Extremely annoyed....vent

[Magpie]

You make me spit my coffee on my lap top.
I will print out this comment, laminate it and hang it over my bed.
The country that almost hangs a man for wearing Speedo's in a public swimming pool,calling him a per** now tries to convince me that a woman flashing her "Naked Jewels" is totally normal and acceptable.

What country did this?

I've seen men in their Speedos at the local beach. And no one's been hanged here since 1962 - our last capital execution.

FWIW, I did not say it's "totally normal and acceptable". I said it was socially awkward. Letting it all hang out on a plane is not good manners.

Just as I wouldn't recommend waltzing into a Mosque without tossing a scarf over your head first. Someone's bound to get offended.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

What country did this?

I've seen men in their Speedos at the local beach. And no one's been hanged here since 1962 - our last capital execution.

FWIW, I did not say it's "totally normal and acceptable". I said it was socially awkward. Letting it all hang out on a plane is not good manners.

Just as I wouldn't recommend waltzing into a Mosque without tossing a scarf over your head first. Someone's bound to get offended.

That confused me, too. If she's talking about the U.S., it's a big country and different people have different opinions. I've got no problem with Speedos or with a breast being exposed for a moment while the baby is latching on or off.

I would have a problem with a woman leaving both breasts completely exposed for an entire 12 hour flight. But like someone else mentioned, I have a hard time believing that actually happened, and the poster has not yet answered the question as to whether this is how it occured.

 

[AKL_Megs]

This makes me think of a "Breastfeeding Nazi" in our family. She's lucky to be plump and ready for the taking. I, on the other hand, am NOT so lucky. A failure to lactate runs in my family, so there is a good chance I will never be physically ABLE to breastfeed. It doesn't work with my lifestyle, so I wouldn't anyways, but that is besides the point.

When the time comes and WE have a baby, if she tries that "Formula-Is-Basically-KILLING-Your-Baby" crap with me, I will kindly tell her that the alternative would be actually KILLING my baby... by not feeding her!

 

[luvmy3]

I really have no idea. I tried to avoid making eye contact or looking her way. Just tried to be polite although that word obviously did not exist in her dictionary.

There are alot of cultures that do not have hang-ups about nudity. It is possible that bearing breasts is no big deal to her or anyone else where she comes from.

 

[Disneyadore]

That confused me, too. If she's talking about the U.S., it's a big country and different people have different opinions. I've got no problem with Speedos or with a breast being exposed for a moment while the baby is latching on or off.

I would have a problem with a woman leaving both breasts completely exposed for an entire 12 hour flight. But like someone else mentioned, I have a hard time believing that actually happened, and the poster has not yet answered the question as to whether this is how it occured.

Flight AB 2100 from Miami to Düsseldorf Germany on May the 17. And I never said she exposed her *** for twelve hours but she flashed several times.
But as you think this is obviously perfect normal behavior in the US I will start practicing this habit so next year I will do as the "natives" do.

As the saying goes when you are in France ...........

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I forgot about the dripping! Funny thing, though, that was more of a problem with my first than my second. I didn't really leak much with him. Maybe because he was such a big eater, he didn't leave much behind...

I never used a buggy, though. I used a sling. It made shopping and getting around on the bus a lot easier. Plus, if I needed to nurse, all I had to do was sit down. I didn't even have to take her out of the sling to feed her - people would assume she was sleeping!

And the only time I drank while breastfeeding was when my first was colicky. I had a glass of wine to see if that would shut her up. Sadly, it didn't work. And then I got a headache, because I'm not used to alcohol! So as experiments go, I'd say that one was a failure.

Oh, and I have to agree with your comment about how it feels good. Not in a sexual way at all. But when you are so engorged and you feel like you are going to literally bust, a baby can take care of that and it feels so much better.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I would have a problem with a woman leaving both breasts completely exposed for an entire 12 hour flight. But like someone else mentioned, I have a hard time believing that actually happened, and the poster has not yet answered the question as to whether this is how it occured.

Yep, still waiting....methinks some exaggeration might have been used to make the story more "disgusting" (her words, not mine).

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Flight AB 2100 from Miami to Düsseldorf Germany on May the 17. And I never said she exposed her *** for twelve hours but she flashed several times.
But as you think this is obviously perfect normal behavior in the US I will start practicing this habit so next year I will do as the "natives" do.

As the saying goes when you are in France ...........

Well, what you consider flashing, might be the only way to get a baby exposed enough to latch on. And yes, I think it is perfectly normal in the US, as in the rest of the world, to breastfeed. No matter how disgusting you think it is, it's a way to nourish a baby. Would you rather have the woman let her baby cry for 12 hours on that flight? The only people who are making sexual things out of breastfeeding....well, I think it's a bit perverted. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt IF.....you will quote me on this thread where you claim I have said it is ok to insult anyone. You find something to back up your accusation against me, and I will believe your story of the perverted topless woman on your 12 hour flight. This is the third time I have asked and for some reason, you aren't complying.

