Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[Nik's Mom]

Babcat, you have quite a dare devil on your hands. Sounds like she has a future in gymnastics!

I love to read the stories here because it reminds me that I am not alone.

 

[Nik's Mom]

ok... I don't want to do this, but here goes- I think Mermaid mom is hysterical, I really do, and I want to keep hearing what happens week to week- but; we don't know her situation, or what happened before; we don't know if maybe her kid is special needs because of a previous near drowning, or if it was his first time in water, or whatever. Do I think she was waaayyy out of line yelling, disobeying the rules, especially jumping in the pool? Yeah, totally! Although I would have liked to have seen the jumping in part... I just think that other "typical" moms probably talk about me, too. If I would only discipline them properly, etc. etc. Or why does she think her kids so "special" Why can't she make her kid shut up/sit down/etc. Did you see that woman drag her poor child out of the store? Can you believe she won't even let her kid eat the snacks we bring in?

I don't know, I guess I just kind thought- there but for the grace of God go I; and realized that to some people I probably look like a "mermaid mom" sometimes, too.

I hear you. And I am not poking fun at this mom. I was really shocked by what I saw. But it was funny to see her jump in the pool and wade over to the instructors.

To me, it appeared like she just didn't know how to let her son be independent. I doubt it was the kids first time in the pool. He was really doing a good job. He seemed happy and was following along. But this mom did over react. There were plenty of staff there to assist. She was only making matters worse. And if the mom was fearful about having her son be in the water, she really needs to not show that to her son. What ever her situation was, jumping in the pool was not appropriate.

 

[kaffinito]

Hi there! I haven't been on here for a while but wanted to share a story about my oldest. He's high functioning ASD but sometimes acts like he's 12 instead of his actual age.

So I thought during our last trip I would take to boys to see the Swan and Dolphin resorts. First we saw the Dolphin resort, where DS18 argued the entire time with everyone he saw about how the sculpture on top is a fish not a dolphin. He was really upset that they would name a resort after something that it wasn't. lol

The tour really got strange though when we went to see the Swan. The front part of the lobby has a large revolving door. (can you see where this is headed?) Well Ben was watching people go through the door when he noticed a man push a button to make the revolving door rotate faster. And off he went to figure out how the door worked.

A poor man walked up to the door to come in just as Ben got there and started pushing buttons. ALL the buttons. Well of course the door stopped trapping the man inside. He seemed very confused. Ben got the door moving again, and was going through it a few times when a woman with a child came up to go through.

I told Ben to slow the door down so she could get through so he started jabbing at the buttons again, causing the door to move slower and slower and slower until she too was trapped inside.

Now mind you the whole time I was trying to get him to stop playing with the door, but he wouldn't listen. He just had to play with the door, and I couldn't get him to leave it alone.

There was some official looking guy watching the whole thing so I thought maybe I could get him to help. I asked him nicely and after I established that yes, I was his mother, and that he was autistic, he went over and told him to stop playing with the door and to go away.

So that was my vacation adventure in Schmolland. Why did I think that he'd magically mature once he hit 18?

 

[Dancind]

Why did I think that he'd magically mature once he hit 18?

Because that would be a perfect world! You know how they did all that research about the brain changing gears at age 18, and some level of maturity kicks in? I figure for our kids, maybe it will happen 2 to 4 years later. Or maybe 10. I'd be happy if mine would just quit trying to kill herself with her new risk taking activities. Longboarding, anyone? And not just longboarding, she wants to race.

 

[NotUrsula]

...
So I thought during our last trip I would take to boys to see the Swan and Dolphin resorts. First we saw the Dolphin resort, where DS18 argued the entire time with everyone he saw about how the sculpture on top is a fish not a dolphin. He was really upset that they would name a resort after something that it wasn't. lol

Just FYI, you can un-upset him about that. The dolphin on the roof IS a dolphin, but not the mammal kind. He was right, it is absolutely a fish, the fish that is nowadays more popularly known as Mahi-Mahi. The traditional name for it in Florida is Dolphin, but because it is a major food fish, the name dolphin became something of a problem after the Flipper TV show came out. My dad fished commercially for it in the Gulf, and it was always dolphin to us. Only the males have that characteristic squished-in head that is prominent in the scuptures.

