Exhausted from parenting/ASD children/Welcome to Schmolland!

[iwrbnd]

I love the church stories! And Mommatomase, my DS sounds similiar to your story! I also was trained in child development and thought my son was so perfect the kindergarten might make a statue for him or something!Was I in for a shock! My smart "perfect" rule-oriented kid couldn't follow instructions at school and pretty much drove his teacher insane! He wasn't a behavior problem he just would daze off and get nothing done! He had been speech delayed, had some sensory issues and other very mild things I noticed. (Like he would go over the rules of games for so long his friend's eyes would glazed over from boredom! Or he could name all the state capitals but not his classmate's names.) He then got diagnosed with ADD. Medication helped A LOT but the mild social issues continued. Then he got an executive function dysfunction diagnosis and went through a period of minor tics. Then in middle school we realized he wasn't growing out of his quirks and got a "Asperger probable" diagnosis from his psychiatrist and "educational autism" from the school. He definately falls between normal and not-normal....whatever that is! That's why I came up with the "splashed" diagnosis for him! He's 17 now and having his best year ever! He has a good group of friends and a girlfriend! (She's really nice and smart and has no idea he has anything else wrong with him than ADD!)

My 11 year old DS got PDD-NOS at 2 years and mild autism at 3 yrs. He's come so far he actually does better than my other one! He talks a little monotone and uses large vocabulary words which makes him stand out. He's more into nintendo/computer than running around with friends but he does have a nice group of friends! He's been in speech/language services since one years old and just graduated this month! He's come so far, too.

I have days where they seem so typical that I forget they are on the spectrum. Then we have days where their issues are much more obvious and I can't take it! (Like the day I started this thread!) Both of them have food/sleep issues, mild low-tone, are literal, rigid in their thinking and aren't real "huggy/lovey". They blend in pretty well, though. Most of their issues are hidden and only become obvious on a day to day basis. I always knew they were mild but after reading about my neighbors in Schmolland I realize how mild they are!

This made me think. I would love to hear everyone's diagnosis story. How and when did you find out you were moving to Schmolland? Anyone else want to share your story?

 

[persimmondeb]

We just had a very, very difficult dinner out. I don't know what got into him. Thank goodness we were outside on the patio and it wasn't crowded.

The piece de resistance was probably when DS (deliberately) squeezed his lemonade all over his piece of pizza and much of the table, but the whole meal was kind of like that. We should have known better, since he was complaining about going to that particular place, but we have been trying to get him to be considerate of other people's needs (like my need not to cook at 8:30 when I've gotten out of work late).

That waitress should be given a medal. Not only did she not refuse to have anything more to do with us, she actually offered to bring DS crayons and paper to distract him.

Usually he's good in restaurants, but this was AWFUL!!! I wanted to run away, and was too upset and aggravated to actually eat much.

 

[mommatomase]

We just had a very, very difficult dinner out. I don't know what got into him. Thank goodness we were outside on the patio and it wasn't crowded.

The piece de resistance was probably when DS (deliberately) squeezed his lemonade all over his piece of pizza and much of the table, but the whole meal was kind of like that. We should have known better, since he was complaining about going to that particular place, but we have been trying to get him to be considerate of other people's needs (like my need not to cook at 8:30 when I've gotten out of work late).

That waitress should be given a medal. Not only did she not refuse to have anything more to do with us, she actually offered to bring DS crayons and paper to distract him.

Usually he's good in restaurants, but this was AWFUL!!! I wanted to run away, and was too upset and aggravated to actually eat much.

All that at 8:30... Not going to Schmolland Restaurants can be dangerous... Hugs for a better evening tonight.

 

[kampfirekim]

Cheez-Its

My son doesn't go to Church very often but when he does its always an interesting experience. Two Easters ago he made it halfway up the pulpit during the alter prayer, this year he was held by a very nice man who looked a lot like Walt Disney who kept him calm.. I wanted to ask him to come home with me but I didn't wanna creep him out!

I'll invite almost anyone home if they are up for the challenge.....creepy or not! BTW,, he also escaped the nursery, got into the sanctuary, wove through any open pews with a nursery worker on his trail. All were laughing, including Pastor! On other occasions, he's made it all the way up to the pulpit during service. I am so blessed to have an understanding church family. They are able to laugh with me.

