Families that go Trick-or-treating but don't hand out candy?

[Cinderella94]

I think of it like this..if I see your kids knocking on my door for candy my kids better be able to knock on your door for candy. Even kids can make the connection..."Oh, look, there's Jimmy! We have to be sure to go to Jimmy's house, too!" Oh no, I am sorry, Jimmy's parents don't give out candy.

I'm 16 and in all my years of TOTing, my friends and I have never thought this way, ever. How sad would that be?

 

[HelenePA]

I'm 16 and in all my years of TOTing, my friends and I have never thought this way, ever. How sad would that be?

its not the kids making the connection its the parents as you can see from this thread

 

[hereyago]

Being a single mom, I am the one who takes DD out TOT, unless she is at her DF's house.

I live on a cul de sac, which hardly anyone comes down. But i do leave out a big jack o latern light out at the end of the drive way and a bucket of candy that says to take some but don't be a greedy goblin. A couple hours later, the bucket is hardly touched.

I do have a couple neighbors who will leave to go to other areas and not leave any buckets.

This year is DD last year of TOT-it our city's ordinance that anyone over 12 can face a class 4 misdemeanor. So, next year, DD will probably be at a friends house in a nearby housing development that sees a lot of TOT and help her hand out candy.

DD and I are leaving friday for WDW-1st night is MNSSHP-our first one then the next day DHS then come home so she can do a final TOT with her friends.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

We both take DD out trick or treating, the 1st 2 years I left out a bowl of candy and no one came so I haven't left anything out since. Its a waste for us b/c I usually send DF off to work with the huge bag of candy for the break room since DD can't eat anything she gets (there's exceptions but very few) due to her peanut allergy. The Great Pumpkin comes and takes her candy and leaves her something small in return.
But anyways.... the lack of people at our door could be b/c we live in an apartment complex with a bunch of elder people though, I think out of the 100 or so apartments maybe there are 10 kids here lol.

 

[kimblebee]

I think of it like this..if I see your kids knocking on my door for candy my kids better be able to knock on your door for candy. Even kids can make the connection..."Oh, look, there's Jimmy! We have to be sure to go to Jimmy's house, too!" Oh no, I am sorry, Jimmy's parents don't give out candy.

Great lesson for the kiddies. Don't do anything for anyone ever. Unless you know you will get something in return.

 

[Cinderella94]

Great lesson for the kiddies. Don't do anything for anyone ever. Unless you know you will get something in return.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Why in the world would we want our kids to make that connection? Over something as whimsical as TOTing no less?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This has got to be the funniest yet most slightly disturbing thread I have ever read.
Do people really keep track of what Halloween candy people give out? Really? I can tell you that I have no idea who gives out what on my block. Oh- and we all trick or treat together. You know why? Because we like to and we want to! We all dress up and have a ball. The neighbors all come out to talk, we see other families etc. Halloween is a big event in our home. We do put a bowl out if nobody else in the family (grandparents etc.) want to stay home to hand it out. If we didn't then people would be surprised because we do a huge display that the neighbors love. However, I doubt that they would be offended or feel slighted if we didn't leave a bowl out and just handed it out when we came home. That imo is ridiculous. I certainly have better things to do than to worry about not getting a snickers bar from one of the neighbors.

 

[HelenePA]

This has got to be the funniest yet most slightly disturbing thread I have ever read.
Do people really keep track of what Halloween candy people give out? Really? I can tell you that I have no idea who gives out what on my block. Oh- and we all trick or treat together. You know why? Because we like to and we want to! We all dress up and have a ball. The neighbors all come out to talk, we see other families etc. Halloween is a big event in our home. We do put a bowl out if nobody else in the family (grandparents etc.) want to stay home to hand it out. If we didn't then people would be surprised because we do a huge display that the neighbors love. However, I doubt that they would be offended or feel slighted if we didn't leave a bowl out and just handed it out when we came home. That imo is ridiculous. I certainly have better things to do than to worry about not getting a snickers bar from one of the neighbors.

the only place we know who gives what is the bar down the street they give out free meal coupons to cracker barrel.. The kids love them there ya go we let our kids go in the bar lets debate that next it could be fun

 

[kimblebee]

This has got to be the funniest yet most slightly disturbing thread I have ever read.
Do people really keep track of what Halloween candy people give out? Really? I can tell you that I have no idea who gives out what on my block. Oh- and we all trick or treat together. You know why? Because we like to and we want to! We all dress up and have a ball. The neighbors all come out to talk, we see other families etc. Halloween is a big event in our home. We do put a bowl out if nobody else in the family (grandparents etc.) want to stay home to hand it out. If we didn't then people would be surprised because we do a huge display that the neighbors love. However, I doubt that they would be offended or feel slighted if we didn't leave a bowl out and just handed it out when we came home. That imo is ridiculous. I certainly have better things to do than to worry about not getting a snickers bar from one of the neighbors.

