Ex Co-Worker Problems,(LONG) Need Advice

[CindysGusGus]

Some backround info. I work in a small phone center as a CSR. We were 3 people and a supervisor. We work on a commission if we sell a particular item. Basically, when someone calls in for information about this or we talk to them about it we would make a note on that customers profile that we have talked to them. The three of us girls have worked together for 3 years. Like sisters we got on each others nerves but still cared about one another. Until......

One co-worker decided she needed money and started taking my other co workers and my names out of the profiles and inserting her name in. Among other things she did in the way of theft/embezzlement. I had clear view of what she was doing and when my other coworker and I started noticing that she was getting a lot more than the 2 of us together so I started observing more. I wasnt the only one who noticed. My supervisor noticed as well. About a month later they pulled her into the CAOs office to have a talk. She admitted it. She said she needed the money. She never apologized other than apologizing pretty much for being caught. I broke down that day. I felt so betrayed and just plain angry as this has left us really short handed and just changed the whole atmosphere. The monday after this happened she tried calling me at work and I left her on hold. She has tried calling me at home and I screen my calls. I have nothing to say to her. She does not know that my other co worker and I know everything she has done. She even told my supervisor she didnt think she hurt anyone. She is over 30 and has grown kids. Leads me to believe she knows better. This happened about a month ago. She has recently started calling me again and even tried this morning at work. I told her I was busy, couldnt talk and wouldnt be home tonight. What should I do?? I cant tell her leave me alone I know everything you have done. She has hurt me so very much I feel betrayed and duped. Even angrier when I found she is trying to collect unemployment. As a tax payer I feel she is taking money from my wallet twice. How do I get her to stop calling me tactfully? Obviously ignoring and not responding is not working. Sorry so long...Thanks for hanging in there.

 

[mcnuss]

She has recently started calling me again and even tried this morning at work. I told her I was busy, couldnt talk and wouldnt be home tonight. What should I do?? I cant tell her leave me alone I know everything you have done. She has hurt me so very much I feel betrayed and duped. Even angrier when I found she is trying to collect unemployment. As a tax payer I feel she is taking money from my wallet twice. How do I get her to stop calling me tactfully? Obviously ignoring and not responding is not working. Sorry so long...Thanks for hanging in there.

1. Be honest with her or she's going to pester you forever. Just say simply that you're aware of what happened and while you feel for her predicament, she's made her own bed and you'd prefer not to be in contact. You don't have to be detailed and I'd say not to act angry. Just matter of fact.

2. I have to correct one thing here: your taxes don't fund unemployment compensation. Your employer pays into what is essentially an insurance pool. If you want to be mad at her for trying to collect when other people are legitimately out of work and for trying to bilk the system, you are totally entitled. If it makes you feel better, it's unlikely she would be able to collect based on the circumstances you've described, and your employer has the right (and IMHO, obligation) to fight her all the way.

 

[CindysGusGus]

mcnuss, thank you for clearing up the unemployment issue. I had been misinformed. I still think it was wrong of her to try. They could have prosecuted her for a felony as she had taken well over $200. If I had been her I would be so embarrased Id run the other way if I saw an old coworker. I have been pretty matter of fact when she has caught me on the phone. Usually I am so talkative people cant get me to shut up. She has known me for 3 years I was completely not myself on the phone. I just thought she would have gotten the hint by now.

 

[gr8tpanther]

Why do you have to be tactful? She did you wrong, I would just tell her where to go and why and be done with it. You owe her nothing, if anyone owes anyone it is her owing YOU, at least an APOLOGY!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd be calm and matter-of-fact too. If she's at all unstable, you don't want her to turn into a stalker or something.

I'd tell her that based on what happened at work, you'd rather she not contact you. Then say good-bye and hang up. Don't listen to explanations, apologies, or get into an argument or discussion with her.

 

[JerseyJanice]

You've gotten good advice here.

She must have noticed by now that you don't want to talk to her, yet she persists. She must want something from you--maybe she wants to apologize.

Maybe she wants a job reference and thinks she'll get one from you if she gives you a reason that's all a misunderstanding.

Whatever, I'd avoid getting into any big discussion with her and wish her well in her future endeavors.

 

[CindysGusGus]

Thank you all for your advice. It will be taken.

 

[pamlet]

I must say I agree with everyone else! Let her know - calmly why you feel the way you do.

I also wanted to add that you are lucky that your employer took the actions they did. This IS theft and needed to be addressed as such. I've worked in similar environments and the damage done to the floor when it is NOT addressed is much worse. When it is allowed to continue then morale plummets.

Good luck! Call center work is tougher than a lot of people think! Keep that smile in your voice..

 

[chrissyk]

Do you feel like she's stalking/harrassing you? Is she unstable? If so, you can go to the local police station and ask them to document the calls at least. You may be able to get a no-contact or restraining order against her if need be. I don't know if it would get to that, but better safe than sorry if you really don't want her contacting you.

We are going through something similar with a family member right now. DH wrote them a letter asking them to leave him alone. If that doesn't work, he's going to have to go the police/no-contact order route. There are definitely avenues out there to deal with people who won't stop contacting you.

Then again, maybe she does just want to apologize. You are still under no obligation to deal with her if you don't want to, though.