I just wanted to say I love this thread. My son is 6 and is on the upper end of the spectrum too. He also has ADHD. Some days are great and I feel like we might be able to relocate out of Schmolland. Other days are not so good and I feel like we should buy a place in Schmolland instead of wasting money on rent. He's become quite argumentative lately. I keep hoping that it's just a phase and try to remind myself that it's better than when he didn't have any preferences at all.

Welcome aboard. Go ahead and buy the Schmolland home, you're here to stay. Consider any visits to Italy a blessing.

I would love to hear everyone's diagnosis story. How and when did you find out you were moving to Schmolland? Anyone else want to share your story?

Speech delay was our only flag (or so we thought, turns out there were plenty of flags). We had him screened and he was labeled as having a "developmental delay" which qualified him for pre-k special ed. We decided we needed something more official, so we had him evaluated by a prominent psychologist at Medical College of Georgia who dx him with PDD-Nos/ADHD. We already had an appointment scheduled with a Pediatric Developmental Specialist and since the waiting list to see her was nearly a year long, we held onto the appointment...just in case. After we began noticing behavior changes, we were glad we did. She was able to dx him with autism relatively quickly. (She's been an angel to us.) There you have it. That's our dx story. Besides the school provided OT, ST and ABT, we also have private OT, ST and equestrian therapy. He loves the horses!

We just had a very, very difficult dinner out. I don't know what got into him. Thank goodness we were outside on the patio and it wasn't crowded.

The piece de resistance was probably when DS (deliberately) squeezed his lemonade all over his piece of pizza and much of the table, but the whole meal was kind of like that. We should have known better, since he was complaining about going to that particular place, but we have been trying to get him to be considerate of other people's needs (like my need not to cook at 8:30 when I've gotten out of work late).

That waitress should be given a medal. Not only did she not refuse to have anything more to do with us, she actually offered to bring DS crayons and paper to distract him.

Usually he's good in restaurants, but this was AWFUL!!! I wanted to run away, and was too upset and aggravated to actually eat much.

Just go ahead....throw your head back and have a good laugh about it. We should win the title "Most stared at". Restaurants are an adventure aren't they?

 

[persimmondeb]

Thanks! This was horrible!!! Not usual though, thank goodness. And every time he did something awful he'd apologize, promise to be good, and then do something else a minute later.

He was tired, hungry, and not very enthusiastic about the place we were eating in (since he does not get that sometimes cheap and convenient outweigh other considerations), but I did think he could at least sit and be somewhat behaved for 45 minutes.

This is the same kid who sat through nearly 3 hours in a fine dining restaurant in a suit and tie less than two months ago, doing nothing but making polite (if slightly odd) conversation, and using his very best table manners. I'm sure the difference is that he WANTED to be in the fine dining restaurant, and didn't want to eat pizza last night, but I did feel he was old enough to hold it together on demand.

I threatened to cancel our ADR's for Disney if he can't be trusted to behave in restaurants, and I think that made an impression. He's also been told that he's not eating out again until we go to Disney, and that he's going to earn back the sushi dinner a family friend is supposed to take him out for.

He's sometimes been a little tricky in this particular place, since he doesn't like it all that much, but hopefully this was a one-time awful, since I would like to be able to go there again.

 

[iwrbnd]

Sorry persimmondeb that your dinner out wasn't fun! We stopped going to restaurants with ours because #1 we had 3 boys and that would be tough and expensive with NT kids but mostly because 2 of them wouldn't eat the food! They would eat Pizza Hut, though, so that became my treat! Maybe this was just a fluke and he'll be back to his polite self for the next dinner out!

I loved hearing the way you found yourself in Scmolland, Kampfirekim! It sounds similiar to our 2nd son's road.

Since you mentioned all the services you've gotten I'm wondering what everybody has tried? What therapy did you find helped you get out of Schmolland for maybe small trips?

Our oldest began speech therapy at 18 months but graduated from that by kindergarten. In 1st grade went on stimulant meds for his ADD until junior high. Then in junior high he saw a counselor (didn't help, our DS isn't much for touchy/feeling conversations and "how does that make you feel?" questions went by him like a jet plane!) then in high school he was given an IEP and a wonderful speech therapist that helps him stay organized and helps with writing assignments. Throughout this whole time he's been seeing a psychiatrist at a Children's hospital who says he has ADD and "Aspergers probable".

