Family meals - clean up

[HugsForEeyore]

I seen this cleaning kind of behavior many times, not just at large family meals! I do alot of babysitting for wealthy (or living like they are wealthy) families, and this "cleaniness" thing is a strange game we all play. Often when a person rushes into cleaning during a meal, it's a kind of a power trip, a "holier-than-thou" kind of thing. And it's meant to put you in your place as the low person on the totem pole. It's a subtle announcement that you are "inconviencing" her, and she wants everyone to know she is "right" and you are "wrong". Do you get along with your stepmom? Maybe I am reading into it wrong, but I seen this all before, and it's all about power!

My family plays a version of this cleaniness game when we eat (but not so rudely as your stepmom). But now that I am older, I decided I will sit and finish my meal, and heck with the guilt! I'll help with the dishes after I am done eating.

 

[disykat]

I can't imagine getting up to do dishes before while guests are still eating and drinking, but after a big holiday meal I do clear and clean up to get ready for dessert. I like to get the food put safely away and things clear enough to be able to serve dessert. Then the dessert dishes sit. If it is a smaller scale meal, I leave it until after people are gone - but the mess of a holiday meal has to be dealt with before dessert can happen. I'm likely to say "oh please, sit, let me".

That's one of the reasons I like my current kitchen. I can chitchat with people in the dining area and in the family room while I tidy. In my old house there was a door to the kitchen and it was a totally seperate room. I didn't clean anything while company was there at that house. I did, however, clear the table and store away food. I'm a refridgeration nut.

I think this is one of those things where timing is everything. I hate it at restaurants if they are hovering over me ready to take my plate as I am taking my last bite! However, if I was going to linger over coffee or order dessert - I'd expect them to clear my plate!

 

[shortbun]

Clearly these people need a lesson in hospitality. Obsessive, compulsive anyone?
Once, I went to bil/sil's for Thanksgiving. They were up, cleaned up and had food packed to hand to people before many were finished with coffee. I took this as a "don't let the door hit ya..." message and I have always managed to have "other plans" when their invitation comes. At my house, clean up starts much later and help is appreciated BUT only after dessert, coffee, talk ensue. Also, I finish cleanup after my last guest is gone(unless they are spending the night) and relax with my guests, enjoying their company while they are there. The only reason I get up is to serve the coffee and clear off big plates to make room. I do get help with this but it's relaxed, calm and once coffee and dessert are on-everyone is back in their seats. Over zealous cleaners are nicely guided back to their seats.