 

[Magpie]

Flight AB 2100 from Miami to Düsseldorf Germany on May the 17. And I never said she exposed her *** for twelve hours but she flashed several times.
But as you think this is obviously perfect normal behavior in the US I will start practicing this habit so next year I will do as the "natives" do.

As the saying goes when you are in France ...........

Erm... so you're basically saying that this woman was sitting quietly in her seat and a single breast was briefly visible while she was either putting the baby on, or taking the baby off?

And you guys freaked.

Seriously, the sight of an exposed breast isn't going to make you go blind. It's not going to make your husband cheat on you, and it isn't going to turn his brother into a rapist. And for what it's worth...

Twenty-eight states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming).

http://www.ncsl.org/issuesresearch/health/breastfeedinglaws/tabid/14389/default.aspx

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Flight AB 2100 from Miami to Düsseldorf Germany on May the 17. And I never said she exposed her *** for twelve hours but she flashed several times.
But as you think this is obviously perfect normal behavior in the US I will start practicing this habit so next year I will do as the "natives" do.

As the saying goes when you are in France ...........

Ok, so it was only that "she flashed several times". If that's all, why did you say that

My husband and BIL were very uncomfortable for almost 12 hours trying to look "the other way" because she was sitting in our row

?

Why on earth would a few flashes of breast make them uncomfortable for the entire trip?

I also don't understand why you seem to think that the behavior or opinions of one person speak for a country as a whole. As I said, the U.S. is a big country, it should be clear from reading these boards that opinions vary widely.

Does your entire country feel the same way you apparantly do about Speedos and breastfeeding? I suppose I could twist that as well: "The country that almost hangs a woman for breastfeeding her baby, calling her "disgusting" and a "nut case", now tries to convince me that well-endowed men in Speedos standing in water slide lines with their family jewels inches away from the faces of 5yo girls is totally normal and acceptable" Anything can be made to sound disgusting if you try hard enough.

I wish you had taken pictures , because I would have to see for myself to know whether I think what this particular woman did on this particular flight was acceptable or not.

Two people can look at the exact same thing and see it differently. I have heard people describe a millisecond flash of about half a nipple they way you described the woman on your flight. I have seen people get disgusted over breastfeeding when woman's entire upper body was completely covered with a blanket! It's clear in these circumstances that it's the mere thought of breastfeeding that bothers these people more than any breast exposure.

 

[tigercat]

My kids are in their 30's now so BF was different then. I bottle fed my 1st as the nursery didn't think I would have enough milk so they would feed her formula and then bring her to me to nurse. She was weighed before and after and surprise she didn't eat a lot. My 2nd 16 months latter was nursed. I had the Dr write it on her chart that she was not to receive formula. She had no trouble nursing. My 4th nursed like a pro. The nicest thing that happened was when my girlfriend and I were out christmas shopping we stopped at a local restaurant. We sat at the back and it had low lighting. There were not a lot of people there. I sat at the corner and nursed my ds with a blanket over him. An elderly man kept looking over at us so I was getting worried. He came over to us and was tearing up. He told us that his wife had nursed their children but she was gone. He thought it was nice that someone was still nursing their children. All 5 of my grandkids have been nursed. Saying that though although I believe that nursing is better for the baby I would never tell someone that it was bad or wrong for them to bottle feed. Everyone has to do what is right for them and their child. I just wish that women wouldn't feel everything is a competition between each other when it comes to our children. The majority of us are all trying to do our best.
tigercat

 

[Darsa]

Yeesh, awful lot of assuming going on in this thread, on BOTH sides of this silly, neverending debate. Maybe we should just all agree to disagree, and go our merry ways? The sarcasm and fake lol'ing is giving me the bends...

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Yeesh, awful lot of assuming going on in this thread, on BOTH sides of this silly, neverending debate. Maybe we should just all agree to disagree, and go our merry ways? The sarcasm and fake lol'ing is giving me the bends...

I just have a problem with people lying and also when people put words in my mouth. So yeah, I'm gonna call em on it. As far as the BF debate, I have said like 10 times in different posts that I would never push BF on anyone or disrespect anyone. I think there are just as many nazi's on that side as there are on the BF side.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Wow, why are people, especially women so nasty to other women about how they feed their children?

I don't care if you BF or FF but to be so judgmental is just sad.

For the record, I BF both of mine. I also had to give them formula to supplement on occasion. They are both fine and healthy! My sis and I were FF and she has allergies and I don't. Do whatever you want to do.

I loved BF and it was great for me. I was "discreet" when doing it in public, but it's only ****s people.