Our 2nd son began speech/language therapy at 14 months and then at 2 yrs was given (free by the state) OT, play therapy, speech and ABA...oh, and LOTS of prayer! We had people coming into our house all day long! The Children's Hospital that diagnosed him with Autism at 3 yrs said their goals for him would be regular school with an aide. Well, he's in 5th grade and makes straight A's without an IEP or aide and is in advanced math! (He had an IEP for writing for 2 years but not now) He's come soooo far from where he started! He got speech/language from the schools until this year where he finally graduated. I can't say enough about early intervention! (And prayer!) He's doing better than my other who has been put on the spectrum but not a full blown autism diagnosis like my youngest!

We tried the casseine/gluten free diet but didn't see any results and it was so hard with their eating issues I gave up.

So, that's about it for us. What has everyone else done for there Schmollandites?

 

[kampfirekim]

Thanks! This was horrible!!! Not usual though, thank goodness. And every time he did something awful he'd apologize, promise to be good, and then do something else a minute later.

He was tired, hungry, and not very enthusiastic about the place we were eating in (since he does not get that sometimes cheap and convenient outweigh other considerations), but I did think he could at least sit and be somewhat behaved for 45 minutes.

This is the same kid who sat through nearly 3 hours in a fine dining restaurant in a suit and tie less than two months ago, doing nothing but making polite (if slightly odd) conversation, and using his very best table manners. I'm sure the difference is that he WANTED to be in the fine dining restaurant, and didn't want to eat pizza last night, but I did feel he was old enough to hold it together on demand.


I threatened to cancel our ADR's for Disney if he can't be trusted to behave in restaurants, and I think that made an impression. He's also been told that he's not eating out again until we go to Disney, and that he's going to earn back the sushi dinner a family friend is supposed to take him out for.

He's sometimes been a little tricky in this particular place, since he doesn't like it all that much, but hopefully this was a one-time awful, since I would like to be able to go there again.

Yes, we try to discipline as well. The hard thing about Schmolland is finding that fine line between what is the disorder and what is a discipline prob. I hope you don't have to cancel your ADR's. That's a great idea making him earn back the privelege of sushi w/a friend! We are not to the point yet where that sort of reasoning will work for us. Yep, the hard thing about Schmolland is that sometimes they can and sometimes they can't hold it together. I have nearly pulled my hair out trying to determine which is which. Could there be a sensory trigger in this particular restaurant? Just a thought. Hope it all works out for you!

 

[steph124ny]

My 14 year old still doesn't do restaurants well. He eats very quickly and then starts complaining that he wants to leave. He'll keep it up until you WANT to leave, whether you've finished eating or not!!!

The only restaurant we've found that he'll sit in quietly is a Japanese steakhouse where the chefs throw things and generally keep him entertained! too bad it's so expensive!

 

[kampfirekim]

I shouldn't complain though. Not only is he not smoking pot in the garage, .

If DS doesn't give me a break today I may be the one smoking pot in the garage!

KFK needed to haul a little overflowing garbage to the dump (only around 5 miles from my house, one block from a friends church). Trying to be helpful, DH feels the need to show me how to get there using Google Maps. Of course I subject him to my "Don't you think I at least have the brain power to get to the dump and back without Google Maps?" speech. Of course today, I load the extra bags of trash into the truck, and not only do I miss the entrance to the dump....I overlooked the church! Have any of you ever sat at a stop sign waiting on the LIGHT to turn red? DH may have been on the right track! (I know he'll probably read this by the time I see him tonight ...so I say to you sweetie...."Sorry, my bad!") I know this is a little OT, but not really, 'cause I think DS is draining my brain power. I used to be much sharper than this. Life in Schmolland is officially taking a toll!

Question: Do any of your hubbies lurk and read your posts? Not only does mine lurk, he prints and shares with friends.

 

[steph124ny]

I have not waited at a stop sign for the light to change, but I have caught myself signalling a turn when going around a bend recently...I blame it on pregnant brain! LOL!!! I can't seem to keep track of my cell phone anymore either!! very sad...I may have to staple it to my forehead...

 

[Kat77]

I have not waited at a stop sign for the light to change, but I have caught myself signalling a turn when going around a bend recently...I blame it on pregnant brain! LOL!!! I can't seem to keep track of my cell phone anymore either!! very sad...I may have to staple it to my forehead...

Sadly, I have done both of these things! Even worse, a few years back I was sick and driving to the doctor and caught myself waiting for three cars to line up so that they would disappear in front of me (cubis?). I should not have been driving... ugh!

