Family advice needed UPDATE

[Mkrop]

I dont think I would be giving her money but I would help her any other way I could, helping to move, watching the kids, doing research on the Internet for resources for her etc.

 

[FayeW]

I have no idea if this is feasible, but perhaps, if they have been good, reliable tenants the current landlord would give her a break on the rent to keep the house occupied. If they are in an area where it might take a couple of months to rent it out again, it might be worth more to him to take less rent from someone reliable for a few months than to have it vacant.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Well I seem to be the only one, but I would pay the moving expenses to get them in the income based housing. She will not find anything less expensive and it doesn't sound like your brother will help with any expenses for his family at this point. I would not see my nieces and nephews out on the street.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Well I seem to be the only one, but I would pay the moving expenses to get them in the income based housing. She will not find anything less expensive and it doesn't sound like your brother will help with any expenses for his family at this point. I would not see my nieces and nephews out on the street.

thank you, this is what I've been saying. I'd be looking at ways to make income base housing work. There really is nothing cheaper then income based housing other then a homeless shelter, foster care or a family home. Perhaps if she applies for heating assistance, food stamps and every other program she can cover the rent. She should also see if the income based housing takes section 8 funds and apply for them.

 

[disneyfreakk]

One thing that struck me funny is the thing about your brother working under the table. Is this a new thing? Or did she fully support him in the whole tax evasion thing while they were together? The answer would determine if I would give her the money or not. If she was okay with it while they were together, then she shouldn't be complaining about it now that it effects her negatively. I don't think I would give her $1000 if that is the case.

 

[Tink-aholic]

Wait, this woman owns half of a house paid for with cash. Why would she need Section 8? Sell the house in whatever condition it is in (they bought it like that, right?) and use that money. Either that, or live in it. I can't imagine that welfare would be preferable (or would even allow it).

I guess I just don't see that someone who is employed and owns a house free and clear as destitute as you are all making her sound.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Wait, this woman owns half of a house paid for with cash. Why would she need Section 8? Sell the house in whatever condition it is in (they bought it like that, right?) and use that money. Either that, or live in it. I can't imagine that welfare would be preferable (or would even allow it).

I guess I just don't see that someone who is employed and owns a house free and clear as destitute as you are all making her sound.

If the house is free and clear it should be sold immediately, but that will take some time. The OP said it needs major work, as in not liveable.

 

[Tink-aholic]

If the house is free and clear it should be sold immediately, but that will take some time. The OP said it needs major work, as in not liveable.

Section 8 vouchers take time, too, depending on where you live. Some cities have waiting lists that are literally years.

 

[kwelch10377]

Wait, this woman owns half of a house paid for with cash. Why would she need Section 8? Sell the house in whatever condition it is in (they bought it like that, right?) and use that money. Either that, or live in it. I can't imagine that welfare would be preferable (or would even allow it).

I guess I just don't see that someone who is employed and owns a house free and clear as destitute as you are all making her sound.

She may not be able to sell it if it is in both of their names or if just his name and we don't know the details of her employment, she could only be working part time making very little money. It sounds like the husband was bringing the bulk of the income.

 

[allison443]

OP it sounds like your brother is a piece of work and you sister in law is in a tough position. However, I'm glad someone else noticed that many posters are saying she should get public assistance, government housing assistance, etc. while she owns a house they paid for in cash, haven't paid taxes, and who knows what else they have qualified for since they don't show income. Sorry, that really bothers me when people do that.

Anyway I think you are nice to want to help her. But realistically even giving her a thousand dollars is only a short term solution. You need to encourage her to get some kind of child support in place. Maybe help her get a lawyer? Also does she have any better job prospects?

 

[allison443]

She needs close to $1500 to move into new place. She has $450. She has been looking for assistance for moving costs but so far nothing. Her family is not in the position to help her.

OP what does she need the $1500 for? Is it for a security deposit at the new place? Seems like a lot to expect people moving there to come up with.

 

[badblackpug]

I would give her the $1500 (only if I could afford it)

If it were my nephews I would want to make sure they were in safe and livable housing. If there were no children involved, they would be on their own.

 

[Planogirl]

I was leaning towards giving them the $1500 too. You can always rebuild an emergency fund. This is a hard decision though.

 

[tnmt]

I wouldn't give her any money either. IF they own a home free in clear then I would go borrow whatever money I could against the home and then let the sorry husband pay the mortgage. Is her name on the deed or just his? Did she lie to section 8 about owning the home free and clear? I can't believe she qualified for section 8 like that.

 

[tnmt]

Who will help you if you give her 1000.00 and then something happens to you or your husband and you can't work to pay your bills? I look out for me and my family first before just dishing out money to people. Also, if your DH is against it then you shouldn't force him to help her out. Like others said, just help where it doesn't hurt you financially like buying them basic needs like clothes or food. I agree with the other poster about not paying taxes all these years and now she is gonna qualify for all this free stuff, but this is the way it works most of the time. The middle class honest people get stuck footing the bill for all the bums in the world.

 

[Swan4Me]

OP what does she need the $1500 for? Is it for a security deposit at the new place? Seems like a lot to expect people moving there to come up with.

If she is moving to low cost housing-this seems like way too much $$

 

[allison443]

Section 8 vouchers take time, too, depending on where you live. Some cities have waiting lists that are literally years.

Yet according to the OP the husband left only a few weeks ago, and the woman is all set to move in to this income-based housing. I don't know where the sister in law lives, but I'm surprised there was no waiting list.

 

[Hannathy]

Yet according to the OP the husband left only a few weeks ago, and the woman is all set to move in to this income-based housing. I don't know where the sister in law lives, but I'm surprised there was no waiting list.

yep quite a few things don't ring true or right (not even to mention ethical) Llike that amount of cash, and knowing the specific amount.

That is why I said I wouldn't give out right cash. feed the kids, clothe the kids, take the kids for a vacation but let the adults deal with their own mess.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

yep quite a few things don't ring true or right (not even to mention ethical) Llike that amount of cash, and knowing the specific amount.

That is why I said I wouldn't give out right cash. feed the kids, clothe the kids, take the kids for a vacation but let the adults deal with their own mess.

Yep, I smell a lot of baloney OP. I don't want to call her a liar however she is not being truthful with you.

I am sure she is in trouble however she has a job and a house which will disqualify her for any "section 8" housing.

If you want to help NEVER EVER give CASH. Heck, even things you buy NEW may be returned for cash.

Honestly the best advice is to point her in the right direction, tell her you cannot give her anymore cash or buy supplies at the moment.

 

[ChiCat]

She may not be able to sell it if it is in both of their names or if just his name and we don't know the details of her employment, she could only be working part time making very little money. It sounds like the husband was bringing the bulk of the income.

They paid 9,000 for the house. According to my mom and my sis in law it's not livable at all (I haven't seen it). Right now I know it doesn't have a roof as my brother was putting on a new one when all of this suddenly went down.

I live in another state so I'm not too involved in their lives but I don't think my brother makes very much at all. They don't go on vacations, own fancy electronics, they have one old car they paid cash for. She works part time now making ten bucks an hour, she says they are going to be making her full time soon.

You can say what you will about my family, I understand they have made bad choices. I have not. Both my dh and I graduated from college, work, pay PLENTY of taxes and have NO debt other than one car payment and one small student loan.

My concern is not for the ethics of their lives right now but I want my sis in law in a better place in her life for the sake of the kids without jeopardizing my own safety.