 

[bookwormde]

IT is funny how often when you dig into our kids "insistance" there is a lot of validity to their positions.

bookwormde

 

[kampfirekim]

So very true bookwormed.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Something cool happened in the Kansas City area yesterday. The Royals held a 5k run for autism awareness yesterday. What made it even more special was the fact that some troops stationed in Afghanistan and Iraq also had a 5k run. There were soldiers from the KC area who are stationed over seas and wanted to run in support.

I heard the story on the news last night. They interviewed a mom whose son had participated in the run in Afghanistan. As if our troops don't do enough for us. I was very moved by that.

 

[persimmondeb]

Just checking in from this corner of Schmolland. New school year, and we are officially in High School. There were a few tears the first day, since DS finds the idea of growing up very anxiety producing, but it otherwise went well. We went to the PA renaissance fair yesterday, and it was...okay. We always have a blast at those, but this year just wasn't working as well as usual. DS and I both love to dress up, although he had outgrown all of the fair clothes I keep, including all of the random and relatively gender neutral items I've collected for tag-alongs.

I suspect he is going to be a very big man, or at least a very broad one, and ALL of my shirts were a bad joke. So I made him one. I should add that I do not have a sewing machine, and while renaissance shirts are fairly simple, my sewing skills are fairly rudimentary. Plus he wiggles, and was insisting that I was torturing him. And thought that it was extremely unreasonable of me not to let him drink pink slushie while I was pinning him. I did produce something that looked like a shirt when I was finished, but in the interests of finishing it on time, I pulled out the stitch witchery for the hem, neckline and the bottom of the sleeves, instead of actually sewing them. A very quick unhemmed 2-stitch tabard out of red velvet, and a pair of women's XL grey leggings and we were good to go.

He felt so beautiful in this that he put up with it, but the stitch withchery turned out to be very itchy on the back of his neck, and he would not wear the lace-trimmed stock from another year (wound up with it tied under an arm cavalier style) or the mardi-gras beads thrown from the pirate ship, or even the fuzzy tail that he wanted, but wouldn't let mom or the tail vendor pin on him. We also had a little confusion about change with another vendor, and I was having trouble persuading him that we do not make public scenes about 4 dollars, especially when it's obvious that there's no intent to cheat.

We had some nice snacks, and walked around and people watched, and they had some falcons and siege engines that he enjoyed, plus a renaissance military encampment with lovely re-enactors who talked to him for quite a while, but we wound up around four o'clock all sitting on a wall, tired, a little hot, kind of hungry, and with our shoes off, and we all looked at each other and said "we've had enough of this, haven't we". Usually we close the place. Oh, well.

Fortunately we'd packed a change of clothes, so we just went to dinner, which was very nice.

 

[kampfirekim]

My little schmutcher gave me a good laugh last night.

After his bath I just starting saying "Do I love you...YES! YES! YES!" (followed by three quick kisses on the cheek).

He thought it was soooo funny he began to cackle out loud.

Repeat this process approximately 1,000 times.

Finally when I was ready to stop, I asked him if he would like some tea...

to which he replied, "TEA! TEA! TEA!....YES! YES! YES!"


All has been going pretty well here. No major catastrophies. But he does suddenly have a strange facination for tooth brushes, or as he calls them, "eef brushes". He has a need to gather every one he can find and line them up in various places. Ugh. He has also developed a liking for droning noises. Such as turning on the fireplace blower, running electric "eef brushes" etc. I don't know why. Any ideas?

 

[ppony]

My little schmutcher gave me a good laugh last night.

After his bath I just starting saying "Do I love you...YES! YES! YES!" (followed by three quick kisses on the cheek).

He thought it was soooo funny he began to cackle out loud.

Repeat this process approximately 1,000 times.

