I think what you have posted makes a lot of sense. Ollivander’s doesn’t take EP or have VQ, so getting in line immediately is a good strategy.
I personally don’t think I’d ride the Hogwarts Express back to back as a ride only. I’d probably do whatever I wanted in Diagon Alley, and then take HE as a method of transportation over to Hogsmeade. It’s not a quick walk. It might be best to see what VQ time you can catch for Hagrid’s, and look to get the HE about 45 minutes before your Hagrid’s window opens. If you get there too early, you can explore Hogsmeade, and if you’re a little late, no problem because the return window is half an hour. Then do Forbidden Journey and Hippogriff with EP, see the tri wizard spirit rally, and take HE back to Diagon Alley when you’re ready.