ex husband rant

[4greatboys]

Even though your x might think he knows it all Im pretty sure the judge that ruled in your favor knew just a little something about the law himself.
I say take the time off and take him back to court. Some guys think the money they give in support of their children is just going to the x wives--who of course are out partying all night and not spending the money on the kids. You know housing, food and clothes are free
I think there are those who will try to get away with whatever they can unless they are called on the carpet over it.
Not all but there guys out there like that.

 

[faithinkarma]

It would seem to me that if he has already been ordered to pay, the only way out of it for him is to wear you down. What would you advise a client to do in this situation?

I'm not a lawyer, but I have dealt with an ex, and my advice is, be calm, be professional, and illigitime non carborundum.

 

[Ragmop]

You poor thing((Hugs))

 

[poohandwendy]

Sounds like he has given you no choice but to take him back to court. Does he like this battle or what? Seems like a glutton for punishment, IMO. That is a shame. Some people are just jerks.

 

[Lanshark]

Sounds like he is trying to wear you down.

 

[browneyes]

Why do they like to play games like that?

 

[niks81]

Originally posted by browneyes
Why do they like to play games like that?

If anybody finds out the answer to this, I'd LOVE to know LOL

As Wendy said, some people are just jerks.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

i thik he likes hanging out with his lawyer.

I once told him "Maybe you should worry about putting your own kids through college rather than putting your lawyer's kids through school."

I've got another 10 years or so of this nonsense. in NY parents are obligated to support their children through age 21 unless the child becomes emanciapted before then. our divorce agreement obligates him to continue child support until age 22 if either girl is still enrolled in college at age 22, and requires him to pay a percentage of college tuition. that's pretty standard in NY, by the way.


sigh. you're right, he wants to wear me down.

 

[poohandwendy]

i thik he likes hanging out with his lawyer.

Well, that sure is an expensive friendship he's got there...maybe he needs to make a few friends that don't charge by the hour....

 

[niks81]

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Originally posted by poohandwendy
Well, that sure is an expensive friendship he's got there...maybe he needs to make a few friends that don't charge by the hour....

I think in that case he might be very lonely...

 

[Tuffcookie]

Hugs to you! You are not alone. My ex in suppose to pay a certain percentage on the balance of medical bills after the insurance pays, but doesn't. In Sept. he discontinued seeing DS because DS said he didn't want to live with him! So now I pay all of the balances on medical bills after the insurance pays just so I don't have to deal with him! Thank goodness child support goes thru the child support agency or I doubt he would keep up with his support payments. It is so nice to have DS all the time now. He's in Sunday School every Sunday and this year, for the first time will be able to attend church camp! Of course I have had to get DS in counseling so he realizes his dad is the one with the problem, not him!

TC

 

[arminnie]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
sigh. you're right, he wants to wear me down.

DON'T let him!! You are stronger (and definitely smarter) than he is. Remember that.

 

[4greatboys]

Originally posted by Tuffcookie
Hugs to you! You are not alone. My ex in suppose to pay a certain percentage on the balance of medical bills after the insurance pays, but doesn't. In Sept. he discontinued seeing DS because DS said he didn't want to live with him! So now I pay all of the balances on medical bills after the insurance pays just so I don't have to deal with him! Thank goodness child support goes thru the child support agency or I doubt he would keep up with his support payments. It is so nice to have DS all the time now. He's in Sunday School every Sunday and this year, for the first time will be able to attend church camp! Of course I have had to get DS in counseling so he realizes his dad is the one with the problem, not him!

TC

He sounds like a real winner and VERY much like my x. He and my oldest ds had a falling out and now my oldest wont see him or talk to him. Ds #2 still goes to his dad's but everytime he asks his dad for something like guitar lessons or whatever his dad says only if he comes to live with him.
Years back I tried to get the boys to make up with him when he acted like a horses butt but no more. I just try to be as supportive of the boys as I can and they are also close to my dh.

 

[antbritt]

Briar Rose 7457
When I was married my X used to tell me all the time 2 idiotic things 1 was " Ya can't draw blood out of a rock "' And the other was in reference to my plans to leave him, "Dont let the door hit ya in the " Well First of all I have yet to be hit by a door and secondly I did get the law n my side to draw some bllod out of the rock..
Anyway I also live in NY and My ex is supposed to by the Copas for my kids doctor visit he has yet to pa nay of those ( as a matter of fact he actually has the nerve to mail the bills to my house unopened) He has is also supposed to pay 75% of my DD 's camp fee since she goes to camp for daycare purposes. Well every year I have to remind him over and over agin about when the $ is due ( May 1st every year) Well here we are at May 4th and no check yet. Hummm Guess he cant draw even blood out to buy a calendar!!
Well enough of thaat. The reason I am posting is to let you know I feel for you I know how hard it is to see someone act like spitefullness and Revenge are the most important thing. But I have learned to keep myself somewhat sane by a little trick and that is that I know this man soooooooo well that when issues arise I actuallly play out the conversation in my head and then that way I dont actually have to talk to him since I know how it will all play out and then I dont waste my time!!
Like the fact that the camp money has yet to be paid I know that is I call him he will just tell me his sam old lies and stories about how he is STRAPPED haha what a joke the bum lives with his PARENTS!!! \
So now I know that he will avoid me unitl he realizess that he has no choice but topay the bill.
When we originally went to court he tried to show up with all these cancelled check she had been paying me but I knew that the total he had paid was not the right amount so while he sat there rifling thru al his stuff the judge tried to adjorn tthe court date until HE could get his act together !! So I said oh no I will eat th 400 dollars first as the way I figure I had already lost more tthen that by missing work to show up to court dates that he had not shown up to. So the judge tells him that he should at least split the differnce with me ( 200$ ) so get this he actually tried to get out that but she then got mad at him and said yes that is the way it will be!!! I cannot wait until my DD is 21 and I never have to deal with this creep agin. Funny thing is that Karma will coem to him He will end up alone for the rest of his life. My kids dont really want anything to do wiht him He says we live too far for him to just come to take the kids to dinner!! Hahahah He actually plays golf down the road ( Golf ???? Doesnt that cost money.) \
Anyway sorry for my rant
But hang in there in the end it all comes out in the wash\

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

I hear you!

I'm lucky, I'm in a postion where I can take care of the girls myself. I feel for anyone who is dependent on a dead beat.

 

[Cruise04]

Unfortunately I hear ya - going through a very similar thing right now with my ex. And very sad that they don't care about taking care of their children until it's something THEY or their family want!!!!

HUGS

In reading some of the other posts I'm curious about how you work out when the kids don't want to see their parent they don't live with? My dd has gotten to that point but he threatens me with court actions and contempt (which a lawyer told me last week that wouldn't hold up in court). So what do you do? Unfortunately both of us are counting down when she's 18 - 4 more years!

 

[MickeysMommy]

to you. My ex is a jerk, too.

 

[Ragmop]

Does anybody have an EX who is NOT a "jerk"?

 

[MelessaG]

Can I just brag on my cousin a little in this respect? He is twice divorced, never went to college, and has worked manual labor-type jobs all of his adult life. He has one child (now grown) with his first wife and two with his second ex. He has ALWAYS provided for all three of them, even if it meant working two jobs at a time, during holidays, or whatever it took. He has great relationships with them and gets along fairly well with his exes too as evidenced by the fact that they both feel comfortable coming to family functions. Obviously, he isn't perfect or he wouldn't be twice-divorced with three kids, but rarely have I known someone who tries so hard to provide for his kids and spend so much time with them. I've been thinking about him while reading this whole sad thread and am glad for a chance to brag on him.