All four of my kids LOVE Japanese food! We do "home habachi" nights once a week now since a new restaurant opened next door to Target and taunts us with it's deliciously, expensive presence almost daily.

The Cheese It story is funny! Listen for "Baby Cheese's" in the church nursery sometime though. You will be suprised how common it is...

 

[persimmondeb]

He's not super fond of pizza, and they don't have desserts. He has also complained that it smells like "beer and pizza". We have tried to persuade him that this is a perfectly normal way for a pizza parlor to smell, but I think it, along with the noise level, probably does bother him, which is why we try to sit outside if at all possible. He apologised again today, repeatedly, so I think we may have made an impression.

 

[kampfirekim]

I have not waited at a stop sign for the light to change, but I have caught myself signalling a turn when going around a bend recently...I blame it on pregnant brain! LOL!!! I can't seem to keep track of my cell phone anymore either!! very sad...I may have to staple it to my forehead...

Prego in Schmolland!? You're entitled to have a BFF at any time! I can't keep up w/my cell phone either! I find myself calling the cell # so I can track it! Clipping it to a lanyard would be less painful than staples!

..., a few years back I was sick and driving to the doctor and caught myself waiting for three cars to line up so that they would disappear in front of me (cubis?). I should not have been driving... ugh!

What can I say to that except......

He's not super fond of pizza, and they don't have desserts. He has also complained that it smells like "beer and pizza". We have tried to persuade him that this is a perfectly normal way for a pizza parlor to smell, but I think it, along with the noise level, probably does bother him, which is why we try to sit outside if at all possible. He apologised again today, repeatedly, so I think we may have made an impression.

How wonderful that he has apologized! My DS isn't verbal enough yet to express sensory displeasure. Wish mine wasn't SO fond of pizza. I think he'd eat it every day if we allowed it! There's a spec/needs kid at DS' school that only eats Cheeto's....every meal! The ONLY exceptions are Saltines and cupcakes w/no frosting. Who does that? Since no flaming is allowed....I'll refrain, but I was thinking it!

Looks like he may be earning back that Sushi trip, huh? Great news! I've always believed that whether on the spectrum or not, discipline is a must! Good work persimmondeb!

 

[steph124ny]

Prego in Schmolland!? You're entitled to have a BFF at any time! I can't keep up w/my cell phone either! I find myself calling the cell # so I can track it! Clipping it to a lanyard would be less painful than staples!

I have to admit that I was very greatful to find out that this child is a girl. I fully realize that girls are affected by autism as well as boys, but my other 2 girls are typical and I am just praying that this one is too...sometimes I feel guilty for feeling that way. I love my son just as much as my daughters...but the girls are so much easier.

 

[persimmondeb]

Thanks, Kim! He's been pretty good since then. I think the sushi should wait until AFTER Disney, but he should be going unless he does something else horrendous.

After he had apologised he asked, in a very small voice, if I really had cancelled the ADR's, and thank me profusely when I told him that I hadn't, so I think the strategy worked.

Sometimes it's hard to know what will and won't work as discipline, but we do try.

 

[iwrbnd]

I have to admit that I was very greatful to find out that this child is a girl. I fully realize that girls are affected by autism as well as boys, but my other 2 girls are typical and I am just praying that this one is too...sometimes I feel guilty for feeling that way. I love my son just as much as my daughters...but the girls are so much easier.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! When I was pregnant with my last child I worried the whole time he/she (didn't know the gender) would have autism. Then when she was born I stressed over every developmental milestone and panicked over anything that looked quirky! I wish I hadn't done that and just enjoyed my pregnancy and the baby/toddler years! I felt guilty about the worries too because I love my ASD kids just as much but my typical ones are just so much easier!

 

[BreTyPres87]

BFF moment today after a little shopping I get in my car and put the key in the ignition.. I then proceeded to search for my keys for 5 minutes and I got really frustrated about it too

 

[Tarheel girl 1975]

Moment in Schmolland: today after a little shopping I get in my car and put the key in the ignition.. I then proceeded to search for my keys for 5 minutes and I got really frustrated about it too

I look for my keys all the time, only to realize that I am holding them.

 

[steph124ny]

I frequently search all over the house for my sunglasses just to discover them on top of my head.... that's like a once a week occurance here. Don't know why I don't just check there first!

 

[iwrbnd]

I get BFF everyday! Yes, I've looked for keys that were in my hand, passed buildings I was driving to and even left a kid or two at church!!!