I know I don't. I don't know where half the kids live that come to my door. Lots of kids don't show up in costumes. Most come more than once. I live in a low income part of town so my thought is that me giving them some candy may really be the highlight of their week. Who cares if their mom or dad doesn't give my daughter the same amount of candy, or any at all?

My daughter does not keep track of what she gets where. She doesn't care nor should she.

 

[ajk912]

Somehow the "OMG MY KID WOULD NEVER DO THAT and compare" people apparently aren't the norm. You guys never remembered what houses gave out the full sized candy bars? You didn't have a tally sheet in your head, "Oh, that house gave me some wierd religious tract last year..I am skipping them this year." For many kids, Halloween is a sport. Especially when you live in an area long term and you know your neighbors since you;'ve been neighbors for years. You go to the friends' houses, you say, "Oh hi Mrs. P!" and it's really dissapointing if the mom or dad you see almost every day is out and about trick or treating and you don't get to show off your costume and pick a piece out of their bucket. Especially in cases where the kids play together almost every day after school and on weekends, the kids know they can always run up to Mr. Z if they need to. It's a bummer if those families chose not to participate on Halloween, both from the kid aspect and from the parent aspect. (Again, I am annoyed as well, though I never SAY it, I am gracious, if someone's kids show up at my house but they choose not to give to my kids..I am like..oh really?)

I remember last year..one of the kids' from the subdivision over came to our house, I wasn't planning on going over there..but my middle daughter was liike, "Oh, it's Annie! We can't forget to go to her house!" I don't think it ever occured to my kids that Annie's parents wouldn't want to offer candy. Actually, they have a hard enough time with dark houses..they get so excited since it's once a year..they are like, "What, nobody's there, but it's Halloween!! It's a holiday!" Kid excitement, you've to go to love it while you still can.

 

[ajk912]

Great lesson for the kiddies. Don't do anything for anyone ever. Unless you know you will get something in return.

Why am I the bad guy? We leave a bowl on the porch or one of us stays back to give candy to the neighbor kids. I think it's bad Trick or Treating manners otherwise. Would I be a better person if I turned out my light and had my kids take everyone else's candy without reciprocating?

 

[S. C.]

the only place we know who gives what is the bar down the street they give out free meal coupons to cracker barrel.. The kids love them there ya go we let our kids go in the bar lets debate that next it could be fun

You let your kids go in the BAR????

 

[tlbwriter]

I can see why people get irritated with "takers" - those people who always want something and never manage to give anything in return. I just never make that assumption about TOTers. As I said earlier, I assume they're going to give out candy at some point in their lives, probably when they don't have young kids.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Somehow the "OMG MY KID WOULD NEVER DO THAT and compare" people apparently aren't the norm. You guys never remembered what houses gave out the full sized candy bars? You didn't have a tally sheet in your head, "Oh, that house gave me some wierd religious tract last year..I am skipping them this year." For many kids, Halloween is a sport. Especially when you live in an area long term and you know your neighbors since you;'ve been neighbors for years. You go to the friends' houses, you say, "Oh hi Mrs. P!" and it's really dissapointing if the mom or dad you see almost every day is out and about trick or treating and you don't get to show off your costume and pick a piece out of their bucket. Especially in cases where the kids play together almost every day after school and on weekends, the kids know they can always run up to Mr. Z if they need to. It's a bummer if those families chose not to participate on Halloween, both from the kid aspect and from the parent aspect. (Again, I am annoyed as well, though I never SAY it, I am gracious, if someone's kids show up at my house but they choose not to give to my kids..I am like..oh really?)

I remember last year..one of the kids' from the subdivision over came to our house, I wasn't planning on going over there..but my middle daughter was liike, "Oh, it's Annie! We can't forget to go to her house!" I don't think it ever occured to my kids that Annie's parents wouldn't want to offer candy. Actually, they have a hard enough time with dark houses..they get so excited since it's once a year..they are like, "What, nobody's there, but it's Halloween!! It's a holiday!" Kid excitement, you've to go to love it while you still can.

I have got to be honest here. I have never ever even thought of any of those things growing up and neither did anyone I know. Oh- and not only did I live in a neighborhood where we knew everyone (and was related to many of them!) it was the house that my Mom grew up in so we had been there a long time. I have never heard of worrying about recipricating on Halloween. We also never remembered who gave out what. We said TOT and the person threw the stuff in the bag. We might remember after the fact that X always gives out pennies etc. but that was it. If someone didn't give out candy we didn't care. We knew there was one house that didn't celebrate Halloween (Jehova Witness) and it really wasn't any big deal. It simply never occured to us. Once we got older we went out to have shaving cream fights with each other and didn't TOT.

