe you should simply ask for them back. You gave them to them with disposal directions. That does mean they accepted your terms when accepting the clothes. So ask them to give the clothes back to you to donate or just take them and donate them.

Maybe I'm mean but I wouldn't tolerate my family acting like that.

 

[furb & dez]

maybe you should simply ask for them back. You gave them to them with disposal directions. That does mean they accepted your terms when accepting the clothes. So ask them to give the clothes back to you to donate or just take them and donate them.

That is ridiculous. Once you gift an item, it's no longer yours to worry about. Who are you to decide when someone else done with something?

The OP seriously needs a chill pill. And then perhaps some lessons on appropriate boundaries and other basic social learning.

 

[gottaluvPluto]

Isn't Goodwill set up to help provide jobs and training for those with disabilities? I think they do their work not by providing low cost items but by providing jobs?

Lots of great places to donate, women's shelters are another area that often need clothing and toys.

Many research groups ( Kidney, cancer...) collect items and then sell them to the thrift stores to raise funds. ASPCA, or rescue groups? Maybe something close to her heart would motivate her?

Or maybe you could suggest that she place the clothes on consignment? Maybe getting some money from them would entice her? At least they would not just go to waste and would give someone else a chance to purchase them at a reduced price.

They do hire disabled workers and give them a very low wage, some make as low as .22. While the CEO makes a little more than half a million.

 

[sissy_ib]

That is ridiculous. Once you gift an item, it's no longer yours to worry about. Who are you to decide when someone else done with something?

The OP seriously needs a chill pill. And then perhaps some lessons on appropriate boundaries and other basic social learning.

Harsh and uncalled for. I think you need to chill. She is simply venting her frustration. It's not like she is pounding down their door demanding the items back.

 

[scrapquitler]

OP, once you give it to them, they can do what they wish with it. I think you need to just let it go...if you can't, then don't give them things again, just donate them directly and skip over these relatives.

 

[BeachLove]

That is ridiculous. Once you gift an item, it's no longer yours to worry about. Who are you to decide when someone else done with something?

The OP seriously needs a chill pill. And then perhaps some lessons on appropriate boundaries and other basic social learning.

Um calm it down. It's ok to not agree. Telling someone to learn basic social skills and learning appropriate boundaries is pretty messed up.

 

[Sunnywho]

I am guessing that they are not as well off as the OP.
The OP could gently suggest that if they are not able to donate or pass them on, perhaps they could sell them on ebay (and keep the proceeds). Keeping them for younger siblings is also valid. But it's not like they want to store them at the OP's garage. I would suggest giving more to them, not less. It's cast-off clothes that don't mean anything anymore to the OP and it obviously means something or has value to the recipients since they are not willing to part with it.

 

[bumbershoot]

The yard sales might be a better way to help those people who need it the most. If I donate a shirt to our local Goodwill, they will charge $3 pr more for that shirt. At a garage sale, that shirt would only cost $1 or less.

I agree.



We held on to MANY of DS's clothes, and it has only been in this last year that I'm giving them away. Some of the things, however, are being consigned, because they are in really good shape or cost too much to give away. Those get held longer, because I'm waiting for the right season to sell.

I have also held on to ALL of my formal gowns and many other things of my own. It gives me pleasure to look at them (and now that I'm losing weight, put them on again!).

We all have our own reasons for holding on to things. As an other poster said, she's not storing them at YOUR place, so don't let it bother you.