Finally when I was ready to stop, I asked him if he would like some tea...

to which he replied, "TEA! TEA! TEA!....YES! YES! YES!"

Just had to say how SWEET that was!!!! I'm envious!

 

[rodeo65]

Finally when I was ready to stop, I asked him if he would like some tea...

to which he replied, "TEA! TEA! TEA!....YES! YES! YES!"

Awwwww!

So I now officially LOVE DS's teacher this year. After only three days! DS brought home his first real homework last night - math. I had spent some time over the summer doing review in those grade specific pretty thick and big workbooks. It did not go well until I started tearing out individual sheets so he didn't get overwhelmed. I had told the LSC about it at our meeting before school started but we haven't had our official ILP meeting yet with his teacher so he hadn't got word yet of using that strategy for DS.

Last night they were assigned three very full pages of math review - probably in the neighborhood of 100 questions per page. Simple math; sums through 20 and differences from 20 as well. He froze. The page volume just freaked him out. We tried covering up the opposite page with another blank folder which helped some, but caused other distraction. The folder had to be lined up just so! It was NOT a good start to homework.

I sent a note in his planner to his teacher telling him of the tear outs over the summer and that I didn't want to start ripping up his book without a discussion first but that it had taken about 1 1/2 hours of hair tearing frustration. I figured he'd write me a note back saying sure go ahead and tear out the pages.

What I got instead was a phone call this afternoon. He said he did NOT want to set DS into that kind of frustration over homework at the start of the year or at any time at all. He would remove the pages himself and put them in his planner to bring home and in fact would cut the pages in half so he was doing 1 1/2 pages instead of three. He said right now it was review but when we got to new concepts at any point that DS was having trouble with what came home he wanted to know and we'd step back a couple of lessons to keep him on track. Then he asked if I was OK with that.

I can't wait until curriculum night next week. The Learning Services Coordinator already told me she felt this teacher is a techie (she's new this year and had not met him yet) and he sent an e-mail out today to the parents outlining a few "teasers" about curriculum night and telling us he was running a pilot program on some ipod apps. One a calendar app to move towards paperless dayplanners and the other was "igrade" which allows him to track and make notes regularly that will allow easier reporting. He said he will be using his ipod frequently in class, so I guess the LSC was correct - he's a techie. Great for DS!! That is right up his alley!

 

[toodycat]

KFK---That was the cutest story. Your boy sounds so sweet!

Rodeo65-So glad the teacher "gets" the homework issue and is being reasonable. We aren't all bad, in spite of the understandable venting one reads on this board.

DS seems happy at school so far. He was really great about organizing for the first day of school. Without my asking. he got out his book bag, graphing calculator, Spanish/English dictionary, erasable pen (important for someone with his handwriting), mechanical pencils---something inherited from his dad. I don't get why they are better than regular pencils---and a notebook and was ready to roll. He wore cargo shorts to arrange his schedule, locker combination, bus letter in his pockets and has had a fairly successful first two days of school. Let's hope it continues. Enjoy the weekend everyone and L'Shanah Tovah if you celebrate Rosh Hashanah.

 

[kampfirekim]

Thanks ya'll. DS is sweet, challenging, but sweet.

Rodeo65, I'm glad the teacher understands the homework prob and is willing to work with you on a solution.

My typical DS' class has an "agenda" this year. It is a spiral bound notebook with all assignments for the year (we must sign off and give our own assessment of how well our child does on their reading HW each day then sign again at the end of the week) , separate "hall pass" page w/a calendar that must be signed every week so they know that we know how many times our kids left the classroom, how long they were gone and why. We won't go into all of the school laws and bylaws that are contained in this agenda, not to mention every single spelling/vocabulary word and places to do reading comprehension exercises. Oh...I almost forgot about the packet that comes home on Wed. w/the behavior chart for the week to be signed, plus tests etc. to be signed.

I am a reasonably intelligent woman, but it took me about three times of reading through it to get a grip on what to do with this book. When I showed it to DS5's OT her head nearly exploded. In fact it was sooo complicated that DS' teacher told me that some parents never learned to use it, therefore, they now tear out the pages pertinent to the day. (Just more work for the poor teachers, IMO.)