 

[allison443]

Why am I the bad guy? We leave a bowl on the porch or one of us stays back to give candy to the neighbor kids. I think it's bad Trick or Treating manners otherwise. Would I be a better person if I turned out my light and had my kids take everyone else's candy without reciprocating?

If you're not home yourself, then neighbor kids don't get to come to your door, show you their costume, and pick a treat from the bucket....yet that's what you were claiming bothered your kids.


When you get home from trick or treating, do you compare with the parent who stayed behind....we went to Johnny's house and nobody was home, did Johnny come here? I cannot imagine adults giving this a moment's thought.
This thread is truly eye opening.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

the only place we know who gives what is the bar down the street they give out free meal coupons to cracker barrel.. The kids love them there ya go we let our kids go in the bar lets debate that next it could be fun

Well, trick or treating for a Hot Toddy is not wrong. Mom and Dad can't just beg for candy ya know!

 

[allison443]

Somehow the "OMG MY KID WOULD NEVER DO THAT and compare" people apparently aren't the norm. You guys never remembered what houses gave out the full sized candy bars? You didn't have a tally sheet in your head, "Oh, that house gave me some wierd religious tract last year..I am skipping them this year." For many kids, Halloween is a sport. Especially when you live in an area long term and you know your neighbors since you;'ve been neighbors for years. You go to the friends' houses, you say, "Oh hi Mrs. P!" and it's really dissapointing if the mom or dad you see almost every day is out and about trick or treating and you don't get to show off your costume and pick a piece out of their bucket. Especially in cases where the kids play together almost every day after school and on weekends, the kids know they can always run up to Mr. Z if they need to. It's a bummer if those families chose not to participate on Halloween, both from the kid aspect and from the parent aspect. (Again, I am annoyed as well, though I never SAY it, I am gracious, if someone's kids show up at my house but they choose not to give to my kids..I am like..oh really?) I remember last year..one of the kids' from the subdivision over came to our house, I wasn't planning on going over there..but my middle daughter was liike, "Oh, it's Annie! We can't forget to go to her house!" I don't think it ever occured to my kids that Annie's parents wouldn't want to offer candy. Actually, they have a hard enough time with dark houses..they get so excited since it's once a year..they are like, "What, nobody's there, but it's Halloween!! It's a holiday!" Kid excitement, you've to go to love it while you still can.

As for the bolded....I cannot believe you keep track of this. Do you take written notes or just rely on memory? Do your kids help you keep track?

 

[tlbwriter]

As for the bolded....I cannot believe you keep track of this. Do you take written notes or just rely on memory? Do your kids help you keep track?

I'm going to make a map of my neighborhood and mark each house - who came to my house? Who handed out candy at their house? And what kind of candy was it? That way I'll be prepared for next year.

 

[allison443]

Somehow the "OMG MY KID WOULD NEVER DO THAT and compare" people apparently aren't the norm. You guys never remembered what houses gave out the full sized candy bars? You didn't have a tally sheet in your head, "Oh, that house gave me some wierd religious tract last year..I am skipping them this year." For many kids, Halloween is a sport. Especially when you live in an area long term and you know your neighbors since you;'ve been neighbors for years. You go to the friends' houses, you say, "Oh hi Mrs. P!" and it's really dissapointing if the mom or dad you see almost every day is out and about trick or treating and you don't get to show off your costume and pick a piece out of their bucket. Especially in cases where the kids play together almost every day after school and on weekends, the kids know they can always run up to Mr. Z if they need to. It's a bummer if those families chose not to participate on Halloween, both from the kid aspect and from the parent aspect. (Again, I am annoyed as well, though I never SAY it, I am gracious, if someone's kids show up at my house but they choose not to give to my kids..I am like..oh really?)

I remember last year..one of the kids' from the subdivision over came to our house, I wasn't planning on going over there..but my middle daughter was liike, "Oh, it's Annie! We can't forget to go to her house!" I don't think it ever occured to my kids that Annie's parents wouldn't want to offer candy. Actually, they have a hard enough time with dark houses..they get so excited since it's once a year..they are like, "What, nobody's there, but it's Halloween!! It's a holiday!" Kid excitement, you've to go to love it while you still can.

This is what I'm talking about. You (of course) take your own kids trick or treating, so it's not like you're sitting home waiting for the neighbor kids to come and show you their costume.

 

[marcyinPA]

For the past couple of years, we haven't been home to give out candy in our neighborhood. My DS15 always has a football game on trick or treat night, and my DS11 has been trick or treating with a friend who lives across town.

When we did trick or treat at home, my mom usually came to our house to give out candy. I could NEVER leave a bowl of candy on our porch unattended....it would be gone in seconds to the first person who came up the steps. We kinda live in that type of neighborhood....