I did have one lady tell me I should go to the bathroom to feed my son. I said "If you will join me and bring your sandwich, I will."

 

[FayeW]

I will admit that I judge women who do not at least attempt to breastfeed, however, I keep my judgements to myself. My next door neighbour is a lovely girl who had a scheduled c-section and bottle fed from day one. I think it is sad when someone's vanity takes priority over the well being of their child. However, as I said, that is my opinion and I have kept it strictly to myself (until now, when I told a few million of my closest friends).

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Wow, why are people, especially women so nasty to other women about how they feed their children?

I don't care if you BF or FF but to be so judgmental is just sad.

For the record, I BF both of mine. I also had to give them formula to supplement on occasion. They are both fine and healthy! My sis and I were FF and she has allergies and I don't. Do whatever you want to do.

I loved BF and it was great for me. I was "discreet" when doing it in public, but it's only ****s people.

I did have one lady tell me I should go to the bathroom to feed my son. I said "If you will join me and bring your sandwich, I will."

Good post

I agree with you on all your points.
Why is there a debate anyway? No one is going to change their mind. I just didn't like the way the OP implied that we sling our breasts around for the world to see. And then the poster with the horrible story of sitting next to a woman on a 12 hour flight just sounded so outrageous. So the more we started asking, the more her story crumbled. I'm starting to wonder if the evil woman in the OP was quoted correctly about "you shouldn't have a baby" because that sounds like the airplane story...a little hard to believe. Some people feel the need to embellish the truth in order to create outrage.

 

[krcit]

I will admit that I judge women who do not at least attempt to breastfeed, however, I keep my judgements to myself. My next door neighbour is a lovely girl who had a scheduled c-section and bottle fed from day one. I think it is sad when someone's vanity takes priority over the well being of their child. However, as I said, that is my opinion and I have kept it strictly to myself (until now, when I told a few million of my closest friends).

Do you know that vanity is the reason she chose not to breasfeed? I was unable to breastfeed because I had had a breast reduction not because of vanity....oh wait... I guess it was I'm just saying that women may have many reasons to choose not to breastfeed and they don't always share them with anyone other than their husbands or doctors. I personally think it is noone else's business how someone chooses to feed their child and I really wish it would become a non-issue. Everyone(hopefully) tries to do what they think is best for their child whether that means breastfeeding or formula feeding , co-sleeping or cry it out.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

What country did this?

Did you ever get an answer on this? I'm just curious as the poster seems to make up things as she goes along and when asked for evidence, she evades the question.

I would love to know which country threatened to hang a man wearing speedos and called him perverted, too.

Disneyadore, can we get an answer? Pretty please?

Also, have you had any luck finding anything on this thread where I said it's ok to insult anyone? 4th time I'm asking. Maybe 4th time is a charm!

 

[Darsa]

I will admit that I judge women who do not at least attempt to breastfeed, however, I keep my judgements to myself. My next door neighbour is a lovely girl who had a scheduled c-section and bottle fed from day one. I think it is sad when someone's vanity takes priority over the well being of their child. However, as I said, that is my opinion and I have kept it strictly to myself (until now, when I told a few million of my closest friends).

This is the problem right here, the judging. I was well-and-truly bullied into trying to BF, even though I was inverted, both sides. It got to the point where I had to pack away my painful shyness and say "My daughter is starving to death, I am going to buy formula and feeding her!" for the nurses/lactation specialists to actually listen to me. They listened, yes, but goodness didn't they treat me terribly afterwards. Thank goodness there were a couple of people there who I was able to see who cheered me on for thinking of my child's health over what other people thought was right. Yes, omg, I formula fed my daughter to SAVE her life. How ironic, eh?

So, yeah, vanity had absolutely nothing to do with it. And, I attempted to BF her, it failed, and I was made to feel like a failure and a bad mother for that.

It goes both ways; it's not fair for anyone to judge anyone on this score and I truthfully don't care HOW you fed your baby, as long as your baby was fed; don't crow at me about how you were able to BF your child for THIIIS long and is was SOOOO wonderful and peaceful and calming and all that... because y'know, it was pretty cool to be able to feed my DD out of a bottle rather than watch her slowly starve to death trying to nurse her myself.

JMHO. YMMV.

 

[Magpie]

I will admit that I judge women who do not at least attempt to breastfeed, however, I keep my judgements to myself. My next door neighbour is a lovely girl who had a scheduled c-section and bottle fed from day one. I think it is sad when someone's vanity takes priority over the well being of their child. However, as I said, that is my opinion and I have kept it strictly to myself (until now, when I told a few million of my closest friends).

I have to admit, when I started reading your post I was thinking, "How horribly judgmental!"

Then I got to your last line and...

Now I think I adore you.