I'm not looking forward to 3rd grade next year.

Rodeo65-So glad the teacher "gets" the homework issue and is being reasonable. We aren't all bad, in spite of the understandable venting one reads on this board.

DS seems happy at school so far. He was really great about organizing for the first day of school. Without my asking. he got out his book bag, graphing calculator, Spanish/English dictionary, erasable pen (important for someone with his handwriting), mechanical pencils---something inherited from his dad. I don't get why they are better than regular pencils---and a notebook and was ready to roll. He wore cargo shorts to arrange his schedule, locker combination, bus letter in his pockets and has had a fairly successful first two days of school. Let's hope it continues. Enjoy the weekend everyone and L'Shanah Tovah if you celebrate Rosh Hashanah.

You shall never hear KFK complain about the teachers....You are all awesome! You may hear me complain about the paper pushers from time to time or occasionally our rotten excuse for a school nurse, but that's about it. Well maybe whoever is in charge of school meals...Ok now that's it.

There you have it! Now we all know why cargo shorts have endured the test of time. Sounds like a terrific plan to me. You may want to go ahead and stock up on some cargo PANTS for winter.

 

[bookwormde]

There are some really good inventive teachers out there and it is such a blessing for our kids when they get one.

bookwormde

 

[rodeo65]

My typical DS' class has an "agenda" this year. It is a spiral bound notebook with all assignments for the year (we must sign off and give our own assessment of how well our child does on their reading HW each day then sign again at the end of the week) , separate "hall pass" page w/a calendar that must be signed every week so they know that we know how many times our kids left the classroom, how long they were gone and why. We won't go into all of the school laws and bylaws that are contained in this agenda, not to mention every single spelling/vocabulary word and places to do reading comprehension exercises. Oh...I almost forgot about the packet that comes home on Wed. w/the behavior chart for the week to be signed, plus tests etc. to be signed.

Wow - just wow kfk. My head would explode too!

 

[NotUrsula]

LOL at the mechanical pencil thing. Last year in the IEP meeting, DS' math teacher begged me to get him mechanical pencils. It seems he was spending about half of each class period attempting to properly sharpen his pencil just PERFECTLY, and it was driving her nuts. Of course, his art teacher bans mechanical pencils. <sigh>

 

[MinnieVanMom]

In DS homework on each Friday there has been a note and I "thought" I was to sign it after I review his homework and send it back, then note. Well last nite I read the note for about the 5th time and finally got that I was to return all the homework with the note for DS to get a grade on said homework.

Well, it is in the bottom of the outside trash can because I have thrown it out.

I am going dumpster diving. Love all aspects of the new school year.

 

[Hasil72]

Originally Posted by kampfirekim
My typical DS' class has an "agenda" this year. It is a spiral bound notebook with all assignments for the year (we must sign off and give our own assessment of how well our child does on their reading HW each day then sign again at the end of the week) , separate "hall pass" page w/a calendar that must be signed every week so they know that we know how many times our kids left the classroom, how long they were gone and why. We won't go into all of the school laws and bylaws that are contained in this agenda, not to mention every single spelling/vocabulary word and places to do reading comprehension exercises. Oh...I almost forgot about the packet that comes home on Wed. w/the behavior chart for the week to be signed, plus tests etc. to be signed.

OMG! DS is ASD with an aide in a mainstream 5th grade class. He has the same agenda and melted down on the first week of school because the class was having a contest where the teacher would ask a question and the kids had to find the answer in the agenda. Talk about overwhelming!

 

[MinnieVanMom]

OMG! DS is ASD with an aide in a mainstream 5th grade class. He has the same agenda and melted down on the first week of school because the class was having a contest where the teacher would ask a question and the kids had to find the answer in the agenda. Talk about overwhelming!

I agree it is overwhelming the amount of work that parents do for homework. We are in for at least 2 hours but we have set up the routine and it is work.

BTW, I love your tag line.